Newborn
by Lythya
Summary: In this story, Bella becomes vampire before moving to Forks. Try and see how things might have happened, if Bella had become a vampire before meeting Edward, and how she reacts. Rated for violence. Finished by Titanterror12
1. Chapter 1

This is a fanfic about Bella, and I've really tried to write it in the best Twilight-style. Please don't kill me for spelling mistakes and grammar or little finger-mistakes.

Renesmee is not in this story, so those people who does not like Edward's and Bella's relationship in Breaking Dawn, here it is, vampires without a child. (No, I do not hate Breaking Dawn.) Please review and enjoy ^^

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer do.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PREFACE

In my entire life, I had not imagined things could go as they did, but even though I was in more danger than I had ever thought possible, I could not in any way regret or wish that what had happened had not. If it was not for that, I would not have experienced life the way I had these past so too few months. But it was enough for me to know, that I had never lived life before. Not before the god-like creature became my life.

CREATURE

"It's okay, mom, really. I'm not mad at you, I just think it's the best for everyone," I tried to convince my mom. It was hard to keep up the charade of hard, cold stone, when she had crumbled into this the personification of loneliness. I felt like I was betraying her.

"And this way you'll have more time with Phil," I continued, knowing this would help heavily to my victory. Renée was unhappy when her new husband wasn't around, but his job forced him to move around a lot and because of me, my mother couldn't follow.

But if I was gone, she could.

She straightened up a little. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes," I answered, gritting my teeth the slightest bit. I was rotten at lying, especially to Renée. She knew me too well.

"Honey, you don't have to move to that little, dark city, we'll –"

"No, mom. 'Sides, I think it's good if I spend some quality time with Charlie," I noted.

She looked sheepishly down. I tried to smile. It was sort of hard when I knew what was awaiting me in the near future; drizzly Forks, constant raining, few glimpses of sun, depressing fog. But I needed to go. I stepped forth to hug her in a warm embrace.

"It's not like we won't see each other, mom. Please. Trust me. Everyone will be much happier this way. Just think of how ecstatic Charlie will be!" The thought was very appealing, but again, I was a lousy liar. Not everyone would be much happier. I wouldn't.

"Well, if you say so," she sniffed. She must ignore the clear lie, or she was too crazed to notice.

"Good. Now, how about if I make you some dinner? Is spaghetti okay?"

"It's fine," she answered and smiled at me.

I went to the kitchen and began to mix the ingredients. I was very absent minded. I was imagining how Forks would be. I shivered slightly at the memories from the past – summers wasted away in that wet, cold place. I'd suppressed the memories up till now, but now they all kind of pressed into my mind.

"Leave me alone," I muttered under my breathe, trying to concentrate on the dinner. Great. The mere thought of Forks had made me crazy – what wouldn't the city itself do to me?

"Suck it in. You can do this. It's just a city. It's not like your arrival there will make everything point at you, your overreacting," I tried to tell myself, but I wasn't fooling anybody – least of all myself. I was too self-conscious a person for that.

"Dinner's ready," I called, trying to sound casual. I would not let my mother know how much I dreaded my own choice.

"Mmmh," Renée replied and smelled the air. "Something smells good."

"Thanks," I murmured and handed her a plate of spaghetti and filled one of my own. I sat down in front of her and started eating in the silence. As it dragged on, I peeked up at her. She poked the food with her fork, and I licked my lips clear of spaghetti souse and straightened. "Aren't you hungry?" She sighed and kept poking her dinner. "Mom, eat something." She shortly scowled at me and then started eating.

"I guess you're right. Again. It's weird to have a thirty-five year old daughter."

I grimaced at her joke. I didn't choose to be the responsible one. I had to.

"When I'm finished I'll call Charlie and tell him the good news," I announced. It was hard to not choke on the words _good news_.

"Sure," she said with a shrug.

When we were finished, I cleared the dishes and went for the phone. I dialed Charlie's number and tapped nervously with my food. Could I lie about my misery to Charlie?

"Hello, chief Swan," Charlie answered the phone. I smiled.

"Hi dad, it's Bella," I greeted him.

"Oh, hey Bells! How's it going?" He sounded both surprised and happy. Yes, he was going to like the news.

"Well, how it's going on is that … Well, I'd like … To ask if I could come live with you in Forks."

There. It was said now. Out in the open.

"Wow, Bells, are you … Sure?"

I sort of suspected him to correct _sane_ to _sure_. Still – he sounded pleased.

"Yea, dad. I've been thinking about it for a while now, and I think I should move to Forks."

"Well, of course you're welcome! When will you come?"

I peeked at Renée from the corner of my eye. "Uhm. Let me get back to you on that one."

"Sure, sure. I guess I'll see you soon then."

"Yes," I answered, smiling at the obvious thrill in his voice. "I'll see you soon." I hung up the phone and looked outside the window. It was starting to get dark. Phil would soon get home.

I walked into the living room, which was actually just part of the kitchen, where Renée was watching some movie, covered by a blanket. A sudden urge to share this moment made me sit down beside her, though I really never watched much TV or knew what the movie so far was about.

While I laid there, I wondered what was awaiting me in Forks. I was annoyingly aware of the fact that nothing big could ever happen there. I could already imagine my first day at the school – all those eyes, staring at the new girl from sunnier places. I sighed. It was going to be really crappy there. But I would suck it in and act like nothing was bothering me. If I spared enough money, college wasn't far away, and then I could go somewhere sunny.

Sunny already seemed so far away to me, it was like I was already there in Forks. Like I'd already said goodbye to Phoenix.

I hardly noticed when Phil came home. He was happily whistling, oblivious to his wife's bad mood. I decided to move up to my own room.

I still had some homework to get done, but I didn't feel like doing them. What was the point when I was leaving soon?

I sighed and found _Romeo & Juliet_ and flipped the book open at the point I'd gotten to last night.

It wasn't much time that had went when I heard my mom tell Phil the 'good' news downstairs. She was quite upset, and I felt guilty, as I always did when she was in this mood, whether it was my fault or not.

I tried to shut it out, but it was impossible. I found a CD and put it on. It was Debussy – Clair de Lune. I listened to the familiar sound and slowly felt more at ease. I soon drifted into dreams of drizzly forests and streets.

"I can't believe you're leaving," Clare declared disapprovingly. "It's just not fair! And without any time in advantage!"

"Clare," I clarified, "this _is_ your advantage."

"Of course it is," she spat and scowled at me.

"Clare, I really want to go to Forks," I said.

She rolled her eyes. "Sure. And my dad is Ronald McDonald. Bella, you suck at lying. Please stop doing it. You hate Forks!"

"I don't … _Hate_ Forks," I mumbled.

"No, no, that's true. You absolutely loath it."

"See you, Clare," I said and crossed the street away from her.

"You can't keep running away from me!" she promised me.

"I'm not running from anything. I'm just taking advantage of the fact that you don't live on the same street as I do," I said, grinning back at her, before she disappeared among the crowd.

As soon as she couldn't see me anymore, I sighed. It was hard to keep acting all cheery. And I would have to keep acting for a long time. Even after I came to Forks. I would have to pretend to be happy there. Like that was even possible!

There was one light side to all of this – after two years of practice before college, I _must_ become a good liar.

Renée wasn't home, and I started doing my homework. As soon as I was finished, I continued on reading. After reading a few hours, I decided to clean the house a bit. I tried to occupy my mind and not think of the future.

Though I couldn't fight my bad mood, I had to pretend to be the incarnation of cheeriness when Renée came home. She seemed to be better now – that was good. This would make it easier for me.

That night I felt like I'd already left Phoenix again. In the back of my ear, I could hear the drops hit the ground. _Blob, blob, blob_.

"Mom, I'll go for a walk," I announced and was outside before she could answer. It was still warm, and that helped my mind remembering that I hadn't left.

Not many people was outside at this hour. I wondered how it would be in Forks. It was such a small town. Either nobody was out, or everybody was because there was nothing to fear there.

As I crossed a small street to my left, I heard something. Someone. Someone breathe.

I peeked down the street and stepped a few steps into it. There was nothing, but the sound kept on, like it wasn't aware it wasn't supposed to be there. Instead of growing smaller, the sound was suddenly fierce, and I turned around to leave. Something scratched a container behind me, but I ignored it. I was going to go straight home. Who knew what was hiding here, in the dark?

Steps. Like someone was getting to their feet. I wasn't far from the street, but my curiosity made me look around.

I didn't see anything, but I was suddenly trapped in a blur of light and darkness. Something cold – ice-cold – shut my mouth before I could scream. I was far into the street now, surrounded by darkness.

And then I was flying. It was all going so quickly. I felt nauseous and made sure my eyes was closed.

Then it stopped. I wasn't moving anymore.

But then I felt something else. Something bored into my neck. I tried to scream, but the hand made me not.

It was like all blood in my veins was suddenly determined to flow to my neck, to the place where something cold was touching me. I felt woozy. My brain started to set out. It wasn't even half-bad. Whatever was happening, I was pretty sure I was dying. It would soon be over.

Then I fell to the ground. Nothing cold held me anymore, and the air felt extra warm. Though the hand couldn't stop me from screaming now, I didn't. I felt too weak.

Then noises cut into my ears, making my hyper aware of everything around me. Something was snarling, growling. I could hear the air move around, but when I peeked, I couldn't see anything.

And then I didn't care.

From my neck, it felt like somebody had filled me with fire, and now it was slowly spreading to the rest of my body.

What had I done to deserve this? What was going on? This was so – painful wasn't even the right word! It was unbearable! Never before I had wanted to die, but now I did. Or cut the part that hurt off. I wished I could do something about this, but it was like I had turned completely numb.

And then I realized that the pain was increasing.

I wanted to scream, but I also wanted to know what was going on. I tried to listen to what was going on around me, but it was like I was in the water.

"_Mine_," I heard someone snarl near me.

"Give her to me," someone growled.

"_Never_!"

More snarling. And then I couldn't keep taps on anything around me anymore. I was completely devoted to the pain. I suddenly understood how it'd been in the middle-ages to be accused to be a witch.

An idea occurred to me. Whoever it was that was talking and snarling and growling, I could ask them to kill me. I could ask them to stop this.

I tried to open my mouth to speak to them, but instead, a low whisper of a cry came out. I realized I wouldn't be able to speak and shut my mouth, gritting my teeth against the pain. I bored my nails into the grass beneath me.

Grass? When had I been moved from the city?

More snarling reached my ears. Something hit the ground not far from me.

"_Mine_!" a voice shouted triumphantly, and I felt something cold around me again, and before I knew of it, the cold touch was at my neck again, a different place now. I realized something was biting me, and that I'd been bitten before. Why? Irritation managed to cut through the pain, to make me angry at all this evasiveness.

I felt the blood flow to my neck again, and some pain drew with it, too. I felt grateful at whatever was causing this. But then the cold left me again, another snarl right at my ear. My mouth formed a silent cry when more pain hit me from the new bite. Why wasn't I dying? I wouldn't survive this pain that was for certain! I would grow insane.

I didn't know how long I laid there, but I noticed when the sun rose and the snarling was still going. Something glimpsed outside my shut lids. I thought about Renée for a moment, but I wasn't able to keep her in mind for more than a second. Pain was all.

"She's spoiled!" a voice spat angrily. "Look what you've done!"

"Shut up! We have to get her away from here. Into the forest."

What was they talking about? I didn't try to figure it out. It was too hard to focus on anything but the pain.

I did notice, though, when the sun disappeared in a green kind of light.

"This is such a waste!"

"She's already far enough through the process, it would be stupid to even try. Her blood would be ruined."

"Exactly," the first voice growled.

I drifted away in red pain again. The fire had reached my feet and fingertips by now, and every part of my body was suffering. No one, not even serial killers, I was sure, deserved this. So why was I trapped with this faith?

"She'll be angry when she awakes."

"So? As her creators we have to tell her the rules."

"You can do that. I have no experience dealing with newborns."

Newborns?

"You can't run from the responsibility."

"Watch me."

I heard more snarling. And I suddenly heard footsteps. Weird. I hadn't heard that the last time the two voices, the two men, had been fighting. I tried to listen for more. A squirrel was looking for food, a bird was singing, the wind was – wait! How could I hear this?

Something cold touched my forehead.

"I'm sorry," the voice said. It sounded gentle. "He's young, especially of his age. He's scared. He ran off. I couldn't stop him. But that's okay." He paused for a moment, and my ears went down under the surface of pain again, until he called me back again. "You're doing well. I have to tell you, I didn't even do this well."

What was he talking about? I didn't get it.

"My name is Elias. I'm your creator – well, me and the coward. I wonder what your name is." He removed his cold hand, and the fire returned to the point, stronger than before because the point had been numbed.

"You might be a bit mad when you wake up, and that's quite fair. I'm sure you can hear me now, so I'll just tell you everything while you're in this, er, condition. You're turning into a vampire. You're lucky I was around to fight for you." He chuckled. I didn't understand why.

As he chuckled, I could smell him. I pulled in the scent, trying to find something to compare it with. I couldn't. It was amazing …

"Well, as I said, you're turning into a vampire." I couldn't believe him. A vampire? A mythical creature? Me? Sure. "You're going through the changing now. It's painful, I know. We've all been there. When you wake up, you'll be thirsty. Just follow your instincts. Many things will be changed when you wake up. That's my best advice.

Now to the more important part." What could be more important than that? I couldn't tell, and I wondered off into more pain, swimming in it. Drowning in it. I wanted to scream, but I didn't see what good it would do.

" … the rules. It's very important. There's the … Volturi. Follow their rules. I don't want to scare you with all the details. Well, that's about it."

Rules? What rules? Shouldn't he say that?

"Bye, stranger."

No! I wanted to scream at him to get back. He couldn't just leave me like this! This was so unfair!

A low scream escaped my lips.

"Keep in there," he told me. Then I heard him leave.

Now I would truly go insane.

The fire continued. It burned and burned, left my veins as ashes. How could I still be alive? I wanted to die! But I couldn't move. I was like a stone.

Forever went again and again. Then I noticed a lack of power in the fire in my fingertips and in my toes. Was it finally starting to stop? I remembered Elias and what he'd said. What would I be when the fire stopped? _If_ it stopped.

The fire slowly recoiled a bit. It was too slow. It almost didn't happen. But it did.

As my fingertips felt numb, the pain suddenly creased in the rest of my body, and as the fire pulled back, the pain grew stronger the places it still was.

My heart started to pound faster and faster, and I understood that it was fighting the fire, but it was doomed to fail.

My heart pounded harder and harder, faster and faster, the fire burned more painful than ever. They would soon collide. And I would die. Finally.

The pain was too much, I crushed my teeth down into my tongue. Blood filled my mouth.

The fire had surrounded my heart, the last part of me it hadn't consumed. It came closer and closer, leaving my body numb and free of fire.

My heart pounded a few quickly pounds. Then one. And then it stopped. Both heartbeat and fire was gone. And I was still alive.

I opened my eyes to see if I had gone to either heaven or hell – I couldn't believe the still-being-alive part.

Everything was so clear, so sharp. I could see _everything_. I blinked and got up. I was surprised there was no movement. The one moment I prepared to move, the next I had done it.

I looked down at myself, wondering if anything had changed. I froze when I saw my hands. They were white. My clothes was dirty and ruined.

Before I could notice anything else, I tasted something sweet in my mouth. I remembered biting my tongue. I swallowed. A thrill went down my spine. I licked my lips clear of blood, and then froze once again. I liked blood?

I suddenly remembered Elias. He'd told me I was becoming a vampire. Was that what I was now? Vampires drank blood.

"No!" I whispered, too preoccupied with disgust to notice the change in my voice. In one second, I realized what had happened. 'The Coward' had been the one to bring me out of the city and to this forest. What had Elias meant I'd been lucky he'd been there?

I was a vampire now. 'The Coward' had wanted to drink me, but he hadn't succeeded. Why, I couldn't put together. It was part of my human mind, and it seemed like my human memories was from another life, another person's thoughts. It was like looking through water.

I remembered Elias saying I should follow my instincts. I believed him now that I could feel my throat burning. I hadn't noticed that before. Now I did. I was thirsty.

But I wouldn't hunt humans! No. I could not do that. But what then?

I had to go to Phoenix. I had to see if my mom was okay, I had to find out how long I'd been gone. I stepped out from the forest and into the sun.

My skin suddenly sparkled like diamonds, and I quickly stepped back into the forest. If any human saw me, I couldn't imagine what they would think. I wouldn't do that to them; I wouldn't show them the world I'd been so abruptly introduced to. The world I didn't want to know about. I couldn't force them into this. No. I wouldn't hurt them in any way.

I went into the forest. Okay, so I sparkled in the sun. Great.

I stopped at a lake to take a look at myself. The pain must have ruined me entirely. I washed my face and then looked at what must be a terrible mirror-image.

My eyes widened. I couldn't comprehend what was staring back at me. Some dark-haired beauty. That wasn't me. It couldn't be. I tried to wave at her. She did so, too. She was pale, her skin all white. The hair was wild and fell into the face in wild strings. Then I saw the eyes. Crimson red. They flowed with blood, I was sure. What had happened with my chocolate brown color? What had happened with _me_? I felt lost and fearsome. What would become of me? And I was so thirsty …

The city was behind me. It would be so easy. Wait till nightfall and then –

No. I got up and ran away. The speed took me by surprise, and I stopped. I wanted to scream out my agony and punched my hand into a tree.

The tree splintered and fell down toward me. I froze, not able to find out what to do.

I wasn't hurt. The tree was entirely crushed. Because of me. Okay, so I was beautiful, strong _and_ quick. And I was thirsty.

The sun would turn me into a diamond when I stepped into it. It had to leave. In the north it was cloudy. I knew that from Forks.

But what did I do about the thirst part? I didn't want to hurt anybody, least of all people I knew. I couldn't be anywhere near either Phoenix or Forks. Canada. I had to leave for Canada.

I stopped myself before running. Elias. I had to find Elias. He was the only point I knew in this new world of mine, this world I didn't know anything about. He would have to explain what was going on.

I remembered the scent of him. I sniffed in the air, believing I might catch his scent.

I did.


	2. Chapter 2

Here is the second part. Wee!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BLOOD

I ran for a long time, following the scent. It led north, which didn't surprise me. I wondered what Elias and the other vampire had even been doing so far south. I would soon find out. Elias had some clearing out to do.

I ran either in the forest or at night. It was unbelievable how quickly this went. The sun came less and less often. And then it started to rain.

At first I was grateful. This meant I could follow his scent in the daytimes, too. But then I found that his scent was washed away in the rain. My last hope of sanity, of surviving, was disappearing. I couldn't let this happen.

I ran quicker than ever, wondering why everything didn't turn into a blur. My eyes saw everything. Though it seemed weird, it felt natural, too. Like I'd been doing this the whole time.

I still didn't work well with my strength, though. Many trees and rocks had fallen under my uncontrolled fists in this frustration of mine. Only one thing was in my mind: Elias. His voice, his scent. It would be a lot easier if I'd seen him.

The rain had only fallen for two hours before the trail was gone. I stopped and stood beside the highway, my hair dripping, drops traveling down my face. I was like stone. I stared forward, not knowing what to do with myself. I was thirsty. I felt my instincts pulling me toward any place with humans. I looked at a board with all the near cities this trail let to. Port Angeles, Seattle, Forks ...

I suddenly realized that I'd gotten too much to the west. I wouldn't go anywhere near Forks, not even to find Elias.

But what if it was there he was …

No. I wouldn't do that.

Light fell upon me, but I didn't sparkle. I turned around. A car had stopped and someone was coming out.

"Miss, are you okay? Do you need a ride?" a voice asked. I blinked. It was a human, a man. His hair was black, his skin very dark.

And then he came close enough for me to smell him. His scent was warm, inviting, floral, like nothing I'd ever smelled. My mouth went watering. My throat was burning, craving his blood. I only had to take a few steps and lean forward to place my lips against his throat. He wouldn't need to be scared, I would do it quickly …

I took one step toward him. There was a part of me that was screaming at me, screaming for me to stop. But it was the lesser part. I was thirsty, and this man, not knowing what was coming for him, was very appetizing. This part of me was almost singing with joy that my first would soon be satisfied, that his blood would run in my eyes, on my tongue, my lips would be cleared of every spot of the red, delicious –

I stopped right there. The lesser part was shouting louder and louder, hysteric now. The two parts of me was screaming at each other. I couldn't stand it. I turned around and ran. I didn't care how scared the man was. I didn't care that I shouldn't be running this fast in front of a human.

"Wait!" I could hear him yell in the distant, but I was already so far away … He would probably think I was a vision of the rain or something. He'd forget about this in time, or I would be a crazy girl he'd met on the highway. Nothing of importance.

The rain was the only smell now, and I stopped. I felt like crying. I'd almost killed the poor man, doing to him what had almost been done to me. I felt like crying. Nothing of importance. That was what I was. No one but Elias knew who I was, and he didn't want to know of me. He was gone, and I couldn't find him. I was utterly lost.

I remembered the smell. The one part of me wanted to run back and kill him. That part was a monster! I couldn't listen to her. The monster must be destroyed. If I didn't drink, I would attack humans, but the only thing that could satisfy my thirst was the humans!

I screamed in frustration. I missed humanity. I wished there was something I could do to become one again. I missed my mother, I missed Charlie, and I missed everyone. I was surprised tears didn't fill my eyes.

I crumbled into a ball, rocking back and forth. How could I kill the monster? I remembered myths about how to kill vampires, but I was very sure they couldn't be real. The sun thing wasn't, why should onions and crucifies be any better? Jumping off a cliff probably wouldn't do anything, drowning, either. I'd already experienced that I didn't need to breathe.

How the hell did a vampire die?

In that moment, the rain stopped, and I could suddenly smell something I couldn't before. I looked around. I could hear blood running in veins, a heart. But after smelling the man, I quickly put together that this was no human.

I followed the scent through the forest, drawn by anything that could cause the burning in my throat to stop. I felt crazed by the constant thirst. If I didn't stop the thirst, the monster would break free, and I would kill. I would change into a killer, and I wouldn't be able to recognize myself again. I was positive. So I simply had to follow. There was no other option.

I saw it sitting in the tree, glaring at me with wide, wary eyes. A mountain lion, I was pretty sure. It didn't smell as appealing as the human, but it was there. And it smelled … Like food.

In the same moment as the thought occurred to me, I no longer stopped myself. In one second, I'd attacked the lion, pulling it to the ground and ground my teeth in its neck. The blood pulled toward my mouth, filling it. The lion tried to fight me, but it couldn't. Nothing could fight me. I was unstoppable.

The monster inside me was smaller when I straightened from the dead lion. But it was still there. And my throat was still burning. I was still thirsty.

But now there was an option. I smiled. I didn't have to be a monster.

It was then I noticed that my clothes were completely ruined. I would have to get some new soon. I could break into a shop at nighttime.

But now it wasn't about shopping. It was about satisfying the monster as well as I could without human blood. I tried to sense more animals. I smelled them, but I found that nothing smelled as appealing as the mountain lion. Much of it actually smelled unappealing. But I had to hunt.

I kept hunting until I was positive I was filled. My hair was wild, my clothes destroyed and the monster better fed.

I sighed and decided that when the night fell, I would go to Seattle and find something to wear. The rain started to fall again, and I looked for a place to wash my face and body clean of blood. When I looked in the lake I found, I stared at myself. The eyes was still red. I kind of expected them to change. This was the eyes of the monster, and I wasn't the monster anymore, was I? I had eaten animals before, as a human, though not mountain lions and deer. I smiled wryly with sarcasm. I wondered how a vegetarian would get through this.

It was easy to erase every the evidence of blood from my body. It was like it all kind of washed off. The clothes was a different case, but I didn't care.

I wondered if Seattle was too close to Forks, but I decided it was worth the risk. I would go away after that. I had to find out how to get through this. Somehow I would. I had to.

I moved in the shadows when the night fell. Only a few humans was out at this time of night, and I was glad to find out that my wild hunt had helped. My throat still burned, but I was able to keep my thoughts strained.

I found a shop with the clothes I wanted. Jeans and a green long-sleeve. It didn't hurt me when I with ducked head broke the glass and went in while the alarm began. I found the camera and broke it without effort. I was sure to break the tape, too. Then I looked for the size of the clothes I wanted. After this was done, I left the store. It had taken less than five seconds, and in less than five seconds, I was in the other end of the city. I ran out of the city, heading north. When I was on the edge of the city, I changed. It felt nice to have decent clothes on again. I sighed and left the old clothes in a container and then ran for the forest.

I didn't know where I was going. I only knew it was north I was heading. And then I suddenly came across a scent I hadn't been expecting. Elias.

I laughed at the convenience of this. And then I stopped. My voice was completely different. Like bell chime. I gasped. Then I tried to laugh again. It was amazing, and I listened as I laughed again. Amazing.

I pulled myself together, starting to investigate. It hadn't been long since he'd been here. I knew that it would surely rain again soon. I couldn't lose him again. So I started running again.

I didn't follow him into cities. Though I had figured out that vampires could go around among humans in day time in the north, I didn't want to push my luck. I wouldn't hurt anyone, and cities were very crowded.

I was catching up with him. I would get my answers.

I wasn't really sure where I was. I had followed him for soon two days. It was wet, wherever I was, and I still felt strange about the whole everything-being-warm thingy.

That was when I felt it. The scent. It wasn't Elias, it wasn't one person, and it wasn't humans – it was vampires. I sniffed several times, but I was certain – and I was suddenly curious. Elias must know I was after him, and he hadn't turned to face me. Maybe it was better if I contacted other vampires. I felt strangely high at the thought of meeting new vampires, and I started to follow the new scent.

It let into the city, but this time I didn't care. My body didn't react as I first suspected to the human scent. It was as if my mind tricked my body because I was so obsessed with these vampires. No matter what it was, I didn't feel the urge to stop and kill one of those innocent ones.

I followed the scent to the very center of the city. I couldn't comprehend how they'd found strength to go into the city – maybe vampires grew stronger to restrain quickly. For some reason I didn't believe this. I had smelled blood. I knew better than believing in that. So what could it be?

_They're hunting_, I suddenly thought.

I scanned the streets around me, smelling them, but not seeing them. Several people crossed my path, a few of them glancing at me, most of them men, but I didn't look at them. Maybe I looked crazy as I stood there, turning from one side to another to look for someone who obviously wasn't there.

I waited for many hours, and the drizzly day turned to night. Lesser and lesser people drew by, and as my excitement faded, my nose seemed to notice the scent more and more. I stopped breathing and hid my face. I probably should get a jacket. I wasn't cold, but I would look weird.

"What are you doing here?" a woman's voice asked me from behind, and I knew what she was in an instant. She was the only one who would address me, because she was the same thing as I. Her voice was like honey, and I turned to look at her. She had flame-red hair and pale skin – of course – and her eyes were red, like mine. I wondered if any humans noticed this fact.

I was speechless. I couldn't help staring. She observed quickly, reached for my hand and dragged me along. I felt my instincts telling me to step back from her touch, but I didn't. I had to trust her.

"Follow me!" she ordered, but I didn't see much meaning in the words as I was already obeying.

She led me, a bit too quickly, to a house some blocks away. It was a lousy hotel that she dragged me into, but I figured that made sense. Humans would get scared if they knew, so it was best to keep it low.

She knocked a code on a door, and a key turned in the door. A locked door wouldn't keep vampires away, so they must not want to be disturbed by humans. I understood that.

She led me in, and I saw two other vampires. They were both men. One had a strange skin – olive-toned – and black hair. The other one had light-brown hair.

"Victoria, what –" asked the brown-haired one, seeming vigilant.

"She was attracting attention at the street," the woman answered and turned to me, the oblivious. "Who are you?" she asked.

I looked down, not knowing what to answer. Who was I? Did I even know myself anymore?

"I'm … I'm Bella," I whispered, and my voice cracked half way through.

"I'm Victoria, and this is James," the woman addressed to the brown-haired one, "and Laurent," the black-haired man.

"What are you doing here?" James asked suspiciously.

I knew that if I still could, I would blush. "I … I'm new," I said, not really knowing how it came to me.

"That much is obvious," Victoria said, rolling her eyes.

I ducked my head. From the corner of my eye, I saw James look warningly at Victoria and then surprised at me.

"I was following a vampire – the vampire that created me – when I crossed your scent. I thought it might be better to find you …"

"Why were you following him?" Laurent asked.

"I don't have anything to hold on to at the moment … I don't know what I am."

"You're a vampire," Victoria pointed out.

"But I'm also a monster," I whispered.

"No, you're not," Victoria argued.

"I guess it must be a matter of perspective," I challenged.

"Then you have a wrong perspective," she stated.

I felt a low growl grow in my throat, but I stopped it harshly. "I'm sorry," I mumbled. Victoria looked incredulously at me.

"Tell us what happened," James said, looking interested at me.

I took a deep breath and told them everything – stealing the clothes, the man on the highway, hunting the animals.

"You've been living on animal blood?" James asked, his eyebrows high, as if he couldn't believe what I was telling him. "No humans? Really?"

"I … I don't like to think of them as … Food. I don't like to hurt them … I remember being hurt myself," I mumbled, embarrassed. They must think I was a freak.

"Surely you can't live like that," Laurent said. "We must help you hunt."

I was immediately terrified. "What do you mean?"

"You need to feed on humans to get by," Victoria told me. I wrinkled my nose. It sounded so grotesque.

"You can stay with us for a while," Laurent suggested, looking at Victoria and James. James nodded, and after a second, Victoria did, too.

So I did.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all for your comments! They really warmed my heart  And already on the same day I posted it. Since I've already written chapter 3, I'll post it right away. I'm on my way with chapter 4, trust me, it's going to be GREAT! As least, I'm going to enjoy writing it xD

Note: You should thank my friend, Henriette, whom I am writing this for xD And meanwhile, I thank you for reading my stuff.

Enjoy ^^

Ethic

They agreed to take me out already that same night. There was no point in waiting a whole other day. They said it was better to hunt at night. Less possibility at getting seen.

"Why is it so important not to be seen?" I asked Victoria. "I mean, I agree, but we're so strong … Why does it matter?"

Victoria shrugged. "It's the rule," she just answered, and I didn't get more out of her.

We stood outside in the streets. The smell of humans was all around me. I looked cautiously at the others who looked back encouragingly. Laurent waved for the streets. "Just follow the scent," he told me.

I closed my eyes. They were my only way of survival, my only point to turn to. This was the only way. And maybe Victoria would trust me then.

I smelled the scent, and I felt a pull. But I also felt part of me struggling for me to run the other way. Yet, it was so seductive. I took a step … The smell … It filled me entirely. It was so seductive – so easy. It would take seconds. My prey wouldn't get to feel a thing. I would end it quickly …

Then I realized I was losing myself, and I stepped back. "I can't," I said. "I can't do it."

"Sure you can," Victoria growled. "Watch!"

When she ran off and soon disappeared, it wasn't my eyes that told me what was happening, but my ears. And my nose. Blood. Blood dripping.

My feet started running on their own. It was a too short distance – I couldn't stop. I found Victoria standing a few meters from the dead body. The blood would be just the slightest bit cold, and it grew colder still. But it was still warm, still tasty …

I found my mouth suddenly at the body's neck, no thoughts for whom it might be, who this woman had as beloved ones. My view had only the blood on spot.

In a flash I bit a hole in the neck – it was easy. Then I softly pressed my tongue against the wound, feeling the blood dripping, the taste filled me, I finally understood what this was all about – there was nothing to compare with this. The taste of human blood.

I snapped my head away and stepped back, holding my hand up before my mouth. "No!" I cried out.

"Yes," Victoria answered, and I saw her smile. I was filled with a fury I had never imagined before, but the body laid before me, and it was enough to confuse me. I couldn't concentrate on my growing grudge against Victoria. The blood was there … But it would be cold now, already. I could hunt a new one.

I cried out a low scream of pain at what I had become in so few seconds.

"Don't be whiny, Bells. You didn't kill him. I did," Victoria snorted.

"I … drank … his … blood," I whispered.

"Don't think so much about it, Bella," I heard Laurent say behind me. I felt his hand on my shoulder, but I quickly shied away from the touch.

"Why, there isn't even anything to think about!" Victoria growled. "It's completely natural!"

"No," I whispered. "No!" I turned around and felt my feet running. I had never been in so much agony.

"Bella!" I heard Laurent call in the distance, but all sounds soon disappeared, and so did the city, too. I was quicker than them. I would outrun them.

It took me two minutes or so before I realized someone was following me. Only one of them. I stopped, suddenly curious. I was blazed at how quick my brain could twist.

"Bella, don't run away like that," I heard James plead. "We only want to help you."

"I can't live like you. I'm sorry," I whispered.

"If you don't want to live like us, you can still live _with_ us," he suggested.

I hesitated. This was something I should look cautiously upon. Victoria didn't like me. It could turn out bad if I stayed.

"Just for a while, Bella. You need us to guide you," he said, and he sounded so convincing.

"But you can't guide me the way I need," I told him. "We're different, James. I'm not like you three. I can't just … Kill."

"And that's admirable," James pointed out.

"I don't like to know that people die just so that we can –"

"People die all the time, Bella. The man Victoria killed could be run over by a car tomorrow."

"But you don't _know_! He could have lived many happy years with children and grandchildren!"

"Bella, we are what we are. You're one of us, no matter if you want to or not, no matter how different you are. You have to kill in order to survive. You ate animals before. The humans are the animals now," James said.

"I swear at God, I will _never_ treat a human that way! It's … We've all been one of them ourselves!"

"Bella – God doesn't exist for us." He spread his arms to the sides, as to make me aware of our surroundings. "Stay with us, Bella." He held forth a hand, and I looked hesitantly at it. I felt darkness spread behind me – an unknown future that threatened. If I stayed just a little while longer, I could learn so much more. It would be worth it, I was sure.

I nodded and took his hand. "Okay."

Victoria did not look happy when we came back. Her eyes were dark when they looked at me, fierce, but they changed immediately when she turned to James. I saw admiration in her eyes. She was very fond of James. Maybe more fond than I had first thought.

"James," Laurent said, "Victoria and I think we should move out tonight. Bella might have attracted attention earlier."

James nodded. "I agree. But first!" He turned to look at me, and he gazed from my feet to head, and back again. "You need some new clothes. And a warm jacket." He grinned.

I rolled my eyes. "How will we know?" I asked, and both James and Laurent smiled. Victoria looked away with hard eyes, and I felt my heart sink.

"Let's go!" James said, and they immediately pulled me toward a shop. We used only minutes to find an outfit for me, easy and warm-looking. I couldn't tell the difference – everything was warm to my cold skin.

Then we left. We ran in the direction of south: Victoria had some friends far away that she wanted to see. I felt the tension from James and Laurent and wondered how it could be. There was much I didn't understand, but I was sure that I would find out at some point. I had to. Or things were looking pretty serious.

We'd run for two days, and it almost didn't rain anymore, but it was still a bit cloudy. I didn't keep track of where we were: the others knew.

"I think we should go hunt," James suggested, and both Laurent and Victoria agreed. As he mentioned the word _hunt_, I felt agony rip up my throat, thirst overwhelming me. I had to concentrate and remember my own vow: I would not look at humans as food. But I knew I could never really restrain from that – it was in my nature. But I could make myself not react on it. With a little effort.

"What do you do, Bella?" James asked and looked cautiously at me.

Victoria snorted. "She'll go hunt some freaking bunnies," she said blackly.

I frowned but didn't look at her. I didn't like the way her eyes burned into me, and it was easier to ignore when I didn't look at her. But she was always part of my thoughts. I could think of so many things at the same time, so she would always be there, always watching me.

"Not bunnies," I mumbled and turned away.

"We'll see you soon. Let's meet here in a few hours," Laurent said, and I nodded. My back was at the others, so I couldn't see if they did, too. My instincts told me to turn around. I knew Victoria was dangerous, but I had to trust her. If I couldn't do that, as least trust that she would trust and obey James.

And so I ran off.

The animals were not near as appetizing after I had tasted that mans blood. I could still remember the taste. I sometimes caught myself thinking of hunting another, just one. But I knew what that would lead to. I shuddered at the thought.

So even though the animals were not appetizing – they never was, but this was different – I did my duty and filled my throat with their blood. I hated myself, and I knew I also hated Elias and the 'coward' – they probably did right, fearing with me. The last days I'd experienced that I was stronger and faster than the others, because I was so filled with human blood. They said it would begin to fade soon. "Don't get your nose too high up in the air," Victoria had said.

The others hadn't arrived when I came back. I stood as still as a stone as I waited. It didn't bother me to stand like that. I was the hardest thing around. A car could come crushing into me and I would hardly feel a thing.

"Look! The vegetarian is already finished! To hard for her to live like that? Maybe she'll give in!"

I turned to my right, knowing Victoria was the one who had spoken. "Stop it, Victoria!" James snapped at her, and Victoria looked angrily at me, as if she was going to make a run for it and snap my neck off. I wasn't sure it would kill me.

"Let us be off!" Laurent suggested. James nodded, and he and Victoria ran in the front – as they always did.

We ran a long time again. The sun became more and more daily, and I remembered how I had hated having to move to Forks, drizzly, dark, rainy Forks, but now I knew it would have been perfect for vampires. Maybe there even passed some by now and then.

They quickly got thirsty again. This time, they had to wait till nightfall before they could go hunt. We were in sunnier places now.

Personally I didn't feel thirsty – my throat always burned, but it was more than bearable – so I just waited.

"Does animals feed ya' more?" Victoria asked sarcastically.

"That's actually pretty interesting," Laurent noted and looked at me with his head cocked to the side.

I shrugged. "Maybe I'm just not as addicted to feeding because my food isn't quite as appetizing," I said.

James nodded and grinned. "I'm choosing our side of living."

"Never asked you to do anything else," I whispered. He didn't respond, and they soon left.

"Are we going to South America?" I asked. I could feel the air changing – It was warmer.

"Yes," Victoria answered and send me sharp, piercing look. "What of it?"

"Nothing," I quickly responded, not wanting to make her more upset. I was feeling strangely lost in this pack. There didn't go one hour by without Victoria sending me dirty looks.

I was feeling nauseous most of the time because the others so often went hunting. The thought of how many people died every time was frightening. What would it say in the papers? Would it even be mentioned? Would whomever it was just be announced missing and never be found. Maybe the half-drank body would be found, and –

I had to stop doing that. Letting my mind go places it shouldn't.

It was when we were in Central America it happened. I heard Victoria and James talk about a family that had lots and lots of security – rich people. At first I thought they were going to take the money, but then I realized, that it wasn't the money they were after – it was the people. They were going to hunt them and purposefully make their last hours worse than death.

"You can't be serious!" I snarled at them. "I can't get how you can just plan to destroy their lives!"

"Bella, easy –"

"No, James!" I yelled. "This is not right! We do not have to be monsters! We don't!"

"We aren't. The lion plan before it attack, too," James argued.

"Shut up, James, this isn't the time for that!"

"Then when is?" Victoria asked and walked right up to me. I felt the urge to shape my fingers around her neck and crush it. I controlled myself and gritted my teeth. "You're weak, Bella, and we all know it! You just can't be a part of this world! It's not yours! You don't want it! So why do you force yourself upon us?"

I stared at her. Then I felt something click in my head, and I launched for her, everything seeming red and dangerous around me. She was prepared, and she attacked just as committed as I did.

I grabbed around her shoulders with both hands, instinctively knowing she would try to bite me. She pushed me to the ground and, as I had foreseen, she tried to bite me. I put my knee in her back and pushed her angrily away, before I with a snarl bit her in the shoulder.

Then Laurent and James grabbed us, pulling us away from each other. I could see Victoria fight Laurent, her wild eyes like an animal. I imagined my own wasn't much different.

"Enough!" James growled behind me when I tried to break free. I snarled furiously, trying to come free. "Monster!" James screamed desperately when I was near getting free. Then I stopped fighting. He was right. I was becoming the very thing I loathed so much. I straightened, and he let me go. I took some breathes to steady myself. Victoria was still looking at me with her deep, dark red eyes.

"I'm going back north," I announced. "I can't stand this madness."

"Bella, please, stay," James said and took my hand. He looked into my eyes with risen eyebrows and deep contraction. In the same moment I was slammed to the earth again, and a strong set of teeth were biting into my neck, and I felt pain run through me. I shivered in agony.

I pushed her away, but instead she rolled over me, and I could see her eyes, big with jalousie, anger, hate, grief, happiness that she was about to end me.

But I wasn't going to let her.

"You don't belong here!" she hissed. "Let me spare you of all the confusion!"

Her hands pressed around me neck, and even though I tried to resist, she tore my head around with a cracking sound, and I snarled in both fury and pain. I grabbed some part of her and clutched my hand. Crushing.

The weight was gone now, I heard her gasp. I gripped the chance and reached for her, but something stopped me: my sense of moral, of ethics.

I ran ten feet away and turned around to glare at her. She stared back. I nodded to Laurent and James. "Goodbye." James looked at the ground, and Laurent nodded.

"This won't be goodbye," Victoria spat, but I was already running.


	4. Chapter 4

I finished! Yay xD Already. Well, I couldn't help it. As soon as I started, my fingers kinda couldn't stop. So, enjoy this next part. I will hurry to bring you more. Trust me, I'm looking forward to Edward, too.

Once again: Thank you so much for comments.

family

I ran as quickly as I could, away from them, away from what I had become. I didn't know what I wanted to find, but I knew it wasn't in the south. Something, something strong, pulled me to the north.

Some time went by before I let myself think of what had happened. I felt furious every time I thought of Victoria and her meaninglessly hateful eyes. Not meaninglessly. She did have a reason to be angry at me, to hate me. I had seen the affection she held for James, and since James was nice to me, it was natural for her to react that way. Still, in my human life I had never seen anyone react like that. But then I thought about how everything was so much stronger in this life, every feeling, every emotion, every sense.

Many days passed by, and I ran all the time, only stopping to hunt. I ran over my former life, my human life, trying to remember everything, but I realized now that there already was many things that seemed too blurry for me to really remember. In some of my memories, Renée seemed unclear, and Charlie was even worse. It was a long time since I'd seen him. I wished I'd spent more time with him, and I knew that in the end, I would have been happy about my choice concerning Forks.

Then the craziest and most appealing idea occurred to me: I could go to Forks. I could see Charlie. I could go to the two-stairs house, just see him once, then I would go on, leave, forever. I could see how he was doing. I might even get to know something about my own disappearing, how it looked to human eyes.

But I wouldn't. It would be too hard to go there, I might reveal myself to him, and Victoria had said it was the rules that we shouldn't. But then again, Victoria had proven to be a rotten person for me to trust.

And then my mind snapped into order, deciding my next destination.

It was night when I arrived at the border of Forks. I came from the south-east, through the woods. I could smell something, a piercing, brain-hacking smell, that stank as if its plan was to make me run off. It didn't have to, though. I was already on my way.

The house was dark, but it didn't matter to my eyes. I ran to the door and peeked in through a window. Nobody. I looked to my right and saw the window to my room. Stepped in under it and then claimed up.

The window was locked, but that meant little. I did my best not to ruin it entirely, but I was still bad at controlling my strength, and it was pretty obvious to anyone, I would think, that it was a mythical creature that had done this.

I stepped inside, looking around. This was my room. It was mostly empty except for a narrow bed, a closet and a desk. A few books laid on my desk, old books. I walked closer to look at them. I let my hands touch them hesitantly. It was books that I had ruined because I'd read them so much. I recognized _Wuthering Heights_ as one of the books I'd bought again later. I picked it up and flipped through it, noticing that there were marks many places, rips in the pages and that the front didn't hang on too well. Still, it was mine, and I could smell it. I felt something strike through me. This was my old sent, my human sent. I remembered the taste of my blood and put something together in my head: I had been appetizing. Elias and the 'coward' had been fighting over me.

My hands clawed together, and I felt the book start to crumple in my hand, so I quickly let go of it, and it hit the floor. I shook for a few minutes while I breathed heavily, trying to concentrate on what mattered. I looked at the floor and picked the book up again, quickly moving to the closet. I opened it and found a little bag. I put _Wuthering Heights_ in it and picked more books from the desk. Then I packed some clothes, zipped the bag closed, then rested it on my shoulders as it was supposed to. I hesitantly began to walk toward the door, but I knew Charlie wasn't there. I couldn't hear him anywhere in the house. Yet, this was so weird, to be a stranger in my own home. In my dad's home, anyway.

I peeked into my dad's room, pulling in the scent. Charlie was appetizing, too, but not as much. That was good. Then he'd might have a shot at surviving. I growled and went down the stairs, looking around. Then it caught my eyes: the red light at the phone. Messages.

It took me less than a second to reach it and push the button – maybe a bit too hard, but I didn't care.

"You have four messages," the voice announced and I prepared to listen.

The first was from Renée, and I quickly figured that Charlie had already heard this one: "_Charlie! I called 911 already. It's so terrible! She's gone, Charlie! We can't find Bella anywhere! We've been looking all night, and the police says that there's no clue to where she might be. Charlie, we need you here, please come –"_

I stopped it. I didn't have the guts to hear it out.

The next two was also from Renée, so I jumped them over, too. The last one was surprising, though.

"_Charlie, I hope you get this before you leave. I just want you to know how sorry I am about hearing what happened to Bella. We feel awful. Rachel sais that she can't comprehend it at all. I hope you'll feel better soon. See ya, Charlie._"

I looked at the number, and as one of the only things from my past life, I remembered this clearly. This was Billy Black, Charlie's good friend, I had played with his daughters when I used to come visit. Maybe I could find out more at La Push.

I looked around and realized that this would be the last time I'd see this house. I didn't want to linger there, so I hurried on south.

It took no more than ten minutes to get to La Push. I felt cautious as I came closer, not feeling entirely sure when I noticed that the strange smell was more pronounced here. I hesitated, feeling some kind of border separate Forks and La Push, a line drawn by this smell. Still, I felt urgent to find out more about my own disappearing and how Charlie was taking it.

I ran into the stinky ground, into the forest.

Light shone from the house, and I smiled, happy that something, as least, was somewhat normal. I sneaked nearer the house, peeking in the window. I looked from one end of the room to another. A couch, a TV, regular living-room stuff. Just as I remembered it. Warm-looking. Home. Embracing. I smiled a bit before hearing some scratchy sound move into the room. It was Billy. I was surprised to see him in a wheelchair, thinking of what a strong man he'd always been. I tried to listen at the house, tried to find the girls, but they weren't there. Another heartbeat was there, though. I remembered little Jacob Black. We'd played together once or twice. I could have sworn, if my heart could beat, it would have beaten faster.

I was suddenly aware of something coming. Clawing its way towards me, ripping up dirt. My brain was an alarm ringing, and I jumped to my feet and ran off, knowing I wouldn't get a chance to get back.

Something snarled behind me. I could hear something that reminded me of paws. Like a wolf. But it was too fast. I looked behind and hit through several trees, knocking them to the ground, not feeling hurt at all. Shoot, it was a wolf. A very big one of the kind.

I sped up, and it fell behind. I laughed bell-like and grinned. I was strong and fast and going to survive whatever was hunting me.

Suddenly filled with self-righteousness, I yelled: "What's wrong, pup? You can't keep up?"

It snarled and tried to catch up with me, but it couldn't. I soon outran it, but I didn't stop. I had a feeling it would be dangerous if it came to a fight. So I kept on going, away from the wolfy thing. The smell disappeared soon, and it occurred to me that it might be that wolf that smelled so bad.

It was not just cloudy. It was what I had always loathed the most of all. It was snowy. I had never really seen snow before, and I stared as if it was the most magnificent wonder of the world. As a human, I wouldn't have thought so, but as vampire, it was good. This meant that I could be out during the day.

And I decided to visit some humans.

I was an Canada, near some city. I still didn't keep track on where I was as I would probably remember the smells if I ever came by again, and on the other side – why should I? I didn't have an acute place to go, so it made no sense to me.

I approached hesitantly, not sure if people would notice my eyes. I decided to get some sunglasses as quickly as possible.

I went to the police station. I wanted so badly to know what was going on, and I hated peeking through windows. I let my eyes run over the posters that were hung up. I froze in place, stopped breathing all together and bit my teeth harshly together. It was a poster of me. Or not me. The human me. The old me. The one I could never become again.

I would have cried if I could. "Stupid eyes," I whispered, probably too low for anyone to hear it but as if it was a hiss. "Stupid Elias, stupid 'coward'!"

"Miss?" a man asked behind me, but I ignored him and kept looking at the poster. It was a picture of me, a description of how tall I was, what I'd been wearing and where I'd last been seen, and at the end a plead of finding me. But I could never be found again. I wasn't that girl anymore. I wasn't Isabella Swan. I was Bella. Just Bella.

I turned around, feeling my hands clutch together and shake with anger, and then went out of the station, out of the city, out on the highway, away from everyone and everything. I succumbed to the snow.

I didn't care about my surroundings, I didn't care what I did. I ran in the forest, not knowing where I ran, only that it was north. I didn't know what I was becoming, for how could I know that, when I had no idea what I was? I hunted when I felt like it, then ran. There was nothing else. Nothing else but coldness.

I didn't have a life anymore. Where should I go? I knew no one! Victoria hated me, and I was dead scared of what she and James and Laurent were doing to humans. There was no place for me to go. I was lost. Absolutely lost. And what misery my parents must be in, not knowing what had happened to their only daughter. She could have been kidnapped – which was pretty much true – or killed, or things that was even worse, things I did not want to imagine but that kept popping into my head anyway.

I came across a cliff then, and I got the idea. I would jump off it. I would at least try to free myself and the world of my uncontrolled destiny. I climbed up to the top and took a deep, steadying breathe. I stepped to the edge, looking down. I strangely enough did not feel fear of any kind. I looked at my feet. A splash of water was there, and I looked, just to see myself and the monster that I was.

But I didn't see the woman I expected. The eyes weren't crimson red; they were red, all right, but they were more orange than before. They were changing. _I_ was changing. Maybe there was hope after all.

I didn't jump. I went down again and stubbornly kept running. I quickly looked upon my wise decision with joy, for I smelled something. A delicious scent that it was some time since I'd smelled. It was vampires, but it wasn't anything like any vampires I'd ever smelled before. Not like Elias, Victoria, James or Laurent. It was better.

I wanted to know who it were – who _they_ were, for there were more. And I would find them and my hope.

I was only half finished with the bear when I heard it. Running. Running that could only come from a vampire. I straightened up and cleaned myself as thorough as possible. I wouldn't run. I would meet this head-on.

A hesitant figure became visible between the trees and soon came closer. It was a pale woman with curly, strawberry-blonde hair, but that was not what I was looking at. It was her eyes. They were golden.

"Who are you?" I whispered.

She looked at me with wide eyes. "My name is Tanya," she answered then, after a while. "Who are you?"

_One who doesn't know the answer of that question_. "Bella," I answered. "I … I'm new."

Tanya raised one delicate eyebrow. "Your eyes," she noted and pointed.

I felt a frown spread on my face. "Your eyes aren't blood-red, either," I snapped.

She smiled surprisingly, and I felt the sudden rage float away from me as water in a river. "How did you find out?" she asked. "How did you choose to be one of us?"

I stared wide-eyed at her. "Find out? Choose? I was stolen from my home, and dead scared I lay in deep agony while I heard someone fighting beside me!"

She chocked her head to the side. "I didn't mean how you became a vampire. I mean _us_. The vegetarians, the Golden-eyes."

I stared at her, as if it made no sense. But it did. I understood the eye-thing. "You mean my eyes are changing because I'm only drinking animal blood?" I asked, and when she nodded, I felt something flutter in my stomach. I _could_ be something different! It was possible. I laughed in relief. "Oh, I'm so happy!" I gasped between chokes of laughter.

Tanya smiled, too, though she also looked confused. "Why are you happy?" she asked.

I shook my head. "I don't think I can explain, but … Well, it's partly because I've met you. Are there anyone else? Vegetarians? You talk as if there are."

"My family," she answered and pointed behind her, northward. "We're all vegetarians and live together."

"You mean you're a coven?" I asked hesitantly. I'd seen my share of covens and wasn't sure I wanted to meet another.

"Well, some would call it coven, but we're closer, so we call it a family. Would you like to come?" she asked.

A light shone brightly in my brain. Hope. I nodded quickly. "Yes, please, if it isn't too much to ask for. I've been so lost."

"Come with me," she laughed and waved.

It was a huge house, and I stared, frozen in place. It was made in dark wood and was equipped with a second floor. It was beautiful. I had never before used the description about a house, but this was.

"Wow," I breathed, and Tanya chuckled at my side.

"Come, I'll introduce you!" she said eagerly, and I ran after her to the front door. I suddenly felt shy, cautious about this meeting. When Victoria dragged me to meet James and Laurent, I had felt shy, but not like this. This was important. I could get a place to attach this new world to, but if I screwed things up here, I would be lost again, and I wasn't sure if I could do that.

She led me inside into a bright hall. I looked around. A chandelier hang from the ceiling, made in glass. It was bright, and there were many windows. The house was placed on a hill, and the view was breathe-taking – if there was a breathe it could take.

Then I heard someone approach from behind me, and I slowly turned. A woman with straight, blonde hair and golden eyes were in front. She looked at me with curious eyes and the hint of a smile on her fine lips. Behind her was a woman with black hair, and beside her a man with just as black hair. They held each other's hands, and I saw their relationship in an instant. It was hard to miss, really. It was as if there was invisible chains made of metal between them, but they were still recognizable. They, too, had golden eyes.

"Tanya?" the man said and looked at her. "Could you do us the honor of introducing us to your friend?"

I felt a tickle run down my spine at his words, but I tried not to lay too much in them.

"Yes," Tanya said, nodding, and turned to me. "This is Bella. She's new at this life, as well as to the vampire life. Bella, this is Eleazar and Carmen," she pointed to the man and then his companioned woman, "Irina isn't here right now, and that's Kate." The blonde one smiled at me and reached for me with her hand. I hesitantly shook it, but she didn't smile then. She frowned and looked sharply at Tanya.

"What?" I asked.

"What's wrong with her?" Kate asked Tanya.

Instead of answering, Tanya growled: "That's not inappropriate behavior, Kate!"

"I know, I know," Kate scowled and looked at me with unfathomable eyes, as if I was a mystery that needed to be solved.

I looked at Tanya, trying to tricked an explanation out of her.

"Some vampires have … Special powers," Tanya said. "We all become stronger, more beautiful and quicker when we turn into vampires. But some have more powers. A friend of ours, also a vegetarian, but he and his family lives farther south, thinks that we pull our very strongest benefits into our new life and makes it stronger. Kate has a … Gift." She send Kate a fierce look. "She can cover part of her skin with electronic waves. The part she can cover is her hand. The one you just shook."

I turned to look at Kate, not quite understanding what had just happened. Kate grinned. "Don't hate me," she pleaded. "I just wanted to play a trig with you."

I shook my head. "I don't hate you," I answered. Then I smiled. "But you didn't get me!"

She frowned. "Exactly. But why?"

Eleazar stepped forth now. "I can't feel it," he said.

"Excellent," Kate growled.

Tanya leaned to me. "Eleazar can feel other vampire's extra-powers or what powers a human might have if it became a vampire."

"But I can't feel you," Eleazar mumbled. "And it's not like with Tanya and Carman," he continued, waving at them. "It's different." He stepped closer to me and cocked his head to the side. "I think she's a shield."

"A shield?" Carmen asked, speaking for the first time.

Eleazar nodded. "Not a physical shield, but a mental one. I'd bet she isn't touchable by a lot of vampire abilities."

"Or maybe all," Tanya suggested.

"Wait," I breathed. "If it's mental, what about Kate's ability? That's physical."

"No," Eleazar said, shaking his head with a faint smile. "She makes you _think_ you feel something, but you don't."

"Oh," I murmured, looking into the empty air in front of me.

Tanya touched my shoulder, and I immediately stepped away, imagining my heart might start beating again. It didn't. And I hated myself. Tanya was only trying to be friendly.

She didn't seem insulted, and she smiled apologetic at me, as if _she_ was the one who had something to be sorry for.

"You must be very confused right now. Did anyone help you? In the beginning?" she asked.

I shook my head. "One of my creators stayed with me while I … Burned," I flinched, "but I didn't get everything he said. The pain was too … Sharp."

She nodded. "Don't worry. We'll help you."

I stared at her with wide eyes. I saw Kate nod with an even bigger smile. "Yes. You can stay here as long as you want to. And then I can find out how to sneak around your gift!"

I felt high, and I grinned at her. "You wish!" I laughed.

"I _will_ find it," she stated, nodding. "If it's there, I'll find it."

"What if it's not?" I asked, crossing my arms.

She just shrugged. "Do you think it's flexible?" she then continued.

"What?" I asked blankly.

"Flexible. Like my power. I've been practicing for years. In the beginning, I could only use my finger to chock people. Now it's my whole hand. Do you think you can do the same with your shield? Expend and back pull it?"

"I didn't know I had a power until just now, and even if I did know the answers to your questions, I can't imagine a time where it would be a good idea to back pull my shield. But it could be nice if I was capable of expending it." I thought about it, suddenly pleased with my gift. It was a part of me in some strange way. It had always been with me – if my new friends friend was right, and I had pulled it from my former life. I hoped he was right.

"Maybe I could try to teach you," Kate suggested.

I smiled and nodded. "Yes, I would like that. Thank you."

She shrugged, still smiling.

I turned to Tanya. "Who was this friend of yours who said that it was abilities from our former life, we took with us into the new?"

Tanya smiled. "He's the leader of a family that we look at as expended family. We tried to live together as one family once, but the humans noticed it too much." She laughed. "His name is Carlisle Cullen."

I felt curiosity shoot up in me. "You must tell me everything! Not only about your expended family, but also about the humans! Why aren't they allowed to find out? I once asked a member of the coven I was with for a short time, but she just answered that it was the rule."

I sort of noticed that Eleazar was staring at me with open mouth. Carmen stepped to his side and closed his mouth with a wry smile. Then she looked at me. "There is so much you don't know about. We must tell you everything. It is important."

"Also because it's interesting and we want you to know," Kate mumbled, leaning toward me. I laughed, happy to be accepter so swiftly and easily.

Kate took my hand and pulled me into a new room. There was a comfortable-looking couch that she pulled me into. Tanya sat down in a chair, while Carman sat down on the other side of me. Eleazar leaned up at the couch behind us.

"I think we should start with the rules," Eleazar suggested, looking sharply at the others, then softly at me, as if I was some child that had done something bad without knowing.

"Of course," Tanya agreed. "That's where it all begins." Hurt touched her face, and she looked away. I almost expected her to cry, but then I remembered that she couldn't.

"The rules are simple," Carmen said. "There's only two, but they're extraordinarily important to keep track to! The first is that humans must not know of us."

"But who creates these rules?" I asked. "Some … Vampire king?" Though being a mythical creature was strange, it was even stranger to think of there being some king out there, somewhere, ruling everyone.

"I was getting at that part," Carmen answered seriously. "The Volturi is kind of a royal family to us. They live in Italy."

"Elias mentioned them!" I whispered.

She nodded. "The actual family is; Aro, Caius, Marcus and their wives. You should think that no one would take orders from them, being the creatures we are. But they all have gifts. And then there's their closest guards, and the rest of the guard. They're many. And they're frightening. They only have the best." I saw her glance at Eleazar, and I glanced with her. "Eleazar once was with them. He was useful to them because of his talent, as you can imagine when they only want the very best. He left when he met me." She smiled thankfully at him, and she took his hand.

"Did they do anything?" I asked. They sounded sort of like bullies.

"No," Eleazar said, looking into my eyes. "They might only want the very best, but they only want people who are devoted to their job. As soon as I met Carmen, that devotion disappeared."

I nodded, feeling some fear I hadn't noticed lift from my shoulders.

"We wasn't always only us," Tanya then suddenly whispered, and I looked at her with questioning eyes. "We had a mother. Our creator. Like Carlisle is the Cullen's."

"What happened to her?" I asked, knowing that it wouldn't be a happy story.

"Years back, many vampires got the idea to turn children into vampires," Kate said. "But the children were too young to learn the rules. The Volturi decided that they must be taken out. But the people around the children had such great devotion toward the kids, they wouldn't let them. It's one of the greatest blood-baths in our history." I was surprised at hearing the vampires had _history_, but I didn't interrupt. "When it was finally over, the Volturi made it forbidden to create any more undead children. But our mother did. Secretly. We didn't know." Kate stopped, not seeming capable of continuing.

"When the Volturi found out, they came for us," Carmen whispered. "When they realized that Irina, Tanya, Kate and I had no idea what had been going on, they spared us. But not our mother. Not the child." She hid her face in her hand.

"That's …" I trailed off. There was no words for that.

Tanya looked up with a weak smile. "Don't be too terrified. Our mother did a mistake, that's why they did it. But it still hurts. Not only because we miss her, but also, while we are also grateful for what she did, that she kept the child secret to us."

I nodded and looked down at my hands.

"Then you asked about Carlisle," Carmen said.

"Yes," I whispered and looked up.

"Carlisle's story is long and complicated. He's about three hundred years old, and he's absolutely untouched by the scent of humans. Ever since he turned into a vampire, he's been fighting the bloodlust. Now he's a doctor for humans."

My eyes wided. "That's … Amazing," I whispered.

Carmen nodded.

"He was born in England, and he lived alone for many years. He actually spent some time with the Volturi, but they were very different, constantly trying to convert the other one. Even though they became friends, Carlisle moved to the New world," Tanya said and smiled, "where he soon found family. The first one he turned into a vampire was Edward." She stopped and looked dreamingly into the air. I laughed to bring her back to the present. She smiled sheepishly. "Anyway. Soon after, he created Esme. They're together, those two. Later Rosalie joined the family, and then Emmett. Even though they're not the last members of the family, they're the last ones Carlisle created. Jasper and Alice joined the group, but they came from somewhere else. None of us know where Alice came from – not even her. She doesn't remember anything from being human. Jasper came from the south."

I thought about the short summary of Carlisle's and the other Cullen's life-story, and thought to myself I would have to get the entire story some time. But right now I was too eager to hear more, and they could feel that.

"The Cullens live among humans?" I asked.

Carmen nodded. "Yes. They move from town to town, sometimes they come to live here for a while, because we never change age, and humans sort of notice that when they've been living with them for some years."

Though no one had said directly that we lived forever, I had figured it out on my own, but hearing it said out loud made a shiver run down my spine, and I gritted my teeth.

"It's a while since they last time came and visited us, so you may get to meet them soon," Kate said.

"What about Irina?" I asked.

"She'll be back in a few days," Tanya answered. "Now, why don't you tell us your story?"

I wanted them to trust me, so I went into details with everything – I felt like I owed them, especially after they told me the story about their mother. When I was finished, they were silent.

"I know you're young, so you couldn't know it, but …" Tanya hesitated, then sighed. "It wasn't smart to join James' coven."

I nodded. "I know. I should have known what would happen between me and Victoria. Somewhere I did, but I felt so lost."

Kate rubbed my shoulders while Tanya nodded. "What I meant was that it wasn't smart to join such a larch coven."

I stared at her. "It wasn't large. And this family is much bigger!"

"Yes, but we're family. Not just someone who find together for the benefit. We're together because we love each other. Because of the nature of our kind, it's dangerous to stay together so many."

"That's something I've noticed. Victoria, James and Laurent needed to feed much more than I did, and they had a harder time controlling their temper," I said.

"That's because they're addicted to the blood. Jasper from the Cullen family is having a rough time about that, too. But we're more in control." She smiled. "Carlisle thinks that's why we can live together with peace even though we're so many."

"But the Volturi … Didn't you say they kill humans?" I asked puzzled.

"Yes, but they're the exception. Remember, they're devoted to their job, and then there's one of them who can manipulate with peoples relationships with each other and make it easier for them to be together," Carmen said.

"Why didn't they just do that with you and Eleazar?" I asked then. "If they wanted to keep him."

"Because the kind of attachment we share isn't just changed like that," Eleazar answered. I nodded, relieved. I didn't like the thought of someone being capable of manipulating with other's feelings.

"Do any of the Cullens have special gifts?" I asked.

Tanya nodded. "Yes. Alice can see the future." I gasped.

"That's cool!" I stated.

Kate laughed. "Yes, it is, but it changes. She can only see the future as long as it's set. If she wants to see my future, and she sees that I'm going to do something, but then I change my mind, then the future changes. It's not set in stone," she told me.

"That's kinda nice," I said.

"It is," Kate grinned.

"Jasper can make people's mood change. Not their thoughts, but he can calm people down," Tanya continued. I felt my eyes grow black. I didn't like the sound of that. "And Edward can read thoughts."

I gritted my teeth. "That's not fair! To read someone's thoughts is just … Absurd! I'm not sure I want to meet him at all! I don't want to meet someone who knows what I'm going to say."

They all laughed, and I sunk into the couch.

"Edward is really polite," Tanya promised, her eyes like diamonds. "It's not that bad, not when you get used to it."

I grumbled and crossed my arms.

"Besides, I think your shield may protect you," Eleazar said.

I felt my face light up. "Really?"

They laughed again, but I didn't feel as bad as before. I looked around. My new friends. My new family.


	5. Chapter 5

Very short chapter, but it wasn't needed any longer. I have now decided to write the next chapter from Edwards pov. And it's going to be interesting to write – and funny, because Edward is Edward, and of course he'll react as our beloved Edward will do :P

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PHONE CALL

"Auv!" Tanya screamed for the twentieth time, and I rested my forehead in my hands.

"Tanya, I'm so, so sorry!" I cried.

"She can take it," Kate snorted. "It wasn't even strong!"

"Kate, I don't want to do this, it's –"

"Bella, I'm all right," Tanya sighed, and I peeked up at her. "I told you I'd help you practice your gift, and I'm by all that's good in this world going to do it!"

"See? I told you she could take it," Kate mumbled. I grimaced and took Tanya's hand again, gasping in a steadying breathe. Kate was going to shock Tanya, and I should try to prevent it, but I wasn't sure how to do it. I had sometimes succeeding in making the pain less pronounced, but I couldn't protect Tanya entirely. It left me teeth-gritting. I wanted to be able to protect them, those who now meant everything to me.

"Watch out, Kate, or you might get shocked yourself," Tanya snapped at Kate. I smiled. I had learned that they often tease-fought, as sisters truly did.

"Oh, really? I bet you couldn't take me even if my hands were bound!" Kate gave back at her.

"If your hands were bound you would just crush whatever was holding them!"

"Bella, look out, they'll be going on for a while," Carmen called from behind me, and I looked back to grin at her. We sat outside in the sun, all shining-like, and I was enjoying my new life for the first time. These vampires were worth what I had been through. They made me think anything could happen.

I lay back on the ground and looked at the sky and the little hole in the clouds, from which the sun came from. Kate and Tanya were still arguing, but in the many weeks I'd been there I had grown attached to the experience. If I left, I would miss it. My lips turned downward at the thought of leaving. I felt more at home here than I had anywhere else – even in my human life. The Denali Clan – as they called themselves – understood me, and I understood them. Every vampire in the world had given something up becoming what we were.

Tanya and Kate were rolling cheerfully around in the snow, and I looked up to watch them. Both Carmen and I burst into laughter at the sight of them. They might as well have been kids.

In the distance, I heard something inside the house. It was the phone. It didn't often ring, I had only heard it once or twice. I didn't think more about it. Carmen and I were betting on who was going to win.

"Hey, all!" Eleazar suddenly called from inside. "Come quickly!"

Tanya and Kate stopped in an instant, and Carmen was already up. I hesitantly stood as they walked in, but I hurried after Tanya waved at me.

"What's wrong?" Carmen asked as she flew to his side. He wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Everything's perfect!" he answered and pointed to the phone. "Alice wants to talk."

"Yay!" Kate exclaimed and took the phone. "Hi Alice!"

I couldn't hear the exact words, nor the voice very clearly, but it was beautiful. Suddenly, Kate shot a glance at me, then she grinned. "Yes, she's here, and she is. Her name is Bella. I'm actually surprised you haven't contacted us until now. She's been here for a while. It's not like you to leave a mystery unsolved. If you knew it, why didn't you call? Oh. I see. Well, of course, Alice! You're always welcome here, you know that! Good. Say hi to the others." She grinned and shot Tanya a teasing look. "Especially Edward."

Tanya scowled at her when Kate pressed the red button.

"What happened?" Carmen asked.

"Do you want me to give you all the details?" Kate asked.

"Yes," Carmen answered, rolling her eyes.

"Okay, so I said 'Hi Alice' and then she said 'Hi Kate'. Then she said: 'I've seen a girl staying with you for some time now, and the future is becoming more and more firm concerning her. As if she's part of the family now.'" She smiled at me, and I smiled shyly back. "Then I said: 'Yes, she's here, and she is. Her name is Bella. I'm actually surprised you haven't contacted us until now. She's been here for a while. It's not like you to leave a mystery unsolved. If you knew, why didn't you call?' Then Alice said: 'I wasn't sure if she was just a random friend, but now I see that she's more than that. That's why I've waited to contact you now'. 'Oh. I see,' I said. Then she said: 'Can we come visit you? I want to meet her!' 'Well, of course, Alice! You're always welcome here, you know that,' I answered. 'We'll be there soon,' she said. 'Good. Say hi to the others. Especially Edward'. Then she said: 'Shall do,' and that's it."

We all stared at her as if she'd missed something very important.

"What?" she asked.

"A summary would have done fine," Tanya answered bleakly.

"That _was_ a summary!" Kate snapped.

Tanya slammed her hand to her forehead and rolled her eyes. "Hopeless," she muttered, and I smiled.

"So the Cullens are coming?" Carmen asked with a smile. "That's good news!"

"And to look at the latest addition to our family!" Kate added and pointed at me.

I looked at the ground. "I'm not sure that I have the right to be called –"

"Of course you do, Bella," Tanya cut me off and lay her arm comfortingly around my shoulders. "You're our sister now. What, were you just going to leave us?"

"No, but –"

"But nothing. The Cullens are coming, and you can meet the rest of our family. Be happy. We are."

"I am happy," I answered and looked down. "But I'm also terrified."


	6. Chapter 6

This is the sixth chapter, and it's from Edward's pov. YAY! *happy dance* The next chapter will be Bella again, and in the end of this chapter, there'll be a little sneak preview, since this is something you've been looking forward to. And then because I'm sort of an evil person and have to bring you all into agony by spoiling some things xD But it'll probably be posted later today, hopefully.

Anyhow, I am VERY, VERY SORRY for all the mistakes. I mean, seriously, who writes the word widened like wided? I know, I know, the moron who wrote it – me "-.- But my English is kinda down lately, and I'm pissed at myself. Please don't kill me *_*

Thanks for your reviews. Please enjoy : )

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE NEW DENALI GIRL

"Aw, Edward, you're no fun!" Emmett sighed after he'd tried to trick me into a wrestling fight for the fifth time.

"Or you're just magnificently stupid. If I won't fight the first time, I probably won't the next thousand times you ask," I suggested.

"At least I can count. It was four."

"I meant it hypothetically," I sighed.

"Okay, hypothetically, four."

I rubbed my nose-brig. I wasn't in the mood for Emmett's games right now – which was probably why he was in such a mood for playing them.

"Besides, it never hurts to try," he stated.

"It hurts deep down in my soul," I answered sarcastically.

"What soul?"

I growled. I was in my very blackest mood today, and it was all circling about Alice's visions. When we'd left to hunt, she had decided to call the Denali Clan, and I was eager to find out who this girl was. I'd seen her in Alice's thoughts – the girl with the orange eyes and dark hair. She was beautiful – I rarely consciously used the word about anyone anymore, because in my world, it was naturally for people to be beautiful. It happened now and then, though, that I thought it about a human because it was more rare for them to have abnormal beauty, but even that wasn't often as I saw no reason to meander at them.

But this girl was beautiful. And her eyes and her mouth had such strange shapes, as if she had already experienced too much as a newborn.

I was also curious to find out what the others would say. Only Alice and I had known about the girl – we hadn't had a reason to tell the others, but now she was becoming more and more constant, so we would tell the others. If this girl was an addition to the family, everyone ought to know.

Jasper would probably say that we should be careful about her, because she was a newborn. Emmett would be eager to meet her to see if she would be more fun than the rest of us. Rosalie would want to know if she was prettier than her. Alice never let a mystery pass if she could avoid it. Esme would want to know about her because she'd be truly concerned about her well-being. And Carlisle was always devoted to the family and to finding out more about stuff. He would want to know the girls story.

But I wasn't sure about myself. What interest did I have in this new Denali girl? I wasn't even sure I wanted to find out about her. But Esme would be unhappy if I purely denied to have anything to do with her, and Carlisle would be disappointed.

_Edward, hurry!_ I heard Alice think, and I sped up. I heard Emmett's curious thoughts in the background, but I ignored them.

_I've told them about her. Emmett is the last one._ She waited a few seconds, then her impatience took over her thoughts, and she was looking forward to see when we would come.

_Thirty seconds …_

I searched in her thoughts after some track of the phone call she'd had with the Denali Clan, but I saw nothing, only her impatience and cry for us to come home. Quickly.

_Twenty seconds …_

If the girl was part of the Denali Clan now, why hadn't they contacted us? I wondered how that could be, but then I figured they might have been too preoccupied with their newest member to fit in.

_Ten seconds …_

"Come on, Emmett!"

"Why are we in such a hurry?" he asked without a clue.

"You'll see. Just come on!"

_Finally!_

The house came into sight, and we ran right up to the back door, into the kitchen. The others were gathered – we used the kitchen as sort of a conference room.

"Finally!" Alice sighed, repeating her thoughts. "I was beginning to think you'd never come."

"Of course you were," I snorted as I sat down beside Carlisle.

Alice stuck her tongue out at me and turned to Emmett, whom she quickly explained the situation to.

"If you knew she was there, why didn't you tell us right away?" Emmett asked.

"It didn't seem important at the moment," Alice answered, shrugging with her little shoulders. "Now it does. She's staying there. So she's family. I called them, and Kate said we could come. Her name is Bella."

I picked the name out one second before she said it. It was as if she was consciously keeping information from me. I couldn't imagine why, and it made me frustrated, as it always did those so very few times that I couldn't figure out someone's mind.

"Just Bella?" Emmett asked.

"If she was named something else, don't you think I would tell you?" Alice mumbled irritated.

"Alice, go on," Carlisle requested quietly,

She nodded and straightened up. I was curious about her thoughts at the moment and where they were leading. She'd just had a vision.

"She's very shy, it seems, and if we all just come bumping, she'll be very … Scared. It seems she's been through some stuff." Alice looked at me and then grinned. "By the way, I should say hi from Kate, especially to you, Edward."

I sighed. It wasn't as annoying as it was agonizing that Tanya had too fond feelings about me. I didn't like that she was in pain. I liked her, just not like that. She was family, a sister. Like Rosalie and Alice.

"So what do we do?" Esme asked.

"I think we should split up and come in teams," Alice answered. Before anyone could react, even me, who saw her plans before she said all this, she reached her hand in the air. "I'll be on the first team!"

"Why?" Emmett asked grudgingly.

"Because you're going on team two, that's why," Alice snorted.

Emmett stood. "I think we're going to have to be two about deciding that."

"Actually," I cut in, reading Jasper's thoughts, "it's something we should all decide." I shot Alice a sharp glance, and she stuck her tongue out again. Emmett was just up for a fight, but he knew from my interference that this wasn't the time. He didn't care if he met this Bella sooner or later, as long as he met her, and then he would make her life miserable as long as he was there.

"Carlisle and Esme is on the first team, naturally," I continued. "And if it means so much to you, Alice, you and Jasper can go, too. It'll probably be a good idea for Jasper to be there, anyway, so that he can calm her. Then Rosalie, Emmett and I will stay behind a few days."

Alice nodded eagerly. "Yes! I think that's the plan!"

Carlisle looked proudly at me, and I couldn't help feeling smug. "Fine. We'll do that. When should we go?"

Esme stopped Alice before she could answer. "_Not_ this instant! Let's wait a little while. Let the girl prepare herself for our arrival. I'm sure she's nervous."

"Fine," Alice grumbled. Jasper smiled at her and took her hand to rub it. I blogged their thoughts as well as I could. This was a private moment for them.

"Then it's settled," Carlisle said. "We'll go the day after tomorrow."

"Great movie," Emmett mumbled.

"You want to talk with me," I stated as I walked into Carlisle's office. He looked up and smiled while he nodded. I could already read the hint of what kind of talk this was going to be, and I felt more like walking out of the room without a back glance. But he was my father, and I could never bring myself to actually doing it. But the thought was deceiving.

"Edward, I know you don't want me to pick this out to you, but you know how we all hate seeing you alone – of course you do! So I have to do it. For your own good."

"Carlisle, I know you worry, but it's unnecessary. This girl will just be another addition to the family."

"Edward, at least give it a try."

"Carlisle, if it happens, it happens."

"Fine, Edward, but please, I hate seeing you alone."

"I'm doing fine," I sighed. The truth was that it hurt a bit to see the happiness the others felt when they were together, but I was happy _enough_. And that was all I really needed.

"Fine," Carlisle said and looked seriously at me. "But don't let an opportunity pass you by."

"I promise," I answered, and I would try to keep that promise.

"You seem unusually down key, even for you," Rosalie stated as I walked into the garage. I sighed and sat down besides her on the ground. She was somewhere under the car. I didn't listen to the part of her thoughts that were focused on it.

"I'm not sure why," I answered.

"I know," she said.

"Why?" I asked, grinning at her response.

_Because you've already seen her, and she's not prettier than me_.

"Always the polite one."

_I'm just thinking the truth._

"Of course you are," I mumbled and laid down on the ground and closed my eyes. One of my favorite things to do besides playing the piano was being with Rosalie in the garage. We fit perfectly when we were there together.

_Who do you think she is?_

"Oh, now you think about something else but her looks?" I asked, acting surprised. I wasn't, though, Rosalie wasn't just shallow. She had a deep side, too.

_Shut up and answer._

"I think she's Bella, a girl that ended up in terrible situation and became a creature she never before believed in, and now hates."

_You're cheery_.

"Just boost the car."

_Shall do._

"Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry!" Alice sang hysterically as she ran from one end of the house to another. I could read the static in her thoughts, and I sighed. She was driving everyone crazy with her Bella-nonsense. That was all she'd been talking about lately. I was the only one who knew exactly why – well, maybe she'd told Jasper, too.

Alice already saw something between her and Bella, a strong bond, a friendship that was so much more. Like sisters. She longed for the love they would share, even though her visions could not vividly show her what there was to miss. But she still longed for it, and she was more hyper than a five-year-old.

"Alice, take it easy," I said while my hands flew over the keys on the piano. She turned to glare at me.

"You're just jealous!" she spat. "You want to meet her, too!"

I shrugged. "It doesn't really matter, though, does it? You have a friend to expect. I don't have anything to expect, so I don't miss anything by staying behind a few hours."

"You're such a martyr," she growled.

"I can't be a martyr if I don't sacrifice anything."

"But you do! You miss time with Bella!" she sang, and her eyes were like stars as she mentioned the name. "She's so sweet and caring and lovable, everything you need in a friend plus so much more!"

"How can you know?" I asked.

She grimaced at me. "I'm the psychic, aint I? Besides, I do think you sacrifice something."

"What do you mean?"

"Try right now to decide to go in my place, feel it, be determined to."

I understood that she would show me what would happen if I gone, so I tried to make myself, but I couldn't. She growled. "It's not settled! Are you even planning to go?"

"I can't see the fuss."

"Just go, Edward. Or I'll have Jasper –"

"Okay, okay," I grumbled and tried again, harder.

_Aaah, that's better. Try and take a look at this!_

I was already looking. I sat with the dark-haired Bella in front of the Denali house. We weren't talking, but I could see that it wasn't an awkward or angry silence, just peaceful.

_You're going to get along great!_ Alice stated in her thoughts.

"You sound like Carlisle."

"Carlisle's smart."

"Alice, are you ready?" Esme asked, and Alice danced away. I didn't listen to what they said or did. I was lost in thoughts. I looked at the picture in my head again. It was as if there was something that held me in that picture, not only when I looked at it, but the Edward in the picture wasn't going to leave. I didn't like the look of it. I wouldn't let whatever the cause happen.

In the same moment, Alice snarled under her breathe as the vision vanished in her head.

Omg, I really enjoyed writing this! I'll probably write a few chapters more from Edwards pov. It was simply so funny!

Again, thanks for reviews. One of you reminded me to do something funny for this chapter, let Alice look into the future.

And now: The sneak preview! Yayes xD

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I felt shock, fear and wonder run down my spine as I looked upon the man who had such a strong pose that he could only be their leader. He looked like an angel with his golden hair and light skin and the eyes that glimmered like the sun. This was the creator of the Cullens. This was Carlisle.


	7. Chapter 7

Guys, I'm SO sorry for the last chapter, it was set up very badly, not showing when scenes shifted. I promise I will improve.

Thank you for reviews. Enjoy :)

VISITORS

Irina had finally returned – much later than originally meant. She'd fallen in love with Paris and stayed a while longer. But now she was home. She seemed a confident person, and I liked her from the very beginning, as it seemed she liked me. She was also kind of stubborn, but in a different way than I.

She was happy when she heard the Cullens were coming for a visit. "When?" she asked excitedly.

"In a couple of days," Kate answered, and I felt fearsome again. I was self-conscious about the whole thing. What if they didn't like me? Would my new family kick me out? I knew it was unthankfully of me to think such horrible things about my sisters and my brother – as I already thought of them as – but I couldn't help it. As much as I loved them, and as much as I hoped they might love me, they would love them more, and if the Cullens didn't like me, I would get the kick.

I didn't tell anyone about my fears, though I thought Tanya might have an eye out for me. She saw so much. She was like an elder sister, and I was thankful to her.

I used the time to practice my shield. I was beginning to feel it, it was like an extension of myself, just around my body, strongest around my head – my brain. It was like, in my head, it was divided in colors, and I could see the beginning of the shield, just around my body, but I wasn't exactly sure where it ended, so I couldn't control the edges and shape it around others. All I knew was that sometimes I succeeded in preventing some of the pain that hit Tanya.

Kate and I had gone hunting. We often joined each other because we always found something funny to do in the forests. I felt so much at ease with Kate. Like Tanya felt like an older sister, Kate was like a twin. She was calming to be with, and calming was what I needed.

But that day wasn't at all calming. I was actually just beginning to fall down, when Kate stopped abruptly. I ran twenty meters before noticing, then turned and stopped in front of her.

"What's wrong, Kate?" I asked concerned.

She smiled. "Can't you smell it?" she asked.

"Smell what?"

"Come!"

Then she took my hand and ran fifty meters to the northeast, where we hit a smell. I recognized vampires.

"The Cullens are here!" she exclaimed, her entire face like a fire.

"But there's only four," I noted as I smelled the air, the lump in my throat and stomach returning.

"We'll find out about that. Come on!" she answered, and then we ran home.

-

The nervousness filled every part of my body as we reached the house. I was even more nervous than when I first came here. I looked at the house, searching for them, knowing that if they were looking out the window, they'd see me. Already now I could hear laughter in there, but it stopped when we approached, and I felt even more uncomfortable. Kate literally had to drag me up there, and I felt like my head must be green, only I was sure it wasn't. So my face would just be a horrible grimace. Probably better than green.

"Hi!" Kate yelled happily as we walked into the room.

"Sure, call everyone's attention," I mumbled.

"Bella is just a little bit nervous," Kate explained to someone, but I was looking down, feeling more embarrassed as Kate said the words.

"Hello, Bella," a woman's voice said, and it was the most adult voice I had heard for a long time. It made me look up. The woman in the front was surely the one who had spoken. She had caramel-colored hair, and her face was set in such a friendly shape, it made me already ease up. But I was still frightened and nervous, especially because I could feel something lay itself around me and start to calm me down. It was not an uncomfortable experience, just disorienting.

"Good day," I whispered and looked down again.

"Bella," Tanya said from somewhere, and as I peeked out through my hair, I saw her stand beside the woman. "This is Esme."

I couldn't response. I didn't know what to response. Instead I let my eyes wander on to the next one, the one who stood on the other side of Esme.

I felt shock, fear and wonder run down my spine as I looked upon the man who had such a strong pose that he could only be their leader. He looked like an angel with his golden hair, light skin and the eyes that glimmered as if pieces of sun were hidden in there. This was the creator of the Cullens. This was Carlisle.

I straightened, suddenly feeling urgent to show him that I was worthy to be part of his family.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Esme," I said and nodded toward her. Esme's face lit up with a smile, and I couldn't help smiling myself.

"You too, Bella," she answered.

"This is Carlisle," Tanya continued and pointed to him whom I already knew who was.

"I've heard much about you. Of course it's a pleasure," I said to him, feeling proud when he smiled a teeth-exposing smile.

"I'm glad to finally meet you, too." He looked behind at a little girl that looked to be the same age as I. She had black, spiky hair, a little nose and big, golden eyes. "Alice haven't been able to talk about anything but you the last days."

Alice shrugged and danced forward with a grace I hadn't been able to imagine, not even with vampires.

"It's true, I've been eager to meet you, Bella," Alice said with a light, soprano voice, as she continued her dance toward me. To my big surprise, she hugged me in a warm, tight and longing embrace, and I felt even more confused, though also calmed.

I grinned at her when she stepped back. "You're the psychic," I responded.

"Sure am," she answered, grinning back.

I looked to the last figure, a tall, young-looking man with honey-colored hair. He didn't look happy. He approached cautiously. As he came closer, I saw white marks all over his skin, and I wondered what they were. I suddenly remembered the white marks on my throat where I'd been bitten, and I figured it must be scars. But why did he have so many? I felt intimidated by him, like he was danger, and I fought to not step back.

"I'm Jasper," he greeted, and as he said it, I felt the calming air around me again.

"How come I can feel that?" I asked and turned to Eleazar. "I can feel his gift."

All the Cullens looked surprised at me at first, but then they turned to Eleazar for an explanation.

"Bella has a gift as well," Eleazar explained. "She's resistant to Kate, and we think she might have a mental shield." Then he turned to me. "What Jasper does is physical. It's not a trick. He actually _does_ calm you down."

"Oh," I mumbled and turned around again to look at Jasper. As frightened as I was, I also felt curious. "If Jasper's gift is like that, is Edward's also, then?" I asked, and I felt a frown spread on my face at the thought of him reading my thoughts.

I saw some emotion flicker across Alice's face as I mentioned Edward, and I wondered if something had happened to him. I suddenly felt worried. No matter if I liked his gift or not, Edward was family, and I knew I would feel sad if someone from the Cullens were hurt.

"Did something happen to Edward?" I asked without thinking it through. Esme cocked her head to the side, Jasper frowned and Carlisle looked curiously at me. Alice didn't response in any way, as if she was lost on some trail of thought.

"No, nothing happened to Edward," Esme said. As she said it, I heard the love and devotion in her voice, and I realized that she looked at Edward as a son, and that Carlisle did, too. They probably looked at all the others as sons and daughters – also Tanya, Kate, Irina, Carmen and Eleazar. It made me feel like an outsider.

"Why would you think something happened to Edward? Carlisle asked. As he said the name, I noticed the tone and shape of his voice. He was very proud of this Edward.

_Edward was the first one he created,_ I thought to myself.

I shrugged. "Alice just looked like –" I shrugged again. I felt like running away at this whole situation. It was so awkward. I had never been one for meeting new people or being the center of something.

"Hmm," Kate breathed and looked at Carlisle. "I can imagine you're all curious?"

Of course they were. It didn't surprise me when Carlisle agreed that he was, and from the look of the rest of them, I could see that they were, too. I knew it was only fair that I told them my share, since Tanya, Kate and Carmen had told me Carlisle's story and their own, but I still felt awfully self-conscious.

I followed into the living room where I sat down in the couch. The others formed a circle around me. I clutched my hands together, and I felt Jasper's calming gift fill the air around me, and I breathed to steady myself.

"Just tell them what happened. From the beginning," Tanya said and took my hand. I grabbed it fiercely, and she grimaced shortly. I remembered that I was stronger than her and loosened the grip a bit.

In the same moment, Alice sat beside me and looked at me with eager eyes. "Don't be shy," she pleaded and crossed her legs.

The casual way she acted both made me more at ease but also frightened me. Jasper let some more comfortable atmosphere calm me down.

I looked at my hands and gasped in some air. "It began back in Phoenix. My mom was upset because I had decided to go live with my father. She got remarried a while ago, and because he had to move around a lot, she was always unhappy when he was gone, so I thought if I was gone, she could be happy. And then I hadn't seen my father in a long time. I had finally convinced her to let me go, but she was very sad, so I went for a walk." I looked down. "I heard something down one of the streets. Like someone was breathing. I started to go home, but I was too curious, and I hesitated … Then everything disappeared in a blur. It was so cold." My voice was just a whisper. I felt so many eyes pointed at me. It would have made me very uncomfortable if it was not for Jasper. I was grateful for him. "I remember something cold bite my neck, but not for long. Something knocked whatever it was away. I now realize that two vampires were fighting about me." I looked up when Esme gasped, and her eyes were truly filled with horror. I smiled weakly. "After a while they realized that it was too late, and that I was already too far into the process." I gave myself ten seconds to prepare. "It was very painful, and it made it worse that Elias – the one of my creators that stayed – was telling me some very important things, that I was too much in pain to notice fully. I didn't know about the Volturi before I came here."

"That's serious," Jasper said. I nodded and looked into his eyes and felt even more comforted. He was beginning to ease up, I could feel, as if he was starting to trust me. My instincts told me that he was cautious about me for some reason I could not imagine. I hoped I could get an answer to that later.

"Please go on," Carlisle requested, and I nodded before continuing over how dazed I was at everything, and my decision to find Elias. I went into details with how I choose to drink animal blood – I could see that Carlisle was very interested.

"On my way, I met a trail from other vampires, and I decided to follow it. That's how I met Victoria, James and Laurent. They tried to make me drink human blood, but I didn't do well." Tanya rubbed my handbag, and I sighed. "Laurent and James was very kind toward me, but Victoria was … Not so kind. She seemed jealous that James had accepted me into the group just like that. We were on our way to the south to visit some friends of Victoria's, when I realized something." I looked at Eleazar. "I realized that James was what I now know is called a tracker. After that I simply couldn't stay with them. Victoria and I ended up in a fight, but we both came out unscathed, I think. Then I ran to the north. I wanted to know how my father was doing, and even though I didn't want to hurt him, the lesser part of me won. So I went to Forks."

I immediately felt the static in the room. I looked up. Not only the Cullens were staring at me, also the Denali.

"What?" I asked.

"You went to Forks?" Alice asked.

"Yea. That's where my father lives. Why?"

"We live in Forks. At the time," Carlisle informed.

"Oh," I said stupidly. I hadn't mentioned Forks before, I realized now – not even the last time I told the story to my new family. Did they think I didn't trust them now? Tanya was frozen by my side, so maybe.

"That's interesting," Eleazar mumbled.

"Destiny is a funny thing," Carmen said with a calm voice, and I felt her hand run through my hair. "Maybe it wasn't such a random event that you found us."

"What happened then?" Alice asked excitedly and leaned closer to me. "Please tell."

"He wasn't home. I went in anyway. I took some of my stuff from my room. I listened to the answering machine. Three of them were from my mom, but the last one was from one of my father's friends. Billy Black. I thought I might find out something if I went to La Push, so I –"

"_What?_" almost every voice in the room asked singularly.

"What?" I repeated.

"You went to La Push?" Jasper asked.

"Yes. What's wrong with that?"

"What's wrong with it?" Jasper repeated loudly. Alice hushed at him.

"Jasper, she couldn't know!" she snapped and turned back to me. She rubbed my shoulders, and I felt strangely comforted. I remembered when I first came with Tanya and I'd been shying away from Tanya's touch. But it was so strangely natural with Alice. As if we'd already known each other for a while.

"What's wrong with La Push?" I asked, starting to get annoyed.

Jasper hurried to answer. "We have a truce with the people in La Push. We don't come there."

"Why?" I asked.

"They know of us. They won't expose us to others as long as we stay clear of them and don't hurt people. If any vampires cross into their lands, they will be attacked."

Esme leaned toward me. "Were you?" she asked.

"Yes, but it –"

They all gasped.

"Please, let me finish. Whatever it was, it didn't even catch up with me! Am I right when I say it was a wolf?"

"Werewolves," Carlisle answered. But even though I had announced I hadn't been hurt, they didn't seem to lighten up.

"What's wrong?" I asked frustrated. I was starting to get angry that they didn't just tell me.

"We made a deal with them. They'll think that you're one of ours, especially because your eyes aren't crimson. Of course they were probably more red back then, but it doesn't matter. We'll hear for this one. I don't think it'll end in a fight, though," he assured me.

"Oh!" I whispered and looked at him with guilty eyes. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I'm so very sorry."

"It's okay, Bella. You were new, you didn't know. We'll deal with it. It won't be as bad as it may sound," Alice said and rubbed my bag.

"Really? You forgive me?" I asked hopeful.

"Of course we do, sweetie," Esme said with her quiet voice.

I sighed. "I can't believe I brought that on you!" I whimpered.

"Don't worry yourself with that," Carlisle said.

I shook my head. "I can't promise that." I couldn't make myself forgive myself. It was terrible that I had failed the Cullen's trust already before I met them or the Denali Clan.

"Please, Bella, go on," Alice whispered in my ear, and I nodded with a faint smile in her direction.

"Then I went north where I met Tanya in the woods." I shrugged. "That's it, I guess."

Carlisle straightened up. "Your story is interesting. When did you come by Forks?"

"I'm not sure, but I think about three months ago."

"We were in Vegas then," Alice said. "That's why I didn't see you. I weren't looking for anyone coming."

I smiled. "Funny."

"Interesting," Carlisle agreed.

"Coincidence," Jasper muttered.

I felt intimidated again. Jasper was sort of frightening. When he felt this, he tried to smile at me.

"Don't worry, Bella," he said. "You do that too much."

-------------------------

Note: Bella's shield aren't actually colored, it's like when Jasper knows people's feelings. It's in her head, like people sometimes connect cold with blue … I think that's the best way I can describe it.

Something I didn't like about this chapter, and the rest of my story, is how Irina isn't described very well yet, and she isn't really doing so much, but this is caused by the fact that we don't hear much about her in the books. But I'll try to put some research into it and flip through the book – especially Breaking Dawn – to see how she's described the places she is.

Sorry for mistakes in it, if they're there, which they probably are, though I didn't really notice them this time.


	8. Chapter 8

I just finished it. Now I give it to you. Now I thank you for your reviews! :)

UNECESSARY SECURITY

"Bella, you need some new clothes!"

I turned to see Alice standing behind me. I was still surprised at how tiny she was. I frowned when I saw that Jasper stood a few steps behind her. I couldn't figure out why he was always following her when she was near me. It was clear that they were together, but he didn't follow her around like that when she wanted to go somewhere else. It was just with me.

"What do you mean?" I asked and got up from where I sat with Tanya and Kate. "I have clothes."

"Yes, but you need new ones!" she insisted.

"Alice loves shopping," Tanya chuckled from behind me. "She wants you to play dress-up."

I grimaced. "No, Alice. Please, don't make me do that!"

"But Bella …" she whispered and put her most pleading, innocent and child-like face on. I looked away.

"Ugh, Alice, that's not fair! I said please!"

"Don't you want to look nice when Emmett, Rosalie and Edward comes?" she asked.

I sighed. "Fine," I grumbled.

"Yes!" she squeaked. "We'll go right away!" Then she dragged me to the garage, where the Denali's car was. She already had the keys.

"You already knew you were going to win that argument, didn't you?" I asked as I got into the car.

"Yup," she responded and turned the key.

"Jasper aren't coming?" I asked when I realized he was nowhere around.

Alice grimaced. "I know you don't like that he's always there, like an extra shadow," she said as we drove away. "So I asked him to let us go alone."

"I guess he doesn't trust me," I murmured.

She sighed. "He doesn't trust you Bella, it's true, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like you. He does. But, as a rule, Jasper won't trust any newborn."

"Why?" I asked.

"It's a long story, but to give you the short summary; young vampires are very wild. You're a rare example. You're so calm. But he's just waiting for you to slip. Paranoid as he is, he's thinking it will be when I'm there."

"You mean he thinks I'd hurt you?" I whispered.

"Yes. But I trust you Bella," she assured me and clapped my hand.

"I don't know whether you should. I'm not so sure about the calm-thing."

"Bella, how many newborns have you met?" she asked.

"None," I mumbled.

"I've met my share, and trust me when I say that Jasper has met many hundreds."

"Oh," I said. "I guess that gives him some experience."

"Some doesn't cover it. But let's not rest on such a dark subject! Emmett, Rosalie and Edward comes tomorrow. I'm not sure that gives us enough time, but we can try to find you some decent clothes."

"Classic, Alice," I snorted, but I also smiled. Alice was special. She was weird. But I could already feel it. She might be special and weird, but she was _my_ special and weird sister.

-

"No dice, Alice!" I grumbled as she stuck a black dress made in silk up under my nose. "No dice I'm wearing that!"

"We'll see," she just said, shrugging as she put it in the pile of clothes I should try on for her.

"No we won't!" I hissed and quickly snapped the dress away.

"I something wrong?" one of the employees asked.

"No, everything's fine," Alice answered with a winning smile. "My sister just simply adores that dress!"

The woman smiled. "It is a very nice dress," she agreed and left with a smile on her face.

When Alice turned back to me, she raised one eyebrow. "What?" she asked. I must look ridiculous as I was staring at her like that.

"You just called me your sister," I mumbled.

"Yes," she answered, smiling, and took my hand. "That's what we are, Bella! We're sisters!"

I smiled back at her. "Thank you, Alice," I whispered. She hugged me and nudged my cheek.

"What about trying that dress?" she asked teasingly.

I sighed with a smile. "Okay," I said, giving up. There really was no resisting Alice.

-

"Why do I need those?" I asked as I stared warily at the boots she was showing me. In my human life, it had been that kind of wearing I'd been avoiding because of my bad balance. I knew I didn't have balance problems to worry about now – but the heal was so thin, I was sure it would break as soon as I laid my weight on it, and that was not really what I needed.

"They're fancy, Bella, just try them."

"No."

She rolled her eyes. "Why do you always need to be so stubborn?" she asked.

"Because those things look dangerous!"

"Bella, I'm sure they fear you more than you fear them," she snorted and gave me the boots.

"I refuse!"

"Bella, you've refused almost everything, and what of all the things you've refused to wear have you not ended up wearing anyway?" she asked.

"This is the line, Alice!" I muttered. "I won't wear them, I simply won't. They're not _me_."

"Don't be silly, Bella, besides, you're going to look great in these!"

"You can't see that right now! I'm not going to wear them!"

"Oh, yes I can."

"No you can't!"

"Who's the psychic of you and me?"

I scowled at her. "I refuse," I repeated and put the boots down. "Let's get going."

She took the boots and went to the disk. "W-wait, what are you doing?" I asked, following her.

"Buying them anyway," she answered without feeling, as if she was bored.

"They're not your size."

"So what? Can't I buy them then?"

"I won't wear them."

"Fine." She shrugged.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "You're trying to make me feel guilty. Because you care about what I wear and I really don't."

"Yes I am."

"It's working." It probably weren't good to say it to her, but as she'd already pointed out; she was the psychic.

And as I expected, she answered: "I know."

"Fine, give me the damn boots!" I growled and snapped them from her hands to try them on.

-

We ended up having pretty much a mountain of new clothes just for me. Alice hadn't bought anything, and I felt self-conscious, especially because I knew she was paying.

It was a real girl's night out. Just as you always see them on movie. The only thing missing was a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant, but there wasn't going to be any of that.

We laughed all the way home, and I felt like I was flying, but all that was spoiled when I saw Jasper wait for us.

As I stepped out, I knew he felt my mood, but before he could say anything, I mumbled: "She's great. I didn't slip." I didn't stay to hear his response.

I didn't like acting like that to Jasper, and I was angry at myself for letting my good mood disappear, but I didn't like that Jasper was just waiting for me to slip and attack someone. I was also angry because I knew he was right. That was what happened with Victoria.

"Bella," Jasper called and followed. I knew both he and Alice were right behind me. "Bella, please, let me explain!"

I stopped and turned around. As I saw his face, I couldn't hold the grudge. It was clear to me that he didn't hate me, he was just wary and protective of the one he loved and the rest of his family. I understood. But I was also hurt. Because that must mean he didn't look at me as family. Maybe Alice was the only one who did, and the only one who ever would.

"Bella, please don't think I don't like you," he pleaded. I could see he was sorry that he'd made me think so.

"I don't, Jasper," I muttered. "It's just … I'd like it if you trusted me not to hurt Alice."

"I'd like that, too," Alice noted from Jasper's side.

He hesitated. "I'm not sure I can do that, Bella. You're new."

"All I want is a little trust. I know why you don't want Alice to be alone with me. She told me." His eyes flickered to her. "But really, Jasper, I would never, ever hurt Alice!"

"Not purposely, anyway," Alice added.

I shot a dirty look at her. "Thank you, Alice." She shrugged. I looked back at Jasper with pleading eyes.

He sighed. "I'll try, all right?"

I grinned, and before I was sure what I was doing, I had my arms around him, hugging him tightly. I could feel his surprise, and I imagined his thoughts; maybe he'd even imagined I would attack. But I would never attack Jasper. "Thank you," I whispered and went back into the house to find Kate.

-----

I know, I know, you want Edward, but I really wanted to write this chapter because Jasper and Alice is such an essential part of it, and I always missed Jasper in the books. Chapter 9 will be posted tomorrow, and I promise that it will contain lots and lots of Edward :) That is my Christmas promise for you guys ^^ I know how much you want him on the stage.


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks for reviews :) Again. ^^ I love logging on and finding reviews. You guys can't imagine what it means to me to get comments like that!

So … Here's what you've been waiting and asking for. I won't hold you back xD Please enjoy.

----

BEAUTY BEYOND

I was wearing the silver dress, leggings and the boots. I had to admit, Alice was right; the clothes did suit me. Still, I didn't like the looks of those boots – so fragile; it was hard to believe they really held me up.

"The worst is over, Bella," Irina whispered to me with a chuckle. "There's only three left."

"Why didn't they just all come on the same time?" I asked, feeling faint, though I knew I couldn't react on it.

"Because that would have made you too shy to say anything understandable. Remember, Alice could see that," Irina said.

"Right. She's the psychic," I scowled, and Alice laughed a little to my right.

"They're coming," she said a few seconds later.

"How long?" Esme asked.

"A minute. I'm pretty sure Edward can hear us. Should I tell him to tell the others that you're very shy and that they shouldn't expect any major sentences, Bella?" she asked.

I growled. "You pretty much just did." She grinned.

I looked to my left to peek at Tanya. She seemed nervous, too. She always acted different whenever Edward was mentioned, so I guessed it must be even more pronounced when he would actually be there, but I could see she was putting herself together, as if it was important not even to think of her feelings when he was there. That might be a good idea, though he probably knew.

Then I thought to myself that he might hear my thoughts now, and I tried to blank my mind, but I couldn't. There were simply too much to think about. I had heard much about all of them; Rosalie, the incarnation of beauty, Emmett, a big, muscled vampire who was always cheery, very open-minded and straightforward, and then there was Edward, whom Alice had described as polite and as a very good brother. I could hear in her voice when she spoke of him that she was very fond of him.

"They're coming," Alice said, and now I could hear them, too. We were all quiet as they approached. The humming of their steps was the only sound. Then one knock on the door announced their arrival, and they stepped inside.

The first one who came in was Rosalie. And she was beautiful. Her golden locks were breathtaking, and she was so beautiful it hurt to look at her. Any human girl would break her heart at the very thought of this kind of beauty.

I forced my eyes off of her and to the next one. It was Emmett, no doubt. He was so … Big. The room kind of sunk in as he stood in front of us. He wore a big grin on his face, and his eyes met mine. As they did, he laughed a booming laughter.

"Hello, Bella," he greeted.

"Good day, Emmett," I responded.

"You're too small," he said, and my mind went blank.

"Uhm …" was all I could say.

"Don't frighten her, Emmett," Irina said and more than one voice laughed – Emmett definitely being one of them.

But then I couldn't concentrate on them anymore, for the last shape of the family had just stepped into the room.

He was more boyish and not as tall as his brothers, but he was just as beautiful, if not more. His jaw was set tight, and it had a shape of anger in it, and I argued with myself whether it was frightening or sweet.

His hair was like bronze, and it wavered in the light breeze that came from outside. His eyes were dark, as I knew our eyes grew when we hadn't drunk blood for a while. I wondered why he hadn't.

His pose was both casual and polite, it was wonderworking. As he shut the door and his hair rested, he looked up at Carlisle. Then they wandered off to Alice, and then hesitantly to me.

It was only one second, but I felt a static run through me as I looked into those eyes. As if there was something special hidden deep in them. Some treasure that I would have to unravel. I felt my mouth fall open as I looked into his mesmerizing eyes. Then he looked away, to Irina, Kate, Tanya, Carmen and Eleazar. It took a moment before I could catch my breath. I felt dazzled, and I looked at him again. He was very handsome, and polite. He greeted us with the exactly right words. He really was something special.

Edward looked at the ceiling, as if he was thinking about something. I could just stand and watch him, but I knew that wouldn't be polite and that I would look stupid and embarrass myself, so I forced myself to look at Rosalie. I smiled. "Hi Rosalie. It's nice to meet you."

She smiled back. "You too, Bella."

Edward suddenly gasped, and every set of eye in the room looked at him, while his eyes suddenly settled on me. They were narrowed, and I slumped my head down toward my shoulders, trying to disappear.

"Did they contact you?" Alice asked.

Edward looked at her, his jaw tight. "No," he just answered.

"What?" Irina asked.

"The wolves," Alice answered. "I just filled Edward in with the story."

"Alice; we can't read minds. Please fill _us_ in," Emmett asked.

"Bella was in Forks, and she went to La Push," Edward quickly said.

"That sounds interesting, can we please have the whole story?" Rosalie asked.

"No," Edward answered.

"Of course," Carlisle edited and send Edward a warning glance. Edward just crossed his arms with a sigh and looked at the floor. Then Carlisle began to tell my story – after asking my permission which I gladly gave him. I was thankful that he took on his shoulders to tell it instead of asking me to.

When he was finished, it was utterly silent. I looked at Rosalie and Emmett, not wanting to meet Edward's face. His eyes would bore into me. Still, I peeked up. And just as I had expected: he was staring. No, glaring. As if he was trying to see in behind my eyes and into my brain. As if he was frustrated that he couldn't. Then I realized what would be wrong.

Oh. He must not be able to read my mind.

I smiled at this, not recognizing that this would probably just make him angrier.

"She went to La Push? You think they'll take it as some kind of war declaration?" Emmett asked.

"I think they'll take it easy this time," Carlisle said. "She didn't hurt anybody, and she's one of us."

"It was risky," Edward mumbled.

"She didn't know the rules," Alice defended me. I saw Edward's shoulder's tighten, as if something in Alice's thoughts was annoying to him. I looked at Alice. She seemed angry about something, and her eyes shot lightning at Edward.

"Edward, Alice is right," Rosalie stated. "How was she supposed to know?"

"The smell?" he asked.

Something clicked in my mind. "That was it?" I asked. "The smell was werewolf?"

"Yea," Edward answered, and I felt the ice in his voice. It was as if he was consciously trying to repel me. I wasn't as much repelled as I was frightened.

"I'm sure it all will work out just fine," Esme said and stepped toward the last members of her family. She poked Edward's shoulder. "You should go hunt!"

He sighed. "Fine, mom," he said, and I could see that he truly did see her as his mom. What really surprised me in my new, big family was all the devotion. Everyone loved each other. Except that I wasn't really accepted yet.

As the atmosphere eased up, Emmett was at my side in an instant.

"So, Bella, what do you say to a nice, friendly match?" he asked.

I raised my eyebrows. "What –"

"Emmett, don't trick her into anything!" Esme said.

Jasper was suddenly there, too, laying his arm around Emmett's shoulders in a friendly gesture. "Yea, Emmett. Remember, she might hurt you with her crazy newborn powers!"

I jumped back when Emmett punched Jasper in the face. They both grinned and started wrestling with each other right there.

"Don't worry about it," a beautiful voice said behind me, and I turned to look at the perfect Rosalie. "It's normal. Or, actually, it's insanity, but it's normal for them." She smiled. "And don't get frightened by Edward. He's just a bit impolite sometimes."

"Weird," I responded as I recommended to myself that Edward could be both polite and impolite.

"Don't get him wrong, he really can be nice brother."

"I understand," I said, nodding.

Then Rosalie suddenly laughed. "Did Alice help you find clothes?"

"Uhm … Yea."

"It shows," she laughed.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She shrugged, still chuckling. I listened to the sound in wonder. "Alice likes to pick out our clothes," she answered.

I nodded and rolled my eyes. "I've noticed that."

"What, you speak about me behind my back! What kind of sisters are you?" Alice teased as she suddenly approached. She turned to me. "I don't think Edward can read your thoughts. He looked frustrated."

"Edward can't read her thoughts? How can that be?" Rosalie asked.

"Bella's a shield. Her mind is secured. Kate can't harm her," Alice answered. "But Jasper can calm her down, and I can read her future."

"Is the calming thing used a lot?" Rosalie asked.

"She's very self-conscious."

"I won!" Jasper yelped triumphantly.

"You did not!" Emmett growled.

"Easy boys!" Esme said.

I smiled at the fuzz. It felt like home. This _was_ my family, I realized. This was where I belonged. I glanced at the door where Edward had disappeared to go hunt. I only wished that everyone would agree.

-

"Bella! Are you even concentrating?" Tanya screamed. She laid on her back on the ground, gasping, recoiling in pain.

"I'm sorry, Tanya," I cried as I hugged myself in an attempt to try to be calm. "I really am doing my best, I am!"

Tanya didn't response. Kate's attempts to shock her was getting harder and harder for me to block, equals more pain for Tanya.

"Maybe you should take a break?" Irina suggested, and Tanya nodded eagerly before getting up.

I hid my face in my hands, and I heard the others disappear inside the house. Kate asked if I was coming, but I didn't answer, and she soon left, too.

"Why can't I get it right?" I whimpered in a whisper. "I'm the worst shield in the world!"

"Don't be so hard on yourself."

I jumped to my feet and turned around. Edward stood leaned up on a tree and looked at me with golden eyes, shimmering from the dim shadows.

"Edward," I gasped, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

He chuckled. "Visiting family," he answered. I ducked my head and looked at my feet. They were bare; I didn't want to destroy Alice's boots.

I heard him come closer. I couldn't just hear it; my bare feet could feel the vibrations in the earth. It tickled.

Even his steps were magnificent. As if wherever he touched the ground, a mark of light, wonderful Edward was left behind. The place would be blessed with his touch for a long time. And his scent …

It was the first time I smelled it. The wind was blowing my way, and as he approached, the scent hit me as surprisingly as a tornado. It was so strange, like grass in the spring right after rain. So fresh. And it wasn't all. There was more, but it was difficult to put in words. His scent made my brain hazy, and I took one step closer to him, unconsciously, taking in a deep breath.

I looked up at him then. He was but a meter from me. I could see his muscles through his shirt, and I fought to keep my eyes at his face. It wasn't so hard when I finally got focus on him. He was even more beautiful in close-up.

His looked at me with troubled and piercing eyes. He'd might as well have taken a spear and pierce me with it – not that he could; the spear would break the moment it hit me and become nothing but splinters.

"It's so strange," he said. I noticed that he was holding his breath. I wondered if I really smelled that bad, and I took a minor step back from him. He frowned and look questioning at me.

"What is?" I asked.

"Not hearing your thoughts," he answered. "I can't figure you out."

"Is that why you hate me?" I asked, and for a second I almost wanted him to be able to read my mind, just so that he wouldn't hate me as much. But then I changed my mind. I wouldn't let someone read my mind just so they would like me.

"I don't hate you," he said quietly after a moment of hesitation.

"I once said the very same thing about Forks. It was a lie," I told him. "You could be lying, too."

"Why should I hate you, Bella?" he asked.

I shrugged. "You should know better than me, but I figure it might be because of the whole La Push –thing," I answered and looked down again.

"I was upset, it's true, but the others were right; it wasn't your fault. How were you supposed to know you weren't allowed to go there? I mean, nobody told you any rules. Not even about the Volturi."

I peeked up again, hoping to find a forgiving look on his face, but instead I found one that might as well have been carved in stone. I shuddered.

"I really am sorry."

"I know," Edward answered.

"I thought you couldn't read my mind," I objected.

"I can't. I read it in Carlisle's."

"Oh."

Silence dragged on between us, but I wasn't sure with myself if it was awkward. I tried to straighten up to look into his eyes. They were troubled again.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He smiled crookedly, and I felt dazzled again. How different he looked with this smile on his face.

"I'm just trying to get used to not knowing your thoughts," he answered.

"Welcome to reality. That's how everyone else get by every day," I snorted dryly. He smiled.

"It's terrible. I don't know how you all do it."

"You can read it in their minds."

He smiled wider, and his white teeth showed. I gasped in a gush of air. "True," he said. Then I saw him take a deep breath. "You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, though." I looked at him without understanding. "You're not the worst shield ever. I've never met anyone with your abilities."

I scowled. "I can't control it," I muttered.

"You're only months old. It will come," he assured me.

"I hope so."

His eyes were serious then, and he hesitantly stepped closer. "Please, Bella, please don't think I hate you. I am sorry for my rude behavior earlier. Will you forgive me?" he asked. His brows went downward, and he looked downright lost. As if everything depended on my forgiveness.

How could I not give him what he wanted?

"Of course I will! I already have," I answered.

He smiled. "Good." Then he laughed, and I marveled at the sound. It was so strange, so beautiful. "I can't have Alice being angry at me all the time," he continued. He looked at me with sparkling eyes. "She's really fond of you, you know."

I looked down with a shy smile. "I'm fond of her, too," I whispered, knowing that it was the underestimating of the year.

"She hates me for acting like that to you," he said and sighed. "I guess she have a right to be."

"No she don't," I assured him quickly.

He looked up with a smile. "Alice was right."

"About what?" I asked.

"The only thing she could talk about before coming here was you, and how you would be the perfect addition to our family and how we would all like you from the very first moment. She couldn't shut up about how 'sweet, caring and lovable' you were." He shook his head. "She was driving all of us insane. But I see now that she's right. You do really care for her. I don't have to read your mind to find out. You let her play dress-up with you. That's enough evidence."

We both laughed at that for a short second. Then he was serious again. "I'm sorry, Bella."

Then he left, and all I could do was to stand and stare at his back as he went back inside. I sat back down and crumbled a stone to dust in my hands. He was so very different from the others, so much harder to win over. But why did I have the feeling he was trying _not_ to like me? And why did he say he was sorry just now?

I thought about our conversation and his smell, his face, the way his mood shifted so quickly, his hair moving in the wind, his posture when he walked. H wasn't just beautiful. He was something much more. Something I had never imagined could even exist.

He was beauty beyond.

----

Note: Someday I'll go through the entire story to correct mistakes. The reason I'm hurrying with this story is that it's a gift, and I want it to be as long as possible – since I can't finish it – when I give it to my friend. So there's the explanation for all the grammar and spelling errors xD I really am sorry for that, though. Especially because I love perfection – Edward is the clearest example of this – so I _will_ correct it someday.

I probably won't get as much written as usual today, because I want to finish my math homework, and I really stink at it. Wish me good luck. Thanks for reading ^^


	10. Chapter 10

Honestly, I ended up listening to a lot of music and watching Lucky Star, South Park, Haruhi and Avatar xD Well, did get SOME math done xD

Uhm … I'm not really happy with this chapter, but … Well.

--

THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL

It was snowing. Outside the earth was already covered in a layer of white, as if it had its own, personal coat. I hadn't ever liked snow, but as a vampire I knew that even the snow would be warmer than my skin – it felt just the tiniest bit warm.

Irina, Kate and I were hunting. It was different – wilder – to hunt in snow. Every move was shadowed by a bunch of snow, which would later be colored red.

"Nice," Kate complemented me after a fight with a bear that didn't like our intruding. "But I can do better!"

"Sure you can," Irina said and rolled her eyes. "Are we gonna take that, Bella?" she asked me, winking.

I laughed and crouched. "Definitely not!" I replied.

Kate winced as we launched for her. She reached for us, but then she remembered that I was immune to her gift. As she tried to touch Irina, I stepped in between, caught her at the shoulders and pushed her to the ground. As we laid there, I grinned at her. "That was too easy, Kate!"

She growled and pushed me off of her. Behind me, Irina was laughing.

"Why don't we just go back?" Kate asked grudgingly.

"I still have some hunting to do," I answered.

"I'll gladly stay behind," Irina said.

"Fine," Kate growled. "Later, then." Then she ran off. I turned to Irina, who smiled at me.

Then we ran on to find a new prey for me. Since I was still new, I had to hunt more than the average vampire. I hated it. It prevented me from training and had me hunting alone a lot – of course, that was before the Cullens came to visit. Now there was always at least one with me. I'd even been hunting with Esme, Alice and Rosalie at the same time, and I had really enjoyed the time being.

I had purposely decided not to hunt with Emmett. It seemed he liked to fight, and I didn't want to get on my new family's bad side. Still, I had the feeling Emmett wouldn't mind a duel.

The only one I wasn't getting along well with was Edward. He avoided me constantly, only spoke to me when absolutely needed, and he even rarer looked at me. And when he did, his eyes were cold. How could he have asked me not to think he hated me when he so clearly did?

"The Cullens really like you," Irina said with a kind voice. "It must be nice for you to fit in so easily. You're so self-conscious." She laughed.

I bit my lower lip and looked at the grey sky from which the snowflakes came from. "I wish it was all of the who liked me," I mumbled.

"Oh, you're talking about Edward, right?" she asked. I nodded. "Don't worry. He'll come around. That's just the way he is."

"I've noticed."

"I guess you have," she laughed.

"I doesn't make it easier that he can read minds."

"What does that matter? He can't read yours," she pointed out.

I shrugged. "Apparently, he's so used to it, he can't comprehend not hearing my thoughts. Maybe that's why he hates me so much."

"I must be something else. He can be rude, but I don't think it's that. And even if it was, he doesn't hate you. He would never dare; not when Alice likes you so much." I smiled at her joke, but I didn't really feel comforted. "Really, Bella, everything will work out."

I nodded and sighed.

"Are you filled?" she asked.

"Yea."

"Then let's go home."

"No, I want to run a little more."

She looked incredulously at me, but then she nodded, turned and ran away.

It was pure freedom to run through the woods, and it calmed me down. I knew that calm would vanish as soon as I saw him, but it was nice while it lasted.

-

I was about three hundred meters from the house, and I had slowed down to try to prolong the calming moment. Then I froze. In front of me, he stood as s tone figure leaned against a tree. He didn't say anything, and for a moment, I just stood and stared. Then I decided to just go on as if I hadn't seen him.

"Emmett is waiting for you," he said and began to close the space between us. I froze again immediately.

"So?" I asked.

"He's bored," he answered, shrugging. He looked at me with his golden eyes, and since I didn't have the guts to meet them, I stared at his cheek.

"So?" I repeated.

"He's looking for a fight. You're the last one he needs to ask."

"I'll just say no," I said. I didn't understand why he was here.

"Emmett is very firm when it comes to these playful fights, especially when he hasn't fought a real one for a while. You're newborn. He doesn't think it'll be hard to trigger you into a fight."

"Well, it will," I snapped.

He smiled, and I could read the words in the set of his lips: 'it won't'.

I took a deep breath. "Even if so, why do you care?" I asked.

He shook his head. "You really do think I hate you, don't you?"

"What else should I think?" I asked, my eyes narrowing.

He shrugged. "You can think what you want to." He looked at the sky. "I just wish I could know what it was."

I dropped my hard posture and relaxed. I couldn't figure him out. He was a mystery, and I needed to find out. I looked at his hair that moved in the wind. Snowflakes caught in it and made it glimmer.

"You're fast, aren't you?" I asked. He raised his eyebrows. "Alice said you were the fastest. Do you think you're faster than me?" He shrugged. "Wanna try and see?" I asked. He hesitated, then he smiled that crooked smile.

"Fine. But I'll give you half a second in advantage. To the house?" I nodded. He grinned. "You'll be surprised."

I grinned back. "So will you." Then I ran off at all my speed, and half a second later I could hear him coming. He quickly came closer, as if he was moving with the speed of light. Jeez, he _was_ fast!

Despite my best effort, he caught up with me and got to the house one eight of a second before me.

"Wow! That was …" I shook my head. "That was something!"

He grinned. "Thanks."

"Bella!" a booming voice called from inside, and Emmett, followed by Jasper, Alice and Rosalie, came out.

I sighed. "No, Emmett! I won't fight you!"

"Aw, Bella, don't be so boring!" he teased.

"I'm not bored, you just have a too big need for things to be moving on," I stated.

"She's right," Rosalie noted.

Emmett growled. "We'll see!" he just answered, and then he launched for me; as he did, I heard Jasper say: "What does that even mean?"

I didn't have time enough to react before he did. He moved from beside me and in front of me, grabbed out to meet Emmett, and then slung him to the ground.

"Hey!" Emmett yelled and looked up.

Edward shrugged and crossed his arms. "She said no."

"Come on, Edward, you're –"

"No."

The way Edward pronounced the word put it clear to anyone that he was serious. I just stared at him, feeling self-conscious again. I couldn't bear to look at Alice and the others to see how they reacted.

"You're no fun," Emmett muttered darkly as he moved inside again. He looked like a little child, and I couldn't help wearing a little smug smirk on my lips.

I saw Alice peer at me from the corner of her eyes as she and Rosalie moved inside, too. Jasper stayed just a second longer, then he turned, too.

"What was that about?" I asked when we were alone. I said it with a low voice as I was sure the others would hear if I didn't.

He shrugged. "You're a newborn," he just said.

"I could handle it!" I snapped.

He shrugged. Then his eyes wore that troubled look again. "Will you promise me something?" My eyes narrowed, and he tried to smile. "As a price because I won."

"What?" I asked.

He went serious. "Please don't fight Emmett."

"Why?" I asked.

"Please promise me."

I looked warily at him before answering. "I can't promise something like that!" I snapped.

"Please," he breathed, and I felt my head swim. Those eyes …

"I'll try, but why?" I whispered. I weren't able to bring out more sound.

He'd already turned and was on his way back into the house. I didn't get my answer.

The next day, everything was back to normal. _Everything_.


	11. Chapter 11

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEWYEAR!

I've got three links for you, just so that you can enjoy them ^^

First: a link to a front page I've made, not very good.

.

Then, a link to another fan fiction I made, to all you Breaking Dawn fans – this goes on _after_

.net/s/4645827/1/Sore_Throat

And this is a fan fiction I like. It's really good, a nice Edward, and _awesome_ Bella and the coolest plot!

.net/s/4733860/1/Twilight_After_Dawn_Winternight

After all that, there's only left to say: Enjoy!

11. THOSE GOLDEN EYES

"What's that, Bella? Reading? Really?" Emmett asked as he slammed into the sofa at my side and turned on the sofa. I just nodded. "Wouldn't you rather have a friendly duel with me?" I shook my head. He sighed. "I hoped my new sister would be funnier."

"Sorry," I mumbled as I flipped the page.

"Whatcha' reading?"

"Wuthering Heights," I mumbled.

"What heights?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes and ignored him. "Just watch your game."

"Shall do," he answered.

An hour or two went by, and I continued reading the same book, flipping from the ending page to the beginning when it ended. It still smelled like home, and I breathed it in. I was hit by a strange homesick that I hadn't really felt until now.

"Well, that was it," Emmett said, stretching as he got up. "Still just want to read your book?" I nodded. "See ya later, boring." I raised my hand to say goodbye.

Emmett went out the door, and I was alone in the house. The others were out for some reason.

Well, not entirely alone.

"You're really into that book."

I looked up and saw him stand by the door. I looked back at my book. "It's a nice story."

"You're very sadistic if you think that story is _nice_," he stated. I scowled at him.

"What's going on outside since everyone is gone?" I asked.

"That's why Alice send me," he answered. Oh. Alice send him. "They want to play baseball. She wants you to play."

"Why didn't she just come?" He shrugged. I turned the page I was on.

He sat down beside me, and I could feel his eyes on my face. "Are you coming?" he asked.

I turned the next page. "I've never been one for baseball," I mumbled.

"Why?" he asked, and I looked up at him, but I froze when I realized that he sat very close to me. It took me a few seconds to snap out of it.

I shrugged. "I look boring," I answered.

He laughed. "Trust me, a game of baseball with a bunch of vampires is anything but."

"I'm not sure I know the rules."

"It's simple. Just come." He stood, hesitated and then smile as he held out his hand as an invitation for mine. To be polite, no doubt. "Besides, it would make Alice very happy."

I growled, closed the book and took his hand. "All right, but she can't keep using that!"

"Trust me," he said with a smile as he dragged me to the door; I was still the slightest bit resistant. "She can."

-

He let go of my hand immediately when we came outside, and then he led the way to where we were going to play. He seemed tight, and his expression was one of indecision. He glanced at me many times, and I stared back.

"What are you thinking?" he asked as we ran together.

"Does it matter?" I asked.

"You tell me," he answered.

"If I tell you, will you tell me what you're thinking?" I asked.

He frowned and looked straight ahead. "Maybe."

I sighed. "I was just thinking how one person can possibly contain so many mood shifts in just one minute. And how that one person can ask another person not to think he hates her, when he really does." I looked seriously at him. "The person I'm curious about is you."

He smiled. "I don't hate you," he said for the I-don't-know-what-time.

"Then why do you act like it?"

His face stiffened. "I'm sorry."

Then we came to a huge field where the others were, too, and he left me to stand by Jasper's side. _Sorry for what?_ I thought to myself as Emmett came to my side.

"So you finally gave up on the book, huh?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I didn't give up on it. I just stopped reading."

"Same thing," he said, rolling his eyes, and then I was suddenly standing with a bat. "Go to the left team," he ordered. At first I just stared at him, until he pointed to the left team. I grinned at him. I might as well have been one of those manga characters with that weird drop of water hanging at their head.

I went to the left team; Alice, Tanya, Jasper, Carmen and Eleazar.

"Hurry, Bella!" Alice sang. "We start out."

We quickly spread on the field. I felt kinda lost, though I knew I just had to grab the ball and send it back to Tanya. In my human life I had always stayed out of sport activities: I was deadly as soon as I was playing. The teachers ended up letting me sit on the bench throughout all classes. I was fine with that.

So, since I'd never played baseball before and only rarely seen it in television, I was scared.

Kate was the first one to hit. It was like thunder: a lightning could have stroke down behind me and I wouldn't have noticed the noise.

I was amazed at the length she shot the ball: I was sure I couldn't do that, not even newborn as I was.

Jasper immediately ran for it, but even though it was close, he didn't make it before Kate was in.

"_Homerun_!" Emmett shouted.

"Damn it!" Eleazar growled. "They've got both Kate, Emmett and Edward! How are we supposed to have chance?"

"What do you see, Alice?" Carmen asked.

Alice shrugged. "The game has barely started, so I won't trust my visions. But I really don't have to tell you; if it keep going like this, we'll lose. But take it easy – we're only just begun!"

I nodded in agreement; maybe I just didn't care as much as the others.

I looked to the side where Esme was watching. I wondered why she wasn't playing, but then I thought about her feelings for everyone; mothers usually watched and tried to prevent any of her children to get hurt.

"Bella!" Eleazar called, and I looked up to see the ball come flying. As if instinctive, I ran for it. It was so quickly, and it was picking up speed. I got an idea and went for it. Instead of waiting for it to fall down, I decided to make it. I jumped off the ground and reached for it.

It was within my grasp, and as soon as I got it, I turned, still in the air, send it back flying to Tanya, and then I hit the ground, destroying the clothes I wore with mud immediately.

"_Out_!" Esme yelled.

I looked at Irina who was clearly very upset. I couldn't help smiling. Maybe the game was getting to me after all. It had always looked boring in television, but Edward was probably right; vampire baseball was something different.

It was Carlisle's turn, and I waited to see where he'd shoot.

Jasper got it this time, just in time to stop Carlisle from a homerun, but not an out.

"This game is confusing," I mumbled, only caring on my part.

We got Rosalie, too, but Emmett and Edward both made homerun, leaving the points 3-2 against us.

The speed of the game picked up, and everything kind of blurred together. Until Edward hit the third time.

It was coming straight for my direction, almost as quickly as him. I set after it, knowing I probably wouldn't catch it, but I was going to try anyway.

I tried to jump to get it, but it was too fast, and I fell to the ground again, seeing it fly into the forest, disappearing. I growled furiously and hit my fist in the ground. Behind me, Emmett burst into laughter as Esme shouted "homerun". I looked at the line of the other team, searching. Edward was looking after the ball, then to me. He raised one eyebrow, as if to say: "Are you gonna get that?"

I ran angrily into the forest to find it. I felt humiliated. Who was he to treat me like that – to him I might as well have been dirt. It was so strange, why did he on regular either look down at me or ignore me, and then he sometimes came to tell me he didn't hate me and was nice and everything. His prey got more attention than me. I gritted my teeth together. Not that I cared. What was his attention to me?

"There you are, you cursed ball!" I growled as I found it. I took it in my hands before I realized it was too late. My hand shaped around it, and I touched it harder than I expected. With fierce anger I watched as it crumbled.

The growl ripped through my throat all the way back.

"I broke it," I muttered when I came back.

"Classic, Bella," Emmett laughed. "You're lucky we brought more."

"Lucky?" I muttered under my breath.

-

It eventually came to be our turn to hit. Alice didn't hit it as far, but she was quick, so she made it a homerun.

Carmen and Tanya both had to stop at third base, while Eleazar and Jasper made homeruns.

And then it was my turn.

Carlisle was pitcher, and at first I felt pretty confident about it. Until I saw him from the corner of my eye. He was looking at the sky, as if he didn't care whether or not I shot the ball in his direction. As if it didn't matter. I looked at him with narrowed eyes. His jaw was tight, the set of his lips a hard line.

As Carlisle pitched the ball to me, I wasn't thinking, just swinging.

It was so hard, it almost blurred in my vampire super-vision, and Edward almost didn't move in the time it took the ball to knock into him. I froze in place, and so did everyone else.

Edward went several feet back before he caught his balance, the ball and his glare. The glare was for me.

I could only stare at his hand, holding the ball that was totally destroyed. Everything was quiet. It was as if even the wind didn't want to destroy this moment of humiliation.

"Are you all right, Edward?" I heard Esme ask worriedly.

_I'm on her bad list now_, I thought to myself. Over the time the Cullens had been here, I had noticed that Esme was especially fond of her first son. And I had just hit him. Sort of.

"I'm fine," Edward answered in the most significant voice. It wasn't something I would have expected. It wasn't angry or arrogant or cold. It was amused. I saw him shoot a new look at me, this time not a glare. It was as if he was looking at a math problem that he couldn't solve.

I looked at the ground. "I'm so, so, so very sorry, Edward," I whispered, just high enough for him to hear.

"It's okay, Bella."

"No it's not!" Emmett suddenly broke in angrily. I looked up, terrified. Would they push me away now, as they should have done from the very beginning? Had they finally realized that I wasn't worthy of being part of their family? Should I go look for James and the others? Or should I use the time to go places I'd never seen before. I'd never been in Europe. I couldn't imagine what fun it would be alone, though.

"What's wrong, Emmett?" Kate asked.

"She hit one of our players! She almost knocked him to the ground!" he growled.

"I'm fine, Emmett," Edward noted with a shapeless voice.

"So what? We should still get at _least_ three points for this!"

I almost laughed with relief. Emmett just wanted extra points. Well, he could get all the extra points he wanted!

I couldn't help myself. I ran right to him and hugged him as if he'd just saved my life.

"Hey! I don't wanna get attacked, too!"

I laughed, stepped back and said to the others: "I think I'll just watch from now on. Do you care if I join you, Esme?" I was afraid she'd say no. I would.

"Of course not, Bella," she answered with that beautiful, soothing voice.

Everyone went back to their places, and I went to Esme's side. I turned to Edward and touched his arm. He looked up at me with a surprised look.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked.

"You're not _that_ strong," he responded and stepped back from my touch.

I followed in Esme's steps, trying not to think about him, tried to push him out. But I couldn't. All I could comprehend was the feeling of touching his arm, of his intense and magnificent scent. And his eyes. Those golden eyes that I so rarely met with my own. But when I did … I sighed at the thought. He had looked so strangely at me, and I had felt two things when that happened: first, I had wished he wouldn't, because I couldn't know why he looked at me that way. But second, I _wanted_ him to look, just to know that I wasn't _nothing_ to him.

I suddenly understood Tanya very well, and I would have to be careful.

But those golden eyes …

----

In Denmark we don't play baseball on regular – I haven't ever played it anyway – so if something's wrong, please just tell me and I'll edit xD

HAVE A NICE CHRISTMAS! THAT'S AN ORDER!


	12. Chapter 12

Hi again J I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas Eve! And that you had lots and lots of wonderful gifts! And that you gave plenty of them, too.

Henriette, anyhow, was happy about her present ^^ It's nice to be appreciated for hard work.

I was surprised to see that actually a pretty number of people checked in on my story the 24th, and I'm really thankful :) Pity we don't celebrate Thanksgiving in Denmark. I know who I would be thanking ;)

Anyhow.

This is chapter 12, and the next chapter will be from Edward pov! YAY!

Well, without further to do: Enjoy this next chapter of Newborn!

PRACTICE

"Wait, wait, wait," I whispered. I felt devastated, though I didn't. This feeling of exhaustion was so strange as a vampire, because I felt as if I could go on forever, while I couldn't.

"Ready?" Kate asked.

I bit my lip and concentrated further, though it was hard. My hand was almost touching Tanya, and I could feel my shield crawling up around her. I breathed heavily, wanting to cover her entirely with the shield.

"Touch her hand," I gasped through gritted teeth.

She nodded and did as I ordered.

Tanya didn't respond.

Kate just stared at Tanya's hand with surprise, then a smile spread on both of their faces, and they turned to me.

"You did it!" Tanya shouted, and I suddenly found myself in her arms, laughing with her. The shield snapped back into place, but luckily Kate wasn't touching her anymore.

I was too exhausted to say anything. All I could comprehend was my victory.

"Well done, Bella!" Kate laughed as she hugged us both. "After all that training!"

"You didn't do anything!" Tanya exclaimed and tickled her.

"You couldn't have done this without me!" Kate responded.

"Easy," I laughed whispery.

"Should we go on while you know what you're doing? It's going so well," Tanya asked.

I straightened and looked at her with a nod. "Let's," I answered.

We took our positions again, and they both looked at me with expectantly and patient eyes.

I took several deep breathes before feeling for my shield. I tried to form it, just make it wave at the edges to get a grasp of it, and then I tried to expand.

It wasn't an actual physical pain. It was more like a constant itching in my brain. But I had my will, and that was what I relied on when I did this. Expanding something I couldn't really feel or understand or see was very hard. I knew I was getting better at feeling it, and in my brain I was starting to see it – because of the feeling. But I was still missing the understanding, and I wasn't getting any improvements on that one. I couldn't shape the shield easily or very good, it was raw and hard, before I understood, felt and saw. I had to have it all.

I breathed again and tried to send the shield in a very thin string toward Tanya. Unconsciously, my hand moved forward, too. I was trying not to; the closer I was, the easier it was.

I tried to bend the string around her, and then expand. It was too thick and filled with flaws. I gritted my teeth and tried to pull just a bit back.

My shield snapped right into place.

"No!" I cried.

"What?" Tanya asked worriedly.

"I lost it!" I whispered and hid my face.

Kate touched my arm. "Nope, it's still there." I growled at her.

"Maybe we should wait?" Tanya asked and rubbed my shoulder. She grasped my wrist with her other hand and forced it away from my face, so that she could touch my cheek. "Don't be embarrassed."

I moaned. "I'm never going to get it!"

"That's not true, Bella," Alice said from behind me, and I turned. She and Jasper moved toward us.

"Can you really see that?" I whispered.

"Things like this takes time. But you're working hard on it, and you're determined to learn it. Eventually, you will," she answered.

I looked down. "But not very quickly," I mumbled.

"What's the rush?" she asked and shrugged. "We have no need for your shield at the moment."

"You can always have use of a shield," I whispered, but it was so low, I wasn't even sure she could hear it. I turned to Tanya and Kate. "Let's do it again! We'll practice all night if that's what it takes!"

-

I didn't do any better, even though we worked till dawn. Tanya and I laid on the ground with our eyes closed. I felt like I would become one with the land and never move again. Plants would start to grow on me, and I would lay there forever, like a watching stone.

Kate wasn't really tired, though, and she went inside after poking a bit to us. I listened to what was going on inside the house. Emmett and Jasper were picking on each other – what a surprise – Irina, Rosalie, Carmen and Esme was talking about some designer, Eleazar and Carlisle about Carlisle's job.

And then there were two still voices that my mind screamed to hear. I could hear their footsteps so very lightly. Edward and Alice stood together in a corner of the room, not talking. I wanted to know what was going on between them, even if there wasn't going anything on.

Time passed. I could see the light paint shadows across my lids, and I figured it was light at noon.

That was when Edward suddenly came out of the house with angry steps and then slammed the door. I opened my eyes and sat up. Tanya did the same thing. He saw us, and his eyes passed from me to her and back again. My head shrugged down under my shoulders. Then he left for the forest.

"What was wrong with him?" I whispered breathlessly to Tanya.

"I don't know," she murmured back.

"He's just obsessed," Alice assured from the door. "Come on in. You've been laying there for hours, and Esme want to talk with you." She was looking at me, and we both got up and went inside. I gazed over my shoulder, but there was no trace for the beautiful creature that I would never understand.

Esme looked at me with a smile, and she reached for my hands. "Bella!" she said, and her smile was so motherly, I felt my heart shiver, even though it shouldn't. It didn't care, though. "I have to tell you, I am so happy that you came here! Who knows if we would have ever known of you if you had just come to Forks."

I smiled. "You probably would," I said, gritting my teeth. "People there gossip like old ladies."

We laughed together, and Alice joined us with her soprano.

Esme squeezed my hands. "Some time in the future, we'll be leaving for Forks again. We tend to stay out of the public on sunny days," she winked at me, "but that they let pass. I doubt, though, that they won't get even the slightest bit curious that we disappear like this."

"You haven't told anybody?" I asked.

She shrugged. "We did, but humans don't care. As you said, they gossip like old women." I smiled. "But I would like it very much –" as Alice scowled at her, she corrected, "_we_ would like it very much, if you'd come to visit us. We want to know you better, and weeks aren't enough. We must spend a lot of time together."

I smiled. "I agree. I will definitely come." I peeked at Kate. "Once I get bored here."

"Oh, right. Your gift." Esme smiled. "You take all your time, Bella. You've got plenty."

"The self-conscious one is coming to visit in Forks?" Emmett asked as he suddenly appeared by my side. "Nice." He rested his arm on my head, and I tried to get free, but he was heavy.

"Wow, Emmett, you're quick," Rosalie snorted, and I saw her roll her eyes, before she smiled at me and winked. I winked back.

"How dare you take her away from us?" Irina asked teasingly. "I don't think we'll let you."

"Then come all of you," Rosalie laughed.

Tanya shook her head. "Maybe not just yet. That _will_ be too noticeable. Forks might be small, and the Cullens might live outside town, but not as far from any town as us." She smiled then. "But you won't be free of us."

"I never hoped that," Esme assured and freed my hand to take hers. She looked at me. "What a welcome addition to our family you are, Bella."

As she left us to stand by Carlisle's side, I thought I heard a double meaning in her words, but I let it pass. No need to be paranoid.

-

"Wow, Bella, you're really getting better at this," Tanya complimented as she got off the ground where she'd been writhing for a second. "That stung less than the other one."

I sighed. "Let's just get this over with," I growled. Somewhere deep down, I knew it was my attitude that had something to do with my lack of approving. My gift couldn't be forced.

I concentrated, took a deep breath, and then expanded my shield, locking it inch my inch closer to Tanya. It was almost in contact with her. Forming around her skin. It was very bad shaped, clumsy, filled with flaws. I tried to cut it closer to the skin without losing it. I smiled as my shield formed a thin membrane around Tanya.

"Touch her," I breathed, and Kate nodded.

I watched with down pointing eyebrows as she touched Tanya. Tanya didn't react, but I wouldn't let the joy fill me completely as Kate touched Tanya several other places. I knew that I would snap if I moved.

As Kate touched Tanya's stomach on the side of her that was furthest away from me, Tanya gasped a little scream, and Kate moved her hand quickly.

"It wasn't so bad," Tanya whispered. "Not as the other one. It was just a little hole in your shield, I think."

"Holes aren't acceptable," I growled and loosened the shield so I could begin from the beginning again.

The session continued on and on, but there would always be a place that I didn't get, always a little hole that I couldn't see. Tanya said it was nothing, and that I shouldn't think about it, but how could I not? It was unbearable to look at her writhe in pain on the ground, knowing that it was my fault.

"Should I take over?" Irina asked Tanya as she poked her on the shoulder. Tanya looked irritated at her, but then she considered. She nodded.

A moan gave me away.

"Bella, don't –" Tanya began.

"Shut up and let Irina take your place," I cried. "It doesn't matter anyway."

As I laid there on the ground, with my hands hiding my face, I felt that strange, lost feeling again. It made my entire being ache.

"Don't be like that, Bella," Irina pleaded.

"Just take her place," I groaned and got up. "Let's begin."

Tanya left, but I didn't let myself notice her. I concentrated on protecting Irina. As my shield shaped around her, I felt her light up in my mind. I filled the shield with all of my energy, making it stronger than any I'd made before, cutting it thinner than ever.

As I did, I felt how Irina was suddenly safe, and I knew then that there were no holes.

I watched expectantly as Kate examined Irina, but Irina didn't fall to the ground. A gasp of laughter escaped my lips, but the shield only shivered ever so lightly. Then I knew that I would someday be able to do other things while maintaining the shield.

"Stop," I whispered to Kate, and she looked curiously at me. "Edward!" I called then. It was as if the entire world stood still, just waiting for his reaction. I heard his steady steps come closer, but I didn't dare to look.

"Yes?" he asked, and a shiver ran up my spine. My shield quivered more than before.

"Can you hear Irina?"

He waited a second before answering. "No."

I expanded the shield toward Kate and shaped it around her, too. "Can you hear Kate?"

Five seconds passed by. "No."

I sighed with relief and let the shield snap back again. I breathed in the air as a human that has just been underwater for a while.

I stood up and smiled at Irina and Kate. "I think that's enough for now." They nodded, and I turned to go back inside. As I passed Edward on the way, I felt his hand touch mine in one of the lightest of touches. My head snapped to the side to look at him as a lightning stroke from the place our hands met and up through my arm, but the moment was over quickly, and he was on his way to Irina and Kate. He didn't look at me, and I knew it must have been accidentally.

But I also somehow knew it wasn't.


	13. Chapter 13

The crappy thing about holidays, especially Christmas, almost never in the summer holiday, is that you're always busy! "-.- "-.- "-.-

Well, let's get to the next chapter; wakka wakka xD

--

LIKE A METEOR

Emmett and Jasper were rolling around on the ground, both trying very hard to get the upper hand. I watched without interest as the fight proceeded. Alice sat on the ground beside me, legs crossed. We were in the forest, but somehow our hunting trip had been turned into a duel between my two brothers.

_Yes!_ I heard Emmett think, and I knew he was thrilled with finally getting to fight. I scowled as I remembered all the times he'd tried to trigger Bella into fighting. It was bad acting to ask her to fight. She was new in so many ways; to the life, to the family, to his strange way of interfering with people. I had heard Jasper await a fight between them, hoping that Bella could take Emmett down with her newborn powers. But I wasn't so sure myself. Even if she was as powerful as any newborn, she was so different, too. She wouldn't like to hurt Emmett, so she wouldn't do her best, and Emmett could accidentally hurt her.

I flinched at the thought.

But Bella had promised she would try not to get into a fight with Emmett, and she had kept that promised. I was hoping she would continue to. But I couldn't know. I gritted my teeth. That was the very worst part of being here. Constantly knowing that she was thinking about something, but also knowing that I would never get to know what that was. I was so tuned to hearing people's thoughts; this was just as much a turning point as when I was first turned into a vampire.

"Who's going to win?" I asked Alice as a distraction to my thoughts.

She shrugged, not even interested in the fight. And then I realized that I had been too preoccupied with what I couldn't hear, I hadn't even realized what I _could_. Alice was very much in love with a picture she held in her head. I could see that the vision flickered out of her mind a lot of times. It wasn't certain. Not set in stone. But it was there.

Bella standing in our house, smiling. Her thick, brown hair laid like a waterfall around her shoulders as she stood with the sun in her back.

She was in our house, but not in just any room.

She was in my room.

"What's that?" I snapped and turned to Alice with a glare. She looked up at me with strange, dark eyes. I could see in her mind that she had truly tried to keep this vision from me, due to what happened the last time.

As soon as I saw this in her head, I decided I would do exactly the same as I did with the last.

And the vision disappeared.

She was at her feet in an instant, snarling furiously. "Why would you _do_ that?" she growled. "Are you out of your mind?"

I couldn't answer her; all I could do was to stare at her. How could this little thing be such a source of irritation in my life? Why couldn't she just leave me be?

"Are you?" I snapped at her.

She scowled back at me, her eyes narrowing. I barely noticed how Jasper and Emmett were losing interest in their fight and turned to watch us.

"Why are you so determined not to like her?" she asked.

"Why are you so determined for me _to_ like her?" I asked.

Her mind was raging against me, and all her thoughts was whirling around, I almost couldn't make sense of anything.

"She's family!" she shouted at me. "That's reason enough for you to _try_, but you're not. What you're trying to do is to make her uncomfortable and to be unkind! Why?"

"Yea, Edward," Emmett suddenly asked. "Why?"

"Shut up, Emmett," I growled at him.

"Answer, Edward," Jasper said firmly.

"Why do you need an answer? There's no answer to that!"

_Yes there is,_ Emmett said in his thoughts. _Bella is a perfect addition to our family, and furthermore: there's no reason not to like her!_

"I see plenty," I growled at him.

Alice whirled toward Emmett, but he didn't response.

"Edward, tell us what's wrong!" Jasper pleaded.

"Nothing's wrong!" I felt furious at their self-righteousness. They had no reason to know, no right.

"I know you better than that," Alice suddenly whispered very quietly. "You would never do that. Would you?" Only I heard the double meaning, and I looked to see what vision now was in her head.

It was our entire family; Cullens and Denali. Everyone, also our newest edition. But one person was missing. I didn't recognize who it was, because this was how I had always looked at my family – except for the Bella part.

I was missing in this picture.

"You're … You're not there," Alice whispered, and she looked at me with huge eyes, as if she was going to burst into tears. "Why are you not there?" Her voice was hysteric now. It was a whimper. "Edward, why aren't you there? Why?" She stared at me, and part of me was sure she was going to cry.

"What's wrong, Alice?" Jasper asked as he came to lay his arms around her.

Alice didn't look at him, but she clung to his arm. "Edward's going to leave," she whispered. "He's going to leave!"

"What?" Emmett shouted and turned to me. "Is that true?" he asked.

I stepped back, my eyes wide. "I don't know." I could see myself in their thoughts. Emmett was thinking that he'd nail me to the place if I'd even try to leave. Jasper was trying very hard to understand every aspect of the situation.

And Alice …

Alice was looking for a better future, the future where Bella and I could exist together.

But it was gone.

"Edward, please," she pleaded and crumbled in Jasper's arms. "Please. Think of Esme. Of Carlisle."

"I …" I couldn't get more out. I hadn't known I was going to leave before now. But this future looked so sure. I tried to make myself stay, to create a new future.

Alice relaxed a bit in Jasper's arms, and she closed her eyes. "Better," she whispered. The future was gone. I was there in the family picture. But it was changing again now. I no longer stood between Carlisle and Alice; I stood at Bella's side, my arm around her waist, the strange string between us almost visible. I couldn't stop staring at this picture, I couldn't help knowing that the Edward in that picture could never move out of whatever he was in.

I disappeared from the picture again. I was going to leave.

"Is that … Is that all the futures?" I asked. "Only those two?"

"Edward," Alice whispered, and she looked at me with such childish eyes. As if she was scared. As if I was hurting her. I was. I could see it in her thoughts. She didn't want a future without me in it. Her brother. "Don't leave. There must be another alternative."

"There isn't," I said.

Alice suddenly straightened in Jasper's arms. "Then choose her! choose us!" she screamed, and I saw something wild in her eyes, something I had never seen in Alice's eyes before.

It was madness. Her mind was ripping itself apart in her urge to keep both Bella and I with her, but she knew she couldn't have both of us. She would have to choose.

"Don't do this!" she cried and reached for me with hands like claws. Her fingers bored into my skin as if she was trying to hold me there. She wasn't going to let go, I could see that. "Don't leave us!" she yelled. Her eyes sparkled at me with the most sad light in the world. "Don't leave me." The whisper made my head swirl, and I looked at Jasper and Emmett. They looked back with troubled eyes. I could hear their thoughts, but I didn't want to. I didn't want to hear it.

I fought Alice's grasp and won. She stared at me. "I'm sorry, Alice. I don't know what to do."

I left and wandered into the forest.

-

I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want to leave my family; but what other alternative did I have? If I stayed, I would be a prisoner of something I didn't understand.

I was furious with this Bella girl. Who was she to drive me away from my home and my family; from where I truly wanted to be? No, I wouldn't let her. I could leave and go back to Forks. When Bella came to visit, I could go to Alaska. That could work. Alice would be angry and blame me for whatever problems would come out of it, would blame me of Bella's misery; the misery she would have no right to have.

But I wouldn't leave. It was my family. I was determined to make this work. I would leave. But I wouldn't disappear.

I suddenly felt the thoughts of someone's mind, and I knew that Tanya was coming. I turned to face her, though I knew what she had to say. Well, she was going to be sorry.

I looked at her with dark eyes she approached. I crossed my arms. "No," I said before she could get to speak. She frowned.

"Please, just hear me out."

"I already have."

"Please," she begged.

I looked away, not willing to show any interest in what she was saying.

"Edward, show some compassion," Tanya growled, and she was acting against anything I would ever expect of her. "You're not only hurting Bella, you're hurting the whole family, leaving scars that might never heal! How can you be so selfish?"

I shrugged and looked at her with as much cold as I could manage. "It's my choice. Besides, who are you to decide who I like?"

"I'm not to decide that!" she snapped. "But I can see that you're laying all your force into _not_ liking her! Why would you do that, Edward? I would have never expected that of you!" I saw shame in her mind. She was ashamed of me. Because of Bella. Because of that infinite little disturbance.

"It's my business." I looked at her, looked into her eyes. They were cold. Colder than I had ever seen them. And her mind was even colder. I could see her perspective of Bella: lovable and loyal, trustable. Everything a sister and friend should have. A kind person that one would be a fool not to like. I saw it all; the protection Tanya felt for her, the need to make her happy. I stared at her. "How did she do that?" I whispered. "How did she brainwash you like that?"

"Brainwash me?" Tanya shouted. "Are you totally out of your mind?"

"She's made all of you her … Her puppets!" I growled. "I won't be that! I can see it! I can see how you're willing to do anything for her!"

Her face grew soft and kindhearted. "Edward, that's what family is like. You would do the same for any of us, wouldn't you?"

"It's not the same!" I stated. "This is different! It's as if … As if …" I couldn't explain it: most thoughts and emotions couldn't just be explained. "It's how you all feel about her. It's frightening! As if you're all attached to her somehow." I shook my head.

"Edward, I …" She stepped closer and gently touched my arm. "I can't explain," she whispered. "Bella isn't like anyone or anything I've ever met before. If something were to happen to her …" She shook her head. "The thought is excruciating." She looked at me, and she scowled. _Don't be so arrogant! It's a nice feeling, too!_

"I doubt that," I murmured.

"Please, Edward. Give her a chance."

"No," I growled. "I'm not going to give her a chance. I'm going to hunt, say goodbye and then leave for Forks."

"No!" she growled furiously. "You can't do that to the family! It will tear us apart! How do you think Carlisle will react? Esme? Rosalie?"

"Goodbye, Tanya," I cut her off. "Go back to the others. I won't listen to anymore of this."

I ran away from her, but her thoughts were shouting at me.

_Coward! You're ripping this family apart, all because of your stubbornness! Coward! You can't run from these things! You can't run from your responsibility! I always thought you smart, Edward. I guess I was wrong._

-

I sat in the middle of a terrible mess. The trees were barely trees anymore, splintered apart as they were. The rocks were crushed, the ground totally destroyed; just a hole.

I felt everything I had struggled for my whole, immortal life fall apart. Maybe they were all right. Maybe I should give Bella a chance.

But the way everyone attached themselves to her. If she left, they would feel a hole that needed to be filled. A little hole, it might be, but big enough for them to want to be around her as much as possible. The Denalis loved her. She was their missing link. And my part of the family, the Cullens, adored her, all well on their way to love her, too. And Alice already did. Maybe more than anyone else.

And even thought I couldn't read her mind, I was sure Bella didn't know her effect on her surroundings. She was just Bella. Just Bella.

I remembered Alice's visions. The one picture of our family; sadness ruled it. It was visible in all the faces. But in the other one – the one where I had my arm around Bella's waist – everyone was happy. I was happy. And Bella was. She was smiling in that picture, smiling as she had never done before. And I knew that Bella wasn't just Bella. She was _our_ Bella. My family's Bella. And she could be my Bella.

I tried to picture it; holding her, letting the strange scent fill me, the sensation of having her that close. Even the thought of being close to her had part of my mind urging to find her.

I growled and snapped out of the picture. I couldn't have myself relying so much upon anyone, least of all her. It was too dangerous, especially because she didn't know the power she had. But maybe that was for the best. Who knew what she would do if she knew?

_Bella is not the 'thirst-for-power' kind of person,_ I thought. But still. It was better if she didn't know. That could make her do all kinds of irrational and messed up things. I suddenly realized that she wouldn't _like_ having that kind of power. I smiled. She was really something special.

I scowled again. Even when she wasn't near me, when I didn't have her smell in my nose, she was slowly converting me. Not even knowing.

"What happened here?"

I shouldn't know this voice so well; I shouldn't caress every tone and change in it, ever shape.

"Bella?" I looked up to find her standing a few steps away. I got to my feet and jumped out of the crater I'd created in my rage. "What are you doing here?"

"Not punishing the forest," she answered and looked around. I could smell her now; it was intoxicating.

I held my breath.

"Actually, I went out to hunt. I found your trail, but I wondered why you were alone. Didn't you leave with Emmett, Jasper and Alice?" She looked at me with worried eyes. I couldn't figure out this worry; there was so many shades, so many sides to it, it was agonizing.

"Yea," I murmured. "But I left to hunt." I looked at her with stone-face. "I'm leaving for Forks soon."

"I didn't think you were leaving so soon," Bella said, looking confused. "Wouldn't Esme have told me?"

"I'm the only one leaving," I answered and fought very hard not to show any concern at all.

She stared at me. I noticed her eyes were golden, no longer that orange color. Golden. It suited her.

"It's because of me, isn't it?" she asked in a low voice. She shook her head and stepped closer to me. "Edward, if I have insulted you in any way, tell me! I want to make it up to you! Anything!" Her eyebrows were pointing up, making her look like a helpless child.

"It's not something you've done," I murmured.

"Then what is it?" she whispered.

"It's something you're _doing_." I gritted my teeth and edited: "Or something you're might _going _to do."

"Then tell me," she pleaded. "Then I can stop doing it!"

I shook my head. "You can't do anything about it. If you tried, you would have to stop being you."

"You don't like my personality?" she asked.

I winced at the sight of the hurt in her eyes. I understood Tanya. I understood all of them. This strange emotion of protection that this girl left in all of us. It was aching to see her hurt.

"Don't worry yourself with this, Bella," I said. "There's no need to do that."

"Yes there is," she murmured. "There's plenty. You're my family. At least, that's what I want you to be."

"Then stop wanting that," I ordered harshly in a sudden burst of anger. How could I both want to give her exactly what she wanted and still not?

"I can't," she whispered and looked at the ground. The silence dragged on between us. I looked at her, her weak shoulders, the aura of hurt and defeat. I turned to leave. I couldn't watch her anymore. "Will I see you again?" she asked, and I turned again.

I shouldn't have.

Her eyes were so pleading, she nailed me in place. As I stared into her eyes, I realized how hard it would be to leave. Even though I'd been fighting her, she was winning. Maybe part of me was letting her; maybe it would be truly easier just to let whatever was trying to bind me bind. It was already there: the string, the bond. I could see it shape around us, between us, growing stronger. I couldn't fight it if I stayed. Her scent, her voice, the look of her smile; I could live without that. It would be hard, but I could. But her mind. Her words. Her expressions. I wasn't sure if I could live without that.

I couldn't answer her. How could I hurt her further by telling her my plans? How could I turn around and walk away from her, knowing it probably would be the last time I saw her. And if I _did_ see her again, it would be so much harder to leave again.

Something flickered through her eyes. I saw that I wasn't the only one nailed in place. She was, too.

I looked away, frowning at the situation.

"Can't you stay just a little time longer?" she asked.

"I …" It would make everyone happier. I could stay just a little time longer, couldn't I? Without it being completely impossible to leave. Forever.

I could feel the agony, just at the thought. I shouldn't stay.

"I'll stay. Just a little time longer."

I looked up to see her face shining with a dazzling smile. The most magnificent smile I'd seen on her angel face yet.

"Nice!" she said, and I heard victory in her voice. I was sure I had just done a terrible mistake, but I couldn't bring myself to regret it.

-

I wasn't in the mood of speaking with anyone, but of course that was inevitable. Alice had, of course, already told everyone, so when I returned, the house was on its head, just waiting for me to ambush. Of course, there was no ambushing me.

"Edward!" Esme gasped when I came in. She threw her arms around me, and I hugged her warmly.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to leave."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Jasper turn to look at Alice, and she nodded.

"What changed your mind, Edward?" Alice asked. "You seemed so … sure."

She was better – the madness was gone, but the conflict was still raging inside her. I wondered how her inner fight would turn out.

I shrugged. "I'm not sure," I answered.

Rosalie sighed. "What an answer," she murmured. I scowled at her.

"I'll stay. But I still think we should be going soon." I looked at Carlisle, and he nodded.

"Already?" Kate asked. "It feels as if you just came here."

"We'll see each other," Rosalie assured her. She scowled at me. "I won't let my brother screw my life up."

I rolled my eyes. "Then it's settled," I stated, and Carlisle noted.

I smiled. Bella's infliction on me would soon be stopped.

-

"Son, I sense something's wrong. What is it?" Carlisle asked. He'd taken me hunting, and I had known he wanted to talk to me about something, but he'd kept the details hidden.

As I didn't answer, he continued. "What is it with Bella that makes you have to leave?" he asked.

I shook my head. "She's … frightening."

"Frightening?" he asked and raised his eyebrows. "Bella?"

"I know it sounds ridiculous, but I see how she's turning all of your minds around." I sighed. "And she's turning mine around, too. I can't let her do that."

"There's more to this," Carlisle stated. "Tell me everything."

I had always relied upon Carlisle, always seen him as the most wise person I knew. I wanted to tell him everything, to listen to his advice and learn from it.

"In Alice's mind, there's only two ways this can work out. Either I leave, or …"

"Or what?" Carlisle asked.

"She saw Bella and I together. As a couple. Like you and Esme." I shook my head, trying to clear it, but the image of me and Bella was so strong. Because I wanted her to be _my_ Bella. I wanted to run right back to the house and stay with her. Stay with her forever. To never leave her side, to never hurt her again or let anything hurt her. But I couldn't. It was too dangerous.

Carlisle's face softened. "Why would you choose to run away than to be with Bella?" he asked.

"I could see it in her vision. How I wouldn't be able to leave if I let myself get into that sphere," I answered. "I can feel it now.

"Edward, if you and Bella were together, why would you even need to leave?" he asked.

"I just don't like to be trapped like that," I answered.

"Trapped?" I looked at him with surprise as he suddenly laughed. "Edward, you wouldn't be trapped."

"Yes I …"

I stopped. In his mind, he was showing me the affection he held for Esme, the love. And even though he needed to be with her, he wasn't trapped. He was happier in her presence, freer. As if everything made sense, as if everything was easier.

"It wouldn't be like that for me," I murmured.

"And tell me exactly why it shouldn't."

I shook my head and gritted my teeth. "Because Bella doesn't hold that kind of affection for me."

I was surprised at the words. I hadn't known them until that moment. But I recognized the truth in them. That was what was truly holding me back; not only the fear for not being free, for not being able to leave. The fear for her not to feel the same way about me.

"Don't be so sure," he requested. "Love is a strange thing, and you can't read her mind. Stay and see how things may go. Remember, Alice saw you two together. I believe there's a pretty strong chance that Bella might feel the same way about you."

I looked up at him, and he was smiling. I nodded and smiled back. "Thank you," I murmured. "Though I'm not so sure myself."

-

I hadn't seen Bella since she convinced me to stay. I knew she'd been back, but I hadn't seen her. Maybe she was avoiding her. I deserved that. Still, I felt hurt. And I wanted to find her and tell her that I was sorry, and once and for all make up for everything. Try to act normal with her, try to show her that I didn't hate her.

Alice was smiling at me as I left the house, and I felt my stomach ache and writhe as I saw the visions in her head; the family picture with me and Bella, Bella in my room, smiling, the light behind her making her skin shine just the tiniest bit.

She was far from the house. Her trail was hours old, and it was long. I followed it for some impressive time before knowing that I was nearing the end.

I wondered why Bella would need to come so many miles away from the house. That was when I heard it.

A thudding. Not like anything I had ever heard before. Like something was constantly snapping, fighting. Was Bella in trouble?

_Yes!_

The word struck me. I shivered both on the inside and on the outside.

I could hear her. I could hear her thoughts. It was her. It was for so much less than a second; just one word, then nothing. But it was enough. Her mind was so beautiful, so magnificent. I felt like my heart would pound.

I ran toward her, making as much noise as I could, telling her that I was coming.

"Who's there?" she shouted, but it took only a second before she recognized me – maybe by my running. "Edward? What are you doing here?"

I found her standing in the shadow of two trees. She stared at me with wide eyes. The excitement in my mind wasn't gone. Maybe I could hear more.

"I was worried why you weren't back yet," I answered. "I wondered if you were avoiding me."

She came closer with a strange smile. "Avoiding you? Tell me, did we switch places?"

I smiled, and she froze in place, her eyes fixated on me, staring.

"What?" I asked, worried.

She shook her head. "Nothing," she answered. Then her mood turned sad. "You're leaving soon. For Forks."

I nodded. "People will notice. Especially me and my sisters and brothers. We're in high school, remember?" I winked at her, trying to make her more comfortable, trying to make her see that I wasn't just unkind.

She seemed intrigued by my sudden mood shift. I understood that. It must be very confusing for her. I frowned.

"I hope I can come visit," she said.

My frown intensified. The excitement over hearing her thoughts was gone. She thought I didn't want her in Forks. Of course, I hadn't earlier.

"Esme invited you, didn't she? She would be very sad if you didn't come."

She smiled weakly. "I guess so." She looked at the sky. "I'll be going back soon. Are you coming?" She gazed at me, and I saw some kind of hope in her eyes. Even though I wanted very much to follow her, I shook my head.

"I'm coming later. I just need to … Be alone."

She nodded, her mouth turning down. "See ya."

I waved as she ran away, and I felt a smile spread on my face. I was sure my heart would start to pounder.

I had been happy my entire immortal life. When I'd seen the love between couples, a love so strong, I had tried not to feel anything, and I thought I didn't. But really, I had been jealous. I had been happy enough to have a reason to live. I had had my family.

But now I had something that was even more worth living for. Something that overshadowed every star of happiness that had filled my life before. There was only that something that really mattered. Everything else mattered, too, but I could live without that. But this something … It was a meteor. A sun.

A Bella.

My Bella.

---------------

I really enjoyed writing this chapter! You have no idea! And I'm pretty sure I was in the characters. I liked that Alice got to be more freaky than usual. I hope you guys understand my story better now, and especially Edward's decisions.

Next chapter is from Bella's pov.

By the way, I'm not sure I got Bella right, but I hope so.


	14. Chapter 14

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND A MERRY TWILIGHT!

Here's the next chapter :)

Before you go on, I just have one thing to ask of you guys concerning the next chapter: _Please don't kill me!_

The next chapter will be written from a different pov. Jacob's. Yes. You read it. Jacob. The dog. The annoying dog. Will be in Newborn. Yes. "-.- How I loathe myself.

And this is going to be the only chapter from Jacob's point of view – I hope! -

Well, enjoy this chapter from Bella's pov. There's going to go some time before you guys see her again.

14. AMBITION

I felt jumpy all the way home – it was as if Edward's eyes was still boring into my neck, and I couldn't get away quickly enough. Still, I couldn't help wondering what his motive for finding me could possibly have been. He seemed different. He'd even smiled. Maybe he didn't hate me, maybe he would stop acting like a freak and come around. Maybe he'd be friendly, maybe we could have proper conversations.

All these thoughts made my head swirl, and it didn't help the jumpy-thing.

When I came back to the house, I saw Alice sit on the terrace. She was glancing dreamingly at the sky, looking more happy than she had been in a while. As soon as I came near, she sprang to her feet and came to greet me.

"Bella! Finally!" As Alice hugged me, it was as if there was a double meaning in her words that I couldn't figure out.

"I wasn't away for that long," I noted, but she ignored me.

"We're leaving soon, Bella," Alice murmured as she stepped back. "I'm really going to miss you."

"Then why did you say 'finally'?" I asked oblivious.

She shook her head. "That was for something different." She looked seriously at me. "Will you come and visit us soon?"

I smiled. "Of course. But are you sure you're not tired of me?" I laughed.

"No, come as soon as possible!" Alice grabbed my shoulders and was suddenly very, very serious. I stared at her.

"Ow, Alice," I mumbled, even though it didn't hurt.

"Oh, sorry." She stepped back. "Where's Edward?" Before I could answer, she got that absent gleam in her eyes, and she smiled. "He's on his way."

She left me and ran inside, calling Esme's name. I turned expectantly, wishing Edward would hurry. He didn't come as quickly as I would have hoped for, though, and I walked back inside.

"Bella," Esme called. "There you are. I was worried."

I smiled at her. "You didn't need to."

"I'll look forward for your visit," she said and hugged me.

"Me too," Emmett laughed behind me and rubbed by hair. "So much."

I waved his hand away and grinned. "In your dreams, Emmett."

"My dreams have a way of coming true," he teased.

"Sure they do."

I smiled and turned to Esme. "I'm really going to miss you all." I saw a flicker run over Carlisle's face as I said _all_, but I didn't put any thought to it. "I hope I can visit soon."

Carlisle smiled and walked over to us. "You're welcome any time, Bella."

"Are you sure it's smart?" Rosalie suddenly asked. Everyone looked at her. "I mean, her father." She shrugged.

"Oh," I murmured.

"It's your decision," Carlisle said.

"Oh, Bella, please come!" Alice pleaded, and I turned to look at her. There was something desperate in her look, and I smiled shakily.

"Of course, Alice."

"Are you sure?" Rosalie asked, and I nodded. She smiled and came to my side. "Then I'm looking forward to see you." She hugged me and then stepped aside to take Emmett's hand.

In that moment, Edward walked in. I fought not to look at him; I knew I would be caught up staring into his eyes. So I concentrated on saying goodbye.

Yet, it came to the point when Edward and I stood in front of each other.

"I'll see you soon," he said.

All I could get out was a whispery: "Yes."

He smiled that lovely, crooked smile before he turned and walked over to Alice. Alice smiled at him, something I hadn't seen her do for a long time. There was forgiveness in that look. I couldn't understand what they had been arguing over, but I was glad that they had solved it.

And then they left.

I felt my heart sink, and I sighed.

"Wow, that's quiet," Kate noted.

"Get used to it," Irina laughed and turned to me. "So when are you going?"

I shrugged. "Not yet, anyway. I mean, they just left."

Tanya smiled at me. "But things seem to be working out, aren't they?" She moved closer to me, and whispered very, very low, the others couldn't hear: "I talked with Edward."

Then she turned back to the others and became part of the conversation. I felt frozen inside. Edward was only suddenly friendly to me because of Tanya?

I felt something tear at me inside, and I stepped back.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Eleazar asked.

I shook my head. "I just need a little while alone."

"What do you mean? You just –" Kate began, but I was already gone.

-

I ran for a very long time. I ran for so long, I wondered if I was out of the state. It was darkening when I cared to look at my surroundings. I was angry. Angry at myself for believing that Edward could possibly like me. No, Tanya had to talk to him, of course.

I destroyed a rock in my agony, and then screamed loudly. I wondered if I was near a city and if they would hear me.

But I didn't care. I ran further on – away. Of course I was going to come back – of course. But I just needed to be alone for a while. Alone with some quiet.

I didn't keep track on time, but I was pretty sure that more than a day had passed. I knew my family must worry – but they could just call Alice to check on me. Of course Edward wouldn't care. He'd maybe pretend to, but deep down, he would hope that I'd stay away.

"You seem kind of depressed."

The voice was familiar, but at first I didn't recognize it. Rough and firm. Then I made the connection, and I turned with a grin on my face that I hadn't expected, but also with my body ready for a fight.

"James?"

Then I saw that Victoria wasn't there. It was just James and Laurent.

"Hello, Bella," James laughed.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"We just thought we'd stop by," Laurent answered and winked. "We figured you might have gone north."

"Clever," I commented dryly.

"So what's wrong, Bella?" James asked seriously. "Have you just been wandering around all this time? You didn't meet any other vampires."

"Actually, I did," I answered with a little smile.

"But you couldn't stand them, either?" Laurent teased.

"Don't taunt me," I laughed.

"Tell us," James said.

I smiled. "I met other vampires like me."

"Really?" Laurent asked interested. "Amazing."

I smiled. "Yes, they are pretty amazing," I answered. That was when it pierced through my heart; I missed my family, and they must be worrying sick about me. How could I just do that to them, not even finding a phone to call them?

"But you didn't want to stay?" James asked.

"I'm with them," I answered. "I'm just on a detour right now."

"Hmm," James murmured and rubbed his chin.

"Exactly my words, James," Laurent commented.

I grinned. "So what about Victoria?" I asked harshly, and my grin turned into a grimace.

"Of course, she wasn't happy that we went to find you," James answered. "But she'll be okay, and we'll return. We just wanted to know if you were all right."

My face smoothed. "I am all right," I said quietly. "More than all right."

"Good," Laurent said. "Just tell us anytime you wanna switch back to food." He laughed at his own joke, and I pounded him on the shoulder.

"So where do you live now?" James asked.

"In Alaska," I answered with a smile. "We're six vampires who live together."

Laurent raised his eyebrows. "_Six_?" he asked. "Don't you get into fight a lot?"

I shook my head. "No. We don't. But we have seven more members that lives longer to the south, but still in the north."

"Really?" James asked. "Can we meet your family?"

I pointed my lips, not sure if this would be smart. Then I nodded. "I don't see why a short visit should hurt anyone. Come!"

-

"Bella!" Tanya yelled before the house was in sight. Yes, they'd called Alice.

"I'm coming!" I shouted back.

I heard her run toward us, and I sped up. It didn't take many seconds before we stood in front of each other. I was barely stopped before she slammed her arms around me.

"Don't you dare _ever_ to do that again! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

We laughed together at the joke, and then I turned toward James and Laurent who politely had stopped a few feet away. "This is James and Laurent," I introduced. "James and Laurent, this is Tanya."

"Nice to meet you," James greeted and came closer.

Tanya smiled. "You too," she answered. She send me a glance from the corner of her eye, but I ignored her.

"Come on, you should meet the rest of the family!" I said, and we ran on for the house.

The others stood outside and waited. Carmen and Eleazar looked wary, but Kate and Irina was curious, I could tell. I waved.

"This is James and Laurent," I said again, pointing. "This is Kate, Irina, Carmen and Eleazar."

They greeted each other in polite forms, and I felt strangely happy that they met each other. It was like some sort of closure.

-

Laurent seem to really like the others, and they liked him, too. Especially Irina. James was more cautious and stayed by my side. It was nice to talk with him again. I had to admit, I'd missed him.

"You really seem to like it here," he said.

"Yes. I'm happy." I smiled at him. "You could change your lifestyle and come live here."

He laughed harshly. "I don't think so Bella." Then his eyes sparkled. "But thanks for the invitation."

There. At least one person liked me. James had taken me into his coven without any arguing. But Victoria and Edward both seemed to hold some sort of grudge against me.

"When are you leaving?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Tomorrow," he suggested.

I nodded, not feeling as sad about this as with the Cullens. If they stayed, there probably would come a fight because of the tension – so many vampires together was a bit risky. It wasn't for us vegetarians, but as soon as vampires as James was there, things went differently. They had a harder time controlling their temper.

"Bella, can I talk with you?" Laurent asked. I nodded surprised as he led me away from the house. I could feel eyes watching us, especially Irina and James.

"So what's up, Laurent."

"I was just wondering," he answered and sighed. "Do you think … Do you think someone like me could adjust to this sort of life?"

I stared at him. "You wanna become a vegetarian?" I asked.

He shrugged and looked seriously at me. "I just want to know that the … Er … Possibility is there."

I suddenly understood what he was thinking about, though he wasn't at all saying it. I smiled. "Irina really likes you." I shrugged. "I'm sure you could stay, if you really wanted to change. Though I don't think it would work if you kept killing people."

He frowned. "You're too observant." I grinned. "I'll try it. I'll try to hunt those damn animals."

I smiled. "It's not that bad."

"Sure it isn't," he growled as he started to walk back to the house.

"So you'll try?" I asked.

"Yes," he answered.

"But you're leaving tomorrow, right?"

"Yes."

"So you're going to try to change while being in the present of Victoria?"

He flinched. "Yes."

I laughed. "Ouch. That's really some ambition."

"Shut up and support me."

--

I know, crappy chapter, crappy temporarily goodbye to Bella.


	15. Chapter 15

Hi everybody! Hope you had a nice new year evening! Welcome to 2009! Here's another crappy chappy from me! Happy newborn!

15. THIS-IS-JUST-ANOTHER-NIGHTMARE

Time didn't exist anymore. It had evaded. Left was only blurry pictures that seemed to have a red glow and pieces of sentences.

I therefore didn't know if it was fast or slowly that my body was ripped apart and changed without my permission. I could feel every bone in my body burn and bend. I growled in agony only to find that it was a real growl. I felt my hands on the ground, only it wasn't hands. I tried to call for my dad, but all that came out of my mouth was a furious, frightening snarl.

I looked around. Everything seemed clearer and smaller, as if I had suddenly grown. I was in the forest.

Then I noticed the voices.

_Jacob, take it easy, listen!_

_Don't hurt yourself!_

_Try to focus!_

_Keep your mind clear!_

_Don't give in to the anger!_

It was so confusing with all the voices. I seemed to recognize them, but I couldn't focus on that now.

_Shut up!_ I growled in my thoughts, but they didn't. They stopped talking to me, but they didn't stop talking. But they thought about other things. They were concerned for me, things like that. Then I recognized Embry among them.

_What's going on?_ I asked shakily. I tried to look around to find out where they were, but I collapsed on my feet. I looked down. _What am I?_

Then I noticed a huge wolf from the corner of my eye.

_It's me, Jacob! Sam!_

My instincts told me to growl, so I did.

_Easy, Jacob_, Sam cautioned.

_What's happening?_ I snarled. _What's going on?_ I tried to talk, but all that came out was howling and snarling. I saw myself in Sam's mind, and I shut it. I was a huge, brown wolf.

_What the …_

_Take it easy, Jake_, Embry said.

_What's going on?_ I howled and began to run around on the place, trying to find a way back to my real body, thinking it might be a dream. Just a nightmare.

_Jacob, it's not a nightmare_, the 'Sam' said.

_Oh, great, I'm insane._

I howled once more and growled a few times, not knowing what was going on. I was clearly in a wolf-form, but why? And _how_? I had felt my body change, I had felt my bones shape in different ways.

_You're still human, Jacob. Right now you're just not capable of turning back again. Not yet._

_What are you babbling about?_ I growled.

Many minds touched mine purposely, and everyone explained at the same time, showing their view, their experiences, showing me what I was becoming. A werewolf. A werewolf that was supposed to protect La Push and other humans. But against what? They wouldn't tell me. Not yet. They kept the information from me, and I couldn't find it in their minds. I found myself even more frustrated.

And so the circled formed.

-

Three days passed before I was capable of beginning to shake the anger off. They said it was the first step to becoming my human form again. They had begun to share information with me, and I knew what I was supposed to protect the humans against: vampires. It sounded so ridiculous, but yet I had to take it serious. And especially because of the glimpses of a vampire on our territory I'd seen in Sam's mind.

Sam was the leader of the … Pack. We were six wolves, and they said that more was to join. It was the vampire Sam had seen that had made the process begin.

Sam, Embry, Jared and Paul were my fellow wolves, but they were expecting Quil to join soon, too.

I was finally in enough control that I could begin to think of my dad, Billy, and I began to try to change back. The others helped me, and I soon found myself human again, and, unbelievably, the voices were gone!

I saw the wolf that was Embry come toward me with clothes in his mouth, and I realized I was naked. I quickly got the clothes on. Then I saw Sam approach in his human form.

"Jacob, we need to talk."

And then he told me everything. Every myth I had ever known about 'the cold ones' and the 'spirit wolves' were true, and I was told that there were more legends that I would hear of later.

"Now, Jacob, there's a coven of vampires living near us."

"What?" I shouted.

"Yes. The Cullens."

"But I've never heard of anyone being mysteriously killed in Forks," I noted.

"They only eat animals," Sam answered. "But we still have a treaty with them that they not enter our land. But a vampire did."

"The vampire girl from your memories?" I asked.

"Yes. That was back when I was still alone. I was surprised to find her, and that far into our lands. And to find her where she was."

I stared at him, feeling like I knew what was coming. "Where was she?"

"She was at your house," he answered. "And I don't think it was a coincidence, due to your bloodline." I nodded. I'd been told about my great grandfather.

"What did she want?" I asked.

"I don't know," Sam answered. "But when we're enough wolves, we're going to see the Cullens. It's going to be dangerous; they won't take it lightly that we just march in on their land. But it will be necessary."

I nodded, feeling anger fill me again. One of the vampires had been so near, maybe thinking about killing us, drinking our blood. And whoever that vampire was, it was her fault that I was now in this position.

"Damn bloodsucker," I hissed.

---

Okay, this was actually pretty fun to write :P But it was still more challenging because I didn't enjoy it as much, and I think you guys can feel it, can you not?

You guys ever had an accident with fireworks? Well, I've never tried it before, so it came as quite a shock when it happened to me! Seriously, my foot was hurt and my ear had that ring tone for so long, I was afraid it might be damaged forever! That would be so sad!

By the way: The reason I'm updating this late is because I got so into writing my Avatar-fanfic ^^ If you don't watch Avatar, you should! Yea, and then I read a lot of fanfics, too xD I had a pretty nice walk into the new year – except for the accident part. Hope your evening went smoothly.


	16. Chapter 16

Yay! Another chapter! Edward's pov. Enjoy!

TREATY

"She's back home," Alice announced, and everyone breathed out heavily in relief. "She brought back some friends, though."

I watched in Alice's mind the two men that had followed Bella back to Denali. I wondered what role they played in her life. Laurent and James. Was anything romantic going on between them?

I knew I shouldn't care, but I knew I did, and I had decided to just let myself feel and care and let the chips fall where they may. Alice was, of course, ecstatic, which made my occasionally think about going back to my former behavior, but then I remembered how everyone had reacted, especially Alice, and I knew I couldn't do that. Jasper wouldn't let me in any case. He'd force Bella and me together in order to keep Alice happy. Funny how things always seemed to work out as Alice wanted them to.

"Who is it, my dear?" Esme asked.

"It's those James and Laurent guys," Alice answered.

Carlisle's thoughts grew dark, but I shook my head. "Victoria isn't there."

"They've left already. They apparently just wanted to see if she was okay," Alice announced, a new vision in her head.

"That's probably for the best," Jasper stated, nodding.

I agreed. The thought of Victoria coming back to haunt Bella, even though I didn't know her, was terrifying. It didn't sound as if she liked Bella at all, and if they met now, it could be dangerous. Especially because Bella's powerful newborn abilities were beginning to run out – in a few months, she would be like any other vampire. I didn't like it. That would put her in a position of weakness and fragility. She would be an easy target.

Alice was suddenly very still. She stared into nowhere, her face without any expression. Her eyes were wide.

"Alice?" Jasper asked.

I saw into Alice's mind, and I could hear her cheer for the picture. I was sitting in the couch in our living room, but I wasn't alone – of course I wasn't. Bella was there, and she was sitting with me, on my lab, and I had my arms wrapped around her, my face hidden in her back. She was smiling a genuine smile, and her eyes were closed as she leaned against me.

Of course Alice loved the vision. It was better than all other visions she had had, and I could see that it was already starting to get certain. She had at least one new vision with me and Bella every day – every time I began to think about my feelings for the brunette and let myself sink deeper into the love I was starting to feel. And I could see that I was going to fall even more. The Edward in Alice's visions was so different, I could barely recognize myself. I was happier than ever, and there was an atmosphere of love around Bella and I in those visions, much like the love that Alice and Jasper, Carlisle and Esme and Emmett and Rosalie shared. But still different. Different in a way I was eager to find out about.

"Alice?" Jasper called again, and this time she responded. She smiled at him, and I saw relief in his mind. "Alice, are you okay? What did you see?"

Alice shook her head and looked at me from the corner of her eye. "It's not important – not now, anyway. But certain things are going to work out very well."

Only Carlisle and Rosalie noticed the way she looked at me.

_What did she see?_ Carlisle asked me mentally, but I just shook my head. I could hear the curiosity in Carlisle's thoughts, but he tried to keep it to himself, and I tried to keep out of it.

_Bella_, Rosalie thought, smart as she was. _Bella is coming_.

Though the words wasn't quite true, I felt a thrill run down my spine at the thought of having Bella coming to visit.

"So no worries, then?" Emmett asked from the living room – he was watching a game.

"None at all, Emmett," Rosalie answered as she walked into the living room. I left the kitchen to go play on my piano – something was forming in my head. Something small, but it was growing louder. It was a symphony, a soft tone stretching and bending, making the most beautiful melody.

I sat down and began to play it, tried to make out the shape of it, the edges. Everything was so complex, so mysterious. But so beautiful. As my fingers moved lightly over the keys, and my foot moved the pedal up and down, I knew what I was playing. I was playing _her_. And I didn't want to stop. I didn't want to ever stop. But I had to. For even though I wanted to, I couldn't play forever. And the song needed to end.

"What is that?" Esme whispered as she came to stand by my side. I hadn't realized the others were listening, I hadn't heard their thoughts.

"I think it's a lullaby," I answered.

Alice came to stand by the piano, and as I touched the last key and let the tone ring, I began anew, correcting the things that needed to be corrected, and as I played, Alice sang the tones in a soprano that made the melody even more beautiful.

-

"Are you planning on ever getting away from that piano?" Rosalie asked the next day, as I had been sitting at the piano the whole night, playing the same melody, ignoring the fact that Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper was starting to get tired of it. But Esme thought it was lovely, Alice loved it and knew what it was, and Carlisle was at the hospital.

"Not at the moment," I murmured.

Rosalie hissed, annoyed.

Alice, though, had the mind to make me stop, as she suddenly saw a new vision. At first I was surprised, because I hadn't really thought anything new about Bella, but then I realized that it wasn't about me. Bella was standing in our entre, and we were all surrounding her.

_Bella's coming_, Alice thought, and I knew exactly how she felt, not only because I could read her thoughts, but because I felt the same way. Like a little child waiting for Christmas, and when Christmas finally arrived, there were still so long till the presents.

Alice looked at the vision of Bella and I in the couch again. Then it suddenly disappeared, and though Alice desperately tried to find it again, it was gone, only to be seen in her memory.

Then Alice was filled with unbelievable rage, all concerning one person.

Me.

_**Why**__?_ she screamed. _Why are you doing this?_ She was suddenly standing beside me and stared at me with furious eyes.

"I didn't decide anything new," I answered. I didn't understand how the future had ended so abruptly.

Alice's face grew blank, then she realized that maybe Bella had decided something, but she hadn't. She was still coming. But now she stood alone in the entre.

Alice tried to see my future, then, but it was black.

"What's going on?" she whispered frantically. "Why can't I see?"

Then I heard something. I heard thoughts. It was a mania of them, a connection, almost like a net. I listened to the thoughts, and then I realized what it was.

"The La Push guards are coming," I growled and stood.

"What?" Rosalie asked, and Emmett was already at our side. Jasper was outside the house, but he was on his way.

I didn't answer, just flipped my telephone from my pocket and clicked for Carlisle.

"Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"Carlisle, come home. The wolves are coming."

"I'm coming," Carlisle just got to say before I closed the phone. I looked at the others. Esme and Jasper had joined us now. "There's no time to waste! They're only minutes away. We'll wait outside. Carlisle's on his way."

"Should we just wait for them?" Rosalie asked.

"I vote we give them what they deserve!" Emmett said, reaching his hand in the air.

"How do you know what they deserve?" Jasper asked through narrowed eyes. "We don't even know why they're here."

"Yes, we do," I growled. "Because of Bella's drift off into La Push.

"So I can't see the future because … They're going to win?" Alice asked in a whisper. I saw Jasper's muscles tighten and knew what he was thinking. We should get away.

"I'm not sure, but I don't think so. The wolves are all young, except for the leader. They're not experienced with this, they've not gotten to adjust to the new way of living yet. One of them has only transformed once."

"Then we should be able to take them down easy," Emmett said.

"That doesn't explain that Alice can't see," Rosalie argued.

"Let's just see how it works out," Esme suggested and began to walk outside. I followed, and so did the others.

As I had predicted, it didn't take long before we could all here the thudding of their paws clawing up the earth. I wondered how long it would take Carlisle to get home, and I listened for his thoughts.

The wolves arrived. They came running out of the forest, huge and … Fluffy. I smiled as I saw us in their minds. I could read confidence in their thoughts – they'd be disappointed, though.

Their leader came forth in his human form, only wearing pants. He was big – I knew that was evident for the wolves in their human form.

"What do you want?" Esme asked, and she stepped forward. She surprised me by taking Carlisle's place, but when I read her mind, I knew I should have expected it. She wouldn't let anyone hurt her family, her kids, and that gave her a determination I would have never expected she could have. In this state, I believed she would even be able to fight.

"You broke the treaty," Sam answered, and the wolves growled and huffed at us.

"We didn't break anything," Jasper said as he stepped forward, but Esme stopped him. I saw something in her mind I had never seen before, and I was intimidated at it at the same time as I was proud.

"A vampire was on our lands!" Sam said.

"It wasn't any of us!" Esme said.

Sam's eyes narrowed, and he looked at us, examining everyone. "Where is your leader?" he asked and snorted. "Did he take the girl away? To protect her?"

"Carlisle is on his way right now," I said.

Sam frowned and then exposed his teeth. "The treaty was broken! Where is the vampire that did it?"

"What makes you think we know her?" Emmett asked.

Sam noticed that Emmett wasn't actually objecting to the fact that we did.

"It doesn't matter if you know her. The treaty includes all vampires; you should have told her she wasn't supposed to be on our lands!"

"How could we know she was going to be there?" Jasper asked, but Esme stopped him again.

"We didn't know who the girl was," Esme said firmly. "But we do now."

Silence washed over the scene, and I heard the wolves think about this. Then I suddenly realized something. One of the wolves lived in the house Bella had visited. I turned to stare at the big, brown wolf, but it didn't notice me. He had his eyes on Esme.

"Say again," Sam growled.

"Her name is Bella," Esme continued. "She was here because she was changed a few months back and wasn't told anything. She was confused and came here because her father lives here, but as he was not there, she went to La Push to find out if an old family friend knew something."

"Billy Black," I finished, and the brown wolf, Jacob Black, looked at me. I stared back into his eyes. Then he turned around, planning to shift to his human form.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Who is she?" Jacob asked as he just seconds later came back, his eyes black. "What was she planning to do?"

"Her name is Bella Swan, she's the daughter of Chief Swan," I answered.

I saw recognition in Jacob's eyes. "So that's why she disappeared," he murmured.

"She came to your house because she wanted to see if there was any information that could help her find out something of Charlie."

"She wasn't very sorry when I caught her there," Sam growled, and Jacob's eyes were even darker now. I felt amused as I looked in Sam's mind. Bella had called him pup. Nice.

"I wouldn't call it that you 'caught' her," I noted, and he stared at me. I smiled. He didn't know of my ability, though he did think: _What, is he a mind reader now? Bloodsucker!_

I was actually pretty impressed with Sam. He'd been the only wolf for years, and he'd done good. He hated us; naturally, we'd done this to him, even though we'd done it without knowing. But he'd come through. That was … impressive.

"Where is Bella now?" Jacob asked.

"She lives in the north," Esme answered.

I noticed Carlisle's thoughts in the distance. He was good at sorting things out. This would be over quickly. But Alice still couldn't see …

"Did any of you change her?" Sam asked.

"No," Esme answered. "We don't know who they were."

"She hasn't killed anybody, either, in case you're wondering." I turned to see Carlisle suddenly standing by Esme's side. Esme turned grateful, and the determination lagged a bit as she knew Carlisle would take over from now.

It was amazing how things suddenly seemed to work out. Carlisle retold them the story, almost with the same words as we had before, but somehow, he brought with him a new aura. Jasper's calming ability did help a lot, because he made them open to what Carlisle had to say – but it seemed that it was easier when it was Carlisle. Maybe Carlisle did have a secret ability after all. Getting people to listen.

"We'll let it pass this time," Sam said. "But if vampires walk on our lands again, there will be consequences."

Carlisle nodded. "We understand."

As the wolves left, I read in their minds their regret and disappointment that there had been no fight. I smiled. They should count themselves lucky. They wouldn't have had a chance.

As the wolves left, Alice got her vision back. I smiled and turned to go back to my piano.

----

Hey, guys, more than 13 chapters more to go :P

I hope you liked this and that it wasn't too disappointing.

Next chapter: BELLA :P BELLA THE NEXT MANY CHAPTERS! ^^

Please review ^^ It makes me so happy and gives me a reason to write xD


	17. Chapter 17

FORKS

Before James and Laurent left, I told them to stay away from Forks and La Push – even though I mentioned the wolves, they said I shouldn't worry about them, but after I genuinely begged them to stay away, they promised sincerely. That was a relief, and as they left, I knew I had protected my friends from at least one danger.

The next day, we were contacted by the Cullens. They told us that the wolves had come, and that they had been many. Ten. I tried to picture it, and I felt fear and pain run up my spine. If anything had happened to them, it would have been my fault; happy Emmett, beautiful Rosalie, tiny Alice, sweet, brother Jasper, passionate Esme, clever and fatherly Carlisle … And Edward.

I sat and stared into the wall as this sunk in. Tanya tried to tell me there was nothing to worry about; it had all been solved. But I knew that if just one vampire entered the lands again, not even one from the family, it would have consequences. And they would be dire. I frowned at this. Anyone could accidently do this. They probably would notice the Cullens first and either contact them or leave, but I hadn't when I came, and another could come from the same angle that I had.

"You wanna train?" Kate asked. She knew that would take my mind of the guilt. I nodded. It would be nice to train with my shield. I was starting to get the feel of it, but it still snapped. And one time I had gone far away from the house to practice further; to make the shield go away, go back into my head. And I was pretty sure Edward had heard my thoughts, and that was exactly why I'd gone away, though it was him that had made me try it. I figured he'd like me better if he could read my mind. Of course, I shouldn't do such a thing if that was the case. Then he would be too selfish to be worth doing it for.

I trained with Irina and Kate. Tanya wasn't in the mood; who was ever in the mood to get electric shocks run up your arm?

As I sat and tried to shape my shield, make it perfect, I thought about the Cullens and if it would even be a good idea for me to go there. If the wolves knew, they would probably try to kill me. My mood blackened noticeably as I realized this. And they wouldn't think it wrong to take some of my family member down, too. They would say it was their own fault. Say I should have never come back.

But then my mind was suddenly fierce determination. I would go see the Cullens, wolves or no wolves. No one could keep me from my family. And if the wolves did come, they would not only have to face the Cullens, they would also have to face me. And that was going to be something.

I began to plan for myself. When would it be okay to go visit them? I couldn't come now. I would have to wait a while. Besides, I liked having some quiet with my Denali family. Eleazar and I played chess a few times every day, and he was really challenging at the same time that he made the game fun. Kate, on the other hand, just took my king and claimed that she'd won, which would make Carmen and Tanya slap her face and cause Irina to smile and me to roll my eyes. Eleazar probably wouldn't even react, and if he did, he'd say: "I can't believe you let a peasant take your king, Bella." And even though I would be annoyed with Kate, I would also love her for being my goofy sister.

As Kate reached out to touch Irina, nothing happened, and I smiled. "Irina, Eleazar, Carmen! Come!" I called. Kate looked at me with curious eyes. "I'll try and see how much I can expand it," I said, and she nodded.

As they came out, I told them what I wanted, and they placed themselves in a circle around me. Kate stood, and I expanded my shield to Tanya, who was closest.

"Touch Tanya," I said, shaping my shield so she wouldn't get into it. I didn't know if she could hurt them if she, too, was inside the shield. That would have to wait for another time.

"Nothing," Tanya said.

I formed my shield as a writhing snake to reach Carmen.

"Touch Carmen," I said.

"Nothing," Carmen said as Kate touched her.

Then I tried to wrap my shield to Eleazar, tried to force it with all my strength, but it was hard, especially because I had to keep Kate out.

Without my permission, Kate touched Eleazar after the double time of what it had taken me to tell her to touch the others.

In less than a second Eleazar was on the ground, and Kate looked at me. I let the shield snap back into place.

"Ouch," Eleazar murmured as he got up.

"Why did you do that?" I asked.

Kate shrugged. "Why couldn't you reach him?" she asked.

I sighed. "I don't know. I guess there's still a lot of practice."

Kate nodded. Then she smiled widely. "Who wanna see Kill Bill?" she asked.

"Me!" Irina exclaimed.

Kate looked expectantly at me, but I grimaced. "A chick killing a lot of people, blood everywhere … Sure." I grinned, and we went inside.

-

A month passed by of peace. I went on hunting trips with my family, didn't meet any humans – not even trails of hikers – or came near any cities, I goofed around with Kate and Irina, played chess with Eleazar, talked with Tanya about everything and I had Carmen to play dress-up with and go shopping for me. Carmen reminded me of Esme in some way; they were both so quiet and loving.

That was when I began thinking about the Cullens again. We hadn't heard from them since the thing with the wolves, and I began to wonder if they were doing all right. Maybe they had been attacked again, and the worst thing had happened …

As soon as the thought occurred to me, I stopped doing what I was in the middle of – hunting – and grabbed the phone Tanya had handed me. I was about to call Alice when the phone rang. I pressed the green button.

"Bella, what's up?" Alice said. "Why did you want to call me?"

Oh. Right. Visions.

"I was just worried," I answered.

"About what?"

"Well, since we haven't heard from you in a while, I thought the wolves might have come back."

"Bella, you're insulting us. Even if they had, we would have taken them down easily."

"So they haven't been there?"

"No." Relief washed through me, and I sighed. "By the way, now I'm talking to you, when are you coming to visit. You haven't changed your mind, I can see that, but I can't see when you'll come."

"Well, I thought you wanted to have some quiet for a while," I answered.

Alice laughed. "We're seven vampires, one of us being Emmett; there's never quiet here. Besides, things are so dull when you have to repeat high school over and over." I could almost imagine her rolling her eyes. "You can come as soon as you want to."

"I could come the day after tomorrow, but-"

"Fine. We'll be waiting."

I smiled. "Of course you will. I'll see you."

"Yes. There's exactly forty-nine hours till we'll see each other."

"So it became clear?"

"Yup," she laughed. I smiled and pressed the red button. Then I hunted one more time before going back to the house.

-

I had said my goodbyes and was on my way to Forks. I already missed my family, but I would see them again soon. Right now my head was filled with memories. What would Edward think when I came? Would he just leave Forks and come back when I left? Maybe that would even be for the best. But I hoped he was there. I hoped I could once again see his face, even though it would be hard as stone and unfriendly. Tanya was no longer there to tell him what to do.

It was hard to come across human trails again, but I kept in there. I forced myself not to hold me breath – I would have to be capable not to kill when I came to Forks. Charlie was there, and even though I probably wouldn't meet him, I should have the strength not to kill him if I did.

Finally, I found their scent, and I followed it till I got to the house.

They were all waiting outside a huge, white house with big windows. Behind it was a river, and it looked so idyllic in the middle of the forest.

I barely made it from the edge of the forest before Alice was at my side, clinging to me. "Hi, Bella! I missed you! Don't take that long next time!"

I laughed, not capable of keeping such a promise, so I didn't respond, just hugger her back.

"Hey, Bella, you up for fun this time?" Emmett asked as he approached me. "Or are you just gonna read all the time again?"

"Sure," I said, and as he started to grin, I added; "reading sounds fun." He scowled at me.

"No it doesn't, and you're no good, either." He smacked my back so I was forced a few steps forward.

"Welcome, Bella," Esme said and held her arms open wide for me to hug her, which I did. I felt strangely like crying as I was in her arms, as if I hadn't been home for a long time and finally was with my mom again.

I refused to be sad and turned to Carlisle with a grin. "Hello, Carlisle –" I began, but before I could go on, he hugged me, too, and there was no more things to say.

"Hey, sis," I greeted Rosalie, and we, too, hugged.

I laughed at Jasper. "What's up, brother?"

"Not so much," he answered with a grin. "Of course, I expect that to change now that you're here." We both laughed, and what I expected to be the last hug was given.

But then I was suddenly facing Edward.

I had, all that time, expected him to not be there when I came. But now he stood there, in front of me, and I didn't know what to do. It would be awkward if I didn't hug him – it would make the edge between us clear. But it was clear enough already. But it just wouldn't be right …

But if I hugged him, it would be really, really …. Weird.

And there he stood with his golden eyes, looking at me with an expression I couldn't understand. Staring into those eyes made me think I should just get it over with, but I couldn't let myself do that.

"Hello, Edward," was all I could mumble, and then I took his hand and shook it. He looked at me with confusion, and I felt everyone staring at me. Inevitably, I had to turn around and face them. I let go of his hand as quickly as I could allow myself, and then I turned, feeling a bit numb. Numb was good. Then I wouldn't feel as embarrassed.

But of course I did. I expected a big, fat blush to warm my cheeks, but nothing came, and I remembered I couldn't blush anymore.

A long second of silence drew by, and though I couldn't bare it, I had to look at them.

Carlisle's face was … Long. It was as if his jaw had fallen several inches without him opening his mouth. Esme looked disturbed or intrigued, which made me quickly, look at Emmett, whom I knew would just find everything amusing. But Alice stood beside him, and I saw the sad expression.

Wanting very much to stop the awkward situation, I tried to say something that could ease it up.

"Let's take a cup of tea," I suggested stupidly, blank of any other thoughts.

"Bella," Emmett said after another excruciating second, "we don't drink tea."

"Uhm … Right," I breathed. Damn it, why didn't I just hug him?

The silence dragged by, and I wanted to run. I wanted to run and never see them again, I wanted to find a nice graveyard where I had something in common with the dead – I wasn't supposed to be alive for starters – and then dig a nice, deep hole where nobody would find me, and then I would lay there till the end of time.

Unfortunately, I couldn't move.

"So," Carlisle said, clearing his throat. "Shall we go inside?"

"Yes, let's," Jasper said.

I sighed and turned, only to find that Edward was still standing behind me. I stared into his eyes for a brief second, then I followed the others. I knew he turned around and stared after me.

"Classic, Bella," Rosalie laughed as she came to my side and wrapped her arm around mine. "It really is going to be fun to have you here, aint it?"

"I really, really hope not," I murmured.

-----

Guys … This chapter … Killed me. The shaking-hands part took me many minutes to write, even if it was just a few lines. How could Steph write a whole book of this?

And to make myself even deader, I let Bella go on about tea, and didn't let Carlisle say: "Shall we go inside." WHY? .

Okay, so I wanted to announce something: since I have already pretty much cleared out what's going to happen in this story – to myself, anyhow – I have decided that I might make a sequel. Just so you know ;) MIGHT xD If I have time. But that's what holidays are for, right?


	18. Chapter 18

The next crappy chappy of a twilight loving shady. xD I know, didn't rime.

-

VISIONS

"Come on, come on, come on!" Emmett growled. I was leaning against the couch where he and Jasper sat and played a game on their X-box. Something with cars.

"Yes!" Emmett shouted when he beat Jasper. Jasper's eyes blackened.

"There's something I don't get," I murmured as I slid down between them. "Why do you have to drive three rounds? Wouldn't it be easier – and quicker – to just … Drive one?"

They stared at me.

"Well, my dear little sister," Emmett said and laid his arm around me. "This is how gentlemen do. We give each other a fair chance to win."

Jasper rolled his eyes, and said: "Besides, it's over too quick if it's just one round."

"Then make the labyrinth longer," I suggested. "Besides, it's called a _race_!"

"She's got a point," Rosalie said from behind us.

"And, for the record, you two aren't very gentlemanly, just so you know." I turned to Emmett. "Especially you."

"Argh, what did I do?" Emmett asked, grinning.

I rolled my eyes. "Jeez, I don't know, tried to fight your little sister all the time." I turned to look at Jasper, and he raised his eyebrows. "Can I race you, brother?" I asked.

"Sure," Jasper said.

"No," Emmett clarified.

I turned to look at Emmett. "Please, Emmett," I said and looked at him with huge dog eyes. He wrinkled his nose. "Come on!"

"Give her the stupid joy-stick," Rosalie said and was suddenly standing right in front of Emmett. She grabbed his hand and pulled him up. I snapped the stick away from him. "Besides, while Bella plays, we can do some playing, too." She grinned at him and played with the V of his shirt.

Emmett grinned back. "Bella, you take your time," he said as he and Rosalie walked toward the stairs.

"Yea, you too," I grimaced. I turned to Jasper. "Are they always like this?"

He just shrugged and pushed play.

It was the most annoying thing I had ever tried in my entire life – immortal, anyway. My reflexes were perfect, but that was a problem. I pushed the buttons so quick and feathery, they didn't even register. I tried several rounds of Jasper-kicks-Bella's-butt games before I was even near getting the hang of it. I wasn't used to having to be this slow – I knew from instinct that I had to depend on my reflexes being sharp, and it felt wrong to try not to be quick.

And then it didn't help that I could hear what was going on upstairs, even though it helped trying to pretend I didn't and focus on something else, like the annoying music from the game. Or talking with Jasper.

I'd noticed Edward had left. I understood why. I might be capable of hearing what was going on upstairs, but to Edward it must be even worse.

"What, finished already?" I asked without looking away from the screen when Rosalie and Emmett came down.

Emmett smirked. "I'd like to get the joy-stick back, Bella."

"No," I answered. "I'm having so much fun – why don't you and Rosalie go have some more of your fun?"

Jasper snickered and Rosalie smiled, and she looked like I actually had gotten a pretty good idea.

"Bella," Emmett said as he walked over to me. "Give me the joy-stick."

"No," I answered and got inches in front of Jasper. I stuck my tongue out in desperation. This was the best I had ever done in the game.

I saw Emmett's hand snap out for the joy-stick, and I quickly moved it, causing my car to hit another car and turn on its back.

"Hey!" I yelled. "What was that for?"

"Come on, Bella, you're not even good."

"Were you good from one day to another?" I asked and glared at him. "I'm playing, and you're not going to stop me. There's nothing you can do."

I saw him smile just the slightest, and he knew that the wait was over, and I knew I couldn't keep my promise anymore.

I let go of the joy-stick and jumped back as Emmett launched for me.

"What, I'm too quick for you?" I teased.

Emmett grinned, and I knew he was having fun. Fine, if getting his butt whipped was what he wanted, well, I wasn't going to stop him. I had my awesome newborn powers, and damn it, I was going to use them.

He threw himself and me, and as I didn't get away fast enough, he nailed me to the ground.

"Get out of here, you two! Think of Esme!" Rosalie shouted.

If we was supposed to think of Esme, we shouldn't even be doing this. But we both got up and tried to push the other one out of door first. I was proud that Emmett was the one that got slid out by me.

As I had the higher ground, I jumped into his chest and knocked him to the ground, but as I did, he grabbed my neck and threw me around. None of us were giving our best – I remembered Victoria turning my head half around several times. He could have easily done that.

I growled and got up in a solid stance before he attacked again, and I exposed my teeth, snarling at him. It was a deep sound in the back of my throat, telling him he was going down.

But so was he telling me. His teeth glistered in the light.

I kicked him in the guts, but he grabbed my thigh and threw me around. I secured my arms around his neck and my left leg I wrapped around his waist and pulled him to the ground, then quickly shifted so that I had the higher ground.

But as I was holding him down, my knee on his back, he suddenly very impressively knocked his head into me left knee, the one that was in his head-area.

I rolled around on the ground, but before I got on my feet again, he was holding me down, his hands on my shoulders, his foot on my legs.

I growled at him and tried to rock myself out of the position, but even though I was stronger than him, he had found a way to turn that against me.

Then I lifted my stomach and caused my whole body to shift, and as he was unprepared, I got the slip I needed to get free.

We were both starting to loosen up. He was grinning widely, and so was I. I enjoyed this fight more than I should. While fighting Victoria, I had been confident and terrified, but right now, I was confident and having fun.

We both tried to get hits and kicks in, tried to grab each other, but none of us got the other for very long, and our fight continued for a long time, but none of us gave up. The fight grew wilder and wilder. Somewhere I heard Esme call for us, but I couldn't listen.

Finally, I kicked Emmett's legs out of my way, sat down on his chest and kept his head down with a hand on his forehead, while I hammered one of my legs on his to keep him in control.

He tried to get free, but I held him there, and after a minute, I grinned widely.

"I won," I stated and laughed. I got up and jumped out of the way, expecting he might try to attack me.

He grinned back at me. "For now. But not the next time."

"Oh, what next time?" I asked, smiling.

"When you're no longer a crazy newborn," he answered and winked. "You're going down."

I rolled my eyes. "That's what you told yourself before this fight, wasn't it?"

"You never know," he answered and exposed his teeth, growled playfully and then walked back inside.

I started to go inside, but Alice was suddenly in front of me, serious.

"We need to talk," she said and grabbed my arm tightly. Even though I could easily break the grip, I let her take me into the forest, away from the house.

"What is it, Alice?" I asked as we stood in the forest. She let a hand go through her spiky, black hair, and then she sighed.

"You have to talk with Edward," she said.

"What?" I asked. "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious, Bella."

I frowned. "You can't expect me to after what happened when I arrived –"

"Yes, that was very unfortunate, and it made the visions flicker a little, but not much, they're still in place, but you just have to realize what is going on, and then –"

"Alice, wait a second!" I cut her off. "Visions?"

She nodded and wavered with her hand as if this wasn't important. "Anyway –"

"No, Alice, not anyway!" I cut her off again. She crossed her arms and looked at me with a dark look.

"What is it, Bella?" she asked as she tapped with her foot.

"What visions? Tell me, God dammit!"

"Okay, easy Bella!" Alice said, lifting her hands with a sigh. "I have just had certain vision concerning you, nothing else."

"Visions concerning me?" I asked. "What was in them? I have a right to know!"

She sighed, and there was no teasing on her face anymore. "It's about you and Edward," she answered. I suddenly couldn't remember how to breathe, and I stared at her expectantly. "When I looked at our family's future, I always saw it like this: Denali and Cullen, Edward standing between Carlisle and me. But after Edward met you, there's only two possibilities left." She looked at me with dark, serious eyes. "Either a family of sadness, a family without Edward. Or a family of joy, a family where you and Edward stand beside each other." I was speechless, and as I didn't respond, she probably figured I didn't understand. "He's got his arm around your waist."

Even though I had figured out the meaning of her words before that last sentence, it made me gasp. I remembered all those times I had wished for him to like me. And now, he apparently did. But if he did, why was he acting like … Well, like a jerk?

"But … But … But," I said, but as I comprehended that I wasn't able to say much more, I stopped speaking altogether.

"Please, Bella, Edward has decided to stay, which makes this destiny inevitable. But you two can decide when it happens. I beg you to go talk with him."

I continued to stare at her and blinked a few times. "Decided to stay?" I asked. "He considered leaving." She nodded. "Why?"

She shrugged and rolled her eyes. "He's an idiot and a bit of a disappointment as a brother. You should ask him yourself."

"But …" I started.

"Just talk with him," she said and went back to the house.

I sighed. "Soon," I murmured, but I knew she heard.

I remembered arguing with myself over the fact that I didn't, and couldn't, look at Edward as a brother, and being angry that I somehow wouldn't let him into my heart as a part of the family. Now I realized what that strange bond had been, pulling me toward him. Now I understood he was already in my heart.

I turned and looked back toward the house with determination.

"And you're going to stay there, Edward, whether I have to force you are not."

-----

The long time requested fight between Bella and Emmett :P I know, bad written, but I hope it was good enough. Now, the thing you've all been waiting for is coming closer and closer! _Yay!_ ^^ Review, please, tell me what you think.

About 25 more chapters to go! Wooohu!


	19. Chapter 19

19. TWILIGHT

The rain drizzled outside the window, leaving mist on the inside. If I had been human, it would be freezing to touch it, and I would immediately remove my hand. But as a vampire, I couldn't care less. The rain was somewhat a blessing – though Alice wouldn't let as ruin our clothes – while the sun was a curse, leaving us at home.

Even though Alice wasn't home at that moment, I still didn't go out. I could imagine her run out of the building that was Forks High and then home to tell me to get straight in. I smiled.

But I was having a great time in the silence, sitting on the couch, reading one of the books that Carlisle had lent me. It was interesting. As a human I had always felt repulsed by the thought of hospitals and doctors and blood. But now, as I ran through the book, I found myself wanting to know more about Carlisle's specialties. I wanted to go to the hospital, but I knew that wasn't a good idea. There would be blood, and free blood was something different from blood running through veins. I shuddered as I remembered Victoria and that man …

"Is anything wrong, honey?" Esme asked. I looked up. I hadn't noticed she was there.

I smiled. "Everything's fine," I answered. "Just some dark thoughts."

She smiled back and came to kneel down by the couch. She laid her arms around me. "Don't think such thoughts, then. You're here, and you're safe. You're family, and we'll never let anyone hurt you!"

My face smoothed into a weak mask, and I tried to keep smiling, but really, I was touched. After how I'd treated her son, how could she just forgive me?

"Thank you, Esme."

She smiled. "No, thank you, Bella." Before I could ask what I had done to be thanked, she got up and disappeared upstairs. Though I could still ask her, it seemed as if the moment was over.

The afternoon went in silence until I heard the engine of Edward's Volvo outside, and my stomach turned. I had promised Alice to talk with him, and even though I had tried to make myself these last three days, I hadn't been able to do it. Alice had even threatened that she would make us talk if I didn't do something. I couldn't see what it was to her. Why was this so important to her?

I did know that none in the family liked the tension between Edward and I; it was a bad one, and if it continued, it could destroy the family very easily. Everything depended on us.

And even though we both knew it, none of us could take the first step. And he must know about Alice's visions, too. But if he'd seen it, why did he act like that toward me?

Then it occurred to me that he might not want me. He might not want having to be around me all the time, having to be with me like that. It hurt to think of it, but I had to look at it as a possibility. What other explanation was there?

"Hi, Bella," Alice said pleasantly as she walked in. "We're home. Everyone's home."

I scowled at her, but then I saw Edward walking in behind her, his eyes glaring at her. I smiled without seeming to notice it. As he stood there, his clothes dripping on Esme's floor, I couldn't help wanting to get up and go over to touch him. His arm, his hand … His hair.

He suddenly turned his head to look at me, and his eyes weren't like they usually were. They were expectant and smoldering. I was relieved when he released me from his look and walked upstairs, probably to change into dry clothes and maybe listen to some music.

I glanced at the grand piano. Esme said he played it, but he hadn't since I'd come. What, wasn't I good enough to hear it?

In a bad mood I returned to my book.

"Ahem," Alice said by my side.

I looked at her. "_What_ Alice?"

She shrugged. "Nothing. Just wanted to say that it's going to be an awful good weather in a few minutes."

I slammed my book together, scowled at her and then swung the book into her arms before I got to my feet and went to the door. I knew that was exactly what she wanted me to do, but I didn't care.

As she'd predicted, the rain soon stopped, but I didn't. I ran until I was sure I was far enough from the house and then I found a nice fallen tree trunk to sit on and be hysteric.

Jeez, how could she just expect me to talk with Edward? He knew about the visions! And he knew that I knew! He must! It would be too painful to talk with him.

And what had she been thinking? Did she believe that she could just tell me about her visions and then I would run for Edward and throw myself into his arms? That would be very bizarre and he'd tell me to run off and be weird another place.

"You shouldn't run off like that," he said with that amazing voice I hadn't heard in too long. He didn't talk much around me. I looked up to see him leaning against a tree, staring at the sky. "You make Esme nervous."

"Why are you here?" I asked. "To tell me once again that you don't hate me, that you're sorry for your behavior and then go back to acting just the same way?"

He finally looked at me, and I almost wished he wouldn't. It was like his eyes pierced right through me.

"I came here because of Alice," he said then.

Oh no.

I growled and looked away. I pulled my knees against my chest and wrapped my arms around them. "Ugh. Alice."

He laughed, and my mind stopped for a second at the sound. So few times had he laughed in my presence, I had totally forgotten that he could. The sound was dazzling.

How could I let him have this kind of power over me? It wasn't healthy. I knew I was obsessed with him, though I didn't like to admit it. But he hated me, he must.

"Yes, you must be displeased with her."

Was I just imagining are did he sound bitter?

"I just find her … _Expectations_ a bid out there," I murmured.

He moved closer to where I sat, and I wondered if I should tell him to stay where he was, but I didn't. He sat down some space from me on the tree trunk and looked at me.

"I know she told you about her visions," he finally said.

I flinched. "Yea, I know. You're a mind reader. Ugh."

I saw him grimace. "I didn't know you find it so offensive."

"Well, but I do," I said, and my head snapped up. "How can you live with knowing what everyone think? How can you live with yourself when you intrude in people's private lives."

He was silent, just looked at me with unfathomable eyes. Then he sighed. "It's not easy. I try to tune it out. But sometimes a thought is so loud, I can't ignore it. It just bore through."

I could see pain on his face, and I remembered Rosalie and Emmett. Maybe they weren't even his biggest problem.

I rested my forehead against my knees. "I'm sorry. I didn't think of that."

"Why should you?" he asked.

"It was unreasonable of me," I murmured. "You can't read my thoughts, so I should be able to look at it from both sides."

He smiled dryly. "It's really annoying, you know, not hearing your thoughts. I don't understand you. I'm so used to knowing what people think, it's off not knowing anything about you."

I snapped my teeth together. "Well, you're not so easy to understand yourself!" I said coldly. "The one minute your friendly, the next you won't even look at me, as if I …" I cut myself off.

"As if you what?" he asked. I shook my head. "Bella, tell me."

"As if I don't belong," I whispered. "As if you don't want me in your family."

A bird sang somewhere, but other than that, all was quiet, except for our breathing. He was sitting so close to me, I could reach out and touch him. I wanted to. But I shouldn't.

"I do want you in our family," he finally murmured. "I just don't know how to handle it."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He looked at me as if I was missing something very obvious, and I probably was. But I would make him explain anyway.

"Alice's visions," he reminded me.

"Oh," I breathed and looked down again. "Them."

"Yes, them."

"But that doesn't explain the way you acted when we first met," I said. Then I remembered the exact scene. "Of course, I did do the thing with the wolves."

He smiled. "That was just an excuse."

"I don't understand."

He caught my eyes again, and I felt like I was falling.

"You don't see yourself very clearly, Bella," he said. "You made everyone like you so fast, made them want to do anything to keep you safe, I was intimidated. I thought you might have some extra power, some sort of mind control. I didn't want to feel the way everyone else felt. Even though I could see so very clearly how they felt about you, I didn't _understand_. I'm not even sure they do themselves." He sighed but maintained the eye contact. "But every time I spoke with you, every time I saw you, are saw or heard you in their minds … I could feel myself falling into your power." He looked away, and I stared at his face, shocked at his confession.

"But …" I whispered. I cleared my throat and asked a different question. "What power?"

He laughed. "As I said, you don't see yourself very clearly. You have a power to make people care for you and make them want you in their lives. I'm sure the Denalis are very sad right now." He was quiet for a second, but he continued before I could say anything. "But they'll get by. You only left a little hole in them. There's a hole, but it's not big enough to truly hurt them." He looked at me again. "But I could see in Alice's visions that if I gave into that, into your power, then I would be torn apart by a huge hole if you left. I couldn't put myself in that much danger."

I cleared my throat and shook my head. "But … That doesn't explain why you acted like that when we first met."

"It does," he said. "Alice saw a bond between us even before we met. I couldn't see exactly how strong it would be, but I could see that it would be strong."

I pondered about this for a moment. Then I was suddenly hit by the irony, and I laughed hysterically. He stared at me as if I'd gone crazy.

I shook my head as he was about to ask me what was wrong. "It's just … All that time, I tried not to …" I stopped and began anew: "I've used days trying to figure you out, trying not to think about you, but … You seem to always creep back into my mind." I saw his puzzled look and couldn't help laughing again. "You don't see yourself very clearly, either."

He smiled shortly, but then he frowned again. "I know how you must feel about me. I haven't been very nice toward you, but I thought it was necessary –"

"I don't hate you, Edward," I said quietly.

He looked at me through narrowed eyes. "Why? I deserve it."

"No you don't. You've explained why you did as you did, and I understand." I hesitantly touched his arm, and at the moment I touched him, he flinched away. I was about to retreat my hand, but then he placed himself back so that we were once again touching. He slowly lifted his arm so our hands met. I knew I would have to be the strong one, and I wrapped my fingers through his. He looked at our hands, and then at me. I smiled. I wasn't very aware of the fact that I was feeling shy. I was touching him. His hand felt softer than I had ever imagined, and I moved my thumb against his skin. I looked at our hands, and so did he. We sat there in silence for a moment. I didn't know what to do next – I didn't even know what had just happened!

He looked up through the trees crowns.

"Come," he said and dragged me to my feet, "there's something I want to show you."He c

--------

I want to apologize for the bad writing in my story. I really try to improve and write more advanced, but I'm not doing very well xD

And there was someone who asked about how Alice could run her hand through her spiky hair, since, y'know, spiky hair aint long; well, actually, I've always pictured Alice's hair like in the movie, which is long enough for her to run her hand through, but still spiky. So there you go ;)

-

Now, guys, this is important!

My life totally changed after I watched a certain series. It was so great, I can't stop thinking about it, and I can't believe I've watched everything! But it's such a great story; I wanted to share it with you. So here's the first link! Please watch it and feel your stomach turn in laughter, your eyes become wet with tears, and your entire being be filled with the sweet sensation of great stories and characters!

Here it is:

Avatar: the last air bender, episode 1:

h t t p : / / w w w . m e g a v i d e o . c o m / ? v = X 2 5 J C 4 W 2

Delete the room between the letters.

I hope the link works!

And I hope none of you experience running into spoilers. That is NOT FUN! So don't go looking for them.


	20. Chapter 20

The last chapter ended with the letters: He c

This was a mistake! I don't know what it was doing there, but it has nothing to do there, so don't think you've missed anything ;)

Here you go! Chapter 20!

-------

A MEADOW OF BEAUTY

I was in my own, personal paradise as we ran through the forest. He dragged me along by my hand, not because I didn't want to follow, but because I was too dazed to. All I could think of was that I was holding his hand, and that he wanted to show me something. He seemed static about it, so it must be important to him.

I wasn't sure where in Alice's visions we were, but I was smart enough to tell that we were close.

"Are we there yet?" I asked teasingly, and he chuckled. What an amazing sound that was.

"Just a little longer," he answered and glanced at me. I smiled stupidly as he looked at me, feeling happy at the mere thought that he wanted to be in my presence.

I noticed how it slowly grew lighter, how the sun hit me very quickly a few times through the cape of leaves. I wondered where we were going.

He suddenly dropped to a stop and turned to lay his hands on my arms. I held my breath, staring into his eyes. He smiled at me.

"This is my favorite place to go when the sun is out."

Then he pulled me out of the shadows and into the bright sunlight, and I watched as both of us were suddenly sparkling. But it was different than other times I had been sparkling, and other times that I had seen vampires sparkling. This was _us_.

When I could finally fight my eyes away from him, I saw the beauty around us. It was a peaceful meadow, surrounded by a perfect circle, made by the trees. He sat down and pulled me with him. I sat cross-legged beside him and stared around in wonder.

"It's so … So …" I whispered, but I couldn't find the right word for it.

"I know," he answered and chuckled.

I let myself drop to the ground, staring at the sky, from the edge of my view noticing the trees. I never let go of his hand.

Then he laid down beside me, and I could feel his gaze on my face. I lifted our hands to study them closer. I stretched out his palm and followed the lines. I was astonished at how much beauty could be gathered in one palm. Wanting to see more of this incredible beauty, I turned to look at his face. His eyes were bright scotch, and I smiled at him.

"How can you forgive me so easily?" he whispered.

I looked at our hands again and twisted my hand into his once more. "It wasn't that hard," I noted, laying my other hand over our intertwined ones.

"I can't believe that," he murmured, and I studied his face through narrowed eyes.

"You'll just have to," I snorted.

He thought about that for a moment, then his face turned dark. "Were you hurt by my acting?" I looked at the sky, and he reviewed my response. He sighed. "I knew it. I'm the worst person on earth."

"No!" I said, angry now. "Don't blame yourself. I understand."

"But you were hurt."

"So what?"

He stared at me as if I was crazy, but I stared harshly back. "I'm fine, Edward." A thrill went through me as I said his name, and I eased up.

"Bella," he hesitated and closed his eyes, facing the sun again. "I don't want to hurt you. But I think I may wanted to … Before."

I looked at the sky with him and felt the smile on my face fall a little, but he was still forgiven. Nothing could bring him in a bad light. Not now. "It's okay, Edward, really! Stop blaming yourself, and even more importantly; stop trying to make me dislike you!"

He turned to watch me again, and I laughed at his expression. He wasn't going to give in that easily, though.

"I made you think twice about whether you were good enough for our family or not," he said, grief clear in his voice. "The truth is that _I'm_ the one who should be thinking twice."

"No, Edward!" I said firmly and helped myself up on my elbow to glare at him. He stared at me. "I once promised you that I would do my best not to fight Emmett! Now you must promise me not to give up on your family!"

He looked suspiciously at me. "You broke your promise."

Right. I'd forgotten.

"Actually, I didn't. I said I'd try. Besides, that was a really hard promise!"

Edward frowned. "I was really worried when I found out that you had been fighting."

I looked away. "Just promise me you won't leave," I whispered. I couldn't bare if he left.

He took my hand, and I looked back into his eyes.

"I promise."

-

If a hiker had passed by, he wouldn't believe what he was seeing. Two statues of crystal, shining in the sun, holding each other's hands while staring into the other's eyes. I wasn't even sure I would notice if a hiker came by. All I had eye for was him – for Edward. He sat in front of me like a stone Adonis, but I knew he was real. I wasn't worthy of sitting this close to him, yet I did. I even had his hand in mine …

"Tell me what you're thinking," he suddenly said, as he had a few times before.

I smiled shyly, still not knowing what to make of the situation. "I'm not sure what I should be thinking," I breathed and let myself fall into those golden eyes. My head swirled, and I couldn't make sense of my thoughts. I forced, much to my displeasure, myself to close my eyes.

"Tell me," he whispered eagerly and agonized, and his voice made me open my eyes. He really was used to hearing people's thoughts.

I smiled. "You," I said without sound. He understood.

He smiled, but he didn't do anymore. He seemed to be pleased by my answer. I looked at our hands. Then, hesitantly, his other hand – the one that I didn't hold – rose from his lab, hesitantly, and placed itself against my cheek.

It wasn't cold or warm, but it was as if it send electric shocks through me, and I shook a little. I looked up to meet his eyes. They were questioning, as if he wasn't sure. I loosened my right hand from his, still grasping it with my left, and slowly forced it to his cheek. It was like the one second it took me to place it there was a million years, a million fights with myself about whether I should do it.

I froze in place as I touched his jaw, as my hand cupped around his cheek. I had to withdraw a hiss. I was touching his face.

He closed his eyes and moved his head, so that, before I could freak even more out mentally, his lips was against my palm.

For the first time for a long time, I expected my heart to run frantic and my cheeks to blush, but they didn't. He opened his eyes and glanced at me, and I stared back with open mouth and heavy breathing. He flashed a smile, and I moved my hand away from his mouth, into his hair. It tickled my hand, and I chuckled weakly.

I could still feel his hand against my cheek, and it moved over my jaw and to my throat. I weighted my head against it, closing my eyes with a smile on my lips.

"Alice must be very happy," he said then and chuckled. I laughed.

"She's going to be ecstatic when we get back," I sighed.

"We don't have to go back right now." I opened my eyes to look bewildered at his face. "We could stay a while."

I grinned. "That sounds nice. Though Esme won't like it." I frowned. I didn't like making Esme unhappy.

"She'll understand," he said.

"I hope so," I said and let my hand drop to my lab, and he dropped his hand, too.

"Bella," he said, and looked at our hands again.

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, Edward!" I answered, confused that he would even ask if he could ask.

"When we left, Alice got a vision. I'm the only one who knows, because it passed so quickly that it almost wasn't there. But it was. She saw you leaving – for good. You weren't coming back. It was our family, but as it used to be, just sad."

"Where are you going?" I whispered and looked at the trees.

"Why did you decide to go?" he asked. "I know it must have been something I did. But why? I had just tried to befriend you."

"I know. It wasn't you. I was actually very confused about your change in mood, but I was happy. Until Tanya said that her talk with you had helped." Before he could say something, I quickly continued. "I thought that the only reason you was suddenly friendly toward me was because of her. I thought you would never really like me. That when I visited Forks you would be just as always, because Tanya wouldn't be there." I took in a deep breath to steady myself.

He was silent for a moment, and I felt his stare on my face, but I refused to meet his eyes.

"_If_ it had really been Tanya's doing, I wouldn't have acted any differently. She would have known. Alice," he reminded me, and as I realized he was right, I loathed myself for worrying everybody with my foolishness. "But it wasn't her. She did talk to me, and I guess she made me think, but the one who really made the difference was Carlisle."

"Carlisle?" I asked, confused.

"I tell Carlisle everything of importance – and you were one of the most important subjects for a while. _He_ confronted_ me_ though, because I was too much of a coward. He convinced me that I should try to act differently around you, then you might change your feelings about me."

"_What_?" I gasped. "He thought I didn't like you?"

He shook his head, not picking up my rushed mood. "No. I told you I was falling. But as I fell more and more, the main reason I struggled wasn't that I would be in danger of that … Pain. If you left. If I was suddenly without you."

"And that's ridicu-"

He placed a hand on my mouth, silencing me. "I found that it was the fear that you would hate me that kept me from letting myself fall. I wanted to. Tanya told me it wasn't bad, that it was nice to care for someone that much. And I knew that I would care for you more than anyone else."

"You were afraid I wouldn't like you," I whispered. My voice suddenly earned a lot of volume. "How could you think that?"

He smiled apologetically. "It was pretty easy to imagine I wasn't the highest ranking member of the family to you – after all I'd done to you." He shook his head. "Esme was really ashamed of my behavior. I don't blame her, though. I understand. I really _was_ rude."

"Forget that!" I said harshly. "Forget all that. We can't get anything good from it, so let's just forget it!"

He shook his head sadly. "I will never forget something like that, Bella. I couldn't let myself. Then I would only make the same mistake again."

I bit down my lower lip and shut my eyes tightly.

"I have a question for you," I murmured.

"Yes?"

"From the beginning you refused to like me. I could see you make every move to make me not like you, and you not like me. Why?"

"I'm sorry about that. I already answered you though."

"No," I said. "Tell me exactly what it was."

I waited, my nerves on edges, till he finally began to answer. "Through my entire mortal life, I have been alone. Not really alone; I've always had my family. But seeing them together, being more happy than I could ever become myself … I think part of me was jealous. I had enough reason to be happy, and I was. I was happy _enough_, but not as much as everyone, including myself, wanted me to be. But I didn't know what kind of happiness it was that I was missing.

"So when I saw Alice's vision, I didn't understand. All I saw was the possibilities of what bad could come out of it – not the good. I didn't see why Alice was so happy. I only saw that whatever the hold was, I couldn't let myself attach that much to you." He lifted my hand and began drawing circles in it with his finger. "I wish I had just let everything fall in place, as it should." He looked at me with smoldering eyes, and I breathed a big quicker. "As it is doing now."

I smiled shakily and chuckled. "How easily everything could have worked out from the beginning."

"Yes," he said and placed his other hand in mine.

I looked at his hands, turning them in mine. Then I looked back at him with a sudden peace of mind and determination.

"Sit still," I said quietly, and he froze as I finished. I lifted myself closer to him and slowly placed my hands against his temples. With a touch that was as light as a feathers, I moved my hands through his hair, down his neck, caressing the shape, and over his shoulders, up again, over his throat, to his jaw and back to the temples to do the same thing again. While I did it, he closed his eyes, didn't even breathe. When I reached his temples again and stopped, he opened his eyes to look at me with a strange glance. There was hunger in his eyes, and before I knew of it, he moved my hands from his temples and secured them in his hands.

I didn't move as he came closer and his one hand moved from my wrist, up my arm and to my shoulder. He moved it over my collarbone and back, up my throat. I gasped slightly and took in a deep breath. His fingers moved over my face, and I closed my eyes. I felt his fingers against my eye lids, and I marveled at how close he was.

Then he stopped, and I opened my eyes. I wasn't aware that he was this close. His face was only inches from mine, and his hands had formed securely around my jaw.

"How easy it is," he breathed, and I stared into the golden ocean that was his eyes. "It's almost frightening."

"Isn't everything?" I answered.

He chuckled. "Maybe. But as much as this should be hard, I find it easier than I had expected."

I reached up hesitantly and stopped my hand a few inches from his face. "I'm not sure it's that easy," I murmured. "I've never tried anything like this before. I don't know what to expect."

"I've never experienced anything like this before, either," he said.

Some of the turmoil in my brain made me move my head so that my forehead rested against his. It was strangely peaceful and familiar, though I had never tried anything like it before. It only took me two seconds to recognize it.

I felt at ease. I was finally fully rested. More than I had been in many years – maybe even never. I felt like a child again, like nothing could go wrong. The world was suddenly a wonderful place.

And I no longer hated Elias and the 'coward'. I was still angry, but I knew that I would be able to sort things out with them if I ever found them. Because they were the reason I now sat here – in this meadow of beauty. With the most magnificent of creatures.

Until this moment there had always been a little part of me hating the vampire life. Even though I had my new family, I craved mortality, I wanted my 'true' family. But all the fear and hate I had held inside me before began to slip, fly into the air, and disappear. The future was bright. Edward was there. He'd promised.

I could no longer hate what I had become; a monster, craving people's blood. Because no matter how much I hated that part, there also was the part of being vampire that included being with Edward, being part of his world, being something that could justify craving him – though not justify having him. Nothing could ever do that. Yet, I seemed to have achieved this.

I was sure that I could have never have caught his mind as a human; fragile, clumsy and average.

And even if I _had_, by some miracle, caught his eyes, I would have been mortal. But at this moment, I had everything; I had forever with Edward in it. Nothing beat that.

Nothing.

"I want to try something," he whispered. Then he moved his head to the side, and I knew what was coming. I sat very still, feeling my head explode with emotion. If he had been able to hear me, I would have been rather embarrassed.

He hesitated before he breathed in my scent. Then he slowly placed his lips on my, and with the lightest pressure kissed the frozen statue that was me.

It only took me seconds before I began to respond to the kiss. I moved my lips against him, and he placed his hands on my back while mine was on his neck. It was as if I needed him to hold me if I was not to fall. I needed him to always be there to hold me up. Without him, I would be lost. Everything would be darkness.

But he was the light in my life. And it seemed I was his.

I would never let him go. Never.

We were supposed to be together. No one would ever get to break us. No one.

Never.

-

Everything was quiet. It seemed I was in perfect harmony with everything around me. All the trees were dancing to the melody that the wind and the grass combined were singing. I listened and watched the clouds move around far above us. The sun was out, and I was out. I was shining. I was beautiful.

But I was not as beautiful as the creature that lay beside me, the creature that held my hand, the creature which head I rested mine against. It was strange how it felt like a river was flowing through us, making us one, one future, one path, one way. One.

I smiled, thinking that I could fly if it was not because my Adonis was holding me to the ground. I glanced at him, smiling wider. He was really mine. It was not a dream. Not a dream. And I was his.

We belonged to each other, belonged _with_ each other. We couldn't exist without one another.

And I knew that this was now, and that later, things would be so much different. I could feel it already, changing. We were being bound together closer and closer every second we were together.

The hours drew by, and we lay in silence without needing to speak. Twilight came, and soon, the stars began to glimmer on the sky.

Everything was perfect.

And I felt as if I could sleep again, even though I couldn't.

But it was a nice feeling.

-----

For some reason I found this piece very beautiful, even though it probably wasn't. I listened to beautiful music, though, maybe that's why.

I hope that at least some got something out of the link :) And it was nice to know that there were so many Avatar fans among you! Thumbs up to _you_!

And fake-cake for everybody who read and review my Avatar fanfic ^^


	21. Chapter 21

21. THE WOLVES

We held hands as we ran through the forest, back toward the house. We didn't run very fast; there was no need to hurry. Again and again I found myself glancing at him, and he smiled back at me when he caught me doing it.

"Has Alice told them?" I asked.

"Probably," Edward answered. "She'll be all hyper for the next week, if not more. How should she be capable of holding it in for just a few hours?"

I laughed. Of course he was right. Alice would be Alice.

And Alice being Alice, she was waiting a few hundred meters from the house. She was tapping her foot impatiently, and when we finally got into view, she was ecstatic. She stared at our hands, and then she grinned widely, clapping her hands together. She looked at Edward. "Finally!" she breathed and then hammered herself into us. Then she turned to Edward with a serious and angry glimmer in her eyes. "Don't dare try and change the future again! You hear me?"

"Clearly," Edward answered dryly and nudged her out of the way to pull me closer to him.

Alice groaned, rolled her eyes and then winked at me. "Let's get back to the house," she suggested. "I already told the others."

Edward winked at me. "Of course you did," he said, and I laughed quietly.

-

Of course they were thrilled that we finally sorted things out; Esme kept standing by my side and brush my hair away from my face, and Carlisle just stood there and smiled. Rosalie came to my side and said: "Good luck, sis. You're gonna need it," after which Edward shoved her off.

But everyone was happy. The family were united.

Though there was one thing that still bugged me.

I had realized that Edward was what I needed, and I would be with him forever. But the family was still in danger.

Because I knew Tanya liked Edward more than a sister should. And I hated the feeling that was boiling up inside me because of it; anger, jealousy, fear, grief. All because of her. And I had no right to be angry at her! She was there first! But I couldn't help it. It was the side of me that was still human. I hadn't even known that I had a side like this anymore. But now it was biting at me, and I couldn't imagine how Tanya would react to the news.

Would I tear the family apart no matter what?

I could feel Edward's gaze on my face, but I didn't respond. I pretended nothing was wrong; I fooled everyone but him. How could he already know me so well?

I decided to tell Tanya myself, and to do it when I was alone; okay, I wouldn't be totally alone, because Edward was insisting on following me wherever I went. This was fine by me.

I sat some space away from the house, just far enough that the others wouldn't be able to hear. Edward sat by my side. In my hands lay the mobile.

I took a deep breath. Tanya's affection for Edward was strong, I knew it. I had seen the way he looked at him.

I took the mobile in my hand and began dialing the number, before pressing the red button again and laying it back into my lab. Only four seconds passed by before I picked it up again and did the same thing as before. I looked at the mobile and was just about to pick it up again, when it was suddenly gone.

I looked up. Edward stood in front of me, the mobile in his hand. "I'll tell her," he suggested and dialed.

"No!" I shrieked and tried to take the mobile from him, but he was too damn fast.

"You can't make yourself do it, so I will," he said simply.

"Edward, give me the damn phone!" I hissed and stamped my foot.

He looked at my angry eyes with amusement, and as he just stood there with the phone, smiling, I sighed and walked over to him without wrinkles in my forehead. He gave me the phone.

"Thank you," I growled, putting much pressure on the vocals. He grinned. I turned away and then dialed the number anew. This time, I pressed the green button.

I waited only one beep.

"Hello?" Eleazar said.

"Eleazar!" I gasped, surprised at how happy and ecstatic the sound of his voice made me. It was so long since I'd seen him. "It's me! Bella."

"Like I didn't know," he chuckled. "How are you doing?"

"That's … Actually why I'm calling."

Silence. "Has something happened, Bella?"

"No!" I assured him. "No, no, it's not anything like that! Actually, things are going very well." I suddenly felt Edwards hands on my waist, tugging me against his chest. I smiled shyly.

"Then what is it, Bella?" Eleazar asked.

"I'd really rather if I told Tanya. She needs to know this from me."

Eleazar only took five seconds, then he said: "I see. Wait a second, I'll find her."

"Wait, Eleazar, see what?" I yelled into the phone, but he was gone.

What had he seen? What had he understood?

"Hi Bella!" Kate's enthusiastic voice suddenly said.

I was puzzled. "Where's Tanya?" I asked.

"Outside," Kate answered. "I think Eleazar just went out to get her. So how are you?"

"You'll get to know soon," I answered. "But I have to tell Tanya."

"Huh?" Kate answered.

"Just give her the phone!" I shouted.

"Okay, okay!" Kate said, acting annoyed.

"Hello?" Tanya said in the other end a second later. "What's wrong, Bella? Eleazar said it was urgent."

"It is," I murmured without self confidence. I felt guilty. And there were good reason for that.

"Bella, you sound kind of low key," Tanya said, worried now. Typical Tanya. It made me smile. She wasn't going to care for me in a minute.

"Tanya … Just a second," I said, took a deep breath, laid my hand on the phone so she couldn't hear, and turned to Edward. "Please, Edward, I need to do this alone."

He frowned. "You know, I'm part of this, too."

"Please."

He nodded and hugged me. "Hurry. I don't want to be away from you for too long."

"I promise," I whispered.

Then he ran away, and I put the phone back to my ear. "Tanya?" I asked.

"I'm here. Bella, what's the fuzz? Is something wrong?"

Yes. You're going to kill me. "Tanya, there's something I have to tell you."

"Just spit it out, Bella," she said.

I sighed. "Please, Tanya, oh, please don't hate me!" I couldn't help pleading. It was the only clue I had.

Silence. "Bella, what could you possibly do to make me hate you?"

"Tanya … I know how you feel about Edward …"

More silence. "So?" she asked cautiously, her voice a bid shaky. Maybe she was starting to figure it out.

"Tanya, I feel the same way about him." There. I had said it. I had ripped my sister's heart out, and in a minute, I was going to squash it.

She didn't speak for a whole minute: I was about to ask if she was still there.

"Bella, I …" she whispered, then cleared her throat, obviously trying to act professionally. "Does he feel the same why?"

"Tanya … Yes, he does." I could almost imagine the way her body must feel: empty. "We're together, Tanya."

Deep breathing was all I could hear the next five minutes, and I was starting to get worried. "Tanya? Tanya, are you okay? Tanya?"

"Bella, I'm …" She sounded so torn, so broken. Vulnerable. I was an evil person, and we both knew it. "Congratulations." That professional voice again. "I'm happy that you're happy." Now it was just without feeling. "I'm sorry." Determined.

Then she hang up on me.

Fear was all I could comprehend. What happened?

I dialed the number again, but no one answered. I tried several times in ten minutes, before someone answered.

It was a tearless, sobbing Carmen. "Bella," she whispered. "Bella, oh, Bella."

"Carmen! What happened? Where's Tanya?"

"Bella … She … She said you shouldn't blame yourself. You … Oh, Bella, she wishes you the best of lucks."

"Carmen! Answer me!"

"She's gone, Bella. She left."

Everything disappeared. Everything. My heart, too. I couldn't do anything; I was frozen. My body was floating away in a river, becoming the river. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to feel. I put everything inside a mental room and locked it away. It destroyed the key. I wouldn't feel it. It would hurt too much. Tanya. Tanya was gone. My Tanya. My sister. No. It couldn't be true.

It hurt no matter what. But this way, it hurt less.

"Bella?" Carmen sobbed.

"I'm here," I whispered. "Didn't you stop her?"

"Bella, she can go if she wants to. We tried to talk her out of it, but … She just left. She told me to make sure you didn't feel guilty. She's not angry with you. She's not angry with Edward, either."

"You know?"

"She told us while she packed. I'm so happy on your behalf, Bella, but … I'm just so …" She couldn't say anymore.

"You shouldn't be happy on my behalf," I whispered. "I feel more guilty about this than you can even imagine. That she tells me not to doesn't help. I'm so sorry."

Carmen sobbed a little more, before she could speak clearly. "Don't leave us, too, Bella. We can't have our family torn apart any more. I'm sure Tanya will come to her senses and come back."

"She's not out of them, Carmen," I whispered.

"Don't leave."

"I won't."

"Come home, Bella," she said. "Come home to your family."

I'm already there. "I'll come as soon as I can. Promise."

"Miss you," she whispered.

"Miss you, too." She hung up. I removed the phone from my ear. I wanted to cry. I cursed the fact that I couldn't.

For the first time, everything had seemed perfect, but now … Everything was smoldering. I gave out a cry and closed my eyes. I should have had Edward stay with me. I needed him.

Then the phone rang again, and I pressed the green button. "Hello?" I whispered. I didn't know who it was. I hadn't checked the display.

"Bella!" Edward's frantic voice said. I was immediately alarmed. "Bella, are you okay?"

"Yes, Edward," I answered. "What is it?"

"How far are you from the house?"

"The place you left me," I answered.

"Come back to the house! I'll run to meet you!"

"Edward, what's going on?" I shouted, afraid now.

"Not so loud!" he hissed. "Alice can't see your future! This can only mean two things; either you're dead, or …"

"Well, I've just proven I'm not dead! What is it?"

"This happened when the wolves came. Alice couldn't see."

I froze. "The wolves? They're …"

"They're near you. And they're going to find you. Run! Run, Bella!"

I closed the phone and did as he said. I still felt frozen; everything was happening so fast. The turmoil inside me swirled my head.

A furious snarl came from in front of me, and I turned slightly to the right to avoid the wolf that I knew would be there. But it followed. I could hear its paws. I knew that I couldn't get away from this one. I could hear another one in the distance, and I was sure there would be more.

Yet, I tried to get away. The wolf just followed, though. I was hoping for Edward to come, and I was hoping he'd have Emmett and Jasper with him.

I wasn't sure if I could do this – if I could fight it off. Emmett had told me they were huge – then again, it was Emmett, and he might just be teasing. Might.

But if there were even the slightest possibility he was speaking the truth, I would have to act with caution in mind. Even if I still had my newborn powers, even if I _could_ fight it off, I would just endanger my family more. The wolves would take it as a declare of war.

A big, brown wolf came into sight now. It was exactly as big as I had imagined it. I stepped back, staring at it with gritted teeth.

"Go away!" I growled and crouched. "Get out of my way!"

It just growled and stepped closer.

"I warn you," I growled, and my lips curled back over my teeth. The wolf was just about to take another step, when Edward suddenly pushed it away. It reacted quickly after being smashed into a tree. It was clear that Edward had done his very best not to let out all his anger. Or, as I looked at Edward, I had to edit that. He was not angry. He was furious.

"Stay away from her!" Edward growled, and his growl much more impressive than mine. He reached backwards with his arms for me, and I took his hand. He wrapped me in his arms by his right side. The wolf started walking. "No! Don't step any closer! I know what you want, but I won't let you!" The wolf stopped its path toward us. It cocked its head to the side. Then it was as if it grew very, very furious, too. Edward nodded, his teeth gritted. "Yes," he answered. "I am."

The wolf snarled, and I secured my hands in fists, ready to protect myself and the one I loved.

"No!" Edward growled. The tension in the air was almost touchable. "You have no right!" The wolf snarled, and the hairs on its back was in the air. "No!" Edward said again firmly, this time just slightly polite.

"What's it saying?" I whispered. The wolf's head snapped toward me to glare at me, as if it was trying to figure something out.

"Get out of our way," Edward growled. "If you do anything, I'll kill you!"

It was the first time I had heard Edward say anything like that, but I believed him. He truly was going to kill the wolf if it didn't move. The wolf could see that, too, but it just kept on growling, as if it wasn't afraid, as if it _wanted_ a fight. I could hear another two wolves come nearer. A fierce determination suddenly shot through me, clicking in my head, and I growled angrily at the wolf. It stared at me.

That was when I smelled it – the same smell as when I went to La Push. That stinky one I couldn't stand. It was the wolves.

The wolf didn't growl at me as it did with Edward, it just stared at me. I turned away and began dragging Edward with me, away from the wolf. I could feel that Edward did not like this, but I wouldn't let him get hurt. More wolves were on their way, and if we came into a fight, we would be in trouble.

The wolf growled furiously, but I didn't look back. However, Edward stopped and turned to face it.

"She doesn't owe you anything!" he snapped, and a lightning shot through me. I froze en place, trying to figure out what the wolf was thinking. "Leave her alone, leave all of us alone! We're not interested in fighting you, but if we have to, we'll do so. And you'll regret trying to stand in our way." The wolf snarled, and I could hear it step closer. Edward gasped. "You wouldn't!" His voice was so dark, it frightened me more than I had thought he could frighten me. I was happy he wasn't on _my_ bad side.

Edward took a firm grip around my hand and looked at me with stone eyes. I looked back, worried.

The wolf howled loudly, and I wanted to get away. The wolves were close now.

"Come!" Edward said and pulled me along. I followed with several back-glances.

"But the wolves –"

"Will not be happy about this. We should get back to the others as fast as we can."

I sighed miserably. Why couldn't all the hurt in this world just leave us alone to be happy?

-

We made it back to the house without further trouble, but I knew that was no reason to feel safe. The others were waiting for us in the living room, and as we came inside, I could see that Alice had curled up into a ball, rocking back and forth like a psycho mania. As soon as we came in, she danced to her feet and came to hug us both tightly. I could see that the others were on the edge of doing the same, but there were more important things at stake.

"What happened?" Rosalie asked. "Alice couldn't see. We were worried." She looked worried. And afraid. I saw her shoot a glance at Emmett. I knew how she felt, though I felt it more, I felt worst. Because I knew more than her. I knew that there really was reason to be afraid.

"The wolves," Edward explained. "They were there!"

Rosalie stiffened, and I could see that she wasn't just afraid now; she was terrified and furious.

"What were they doing there?" she snapped. "This is our lands!"

"Take it easy, Rosalie," Carlisle said and put a hand on her shoulder. "There's an explanation to this." He turned to Edward and me. "Edward? Did you hear their thoughts?"

Edward nodded with a deep frown. "They came because a woman on the reservation has disappeared. It was a vampire." The others, including me, stiffened.

"Who was it?" Esme asked. "Someone we know?"

Edward shrugged. "It wasn't one of us. They could smell that. But I don't know who it is."

Jasper cleared his throat and got everyone's attention. He looked at me. "What about Laurent and James?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I told them to stay away from La Push," I answered.

"But then who can it be?" Esme asked.

"I suggest we go find out," Emmett said roughly. "We go to La Push and find the vampire's track."

"No, Emmett!" Carlisle said harshly. "That would only resolve in more problems and violence."

Emmett's eyes were black, and I briefly thought that that may be what he wanted. But then again, even Emmett must understand the seriousness of the situation. And he surely didn't want anything to happen to Rosalie. I knew that.

"How else are we supposed to find out?" Emmett asked.

"Why do we need to find out?" Rosalie asked.

"So that we can clear our good name," Emmett answered and crossed his arms.

"What good name?" Jasper asked, and again, everyone looked at him. "To the wolves we'll always be bad news. To them, we don't have a good name!" He looked at Alice. "Have you seen anything?"

She shook her head. "No. Nothing. Whoever it was, I didn't see him or her come or leave."

"Maybe we could find the vampire's trail without going into La Push?" Emmett said.

Jasper shook his head. "It would be both too risky and difficult. Besides, again, what would we earn?"

"We could tell whoever it is to stay away from La Push in the future," I suggested and shuddered. "It seems we only keep getting more trouble." I looked at the floor. "It's my fault."

"Don't blame yourself, Bella," Esme said and rubbed my arm. She kissed my forehead. "We love you."

"I don't deserve it," I mumbled smudging. No one understood, except maybe Edward, who hugged me tighter.

"What do we do?" Rosalie asked.

"What is there to do?" Alice asked. "We must just try and sort it out with the wolves again."

"I don't think they'll be listening this time," Edward said.

"Jasper can make them," Alice said.

I looked at Carlisle. I was expecting some genius idea to come from him. Our father. He always knew what to do.

"Maybe we just have to wait this one out," he said.

My dead heart sunk.

"No," Jasper said and looked fiercely at us. His eyes were burning. Edward's hand bored into my skin, and I pressed myself against him. "I suggest that we don't wait this out. I suggest we don't pick up a fight. I suggest we leave."

The silence that his words left behind was filled with thoughts, with agony, with aggravation.

"What?" Rosalie exclaimed as the first. "Leave?"

"Yes," Jasper answered. "Leave Forks."

"But we just came here!" Emmett said.

Jasper looked harshly at him. "We've been here for two years, Emmett. We've all known that we would soon have to leave. The humans might suspect soon. We're not changing, remember? And now we have an even better reason to leave!"

Everyone were deep in thought, turning the subject to look at it from every possible aspect. I was already decided. I followed my family wherever they went.

"Maybe it's not the best way to handle it," Carlisle said. "When we come back later, even in generations, the problem will still be there."

"Then we just don't come back. There are plenty of cities like Forks," Jasper said.

"No!" Alice suddenly cut in fiercely, and everyone turned their eyes to her. "No, I won't let those _dogs_ make me leave my home! That's not fair! I like it here!"

Jasper stared at her, and I knew he was suddenly forced to rethink his suggestion. He wouldn't go anywhere without Alice, he wanted her to be happy. And if leaving put her in distress …

"I don't want to leave, either," Rosalie said. "I don't want to start all over again."

"Maybe we don't have to," Esme said. "We can go to Denali again."

I bit down my lower lip, feeling a deep, black hole forming inside me.

"No!" Alice said again. "We have to stay. We have to stand our ground!"

I looked at her with sad eyes. I wasn't sure if I agreed with her. Of course I didn't like that the wolves were coming, but I wanted my family to be safe. And they weren't in Forks. Not anymore.

"We could stay and just see what happens," Rosalie suggested. "If things turn out bad, we can leave. We've done that before."

Jasper nodded, and everyone but Alice followed up. Alice looked as if she was about to explode, but then she sighed, massaged her forehead and nodded. "Fine," she growled. Jasper came to stand in front of her, and he put his hands on her shoulders. They looked into each other's eyes. I looked away. It was so intimate, I felt as if I was intruding their personal space.

"Then it's settled," Carlisle said seriously. "We'll wait and see what happens. In the meantime, I don't think it's a good idea if any of you go to school. I'll have to keep going to the hospital, or people will suspect it. We'll say that you're being taught at home."

"Yes," everyone said.

Carlisle looked out of one of the enormous windows. "While this is on, we should stay near the house as much as possible, as close as possible. No one hunts alone. The teams should be at least at three, if not all of us." We nodded. Carlisle turned to Edward and Alice. "You two; look out for our family." He shot a look at everyone else. "Now I'll go pull you out of school."

And then he left.

---

Of course I couldn't say that Bella thought Tanya felt raped, but I kind of wanted her to. Because that's how Tanya must feel.

This was a sad chapter to write. I was on the edge of tears. I felt so sorry for Tanya!

The "I'm already there" can be understood in many ways – either, Bella is with her family, because the Cullens is her family, or she's with it because Edward is where her family really is. Or because her mind is already with the Denalis.

I know, they didn't get to be happy a lot. Sorry about that …


	22. Chapter 22

Yay! I finally finished chapter 22! YES!

Please enjoy! R&R! Then you'll get fake-cake ^^

-

22. AMENDS AND DEMANDS

The noise from the television and the game Jasper and Emmett were playing came from behind me and seemed far away. I was standing at the window, looking out into the rain. For the first time since I became a vampire, I felt depressed by the sight of clouds and rain. Maybe I was suddenly having a step back into my human mind. Maybe I was starting to think like back then. Back when I dreaded anything that had to do with rain or the word 'cold'. I remembered my fear about moving to Forks, how I had decided to go anyway so that my mother could be happy. If I had not been turned into a vampire, where would I be now? Here, in Forks? In the middle of wolves and vampires without knowing it. I'd probably see the Cullens from a distance since we'd be going to the same school. Would I have noticed the strange way they acted or just state them as freaks?

Would I have gotten to spend more time with Charlie?

The one thing I regretted the most about my human life, now that I could look back at it with an objective mind, was not spending enough time with my dad.

"He's okay, Bella," Rosalie said from my side. I hadn't noticed she'd come to stand by my side.

I frowned. Edward had gone with Carlisle this morning, to the hospital. He hadn't told me why, which made me nervous. I tried to tell me there was nothing behind the act, just some father-son thing that I would never understand.

"What is he doing there anyway?" I mumbled.

Rosalie touched my shoulder and turned me to face her. She smiled at me. "There's nothing to worry about. They're both fine. Edward is just really admirable when it comes to Carlisle, and he sometimes … Well, he goes to the hospital to learn."

"To learn?"

Rosalie nodded. "Edward have passed the medical study three times," she told me. My eyes widened.

"Three times?"

"Yes," Rosalie answered. "But he's not like Carlisle yet, so he can't use it. Carlisle isn't at all bothered by blood, but Edward's not like that, yet. He still smells it." She nudged my cheek. "But he's just preparing himself."

"Really?" I asked. Why hadn't he just told me that?

"You can call him," Rosalie suggested friendly.

I smiled. "No need," I said. "Thank you, Rosalie."

She smiled and hugged me. "You're my sister. This is what sisters do. Comfort each other."

"Thank you," I muttered again, and then we both laughed.

"Come, I'll show you what I do when I need to relax," Rosalie suggested. Then she grabbed my hand and dragged me through the house, till we got to the garage. She found a stool for me to sit on. Then she began scrambling with some tools that I didn't even have words to describe.

"What are you doing, Rosalie?" I asked.

Rosalie smiled at me. "This is my hobby!" she answered with a chuckle. "Jasper and Emmett fool around, Alice likes shopping and to play dress-up, Esme takes care of us, Carlisle's a doctor and Edward plays the piano. Oh, and reads. A lot. Anyway, I'm the 'booster'." She chuckled. She seemed strangely upbeat. I'd never seen her like this before.

"The what?" I asked, confused.

"I'm the one who boost our cars," Rosalie said and winked at me. I laughed.

"Wow," I said, "I didn't see that coming."

Rosalie grinned and began playing with the big, red jeep that was Emmett's car. I found that I really began feeling at ease, just watching her do what she liked doing. It was as if I was watching a child play with a new present the day after Christmas. I began folding and bending my shield; I hadn't trained in a while, and I needed a hobby, too, right?

I tried to force my shield to Rosalie, but in the time I'd been in Forks, my abilities had become less impressive concerning the moving of my shield; because I was no longer sure where my shield was and how to feel it.

So I tried to find it again. While I did it, I remembered all those days that I had used with Kate, training. And Tanya.

I realized that now that Tanya and the rest of my family had passed through my carefully developed mental wall, I would not be capable of concentrating on my shield. I wondered what had happened to Tanya. How the others were taking it.

I had, of course, called them right away, and told them that I would be delayed, but that I would come as soon as I could. They told me to take whatever time I needed. I was really letting them down, but I couldn't see what else to do. Tanya was gone, so the only thing I could do for my family in Denali was to comfort them, but my family in Forks was truly in danger. I knew it was a cynical way to look at it, but it was needed.

My Forks family had, of course, been sad about Tanya – Rosalie didn't say a word for six hours – but they didn't blame it on me. Carlisle said that Tanya would come back when she was feeling better.

But how could she ever come back, when she knew I was there? When she knew that her traitor sister was there.

I sighed in defeat and hid my face in my lab.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Rosalie asked from my left. I shook my head, and I felt her hand on my shoulder. "It's about Tanya, isn't it?" I thought about lying, but then I just nodded. What was there to do? She would know if I lied, even though she'd pretend she didn't. "Bella, we've told you not to feel bad for it. How else could things have gone than the way it did? You and Edward found each other. Think about that instead."

I looked up at her, and she smiled. She had oil on her cheek. It was weird how she still pulled off the most beautiful girl in the world.

I didn't answer her, just straightened and began playing with my shield again. She watched me for a moment, before she turned to go back to the jeep.

We spend most of the day like that. Eventually, one of us would say something, and the other would response, and so, we had a few conversations, but most of the time we spent in silence. But it was nice. Rosalie had an intimidating aura, but it was completely gone now; I felt perfectly at ease. I thought about if Rosalie may had the same gift as Jasper.

I began to get a hold of my shield again, but not as much as the last time I'd tried to shape it. I had an annoying headache that I knew would stay for a while, so I stopped to not make it worse.

That was when Alice suddenly stood in the garage.

She looked angrily at Rosalie. "You're ruining your clothes," she said coldly.

Rosalie waved from under the car. "Whatever, it's not even my favorite." If Alice had been a human, I would expect her face to turn red, and if she'd been a cartoon figure, smoke would come out of her ears.

"Take it easy, Alice," I said and rubbed her arm. She looked down at me with glaring eyes, but they slowly smoothed out.

She sighed. "Sorry. I guess I'm just really … Confused." She rubbed her nose bridge.

"About what?" I asked.

She gestured to the room with her arms. "About everything!" she answered. "I feel so lost! These wolves that makes my vision disappear is making us leave our home! Right now I can see so little. I know that if we move, I can see clearly again. But I don't want to leave. I like Forks."

I got to my feet and laid my arms around her. I patted her hair with my hand. "Don't worry, Alice, everything will work out fine. We're immortals, remember?"

"Even immortals can die," she murmured. "Or become something worse than dead."

"What's that?" I asked.

She turned and walked to the threshold, before she turned to look at me with sobbing eyes. "Ashes," she whispered and left.

-

Though it was entire four days since I had been ambushed by the wolves, Edward hadn't told me what had been going on between him and that brown wolf. But we were going on a hunting trip with Alice – because Alice's visions was clearer than usually, we felt positive we wouldn't be disturbed – and I was going to make him answer me.

Ever since he came back from the hospital, he hadn't left my side once. It was as if he was determined to make up for the time he'd lost with me. I had no complaint about that.

"We should go now," Alice told us. "Before my vision turns again."

Edward nodded and took a firm grip on my hand. Then we ran into the forest to hunt.

-

"Edward?" He turned his head to look at me. I marveled for a second over the beauty he concealed, the eyes that could make me melt or freeze into place. But I didn't let it inflict me now.

"Yes?" he asked.

I looked forward. Alice was a bit away, still in sight, though. "What was it that you and that wolf talked about?" I asked.

He frowned and looked away from my gaze. "It was nothing, Bella. Don't think about it."

"'She doesn't owe you anything'," I quoted him. "Am I supposed not to think about it? Who was that wolf?"

He shook his head. "You don't want to know."

"Edward, please." He looked at me, and for a minute I thought he was going to tell me, but then he shook his head.

"It will only make you sad," he said.

I stared at him. "Come on, Edward, that's not fair! You're just making me assume things that aren't true. Besides, the dog obviously wanted to talk with me, so I have a right to know."

Edward shook his head again, and I knew then that I wouldn't get any more out of him on this matter.

-

I began to worry much. We'd been waiting for almost a month, and we'd seen the wolves several times, though only on distance, and they stayed off our lands most of the time.

"See," Esme said. "Things are working out on their own."

Nobody said anything; everyone seemed to be relieved. But I couldn't shake off the worry, because Jasper was still very pessimistic, and I didn't believe him to be the kind of person who ever did anything without reason.

It was a sunny day, and as so often, I stood by the window and watched the trees dancing in the wind, hating that I couldn't go out and be among them.

Emmet was watching a game, while Jasper sat sulking in the couch by his side. Carlisle was on his office, and Rosalie, Esme and Alice was hunting.

And Edward was playing. It hadn't surprised me that he played well, but it surprised me that it was even possible to play as well as he did. The melody he played seemed somewhat familiar, and it was so quiet and beautiful, yet mystical. I loved it from the very first tone.

I turned around and sat down on the bench by his side to look at his hands dancing over the keys. I peeked at his face, half hidden by his bronze hair. I smiled. He seemed so at peace.

When he finished, he looked at me with unfathomable eyes.

"It was beautiful," I murmured, smiling at him. "Did you make it?" He just nodded, and I felt my body grow very tense as he just sat there and watched me. No, he didn't just watch me. He _saw_ me. Saw _through_ me. I had to lower my eyes, and I turned my head away. I could still feel his stare, though.

Then his hand was under my chin, and he turned my head again and held it slightly upward so that I was forced to stare into his eyes. He stroked my cheek with his other hand and cupped it under my jaw. I couldn't remember how to breathe. Not that I noticed.

I stared into his eyes, falling into the golden. Then he softly pressed his lips on mine, and the only thing I could do was to answer the kiss.

When he pulled back way too soon, he smiled as a man that has achieved anything he could possibly want from life. Even though we were in the middle of a stressed situation, it seemed that we were in our own bobble, out of reach for fear.

"It's your melody," he murmured.

"What?" I whispered.

"The song I played. It's your lullaby."

I smiled. "Lullaby? I can't sleep."

He smiled back, and answered: "It just seemed appropriate."

I laughed shortly and rested my head against his chest, feeling at ease. He secured his arms around me, and I felt safe for the first time in a while.

The noise from Emmett and Jasper didn't reach me. The only thing on my mind was Edward. My Edward. It was unbelievable how turn of events had ended up. I breathed in his scent, watched his muscles as his grip around me tightened, looked into his eyes and let myself sink into them.

Then I read alarm in them, and before I knew of it, I was at my feet, being yanked to the stairs by him.

"What's going on?" I asked. I could feel the tension around him. Something was wrong.

He looked back at me with torn expression. "I'll explain in a minute." I frowned and wondered if he was really going to do that.

"Edward?" Carlisle asked from top of the stairs.

Edward didn't answer, just turned to Jasper and Emmett. "Shut the TV and come upstairs with us."

"What?" Emmett asked, confused. "Why?"

"Because chief Swan is coming!" Edward hissed.

I stiffened in his hands, and I felt his arms tighten around me. What was my father doing out here?

"Is he here?" Carlisle asked, rushing down the other pair of stairs.

Edward shook his head. "Esme, Alice and Rosalie is on their way back. They'll be here in a few seconds. Alice saw him and came right away."

That was when the door in the kitchen opened, and Esme, Alice and Rosalie entered. Edward waved at Alice and Rosalie, who came to our side at once. Jasper and Emmett came, too, now that they knew what was going on.

"We hide up here," Alice said and pushed us down the hall. "Get him away as quickly as possible! The dogs might think we're up to something with him." She looked at me with an apologetic glance. "It wouldn't be hard for them to come to such a conclusion."

I shuddered at the thought, and let the other led me on the way. We went into Edward's room, sitting on the couch. All six of us went silent, wanting to hear what was going on downstairs.

I looked around in the room. I had only been there a few times, and it amazed me how much music Edward had again and again.

Then I heard the car. It sounded so familiar, I wanted to cry out loud. I didn't know how I could remember the roar of my dad's car, but I could. And it hurt. It hurt so bad.

Then the bell rang, and I hid my face in my hands. Several hands were on my back, patting it. Edward's hand stroke my hair, and I tried to concentrate on his touch, knowing it would send shivers through me.

"Chief Swan?" Esme said, playing her role as surprised perfectly.

"Good day, misses Cullen." The sound of my dad's voice caught through me like thousands and thousands of knives. I had never heard it like this before, and I for once wished that I didn't have this hearing. Because I could hear every shape of his voice, and of _him_. Because now that I could make out the shapes of his voice, I could figure out what he was feeling – because I knew him. I knew him so well. We'd always looked alike.

And I could hear it. I could hear how tired he was, how wasted. He was in pain, it was clear to me. Because of me.

I moaned and began rocking back and forth.

"What brings you out here?" Esme asked.

"Actually, a request from the school," Charlie answered, and I gave out a little cry. "Your kids haven't been to school the last month."

"No," Esme answered. "We pulled them out for home-schooling."

"Yes," Charlie said, clearing his voice. "But you never explained why. And the school wanted me to deliver some papers and tell you that your kids still have to go to examination." I sulked as I heard the lie. Even though I could hear him hand over the paper, I knew he was lying. The school hadn't asked him to do this. _He'd_ asked to do it _for_ them, or purposely made them ask him. But why?

"Of course," Esme said. "But that doesn't seem like the work of a police chief."

Charlie cleared his throat again. I imagined how he must feel, standing in front of Esme. "Actually," he said seriously. "I came to warn you."

"Warn us?" Esme asked, confused. I didn't know if this was acting.

"Yes," Charlie answered. "You see, many people at La Push are really worked up, all over your family. I've tried to talk with them, but they won't listen. I wanted to warn you that there might be trouble. I'd gladly help you any time."

"Thank you, chief Swan, but I don't think your help will be needed. The best thing we can do is to wait it out," Esme said, surprisingly calm. I knew she was very distressed about the whole thing.

"I hope you're right, misses Cullen. I'll see you at some other time."

"Certainly," Esme answered.

I heard Charlie leave, I heard Esme close the door. Then I couldn't take it anymore. The agony was tearing me apart. I got up and ran down the stairs, out the kitchen and into the forest. I knew someone would follow. That was good. Then they could help me when all sanity in my head was gone.

The hole that Tanya had left inside me was now growing bigger. Charlie was a part of it, too, now, and as Charlie became part of it, so did Renée and Phil. It started as a mental pain, but it slowly grew to be a physical one, and I stopped.

Only to realize that without running, I couldn't get my pain out.

So I screamed.

There was no point in the world I could hold on to anymore. Everything was lost in darkness. Everyone I loved was going to be in pain from now on because of me. I was worthless, just a person who created trouble.

But I couldn't leave. I had promised. I had promised I wouldn't leave.

And I also knew I couldn't. Because I couldn't stand not seeing Edward for more than a few hours, and the hole inside me would kill me if Edward was part of it.

"Bella," Alice said from behind me. I turned from where I sat on the ground, looking at Edward, Jasper and Alice. Edward was at my side at once, helping me up, tugging me into his arms.

I could feel Jasper's calming gift, and I was grateful. I would have to stay near him from now on. Because if Jasper wasn't there, I wouldn't know how to handle myself.

"Oh, Bella, you should have left," Alice said and came to hug me.

I shook my head against her shoulder. "No. Maybe it was good for me to hear him," I sobbed.

"It was not," Edward stated harshly. "You're in pain now."

"But Edward," I managed to say, "he's in so much grief! I can't stand it!"

"There's nothing to do about it, Bella," Jasper said, and I felt calmer. It didn't seem that his ability, however, could wash away all the feelings of guilt, horror, fear and hurt. The feelings were too strong.

"Is there really nothing to do?" I whispered and tugged myself closer to Edward, needing his support. He gave it to me, and I hid my face in his chest.

"I'm sorry, my love, but he's just gonna have to live with it."

I broke into tearless sobs.

"Bella," Alice said. "Humans heal. With time, he'll be okay."

"But he's all alone," I cried.

"No," Jasper said. "He's not. Don't blame yourself for what you couldn't help, Bella. You just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time."

"And with extremely potent blood," I growled.

"That, too," Jasper said. "The deal is, Bella, there was nothing you could do about what happened. You shouldn't feel guilty."

I closed my eyes and took in deep breaths. "But I should have spent more time with him," I whispered.

Alice rubbed my back. "Bella, you, too, will heal in time. Now, let's get back to the house. We shouldn't be out here."

I nodded and shot a weak smile at her. Then I noticed that her face was blank. I looked up at Edward, who was staring at her.

"What's she seeing?" Jasper asked and was in an instant at Alice's side. He sounded nervous.

"Nothing!" Edward answered.

We understood.

"Run!" Alice shouted. "We're still visible, but _they're_ not!"

I understood that, too. She could still see us. But Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie were gone.

We didn't hesitate; we ran as fast as we could. I wouldn't allow those moron _dogs_ to hurt my family!

When we finally arrived at the house, I could hear them coming. Inside, the others were waiting, worried.

"The wolves are coming," Alice burst out, shoving everyone into the living room.

Carlisle looked at Edward. "What do they want?"

Edward snarled. "They wanna talk," he answered. Two of them are in their human forms." He shot a glance at me, and I figured that the brown wolf was one of them.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Esme asked and put her arm around my shoulder.

I nodded fiercely. "Yes. Right now, it's just about the wolves."

She nodded back at me, and I saw something harsh in her eyes; she agreed. Right now, the wolves were the only thing that mattered to her. The wolves and that they weren't going to hurt her family. I could read it in her eyes. She was ready to sacrifice anything for us. Even herself.

Then I could hear the wolves outside.

"Come," Carlisle said, and we followed him outside.

They were eight wolves, standing on a line in front of our house, looking vicious. I didn't move a muscle in my face as their eyes moved to me.

"Why are you here?" Carlisle asked.

"Why don't you just ask your mind reader?" someone asked from behind the wolves. Then two men walked forth; they were both unbelievable big. They had dark skin and short, dark hair. Werewolves in their human form. "But I don't think you have to," the man to my right side said – it was the same who had spoken before. "You already know what we're here for."

"No, we don't," Emmett said harshly. "So stop stuttering about and spit it out."

Several wolves growled.

"It wasn't us," Edward said by my side, and I looked up at him, trying to read his expression.

The wolves growled even louder, and Emmett shot a glance at Edward. "Didn't do what?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter whether it was you. The treaty does not consider that! A vampire came to our lands and killed another innocent!" The wolves' leader – as I assumed that he was – looked at each of us with dark eyes, halting a second at me. "And she looked an awful lot like _her_!" He pointed at me, and I couldn't help widening my eyes. They believed _I_ did it?

"Bella have been here the whole time," Esme said, her fingers clutched together in fists.

"We know she drank his blood!" the leader exclaimed furiously.

Esme stepped forward.

Carlisle put his hand on her shoulder and shot a quick glance at Jasper before he turned to the wolves. I knew Jasper send calm over both us and them.

"Bella didn't kill anybody, much less drank blood," Carlisle said politely.

"We have no reason to believe you, bloodsucker!"

"You have," Carlisle said. "Bella's eyes are golden. Not crimson, as they would have been if she had drunk human blood." The leader turned his eyes on me again, and I met them without caution, knowing it was evident.

The werewolf narrowed his eyes and snapped his head back towards Carlisle. "Even if what you say is true, a human has still died!"

"That was not our mistake," Carlisle said calmly.

The leader's expression was hard to read. It was somewhat at peace but still angry. It must be Jasper's doing. The werewolf probably didn't know what was going on. I didn't feel empathetic.

"It is your duty to make sure other vampires does not enter our lands, much less kill humans! I thought bloodsuckers like you would have more guts to protect your territory."

Emmett growled vaguely, but Jasper did his job well, and I could see the leader's face smooth a bit, but he tried to maintain the anger.

"Listen," I suddenly heard myself say, and I stepped one step forward, feeling Edward's arm trying to make me stay. But I didn't respond. "When I came to La Push, I didn't know that I wasn't supposed to be there. I am gravely sorry for having caused so much trouble. But I haven't been in La Push since, and I'm not planning on going there ever again. Please just leave my family be." I looked seriously at the wolves, one by one, giving myself time to capture their stay, making myself stand it.

The leader looked at me through narrowed eyes. "But you came to La Push with the intent to kill."

I wasn't sure if it was an assumption, a question or a statement. However, I answered.

"I came to Forks because I was confused, and I had nowhere else to go. I wanted to make sure that Charlie was safe." I stopped myself in cringing, but inside, I was crying at the very mentioning of my dad.

"But why did you come to _La Push_?"

It wasn't the leader of the wolves who burst this; it was the big guy standing beside him. I hadn't taken a look on him yet, seemingly not having the time, but now I looked at him. I felt Edward's arm freeze around me. This must be the brown wolf who wanted to talk with me. He did sound like he urged to know my answer. But why? Why was my answer so much more important to him than to me?

As I looked at him, it was as if there were something familiar about him, but I cleared my mind of the thought; I had been La Push as human, and even though the memories were fuzzy, I might have seen him there.

I decided to tell somewhat the truth.

"Charlie wasn't home," I said, looking into the werewolf's eyes. "I was worried about him, and I wanted to know what he knew of me, and what my parents thought had happened to me. When he wasn't home, I checked his messenger machine, and one of his old friends had called him. That's how I got the idea to go to La Push. I wanted to see if Charlie was either in La Push, or if they knew something that could help me."

"So you were just going to knock on our door and ask us if we'd seen Charlie and then just leave?" the werewolf exclaimed. Then his eyes popped out wide, and he shut his mouth.

I stared at him. The shape of his face, the color of his eyes …

"Jacob?" I whispered. "Jacob Black?"

He groaned. "Yes," he answered. "That's me."

I didn't know what to say. One of my childhood friends were a werewolf, and I was a vampire.

"Jacob, I –" I whispered, but couldn't say anymore, speechless. Everyone watched us.

"You were just going to walk into our house?" he suddenly burst out. "What if you had hurt us?"

I stepped back into Edward's arms and looked away. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I didn't mean to hurt anybody."

I couldn't say anymore, and, obviously, he could see that. He didn't say anymore.

"We let you be for now," their leader growled. "But you better keep any bloodsuckers out of town and away from La Push!"

Carlisle nodded.

"And as for her," he looked at me. "Make sure she doesn't get loose. Or we'll be back."

Then the wolves turned and ran away.

-

So, something from Winternight snuck into this story xD And I have a feeling more will come.

I know, the ending was very disappointing, but I couldn't find a better way to stop the chapter. I'm sorry.

Thank you for all your amazing reviews! They make me write faster and more passionately ^^ Please, do point out things you don't understand, or things you want to have answered, or want to happen in the story.

Love

Dawn


	23. Chapter 23

For all you faithful readers

I'm sorry it's taken so long before I finished this chapter, but I've been so busy! So, moving on.

Everyone: Brace yourselves for the upcoming!

23. DANGER

I had given up on listening to the argument. It had been going on for hours. Even though Jasper had no one on his side, he fought bravely for his case. Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Edward were against the whole thing.

And Esme and I were in the middle. All we wanted was for the family to be safe.

"We should just go down there and kick their fuzzy little buts!" Emmett clarified, clearing out his meaning once again.

I rested my head against the window, looking outside, thinking one of the wolves might come, as Jasper told Emmett why that was a bad idea.

Jacob Black. For some reason I couldn't get him out of my head. I vaguely remembered his sisters, whom I'd played with. I would have never guessed we would end up enemies.

And what about Charlie?

"We're not leaving!" Alice shouted, and for the first time in an hour, I turned to look at my family. The atmosphere were tense. Jasper wasn't even trying to get things under control. Maybe he was too obsessed.

"Stop this," I said quietly, but they all heard me. They turned to look at me. I was tired of their arguing. "This isn't getting us anywhere. What we should do is what is the best for the family. I'm on Jasper's side. I think we should leave."

They stared at me, but Edward broke the silence. He came to stand by my side. He looked into my eyes, and said: "I'm with you."

"Well, but I'm not!" Rosalie insisted. "We're staying! No way are we gonna let those morons kick us out of our own home!"

"I agree," Alice hissed.

"Let's leave the topic for now," Carlisle suggested. "Bella's right. This isn't leading to anything but more arguing."

Jasper just nodded and walked up to his room. Alice followed him, suddenly wearing a worried expression on her face.

I felt Edward's eyes on my face, and I turned to wrap my arms around his chest. "I hope this will soon be over," I murmured.

He stroked my hair. "Me too," he murmured and kissed my forehead. I looked up, and it was as if he was suddenly hit by some sort of inspiration. "You're beautiful," he whispered, as if he had just gotten an epiphany.

I laughed. "You too," I answered and put my hand on his cheek. I stretched up on my toes to kiss him, but when he lowered his head, I didn't have to.

The kiss was – as always – over too soon. I sighed and rested my head against his chest again. This was the only place I truly felt at ease – where Edward's arms could reach me and protect me. That was all I needed then, I told myself. His arms. His voice. His smell. His face. His eyes. Him.

"Argh!" Emmett exclaimed after a bit of time. "I can't stand this!" He got to his feet, Rosalie by his side, looking warily at him. Edward was just the tiniest bit tense, too. "Let's go outside! I need to run!"

It was Edward he addressed his words to, and Edward seemed to be thinking about them.

"I could need to run, too," I said quietly. "It's strangely tiresomely to stay indoor all the time."

Edward nodded. He looked at the stairs. "Does anyone want to come for a run?" Nobody answered, but I knew that they all did in their thoughts. He looked back at us. "It's just gonna be us."

Emmett grinned and hurried outside.

"I hope we don't see any wolves," I murmured.

"Come on, Bella!" Emmett laughed. "We're four vampires, one of us being a silly little newborn. Who could take us down?"

"Maybe ten crazy werewolves?" I asked darkly, hating the fact that I wasn't fast enough to recoil from his fussing my hair.

"Come on!" Emmett just replied and began running.

I set off, digging deep holes in the earth as I ran.

Not knowing what was awaiting us.

-

It was amazing to run like that again! Without a care, just run, without knowing where to. But still, have a place to return to.

We ran for hours, stopping a few times if we saw anything interesting, sitting down and relaxed in the woods if that was what we felt like.

But mostly, we just ran.

"Maybe we should get back," Rosalie suggested, instantly blackening the mood.

"You're right," Edward said, taking my hand. I noticed he held on tightly.

Emmett sighed. "I guess you're right."

I looked at Emmett's face and thought about how he was doing. I had never really given myself time to think about Emmett and how _he_ felt about everything. He was the bodyguard of the family, the … Kid. And he wanted to play with the wolves. He thought it was wrong for us to hide out.

Did he feel like a coward? Was that why he seemed … Distant?

"Bella?" Edward asked close to my ear.

I nodded absentmindedly. "Coming."

I didn't think about where we were running; I just followed the others. My mind was set on different tracks – like Edward holding my hand. It was strange how that little touch could make me dizzy.

So I didn't realize the danger before it happened.

The smell was all around us; sweet, delicious, comforting, calling, warm – new. I stopped in an instant, feeling something roar inside me that hadn't come forth for a long time. Craving thirst. I hadn't hunted in a while. And I could smell it. Blood. Humans. Here.

Another kind of dizziness hit me. I looked at Edward, Rosalie and Emmett who had also stopped. I could see that they had also noticed it. None of us had hunted in some time now; we didn't dare go out much. We should have hunted on this trip, but we'd been planning to do it on the way home.

And now a prey so delicious the mind could not imagine was right in front of us.

How would I be able to resist?

The others would help me. They would make me stop.

But as I tried not to breath, I thought that I didn't want them to. I wanted to bite through the soft skin of a humans neck, feel the warm sensation of blood spilling on my tongue, leaving traces of unbelievable, fulfilling thirst-killer, putting out the constant fire in my throat, leaving me free.

"Bella, no!" Rosalie gasped as I stepped forward, but I was too fast. I pushed her out of my way, not wanting any of them to stop me, and then ran. I ran as quickly as I could. The trace got better and better, closer, I could smell them, I would find them, and I would –

Become the red-eyed monster I hated. I wouldn't be worthy of Edward anymore, not worthy of letting Tanya down; I would have to leave of pure shame.

I stopped, but I forgot to hold my breath again, and the scent was too much. My body reacted on its own, not listening to my brain.

That was when I felt arms all around me, holding me where I was. There were two set of arms.

I gasped and looked around to find Edward and Rosalie holding me.

"No!" I growled and tried to kick them away. I snarled furiously, wanting the blood, wanting it more than anything.

"Bella, don't." The pleading voice, the gentle touch.

He was enough. He was more than any drop of blood.

I relaxed my muscles and held my breath. He wrapped his arms around me, and I hid my head in his chest. I could feel Rosalie's hand brushing my hair.

"There, there," she whispered motherly. I reached for her hand and found it. I held on tightly, as if that could keep me from sinking in as before; keep me from giving in to the red eyes.

"Where's Emmett?" I whispered, not taking in any more air.

Edward froze.

"He was here before," Rosalie whispered.

"Emmett!" Edward shouted through the forest.

Rosalie was gone in less than a second, and Edward pulled me with him, and we were running again.

"Emmett! No!" Edward shouted again and again. I didn't hear Rosalie. She was gone. I had never thought she could run that fast.

"Emmett, don't!" I heard her say firmly. We reached a clearing where Rosalie lay on top of Emmett's back, trying to hold him down, but he was too strong; he simply got to his feet again, trying to get her off of him without hurting her. He couldn't; he was Emmett, and he was ravenous.

Rosalie gasped surprised when she hit the ground. Emmett took off again.

Edward left my hand grasping in the air, and I heard him punch a growling Emmett to the ground. I hurried to Rosalie's side, grasping her hand and pulling her with me. But I had breathed. My head was swirling with the scent, and Edward wasn't there ….

"Bella, hold your breath. It'll be all right," Rosalie said calmingly behind me, but desperation was there, too. I never had imagined that Rosalie could freak out that much about a few human's lives. She was different than I was, but apparently, we were more alike than I thought.

"Emmett, get a grip! Hold your breath!" Edward growled, trying to keep his voice down. He must be able to hear the human's thoughts now.

Emmett tried to shake him off, but Rosalie and I were there in an instant, and we helped Edward; especially my newborn powers secured him there. A few seconds went before he was able to concentrate on not breathing. Slowly, he became himself again, and he looked at us, then at the ground.

"Sorry," he murmured.

Rosalie ran her fingers through his hair. "Don't think about it," she said, smiling so dearly.

Edward froze, and everyone looked at him. "What?" I asked.

"They heard us. They knew. They were preparing. Damn it!" Edward growled, pulling us up. "We should get out of here, we don't want to make the wound deeper."

Rosalie wrinkled her nose, and her eyes were utterly dark. "Mongrels," she breathed heavily.

"Let's go!" I whispered, but they all heard me. We were on our way immediately. A fight with the wolves could mean the end of our time in Forks – forever. We could never return, because the wolves in the next generations would hear of us.

But the wolves had already surrounded us. All we could try to do was to maneuver, but even that was impossible. Finally, we settled for just standing with our backs to each other, waiting restlessly for them.

I could hear them come, and the wind brought their scent. I wrinkled my nose and held my breath. I hated that smell. It was so … Smelly. It made me nauseous, the very worst kind of nauseous; the one where you couldn't puke!

The wolves were surrounding us then; there were five of them. Maybe we could take them down, but that would only make things worse; Edward had told us that the wolves' minds were connected, and so, if any other wolves than these were in their wolf form, they would see this.

None of the wolves were in their human form. They stood there and snarled. I noticed the brown wolf, Jacob Black, wasn't there.

"We haven't done anything," Edward growled. "Go away and we can all leave with peace."

The wolves growled more furiously, and several of them glanced at me, then growled even deeper. I noticed Edward slipped a bit closer to me. What were they thinking?

"No! She didn't do anything!"

They stepped closer, and I instinctively stepped back.

"You're warned now! If you attack, it'll be your own fault!"

They looked at him with black eyes, and then they formed a half circle around us, all facing me. Edward grasped around my wrist, a wolf howled and stepped back, the rest sprang for me. Edward got me out of the way, but somehow, the wolves were pushed away.

Emmett were standing in front of us.

The wolves got to their feet and attacked without hesitation. Edward freed me and knocked a wolf away from Emmett, instantly pinning it to the ground while Emmett were occasionally preoccupied by two of the wolves, leaving only two left, but the one that had not attacked in the first place turned around and ran.

I was bewildered, but I didn't get to for more than half a second, then Rosalie saved me from the last wolf.

I turned to see Emmett in serious trouble with the two wolves, though he'd deny it. And surely enough, he was grinning. Maybe he wasn't in that much trouble after all. Still, I attacked none the less.

I knocked a wolf to the ground and snapped for it, but it growled and pushed me down. My left hand held its throat so it couldn't snap me, while my other hand was trying to knock its feet away. As I finally got it done, the wolf fell down on me, its teeth suddenly very close to me.

It was about to take a snap at me, when it was knocked off of me. Edward sprang over me, growling with pure hate.

I flew to my feet, but I was too occupied with watching anxiously while Edward fought the wolf, that I didn't think about the one that Edward had left behind.

Pain bored through my shoulder, splintering my bones, cracking sounds slipping through the air, pulling me into a short state of strange darkness.

I had only once lived through more pain; when I was turned into a vampire. Besides that, there was nothing compared to this. My nerves and muscles in my arm were still working, yet, when I moved them, nothing happened. And my hand was grasping something. Grass.

The wolf no longer bit through my arm, and I turned to growl at it, pain slipping through.

Then I saw it.

On the grass was the destroyed sleeve of my shirt. And my arm. I tried to move the index finger on my right arm, and saw the hand move.

I gasped and stepped back. I raised my eyes to the wolf, and several sets of incomprehensible words and growls ran through my mouth and mind, all I could comprehend was the wolf, the huge, black wolf that was going to pay for what it did.

All my newborn power sought through me left arm, making cracks in bones, mysterious, scary sounds, that made the wolf howl in furiously agony. I grasped it around the jaw and pulled with all my strength.

The wolf howled once more.

Then it didn't move again. It lay on the ground with a loose jaw, blood flowing from its mouth.

Everything was dead silence. Behind me was no fighting. It was as if I, too, was still. Like the first second of my new life, when I experienced that my heart did not beat anymore.

The world had stopped beating.

I had killed. There were blood on my hands, and not even tasty blood.

Behind me, a wolf began sniffing small howls. I got a grip at myself and turned around to reach for my arm. Edward moved stiffly towards me, not looking away from the dead wolf. Then he looked at the arm in my left hand, and his eyes grew hard. I knew he wouldn't blame me for what I did. He would have done something worse.

"Come," he whispered and grabbed my left shoulder to turn me around. Rosalie and Emmett was beside us as we ran. We hurried. The wolves didn't follow. Instead, a wall of sorrow and howling raised from behind us, deciding our destiny.

-

And then there finally happened something! I was surprised that this was actually in character – since, as I wrote it, I was in character. So Bella is capable of killing. Nice to know.

Cake for anyone who review! Big, nice, fake-cake!

Love

Dawn


	24. Chapter 24

This chapter is very strange. R&R

-

24. WAR

I was paralyzed as we ran back to the house. The others were quiet, too, and the atmosphere were tense. My arm still hurt; well, the two parts I could feel. My shoulder and the arm in my left hand. It was weird and creepy and freakish and enough to make anyone who could faint on the spot.

"Hurry!" Rosalie hissed as we saw the house and the river. We jumped. Even though I felt shaky on my legs, apparently, I was fine.

"What happened?" Alice shrieked. She almost seemed paler than usual, her eyes so vivid, I thought they almost fell out.

The rest of my family were behind her.

They stared at me – no, at what I had in my hand.

"Get inside!" Edward hissed.

No one questioned his order, everyone just followed as he led inside. He pulled me to the couch where I sat down. Carlisle instantly came to my side. He reached for my right arm, and I willingly gave it to him. I didn't look at anyone, just at his hands as they worked on my shoulder. As he lifted the arm closer to my shoulder, I felt a strong pull between shoulder and arm, and like a south and a north pole, they clued to each other, and while Carlisle still held his hand there, making sure they stayed together, I could feel muscles and bones grow slowly back together.

It was not a process without pain, and I had to fight back many grimaces.

"What happened?" Esme asked. I looked up and saw everyone staring at me except Edward; his arms were crossed and he glared at the floor. Was he angry with me?

I looked at the others. Jasper was. He must be. His eyes were so piercing, I had to look away.

"We were out running," Rosalie finally said. "But on our way home, we came across a human trail. Bella …" She hesitated and looked at me.

They knew.

"Did anything happen?" Carlisle asked anxiously.

"No!" I answered quickly. "No, I didn't harm the humans."

"Then why …" Esme pointed at me with worried eyes.

"We got Bella under control, but then Emmett couldn't catch a break and had to try and get us into more trouble. Then the wolves came, and they attacked. Then we defended ourselves. During the fight, Bella …" It was Edward who had hurried over the details, and now he flinched, revealing his feelings for the first time since we got back. "Bella killed the wolf as a result."

I looked away from them as everyone turned to stare. Or glare. They had a right to. The wolves were going to come now, and what would happen to us? Everything was my fault.

"Bella, you –" Carlisle began, but Emmett cut him off.

"No one can blame Bella for what she did!" he said harshly. In five steps he was by my side, laying his hand on my good shoulder. "They attacked us first! If anyone's to blame, it's me."

Edward's head had snapped up, and he stared at Emmett, not unkindly. Just surprised.

"The wolves are certain to act on this," Carlisle said.

"We leave," Jasper growled, and I bit my lip as I heard his voice. "We have to leave now. The wolves are on their way!"

"No, they're not!" Alice bit him off. "Our future is very unclear and shifting constantly; I can't focus on the pictures. I don't know what's going to happen, but right now, the wolves are not planning on giving us a visit."  
"Not now," Jasper growled.

"They _will_ come," Edward said. "But they'll bury their lost brother first. Then they'll come. This gives us time! Let's use it cleverly."

A crack from my shoulder gave me everyone's attention again. I snarled quietly and flinched in pain. Edward was instantly there, holding my face in his hands.

"Are you …" He shook his head. "Of course you're not." He just brushed my hair.

"Bella, this must be the most …" Jasper pinched his nose-brig and shook his head, closing his eyes.

"I know," I whispered, then gave out a cry of pain as several muscles reattached themselves.

Carlisle stood and stepped away from me. "I agree with Jasper." I flinched again. "We must leave immediately."

"What?" Emmett asked incredulously. "Are we just gonna leave the wolves be? After what they've done? Bella is the proof that we can take them down –"

"But at what cost?" Carlisle said in a loud, harsh voice, clearly putting Emmett in his place. Emmett didn't response, just turned his head to me, and I looked into his eyes.

We were the only ones who understood. If we didn't finish the business with the wolves, we were never going to have peace.

But if we wanted to never more be bothered by the wolves, we would have to take out everyone with their blood. The thought made everyone complicated; I wanted to protect my family, but running away wasn't the answer.

Ruthless killing wasn't, either.

"We'll go to Alaska," Carlisle said.

"We can't stay there forever," Rosalie pointed out.

Esme put a gentle hand on her shoulder. I peeked at Carlisle. He didn't look as the patient type right now.

"We'll find out about that," Esme said calmly and tried with a hesitant smile. "Right now, we just have to leave."

I moaned and let myself fall down, back on couch, as another deafening crack. Nobody breathed.

"Bella," Carlisle said, gentle again. I had my eyes closed, but he took my hand and nudged it. "You're going to be all right."

I snorted and cried out again. I felt sore in my whole body. But he was right. I could feel that it was almost over. How easy it was for me to be put back together. If I could, I would have goose bumps.

"We'll go today," Carlisle said.

"But our stuff," Alice exclaimed.

"We can always buy it anew," Carlisle said and reached for Alice. She stepped into his arms, and he rubbed her back.

"But it won't be the same," she sulked.

"We'll make it," Carlisle said. "We always do."

-

Nobody spoke while my arm and shoulder worked on healing. It was painful, but almost over. I rolled with my neck. It, too, had been hurt, but it seemed to have also put itself back together. I remembered the wolf's teeth boring into my skin and shivered. They were so strong. How was that possible? And it had felt so hot when she was surrounded my them, as if she was burning. And the smell …

A last crack announced that I was finished. I tried rolling with my shoulder again. I was fine. I pulled myself up and made punches in the air.

"Fine," Jasper said. "So can we go?"

The others had used the time to find their very most important things. I had asked Edward to get _Wuthering Heights_ for me, and he gave it to me now.

"No," Alice suddenly whispered, and I instinctively looked at her. Her face was hard. "No more time. Go. Now."

She was already outside the door, followed by Jasper. Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie ran, too. Emmett nodded to us.

"Come," he said and disappeared, too.

I reached for Edward's hand, and noticed that he was looking at the other end of the room. I tried to look in his direction and saw the piano.

I touched his cheek, and he turned his eyes to me. I smiled at him. He wrapped his arm around my waist.

And then we left our home behind.

Forever.

-

We caught up with the others quickly. Everyone looked around cautiously, knowing that the wolves were close. Due to Edward's expression, I imagined they were close.

"How much longer?" I asked.

"A few minutes."

My jaw tightened and I looked at Carlisle's back. "We can make it."

If we were quickly enough, we could get so far away the wolves wouldn't haunt us further. Of course, this was just a dream. I'd killed one of their brothers. They would follow us till we were dead.

"There's no point in running," Emmett growled. "They'll follow us, even if they never catch up with us. Listen, I don't wanna spend the rest of my life running."

"We can run to Alaska and take the fight there," Edward suggested.

"No," I said. "It's nine on eight! We can take them!"

They stared at me, but I was determined not to let that distract me.

"I think she's right," Jasper said, and he stopped. The rest of us only ran a short twenty meters before turning and going back to him.

"Fine," Carlisle said. He flashed a look at Esme. "But if it looks like it's going wrong, we'll go!"

"Ay ay!" Emmett said, grinning. Rosalie hurried to his side, clearly to protect him, though I wasn't sure Emmett would need that. Alice danced to Jasper, taking his hand. They didn't look at each other, but it was as if they were having a mental discussion that no one else could hear.

Edward pulled me close to him and looked into my eyes. Then he kissed me.

It was a fierce kiss, a kiss that frightened me. It was hard and gentle at the same time, as if he was never going to kiss me again. Did he believe we would lose?

The thought of the possibility made me answer his lips without more thought, wanting to taste him before this battle.

As we parted, we looked into each other's eyes, and I saw a promise there, in his eyes; he wasn't going to let us lose. At least, he wasn't going to let me die. He wasn't going to let me die at any consequences, at any losses.

He'd do anything.

I couldn't let him do that. So a promise shone from my eyes; I wouldn't let him hurt himself.

Then we turned to face what was coming. What I could hear. We let go of each other, and I lifted my hands, ready to fight.

Then the wolves were in front of us, and we formed a perfect line; two forces, readying themselves to battle.

As I looked into one of the wolves' eyes, I saw madness; they weren't going to give up. Some of them would have to die, before we could get rid of them. I shivered slightly. I didn't like the thought of killing. I looked around at my family. If it was a necessity, I was going to do it. To protect those I loved.

Emmett sprang for a big grey one, and it had begun.

Everything was clear, detailed flashes of fur and white skin. I saw a big brown wolf launch for me, but it was not Jacob.

But as I was busy taking care of Brownie, a beige wolf came sauntering towards us, soon crouching down to jump upon me.

Blondie and Brownie made front against me, but I knotted my fists, not feeling fear at all. When they attacked, I didn't step back, instead, I stepped forward, punching my fists upward, and with unknown strength, I pushed both of them to my sides, making them roll around in the dirt.

A soft, threatening growl escaped my throat, and my eyes flickered from one two another. I made sure at all time to stand in the middle of them. When the launched for me again, I duck down, letting them smash into each other, after which I ripped my blade-sharp hands through their skin. Howls escaped them, but they weren't really hurt.

I stepped back, one arm in front of my heart, the other one over my head. "That was the warning," I whispered.

Emmett rolled by behind me, covered with three wolves, and then Rosalie frantically followed.

I put my feet deep into the ground, and then I shot myself out, coming at Brownie, giving him no advantage. His face was right in front of me –

Blondie crashed into me and we rolled around on the ground, both trying to get a grasp of the other one.

I groaned surprised when a paw ripped up my clothes in my back, and I was sure that it left marks, too – marks that would heal in no time.

I knocked my knee into Blondie, kicking bones out of my way.

Edward was suddenly over me, pulling me away, behind him, and then he pushed Brownie away; Brownie had, apparently, planned a sneak attack behind my back.

Bad Brownie.

I had tasted victory. We were near. We could win; we could take them down.

Edward shot a glance at me, and I saw myself in his eyes; I saw the vivid eyes, the excited look.

Even though that woman did not have red eyes, it was the same monster as if she had.

I stepped back.

"No," I said to him. "We shouldn't."

Edward raised his eyebrows. I looked around. Alice was fighting a smaller, grey wolf, but it suited her, because Alice was small, too. But Alice was quick.

We had the high ground, but we should not take advantage of this. He saw this in my face, and he smiled for some reason.

All this happened in less than a second, and when he turned back, he grasped Brownie in the fur and swung him away.

He crouched down, ready to protect me. Blondie threw himself at us, at my side, but Edward was there instantly, and was knocked to the ground, a paw clutching in his face. I screamed incomprehensibly.

No! Edward!

I growled and moved to help him, but before I could, I was knocked down. When I fought to lay on my back, I looked into his face.

His wolf face, but still, his face.

Jacob.

I stared into his eyes, waiting for the bite. But it didn't come. He just stared into my eyes. And I knew what he was saying. He was right.

Then he stepped away from me and howled. He turned around and ran back into the forest. The other wolves didn't look at him, but I got to my feet and looked around. Edward was on his feet again, deep scratches in his face.

"You can't beat us," I said firmly. "Go. This leads to no good."

The wolves did not listen, but my family did. They gathered around me.

And then we began to retreat. Slowly, we stepped back. The wolves growled at us, but none of us flinched.

We turned and ran.

They didn't follow us. When I looked back, it was as if they were bound where they were. As if someone had ordered them to stay, and they had no choice. They growled lowly.

I looked at Edward and the scratches in his face.

Jacob had freed me. For now. Freed me from the monster inside of me. He'd reminded me of who I was.

But that monster would fight for me to give in again and again.

I reached for Edward's hand.

Later I realized that I had dropped _Wuthering Heights_.

-

I just watched _Sweeney Todd_ and _that's_ why this chapter was so damn bloody and weird and out of character! But I can't see it any other way. Bella looses herself. Yes, the moron dog, Jacob, helped her.

By the way; Alice fought Leah. Just so you know xD I've noticed that's the kind of little details you like. As for who Bella killed, that'll be answered later.

Cake for everyone who reviews! Or brownies, if that's better ;)

Love

Dawn


	25. Chapter 25

Sorry this took so long, but I've gotten a new toy! I can now play with videos ^^ YAY!

R&R

-

25. FORGIVENESS

-

I was surprised at how well and at home I felt when I saw the house. During our run, we'd called them to tell them we were coming. They would be expecting us.

Even though I knew Tanya would be missing, I was so happy to see the house and to know that I would soon see the rest of my family – but one – that I made a little jump.

Edward looked at my smiling face, and he smiled, too, as if the mere fact that I was happy made him happy.

I ran up front and was the first to get to the door. I knocked once and opened the door, smiling widely, though I was also sad that Tanya would not be there to greet me.

"Bella!" many voices exclaimed, and I was overthrown by several bodies, and I laughed while I held my family in my arms. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed them, hadn't realized how big a part of me they were. As Carmen tugged herself closer to me, I felt even more guilty that Tanya wasn't there.

"Bella, it's so good to see you!" Carmen whispered and kissed my cheek.

"You too," I murmured and snuggled closer to her.

When I released myself from my sisters and brother, Eleazar asked Carlisle what had happened, and the others began to tell.

I stepped back from them, into Edward's arms, not looking at anyone as the story of my murder was told.

Who was it that I had killed?

"Oh, Bella," Carmen whispered and put her arms around me, fighting off Edward's.

"I've brought all of us in danger," I murmured. "I'm so sorry."

"Bella, don't blame yourself for this," Esme said.

"Then who should be blamed?" I asked and looked at her with stone-hard eyes. "No. I'm the one to blame. And I won't let anymore happen."

Carmen stroked my hair. "Bella, don't think like that. Everything will work out okay."

I didn't answer – I didn't have her confidence, and I didn't like acting, since I'd always been bad at it.

"So what about the wolves?" Eleazar asked. "Will they come here?"

Edward shook his head and wrapped his arms around me from behind. I noticed Kate cocking her head to the side, looking at us, but I didn't look back. I considered breaking Edward's hold, but I decided not. I needed him right now.

"I'm pretty confident that they won't," Edward said. "They didn't follow us when we ran, though that could mean nothing. We hurt them pretty bad."

"Why is it that they didn't follow us?" Jasper asked.

"Yea, if someone killed one of you guys, I would go all crazy," Emmett said. I frowned.

"They _did_ go all crazy, but their leader didn't."

"Huh?" I asked, unable to come up with any other words.

"The black wolf you killed was … Their leader," Edward said. "Sam. If it was not because I had made him tired before he turned on you, you would have been in a lot of trouble."

I frowned. Did he forget I _did_ get in a lot of trouble? Well, I probably should give him more credit. He fuzzed more over the arm-thing than I did. He would have done something much worse to this Sam guy if he'd gotten to him first.

For some reason, I was glad Edward hadn't gotten to the wolf. That would have been more than Sam deserved, I was sure.

"So who's the leader now?" Carlisle asked.

Edward took my hand and squeezed it. "Jacob Black," he answered. "He's the alpha."

Jacob Black?! My eyes widened. I remembered clearly how he tried to get me back to my senses, that he didn't attack me. He mustn't hate me, then. Or maybe he just didn't want to kill his father's friend's daughter, even though everybody thought she was already dead.

I winced at the thought of my dad and what he might think of me.

But if Jacob was the new alpha, he should hate me even more. Not enough with the fact that I'd brought the whole wolf thing on him – now he was the alpha, too! Wow, I didn't just have bad luck – I inflicted it on others. Or maybe I was just doomed to make people miserable. Like Tanya.

"What happened?" Emmett asked.

"He ordered them to stay away from us. Even though it was against their will, he used the power he's got as a leader, even though he didn't like to force them to anything. The other wolves weren't too happy about it, either. But they'll forgive him." I heard something in Edward's voice as he explained.

He was fascinated! By the wolves!

Why?!

"So there's nothing to fear?" Irina asked.

Edward shook his head. "There shouldn't. And if things turn out bad," he nodded to Alice, "we've got an advantage they won't be looking for."

"We hope it isn't a problem that we'll be staying for a little while. Just until we figure out what to do next," Carlisle said politely.

Eleazar nodded. "You can stay as long as you want to."

I could feel the tense in the air, all because it wasn't Tanya speaking for the Denali clan. But Eleazar did a good job, too. He was natural at this.

I still hoped Tanya would soon get back.

-

It was nice to be back, and it was even nicer that I got to enjoy the time with Edward's arms around me. Then I could keep an eye on him, too. He was sad about the piano thing, I knew it. Sometimes he began humming my lullaby, and I could hear the sadness in his voice, see it in his eyes, and the guilt could not be prevented.

Kate, however, did not like the fact that I was with Edward, I suspected. She tried to get me away from him, coming with tempting offers like training or hunting or a little "friendly fight", which would, of course, make Emmett go crazy.

Edward didn't look at her when she came to talk with me, he simply began talking with one of the others. I wanted to know what was going on but couldn't get myself to ask Edward about Kate's thoughts – it was just too private.

So things weren't totally perfect, but Kate wasn't the worst thing.

Jasper was.

He didn't look or talk to me, and frankly, he was trying to stay out of the same room as me. Alice wasn't happy about it, but she didn't avoid me. I wondered when everything started to fall apart.

We didn't talk about what to do next for five days. Then Rosalie began mentioning it to Carlisle, and they started talking.

That was when I realized that I had too little air in the house, and I decided to go hunting. Edward came, too – of course.

It was nice to be just him and me for a while. I was fascinated at how he hunted. He possessed such grace when he hunted, it was like a dance, and he didn't spill any blood on his clothes, unlike I, who killed like a savage and ruined all the clothes that Alice had picked for me. He laughed when I complemented him and simply kissed my lips. His mouth on mine was light like a feather, and no doubt he only meant to stroke my lips softly, but a hungry creature awoke inside me, and stretched on my toes when he started to pull back, locking my arms around his neck to make him stay where he was. He didn't seem to have a problem with that.

"A-hem," a voice said, and I immediately recoiled from him, looking in the direction.

Kate.

"Kate," I said, astonished. "Hi."

"Hi," Kate answered and glanced at Edward, then back at me. She smiled. "I don't want to er … Interrupt anything." She winked at me, but I saw the black in her eyes. Or was it green?

"Wait, Kate!" I called as she started to turn. Both Edward and Kate turned to look at me. "Can I talk with you?" I looked at Edward. "Four eyes."

Edward didn't wait for her answer – or maybe he already knew – before he turned and ran.

"What is it, Bella?" Kate asked.

"Actually I wanted to ask you that," I answered, crossing the clearing to stand right in front of her. "What's wrong?"

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," I answered, for some reason getting upset. "You're acting all weird!"

Kate crossed her arms and looked away, as if she was … Ashamed. Not angry.

"Bella, I … You wouldn't understand."

"You have to tell me!" I insisted. "I can't take it if our family gets more parted than it already is! We have to solve this – no matter what it is! Is it because of what I did to Tanya? Are you against me and Edward? Did we –"

"Stop, Bella," she cut me off. "It's got nothing to do with Tanya."

"Huh?" I asked. "Then what is it?"

"It do have something to do with you and Edward …"

"You're –"

"Please don't make any assumptions!" she broke in. "If I have to explain, I should do it properly. I really am amazed that Edward haven't told you yet. I haven't exactly had it out of my mind whenever I'm around you. Actually …" She hesitated. "It's the opposite."

"Kate, tell me what's wrong!" I demanded, grasping her shoulders. She writhed under my hands, and it took me a few seconds to realize I was hurting her. I loosened my grip a bit, but not entirely.

"I'm … I'm …" Her eyes flickered and ended by my shoes. "I'm jealous."

It was the first time I'd heard her – or any other vampire – stumble like that over their words. But that was not what froze me to place.

"Jealous?" I asked. "_Why_?"

"Bella, I've never had what you have. Irina haven't. Tanya never had it, she just …" She shook her head. "You know how she felt about Edward. Our mother didn't have any. Carmen and Eleazar are different. I did feel a bit jealous about them, too, but … I always knew Carmen would find someone. But when you came to us, I was certain you would stay with us, be our sister forever. And now you've left us, too. It's just me and Irina now." Her eyes stared into mine, seriously. "Once you let a child taste sugar, they will want it again. I'm like that child, only I'll never get the sugar again. Never ever."

"I don't understand, Kate!"

"You're the sugar, Bella!" she shouted.

I knew my mouth hang open, but I didn't do anything to shut it. I was far too preoccupied right now. My clear, multi-working brain was pondering about what my sister was telling me.

"Bella, I was so happy when you came! You're my dear, dear sister, and I was even more happy when you fell so perfectly in with the family. It was aching inside me when you were sad about Edward. But I thought everything was going to be all right, because we all had each other! And some place, I thought Tanya and Edward would work things out. But when I found out that you and Edward ... And when Tanya left … Irina and I are alone. There was a time when Tanya was with us, too, but then she found Edward, and we lost part of her. I'll lose Irina, too, someday."

I clutched her shoulders. "Kate, how many times do I have to say that I'm not leaving?"

"It's got nothing to do with being physically anywhere! It's mentally, Bella!" She put her index finger on my forehead and pushed hard enough that it was … Well, not painful, but annoying. "You've found your other half! You've not just found _someone_, someone you love, truly, but that isn't _perfect_ for you. No, you've found perfection! You've found what you need to be happy! And that's why you've drifted away."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"You don't need us!" Kate exclaimed and gave my shoulder a nudge.

"That's not true!" I angrily answered.

"If you were to choose between Edward and the rest of your family, who would you choose?" She asked this while her eyes bored into mine, made me look away. "We both know the answer," she said, obviously trying to be calm."

I was unable to defend myself, because I knew she was right about that.

But not about the other part.

"I _do_ need you and the rest of the family! I _do_ care!"

She shook her head and turned to walk away. She wasn't even gonna answer!?

"_You're_ the one who doesn't understand!" I growled. "Why can't you just let me be happy?"

"What?" she gasped and turned around, her eyes wide. It looked as if she was trying to get a hold of her words, before she shouted: "_How can you be so self-centered_?"

Her words stung; I knew that I was the most self-centered person in the world, the most self-conscious.

"Kate –"

"No, Bella! You're like the others! Irina and I stand alone, because in the end, when it comes down to it, all of you have enough in your mate! Even Tanya was so obsessed with Edward, she had to leave us when she lost him!"

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I didn't mean to –"

"There was nothing to mean!" she shouted, and I closed my eyes and ducked my head. "You had to be with Edward, because that's how things is set! You have nothing to feel guilty about! I wish you wouldn't!" She gasped in air, shaking her head. "But the bond you share with Edward, the bond that is between Carmen and Eleazar – and all the others – makes you part blind!"

"I –"

"And Irina and I don't have that! We see everything!" She looked as if she was going to cry. Her lower lip vibrated. "I thought I was going to have you as a sister forever, like Irina. But I was wrong. Because you're always partly mentally gone. Even now, part of your mind is wondering where Edward is, what he's doing, when you'll see him again. Am I right?" She didn't wait for my answer – we both knew she was right. Because I could feel it in the background of my mind – Edward. "I could stand if you left now, if you left for … For _England_. If you left for England, if I knew I'd see you again, I could stand it. _If_ you were mentally like when I first met you. But you're not, so I can't stand it. Because if you leave, and if Edward leaves with you, you'll detach yourself from us."

"Kate, that's not true," I whispered, but she heard me, and she stopped. She was about to say something, but I stopped her. "It's true that part of my mind is thinking about Edward, but part of your mind must also be thinking if you'll ever meet someone like Edward – someone that can be your other half. You said you were jealous, so you must envy me. You –"

"Yes, Bella," she cut me off. "Yes, I want it! I want it bad! Seeing how everyone is so happy just to hold hands with that someone … It hurts to not have anyone like that, Bella. You wouldn't understand." She sighed. She was like a balloon that all air had gushed out of. She was quiet now.

I stepped forward. "Kate, I'm your sister, and I'll be that for all times. I love you, and I will never stop wanting to be with you. But you must accept that Edward and I –"

"I not just accept it, Bella," she whispered. "I'm so, so happy on your behalf. But I'm also sad. Because I know when it comes down to it, you'll choose him over me. Over all of us."

I stood there beside her and could do nothing but stare at her face, stare at the sadness. Then I put my arms around her and hugged her tightly. She hugged me back, and she clung to me as if she was drowning. I rubbed her back.

"I'll be there when you need me," I whispered. She didn't answer but just put her head between my neck and shoulder. "Are you still angry with me?"

She shook her head. "No," she answered. She looked up and smiled. Then she kissed my cheek. "Good luck with your Edward. I hear he's a mind reader, and those guys are kinda annoying."

I grinned. "I've heard the same thing." She winked and ran away. I took a moment to steady myself.

"I'm really overwhelmed."

I turned to see Jasper standing casually leaning against a tree, watching me carefully. I narrowed my eyes, not sure what he wanted.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I'm surprised you didn't snap her head off, that's what I mean," he answered, looking at the sky.

"I thought you trusted me not to hurt our family," I said.

"I don't trust that promise anymore, Bella," he said and looked back at me. His hair wavered in the wind, and his scars were even easier to spot here in the light. "After what you did to the wolf you've shown a side of yourself that I can't let get loose."

"You've got that side, too," I noted. "If someone ripped off your arm –"

"I would consider the consequences of killing a wolf." He straightened. "That's the problem with newborns. They're in lack of control. Until you're normalized, I don't trust that side of you." He began walking closer to me.

I gave out a cry-like laugh. "Normal?" I asked.

He simply nodded. His eyes – which had been cold and determined up until now – were suddenly friendly, and he carefully, hesitantly, put a hand on my shoulder. I didn't shake it off. He smiled a little bit. "You're still my sister, Bella, my beloved sister. But I can't let you hurt our family. I can't let you hurt Alice. It's for the best."

"What will you do?" I whispered.

"Nothing," he answered. "Unless you go crazy."

I frowned. "What then? Will you take me out?"

He flinched. "No, Bella! I wouldn't do such a thing! But you must prepare to fight me before fighting any of our family members."

I shook my head. "I can't believe you think I would actually do that."  
"You're a newborn," he answered. "You could do all sorts of things."

"I won't harm them."

"Good," was all he answered.

He walked away, but before he left, he gave me a little smile, telling me he wouldn't be all icy again. He must have forgiven me – partly, at least – for the wolf thing. Though I hadn't forgiven myself, Jasper – who had just warned me against him – had.

I thought about his words. I thought about when he mentioned Alice. Kate was right. We would do anything for the ones we loved.

These vampire feelings were not just good. We had such strong feelings, they could turn us against each other.

But I wasn't going to let that happen. My family would not be torn more apart. Never!

-

Okay, so, guys, try and read the last chapter, chapter 24, again, I made some changes there that are pretty damn important, but I didn't notice them before a certain review, and so you should read it anew xD

Sorry!

And congratz to the ones of you who figured out who Bella killed and why the wolves didn't follow xD Extra cake for you!

Thanks for 400 reviews! ^^

Cake for all who _scrrrrrrrrtch_ … _scrrrtch_ … Sorry, computer problems, cake for all – for all of you _scr_ … those who review …

_Scrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtch_

The cake is a lie, the cake is a lie, the cake is a lie … _scrrrrrrtch_.

Sorry about that.

You can have brownies :)


	26. Chapter 26

As I promised a few of you, the chapter got out today! I'm actually proud that I got it done xD

Anyway, R&R

-

26. DECISION

In the time that followed I almost remembered how it felt to have goose bumps. Jasper's eyes were constantly on my back, watching my every movement. I knew that he even considered following me when I went hunting with the others, but I think Alice told him that that was taking it too far. When I talked with her about it, she simply answered that I _was_ a newborn and that it was in my nature.

Nature. Ugh.

I tried not to let myself think too much about it; thinking too much about it would make Edward think about it. At first I didn't concern hiding the annoyance, but after Edward encountered Jasper with it, I decided that it was better that way. It almost ended up in a fight. A real one.

In the end I'd told Edward to back off and pushed him out of the living room – which surprisingly enough was pretty hard – and then convinced him to go for a run with me.

Nobody mentioned it again.

One thing was good, though. Kate and I had never been closer, and I tried to give her more attention, even though it was hard having to leave Edward so much, but I did it for her.

Alice, Rosalie and Carmen took Irina, Kate and me shopping. I wasn't too thrilled about it; clothes had never really caught my interest.

The people on the street stared after us; six beautiful women walking down the street had to be looked at. Usually I would have smiled over the situation, but as I now walked there, I felt nothing but annoyance. I wanted the glares away; away from my family. Anyone could turn against us. Anyone could be on the wolves' side. I couldn't afford to let them get hurt.

Which was why thoughts I had never imagined could encounter _my_ head began to form.

_I_ was the cause of things. It was me who drew their attention to the family. I was bad news wherever I went, even if Edward told me he was happy that I was there. Even if all of them said it. They just couldn't see straight.

I remembered Kate's words about not seeing clear, and she'd been right; until now, I hadn't been able to see clearly because of love. Love for the people in my family, the people in my life. Now everything was carved in stone, every detail. It was written in my mind with fire, fire as hot and excruciating as the one that had changed me. And the fire would expand and surround everyone around me if things continued the way it was going.

But I had promised not to do what I was thinking about. I had promised it over and over again. And how could I do it after what happened with Tanya? It wouldn't be fair to those who loved me.

But with time, they would forgive me, and they would see that I had made the right choice.

And so the decision was set.

I only hoped I would be able to do it.

-

Jasper had gone easy on me the whole day, but maybe that was because I had been going easy. He sat in the couch with Edward and Emmett, cheering over some game. I remembered Charlie – he'd always liked baseball, which I was pretty sure was what was on the screen right now.

Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie was discussing the possibilities of a new home.

Irina and Eleazar was playing chess. Kate watched without any real interest.

Alice and Carmen was out hunting. Exactly what I needed.

I got up from my chair. No one but Jasper looked at me, but I just shook my head at him, and he turned back to the TV. He must understand I wasn't 'up to no good'.

Trying not to catch anyone's attention, I walked silently to the stairs and up to Kate's room where my stuff was.

I'd never had much, and after our run from Forks I had even less, but I had clothes. I found a bag, since I'd lost my own, and hoped that Kate would forgive me. I began filling the back with the clothes, choosing only the things that I liked the most, the shoes that were easiest to wear. Besides, high heels could look pretty weird when you came around places.

When I was finished, I tried to listen if anybody had gotten up. No, they were all still there, and luckily the slightest bit louder than before. That wouldn't stop them from hearing, though, but they wouldn't think of following – they didn't know what I was doing. Unless someone came up to me now, my plan was going to work.

I tried not to think too much about what I was doing – I just did it. It hurt too much to think, it was easier to be passive and let the mind be blank.

I found pen and paper, but as I started to write the first letter, I couldn't stop feeling anymore, and everything came crashing down around me. I bit my lip to make sure I didn't make noise and sat down. I hid my face in my hands and tried to keep my breathing even. Part of me wished for tears, while the rest of me was glad I couldn't cry. If I could, I would be in hysterics, and that would definitely give me away.

I finally put myself together by reminding myself that I didn't have much time. I turned back to the paper. I couldn't write anything major. I couldn't stand having to write everything down. So I kept it simple.

_Sorry_.

Then I folded the paper nicely and laid it on the bed. It wouldn't be found until after a few hours, and then I'd be gone. I left my cell phone beside the paper. It was safer if they didn't contact me, at least for a while. In a few years, we could see each other again. And then I wouldn't be newborn anymore, and Jasper could ease up, because then he could take me without effort.

I winced.

Then I yanked the bag on my shoulder and walked down the stairs. I couldn't walk through the living room with the back, so I silently dropped it out a window before walking to the front door.

"Where are you going?" Kate unfortunately asked.

I kept a leveled face. "Hunting," I answered.

She came to my side. "I'll go with you. I'm bored."

I forced myself not to grimace. "Actually, I wanted to do this alone."

She looked stunned at me, almost … Rejected.

I realized this would be the last time I saw her in a long time, and everything inside me softened, and I reached for her to hug her tightly.

"I'm sorry, but I have to do this." I looked around in the living room. Several eyes were looking questioningly at me. I should just go. I was awakening their curiosity. But I couldn't just walk away.

I caught their eyes, and tried to smile. I wished Alice and Carmen were there, but I knew that I couldn't do the right thing then. Alice would stop me. She might already have seen me leaving. Yes, she probably had. I had tried to keep the thought out of my mind so that she wouldn't notice, and it had seemed to work, but now it was too late.

Jasper was looking suspiciously at me, and I was sure that he would be the first one to figure it out.

I waved. "Goodbye."

In that moment, I knew that he had already figured it out, and he nodded at me, smiling. I didn't think it meant "yes you're doing the right thing" more "I'm going to miss you, come back soon. This is your decision."

He must have kept the thought somewhat out of his head, because Edward simply looked at me with incredulous eyes.

But I couldn't look back. I had to do this to protect him and my family, but if I looked at him, I wouldn't be able to do it.

The phone rang in that moment.

I ran outside and quickly got my bag before leaving for the forest. I ran as fast as I could, but as I did, he kept coming into my mind. Edward. My Edward.

Could he forgive me? Forgive me for doing this, for what I'd done, for not being good enough for him?

I sped up. Maybe some of them had gone looking for me; Edward definitely had. And Edward was fast. Too fast for his own good.

I duck my feet into the ground, knowing it would leave a trail, but I also knew that this would get me faster forward.

Triumph filled me as I did not hear anyone behind me, then sadness. They had accepted my decision, but I hadn't expected them not even to try to convince me not to do this. Maybe I had read Jasper's expression wrong and he had told them not to follow.

But just as the thoughts were running through my mind, I heard him.

I could make out that sound anywhere at any time.

Edward was coming.

I didn't know if I should groan or laugh. I did neither. I just tried to speed up, but it was hard as I was already running maximum. I wasn't fast enough, but I had to be. I had to outrun him! Just this once.

_Silly_, someone said in my mind, and I knew who it was. It was my better judgment. _He'll follow you all around the globe if he has to._

_No_, answered her fiercely and bit my lower lip. He didn't love me that much, he didn't. He'd just told himself that he did, because he'd been alone all that time.

"_Bella_!"

"No!" I murmured, listening to the truth that had to be true. It simply had to.

He was coming closer now, I could hear it.

"_Bella_!" Too close.

I couldn't run faster, though I tried. I grasped for trees and rocks and bushes to push myself forward, leaving devastating destruction behind me. I distantly heard the things being smashed again as he ran through them.

"Bella, _stop_!"

The edge in his voice did the job; I stopped. I didn't know why, but something in my head snapped and made my feet freeze. It was the anger and agony in his voice.

It took only seconds before he was there, but I looked at the ground.

I saw his feet come into view, and then I felt his hands on my shoulders. That unfreezed me, and I stepped back.

"Don't," I whispered. I couldn't hear anyone else.

"Bella, what are you doing?" he demanded and simply just put his hands back on my shoulders. This time I didn't step away.

"What I should have done a long time ago. I'm only bringing trouble to this family –"

"_Your_ family, Bella! Don't leave! Why would you leave now that everything is all right?"

I looked up into his eyes. The pain I saw in his eyes stung, and I stopped breathing.

"Everything is _not_ fine, Edward!"

"You promised you wouldn't leave," he pointed out.

"I can't keep that promise if it means leaving my family in risk. Face it, Edward; I'm a danger magnet, and I bring chaos everywhere I go!"

"No, Bella –"

"Yes, Edward! I'm right, and we both know it, so don't try to deny it!"

He looked at me with fierce eyes, and I could feel his grip tighten. "Where will you go?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Away."

"When did you plan on getting back?" he asked.

"In a few years, then Jasper won't have to worry so much, either!" I glared at him.

"You could have at least thought it through! Alice didn't even see it!"

I realized that Alice would not let anything hold her away, and maybe Edward was just holding me here, waiting for her to come. I struggled against his arms.

"Let me go!"

"No!" he growled. "Damn it, Bella, I won't let you leave! Do you even realize what that would do to everyone?" he asked, and then said quieter: "What it would do to me."

I winced. "They'll get over it."

"You don't give them enough credit! They love you! And so do I!"

"And I love you!" I answered and stubbornly looked into his eyes – which I shouldn't have done. All those mixed, sad feelings washed through me again, leaving me cautious about what I was doing. But I couldn't turn back. Not now. "I love you all," I breathed, determined. "That is why I have to do this."

"But the wolves –"

"Will come back!"

"Jacob –"

"Come on, Edward! They're werewolves!"

It was his time to look away now, and I could see the grief on his face.

I forgot about Alice and anyone who might be coming. I embraced him with all my heard and strength and hid my face in his chest. This would be my goodbye.

"Stay," he whispered in my ear.

"I'll be back."

Then I forced myself out of his arms and took the first step away from –

He reached out and took my hand. "I'll go with you," he said.

"No!" I growled. "You're the one I want least in danger!"

"If you're a danger magnet, you won't last for long out there alone!" Edward stated. "If you're leaving, I'm going with you. I can't stay away from you, Bella. You're my life now, and I won't lose my life again."

I bowed my head. He wasn't going to back out. I thought about my options and realized I didn't have any.

"Fine," I groaned.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. "So where are we going first?" he asked cautiously.

"First," I answered, "we're going to La Push."

-

_I'm not with them anymore. I left. Please, let them go back or at least leave them alone._

_Bella._

-

I wrote the address on the convolute and put it in the mailbox. I turned to face Edward who looked down at me with unfathomable eyes. He held an umbrella. Just a prop.

"When do you think he'll get it?" I asked.

"Soon, I guess," he answered. The letter was addressed for Jacob Black, since he was the alpha. He put an arm around my shoulder. "Let's go."

He pulled me toward the taxi that was going to drive us to the airport. We could have run, but we were too near La Push. If we were with humans, they wouldn't attack us. We still kept an eye out for the forest.

Edward had made one last call to Carlisle – I hadn't supported it – to ask for money. I didn't like it – leaving them and then calling to rip them of money. The American way.

But they were glad to help. I was glad it was Carlisle in the phone – the others would have just pleaded for us to come home. But Carlisle said that it was our choice and that we could come home whenever we wanted.

And now we were on our way to the airport to leave. We would soon be at the point of no return.

-

I did not like this chapter. The decision wasn't out of character, but the rest of it was. Argh! I may redo this chapter some day because I really am unhappy with it! Grrr! Stupid chapter! . Stupid writer! (Me).

I would be very happy if you guys would please write to me in a review and tell me which chapter you liked the most and why. Then I can try to redo the success :)

Cake for anyone who does!

But the cake is a lie!

Still, fake-cake for anyone who does!

Love

Dawn


	27. Chapter 27

DON'T KILL ME! ARGH . More Jacob chapters. DIE! Okay, I really hope this is the last one. Took me ten minutes or so to write, so it's not that bad.

-

27. LETTER-FROM-FREAKING-BLOODSUCKER-BELLA

I did not know the address on the back of the convolute, neither was I sure that it even existed.

I ripped the little convolute open and sat roughly down in a chair. I heard Billy complain somewhere, but I didn't listen.

-

_I'm not with them anymore. I left. Please, let them go back or at least leave them alone._

_Bella._

-

I read the words over and over till I had them memorized. First I safe her life and now she expects me to do her more favorites.

I couldn't blame her, though, for some unknown reason. I vaguely remembered Bella from when we were little, mostly for her clumsiness. When she disappeared, Charlie was really out of it, and he was with Billy most of the time when he wasn't out trying to find his lost daughter. When I found out that Bella was the crazy vampire that was savaging La Push, I reacted the way anybody would react: with an "oh crap".

I had become more and more sure about the fact that she was not the one killing people from La Push, and it was me who held back the others. But when Bella killed Sam, everything changed.

I didn't know at first, because I wasn't in my wolf form when it happened. The others reacted before I could stop them. They knew I would because I was the new alpha. But at first I had to stop Bella.

The others weren't pleased with my decision, but at least they respected it, and things were nearly back to normal, except it never really would be. Like Emily – the girl that Sam had been engaged with. She was devastated and, to say it out loud, useless.

I sighed, not wanting to think more about it right now.

I flipped the convolute away, but that was when I saw it.

Another piece of paper flew out of it, and I got to my feet to get it.

-

_Dear Jacob_

_At first I counted on leaving alone, but Edward left with me. Just so you know. One less vampire to worry about._

_I wanted to apologize for everything that I've done. I know you must hate me, which makes me even more grateful of what you did – after all I've caused you. Edward sais that you guys began turning into wolves because vampires were a threat again. And then he said that you were the new alpha because I killed Sam. I'm very sorry._

_Yet, I have two things to ask from you:_

_First, please look out for Charlie for me. I'm really worried about him._

_Second, can you make sure none of the wolves attack my family? If not, it would defeat my purpose of leaving and make my decision even harder to take._

_Thank you, Jacob._

_For everything._

_Bella._

-

I stared at the paper. Oh, God, she wasn't going to get me to do more for her? Jeez, when the pack saw this in my mind, they would go crazy! Especially Leah. Man!

But there was something about the letter that made me know that I would do it. Something with the handwriting and the words and the tone in it.

"Stupid bloodsucker," I breathed.

-

Thanks to those of you who told me your favorite chapters! It was helpful! And now I know that you like it when I write chapters from Edward's pov. And when it's beautiful chapters like the twentieth one. So I know exactly what I'm going to do about the next chapter – which I, by the way, can't wait to write!

Love

Dawn


	28. Chapter 28

Yay, new chapter! I hope I didn't kill anybody by not uploading sooner. Sorry :'(

But I was to the Twilight Movie Preview, and we dressed up like vampires! I was Bella! Yay ^^ And I had a sweet, white T-shirt on, and you have got to know what I had written there – in TWILIGHT LETTERS!

In front:

Need

For

Twilight

I

Need

Sparkling

Apple

And then a drawing of an apple around the apple thing xD

And in the back I had written:

Did you know in China they eat dogs? Please send Jacob there!

And I came up with a genious name for Jacob Black! His name is Jacob Black, and he's a pup! He's Jacob Blup xD Yea, crazy humor, I know xD

On to the story.

-

28. EUROPE

I was very happy that Edward couldn't read my mind, because if he could, he'd seen the fear there and had suggested we go right back to good old America. And if I said no, he might even sweep me up into his arms and force me to come with him.

As I had no interest in such a scene, I tried my very best to hide my feelings behind a mask. I couldn't smile, neither would the smile have helped in convincing him. None of us was happy about this. If I smiled, he'd suspect something.

The ride in the plane wasn't bad, though being so close to humans in such a small room had frightened me a bit. Edward held my hand, though, and I went through the whole thing, mostly holding my breath. But I found that when I eventually sniffed in, it wasn't as bad as I had expected.

We pretended to sleep to dodge having to deal with the humans. This also made it a lot easier, because we couldn't talk – not loud, anyway. And I feared that Edward might start talking about them.

It was late when we arrived in London. Even though London went for being a rainy city, we couldn't take any chances.

Edward got us to a hotel, not five stars, but not bad, either. I knew that, as a vampire, I should care less, but I remembered James, Laurent and Victoria and where they used to stay.

"It will be sunny tomorrow," Edward said as he locked up our room. 212.

I just nodded and went inside. I put my belongings on a stool. It was a nice room, and big, though the huge bed filled quite a lot.

There was a door made of glass that lead out to a little terrace. I opened it and made sure not to break it. I could feel Edward's gaze on my back.

The fresh air blew warm against my skin, though I knew it would look very strange if someone saw me; my shoulders were bare.

Yet, I stood there for a while. It felt nice, almost as if I was … Free. Standing there, high above everything, looking over the huge, fascinating city, a city I had always thought I would never see in reality.

I took a deep breath to silence the thoughts that would only bring more guilt, but I knew they were there. My hand shook the tiniest bid.

He was suddenly there – I hadn't even noticed when he came. He put his hand on mine and watched me observantly, but I didn't meet his eyes.

"What are you thinking?" he asked in a low voice.

I shrugged and looked away, but he squeezed my hand tightly. "Please, Bella, you're just making me think it's worse than it is."

"What makes you think there's something wrong?" I asked through gritted teeth, but the mere sound of my voice was enough to tell that there was. I sighed and looked at him, knowing there was no escaping it. His eyes were amber. How many more days before we'd have to hunt?

"We can still turn around," he told me seriously.

"No!" I answered sternly and looked away, pulling my hand away from him and crossing my arms across my waist. The hand that he'd held, my right hand, twitched and untwitched, suddenly strangely cold. I sighed and snuck it back into his. He squeezed it again and leaned in to kiss my forehead.

"Things will be okay, Bella, and we'll return," he said comfortingly.

I sighed again and turned to hide myself in his arms. As always, I felt safe there, as if nothing could touch me – and it probably couldn't – but I knew that the feelings I tried to hide from would soon break through even Edward's grasp and consume me.

I flinched.

He saw that and stroked my cheek. Before I noted, he was suddenly humming my lullaby, and I rested my head against his chest again, listening to the tones he hummed to perfection. The breeze flowed around us like water, and I pulled in his scent, his soul …

I looked up to meet his eyes, and he smiled without stopping to hum. His bronze hair moved silently in the gushes of wind, making him look almost human. But he wasn't human. He was an angel. And no matter what happened, I could survive. As long as I had him.

He finished the melody and stroked my hair back. "Do you want me to sing it again?"

His eyes smoldered against mine, and for a moment, I lost myself in him, as if I was falling through amber. I closed my eyes and nodded. I rested my whole body against him, and he pulled me into his arms to carry me inside again. I felt almost human as he put me on the bed. He was already humming again.

I watched through narrowed eyes, suspecting he might leave, as he stood again. He walked back to the door, closing it and shutting the curtains. I closed my eyes again and listened to his voice. If I hadn't had the senses of a vampire, I wouldn't have felt the slight vibrations from the bed underneath me as he lay down beside me. His voice was suddenly very close, and his arms was around me, pulling me into him. I turned so I could put my head on his shoulder. He stroked my cheek and tugged me closer, starting over again when he finished my lullaby a second time. And despite being a vampire, I felt like I was asleep, and it was one of the best feelings I had had for a long time. This was why sleep was needed; so that one could escape from living, but still be able to live again. Sleeping was a blessed form of death that could be undone.

"You're crying, my love." His soft murmur in my ear made my eyes open at once, and I lifted a hand to my cheek, but I felt nothing, and I looked suspiciously at him. "In here," he continued and pointed to my forehead. I frowned.

"Things will work out," I said, and then I smiled. I was surprised at the sudden mood change – I hadn't had mood changes a lot lately, based on the fact that I didn't have much to change over. I wrapped my arms around his chest, snuggling into the curve of his collarbone. "As long as we have each other, things will work out."

He didn't answer but simply moved his hand up and down my back. I didn't like this silence – it was as if there was something unspoken in it.

"What?" I asked and looked at him.

He looked back. "What?" he repeated.

I frowned. "Don't try to distract me, Edward! What's wrong?"

He looked away and pilled me closer to him. I didn't rest as before. Wolves, families, friends and what so ever was suddenly forgotten, the agony on his face the only thing I could comprehend.

He didn't say anything.

But I got it anyway.

He could go on without his family, for me. But he missed them. For so many years they'd been all he had.

Wolves, families, friends and what so ever suddenly came crashing right back at me, and I pulled away from him, wrapping my arms around my knees, looking at the curtains …

"You can go back," I whispered. I knew he could hear how hard it was for me to say that.

And it really was. It already hurt, it was already aching, _burning_, at the mere thought that I should be without him, already having to be without so much else …

I felt him shifting in the bed, and I quickly got out of it, getting to the other side of the room in one sixteenth of a second.

"Bella," he whispered and stared at me, his hand frozen in the air where my shoulder had just been.

"I don't want you to be unhappy," I whispered and closed my eyes. "I know I'm not enough. I know I'm not worth_ this_" I made a gesture to the room, to it all. "Don't be merciful.

I opened my eyes when he was suddenly there, his arms around my wrists.

"Bella, don't say that!" he said, and I was surprised at the volume of his voice.

But I didn't listen.

"Your … _Our_ family," I flinched, knowing I did not deserve to call them that, "misses you. And you miss them. You should …" I shook my head and waved toward the door. He knew what I meant. He also knew that I could not possibly finish.

"Bella, they miss you, too. And you miss them. If you –"

"No, Edward!" I put my hand on his mouth, fighting against his hand on my wrist. "If I go back, trouble will, too. Problems. Death."

He looked seriously over my hand, and I removed it.

His eyes bore directly into mine, and even though I wanted to look away, it was as if he held me there with his eyes by sheer will.

"I would never want to be any place without you, Bella. Please understand this." He kissed my one hand. "Until we …" he kissed the other hand, "can return to our …" the first again, "family … and home … again …" He trailed off and looked into my eyes. "We _will_ return, Bella," he whispered, but it was not the same whisper as before. It was sweet song that caressed my ears and my skin and my thoughts. He put his hands on my waist, and I put mine on his shoulders. "Look at this as a … Holiday."

A smile ran across my face. I knew that Rosalie and Emmett took off on vacations from time to time, and the others did, too. And we didn't know if our trip away would be long or short …

I could definitely look at it that way, and it would make it a lot easier.

Seeing my smile light up, he bent his head down and softly pushed his lips against mine. I caught my breath, feeling the strange edge to this kiss. It was just a shadow, but it was present, and I knew he felt it, too.

Wanting to know what the shadow was, I sought against it, pulling myself closer to him. His arms tightened around me, and a warmth spread throughout my body. From the points where we connected there eventually began to spring strange, electric waves from, but they were not unpleasant. They were, actually, the opposite …

Before I noticed he'd pulled me with him down on the bed with me on top of him. His lips parted from mine and began exploring down my throat. I gasped and launched back my neck, my lids fluttering wildly.

My mind was foggy as he pulled me down to meet his lips again, but my thoughts stayed euphoric for the next few hours.

-

I didn't pretend to sleep when we went on the next flight. Instead I slid my hand through his and watched him the whole time, and he turned to me and looked into my eyes, too.

Only a few hours after we left Denali, Edward took us to see a man he called J. He said that we needed paper done. I waited in the taxi, as I thought I saw on his face that he wanted me to. That was when I wrote the extra letter for Jacob.

I wanted to share that with him, but I wasn't sure if he would understand. Jacob was a werewolf, after all, a dog, a mongrel …

And he was my should-have-been-friend. I could feel it. Even now that we were mortal enemies – as Jasper had put it – there was a bond. That was why he had saved me. Saved us. I knew he could feel it. This was why he was going to listen to my letters, too.

Part of me missed the friend that I was supposed to have had, and for the first time in a long time, I wondered what would have happened if I hadn't become a vampire, but for the very first time I really put some thought and calculation into it.

I would have moved to Forks as human, and I would have met the Cullens anyway – Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, anyway. What would have happened to Edward and I? I remembered the taste of my own blood. Nothing good could have come out of our meeting.

Jacob was Billy's son, and Billy was Charlie's friend. I would have definitely run into Jacob eventually. Would he be a werewolf? Would we have become friends? I knew we would.

But even though I could see a happy, human might-have-been destiny, I couldn't bring myself to wish that 'the coward' and Elias had not changed me. Now I had Edward, and he was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder. I soon felt his hand on my waist, and I was sure that things would work out eventually. I felt more sure, more certain, than I had in a long time. Things couldn't go any more wrong.

And we would see our family again.

-

I thought about stopping the story here and then wait to make a sequel … Y'know, make a giant cliffhanger! But no, I'm not that evil xD Ah, could you imagine?

I am happy with this chapter, and it was fun writing about her thinking of what would have happened if Twilight happened xD It didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, but I'm not sure if it's for the better or for the worst.

And I have to tell you guys, even though it is holiday, I'm not sure if I'll get a lot of writing done. I'm going to Copenhagen for three days, and I hope my brother will come to visit, which will mean that I have some things to ask him about, and I've promised my dad to do some work, too. Sorry :( Hopefully I can get some writing done, too.


	29. Chapter 29

God, so sorry guys! I know you must hate me! I hope none of you have died! I ended this chapter a lot earlier than scheduled, but … Oh, well … It's just that I've begun watching Naruto, and I just can't stop again … And then I've regained my need for writing on my own story, so I've returned to the forests of the elves. Oh, how I've missed them! Especially my character Lythya who, obviously, gave the name to my account.

Well, R&R

Btw: THANK YOU FOR 500 REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

29. SETTLING IN

There were only minutes till we landed, and I was leaning over Edward to look outside the window.

"If you're so eager to look outside, I'd gladly give you my seat," he suggested gently. I groaned and didn't response, simply looked at the flat, dull land under us. He sighed and scooped me into his lab.

"Hey!" I objected and snapped my neck around, but his face was closer than I had expected, and I stopped to simply stare at him as all words seemed to flow out of my mind. He chuckled and pressed his lips against mine.

"I'm sorry," he said politely around my lips, "I was just unable to resist."

"Shhh," I breathed and continued kissing.

"Ahem," a voice cracked from beside us, but I didn't break my hold. Unfortunately, Edward did. I looked around to glare at whoever had interrupted us.

I saw a dead scared, pale stewardess, who was slightly shaking. The smell of her wavered over his. She was … Delicious.

Edward squeezed my hand quickly.

"Uhm, we'll be landing … Soon … And you should … Put on your … Uhm … Seat … Belt."

"We'll be sure to do that," Edward answered and quickly – but still at human speed, which was slowly – put me back in my seat and clicked my belt. I scowled at him.

"Uhm … Good," the stewardess said, blushed and turned around to hurry away, stumbling a bit on the way.

Edward smiled at me. "Humans," he chuckled.

"Stop being so cheery, you're not kissing me," I groaned.

He grinned and leaned over me, as I had done with him before, and pressed his lips to mine before he recoiled.

I shook my head to force back a grudging look, but I knew I couldn't pull it off. "Bah," I murmured, not sounding angry at all. I looked away and didn't pull back my hand when he took it.

-

"It's so … Flat," I commented as I saw the landscape around us. The airport was the only thing out here. Oh, no, my sharp eyes saw a house far, far away. Great. "Are there even any forests here?" I asked and looked up at Edward. "Any wild animals?"

Edward narrowed his eyes, and looked behind him so quickly that the human eye couldn't tell. He whispered in a low voice that only I could hear: "Be careful what you say."

It stroke me that someone might be listening, and I carefully looked around, seeing a business man talking in his cell phone. He quickly looked away when I glanced at him, but I saw it. I nodded at Edward, not saying anymore.

-

I liked the car. It was simple and not so … Show-off. I had never liked that much.

Edward bought it because it would be hard to run through this country without being seen.

"Resuming our former conversation," I said. "We're not going to stay here, are we?"

He smiled wryly. "No," he answered. "As you guessed, there isn't much to support our way of living."

I nodded and looked out of the window. Trees were at both sides of the road.

"It's so flat. And little," I murmured, but he heard me.

"Sweden is filled with forests," Edward said and stroked my cheek. "It'll almost remind of home."

We both fell silent then. I wondered what was going on back home. Did Alice watch over us? Part of me hoped she did, but most of me hoped that she didn't.

I looked at the sky. It was spring and the sky here looked somewhat like Forks. Cloudy and rainy. I had the window rolled down a bit, and I could smell the metal in the air. Actually, this place smelled rather … clean. I was sure that even if I had been human, I would have liked it.

Because it may be rainy, but it was nothing like Forks.

Denmark was a very little country – I'd seen it on a map. It looked like I could use a day running from the end of German to the northern part of what Denmark called Jylland – a word I had a rough time pronouncing. Even Edward couldn't say it straight.

But it seemed nice here. There were a few forests, but they didn't remind me of home. When I had been human, every time I thought of Forks, I thought green, and it was definitely green here, but it was a different green. A fresh, warm green, that looked comfortable even in rain.

I was still looking outside when the rain just suddenly stopped, and only a minute later, the sun broke through, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

The sun wasn't strong enough to be any danger, but I still recoiled into the shadow of the car.

-

"It's nice," I commented.

I had never liked things that showed off too much, and the house in front of me certainly did not do that. It was a cozy little place, not at all like our house in –

It was build of lumber and stood in the middle of the forest. We wouldn't be bothered here …

On our vacation …

When would we return? Weeks, months … years? None of us could tell.

"Come," he said and took my hand. I let him lead me into the house. I clung to his hand as if it was the last thing in the world I could comprehend.

Which it was.

Everything else was crumbling around me, and he was the only thing that didn't seem to be able to disappear. Even when part of me had tried to make it. It had been a poor try, though.

He let go of my hand, but I didn't let him. Instead I clung more to it. He studied my face closely, but I looked away. I couldn't take it if he disappeared, too. I would have to fight to make him not become part of my past. My presence didn't mean anything without him.

He looked at me for a whole minute before he leaned in and kissed the side of my head. "I'll be right back, Bella."

I couldn't let go, but somehow, he made me. How was I supposed to fight to keep him if he could disappear on his own? I had to become stronger, strong enough to protect him and my future, and us. And to protect a future where I could be with my family.

He came back with the boxes with the new belongings we'd bought. Clothes and such. There were already furniture.

"Come," he said and took my hand to drag me along. I willingly let him – as long as his hand was in mine, I could endure anything. Even being showed around in my new home. No … I couldn't think of it that way.

A hotel, maybe?

He led me to the bedroom where he sat down on the bed and pulled me with him. I wondered what he wanted when he wrapped his arms around me and secured me in his lab. He gently pushed my head down to rest on his shoulder, and I looked at his throat, and the even raising and relaxing of it, to calm myself.

He began humming my lullaby, and I slowly found myself being soothed, feeling how every part of me rested. Things were still bad, but not as bad as before.

When he finished it, he quickly asked: "Do you wanna go for a run?" to not let me fall back into the state of numbness.

I slowly nodded, wanting to feel the movement of flying through the forest at incredible speed. I missed it.

I smiled and looked into his eyes. "But we may be able to wait a while …?"

He raised one eyebrow and caught my mood immediately.

-

Truly, the forests here did remind of Forks, though the air was a bit different, and the animals, too, but I felt very much at home here.

Edward ran right behind me, and I knew he was on his guard, but I couldn't concentrate on such trivial things. I just let my mind fly around me to the trees and birds and the sky and clouds and the sounds. The sound of branches breaking under me swiftly as I flew by, squirrels squeaking now and then, his even breathing behind me …

This was why I didn't notice until Edward grabbed my arm and stopped me.

"They've heard us, so it won't take long. Don't worry." He gritted his teeth in the strangest way. "They're friends."

I stared at him, and then I heard the steps. Other vampires. And apparently not enemies. Maybe even friends. Or maybe what he meant was just that they did not have intentions of hurting us. Yet.

Victoria flashed quickly through my mind.

Edward looked down at my face and must have seen something there, for he smiled deliberately. "Don't worry, love. Everything will be fine." His eyes suddenly shone, and I wondered what was going on.

"Bella?"

I froze there with his arm around my arm, not knowing what to do with myself. The sound of her voice after all that we'd been through … The uncertainty, the fear …

"Edward?"

Edward looked up from me, and I saw a smile appear on his lips, almost … relieved.

"Hello, Tanya."

-

Yea, so … Denmark snuck in xD You caught me xD Really, it's a nice little country.

Love

Dawn


	30. Chapter 30

I didn't know what to call this chapter …

30. THE EXPLORER

It was not the Tanya I remembered – or not the Tanya I had kept imagining in my head. For some reason, every time I thought of her, her cheeks were covered with tears. Of course, that was impossible, but at least it would have to show on her face, she would have to cry on the inside. Right?

But she didn't look sad, just surprised.

Then my eyes wandered to the thing I thought might have something to do with that.

A tall, rangy vampire with eager ruby eyes and long sandy hair he kept tied back with a leather thong stood beside her – and it was apparent immediately that he was an adventurer.

I peeked at Edward, and I saw the interest in his eyes, and I was curious at once.

I looked back at Tanya, and because her eyes were somewhat friendly, I couldn't help stepping forward and putting my arms around her.

"Tanya!" I exclaimed. "We've been so worried!"

"Didn't I tell you not to worry?" she asked and hugged me back. A few seconds went by, and then she followed up with: "Bella, you're hurting me."

"Oh," I murmured and stepped back. "Sorry." It wasn't the first time.

She smiled at me, apparently catching my thoughts. "Its okay, Bella. I'm really fine." She turned around and pointed to the man. "This is Garrett," she presented. "Garrett, this is Bella, and you know Edward, right?"

"Right," he laughed. "Hi, Bella," Garrett greeted, as if we were old friends. I was bewildered that he already knew Edward.

I looked up at him. He was grinning back at Garrett, like he was laughing at some inside joke, maybe. "Hello to you, Garrett."

"What are you doing here?" Tanya asked curiously.

"That's a long story," Edward said. "Let's go back to our place."

Tanya looked surprised, but not hurt. I was glad, but I wasn't sure if she would have the same peace of mind after we told her what had happened.

---

Tanya's face was curved with unnerved lines. She stared at Edward and me with down going eyebrows. Even Garrett looked serious, as if someone he knew was in danger, too.

_Right,_ I reminded myself. _He does_. The Cullens had a few friends spread out around the world, and Garrett was one of these, though he usually stayed to the states. He hadn't ever met Tanya before, but of course, as soon as Tanya had told about her family, he'd known whom she'd meant.

"I'm the one causing the problems," I told Tanya. "Be angry at me, not anyone else."  
Tanya send me confused glance. "But, Bella, I'm not angry at you! What you did was what they deserved!" She growled deep in her throat, a threatening sound. "Damn dogs!"

"_Moron_ dogs," I corrected her.

She smiled deftly at me.

"So you're here because …?" she asked.

I was just about to answer, when Edward said: "Because Bella is naïve and thinks the wolves won't attack the family if she isn't there."

I scowled at him. Of course he didn't know about the letter I'd send to Jacob Black - and I was definitely not intending on telling him about it now - but part of me agreed with him. Wasn't I just being naïve?

"I'd say there's a rather good chance they won't attack if I'm not there."

"I'd say there's a rather good chance they won't run all that way to fight at a place they don't know. That would give you the advantage," Garrett said. "And you say they've got a lot of new wolves, unskilled at fighting."

I scowled at him. Yuk, was everyone out to make my plan look bad?

"Look, I just wanna be on the safe side," I told Garrett. Despite his insight, I was starting to like him.

"I think we should go home," Tanya said.

"No," I growled, surprised that I could be like that to Tanya. "I refuse to put my family in danger again." I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall. There I stood as a statue with piercing eyes, shooting lightning that clearly did no good on the-me-being-right part.

"Bella, look at it this way," Garrett suggested. "You can't possibly put your family in any more danger!"

"Oh, what do you know," I shouted, not only at Garrett, at all of them. "You're not the ones being overly unlucky. I can't do anything without it getting back at me. No way am I going back to the family!"

"Bella, you're hurting them more this way," Tanya told me sincerely.

"She's right," Edward said. "They love you, Bella." He stroked my cheek and then my hair. I caught my breath. He was trying to change my mind! Trying to trigger and maneuver me! Trying to distract me!

"I know, Edward, I know," I murmured, then with more voice: "But I love them, too, and I can't do that to them. I'll just stay here till the wolves die!"

"Bella, uhm …" Edward murmured. "They're immortal."

"_What?_"

It wasn't just me, it was Tanya, too. For some reason Garrett didn't look surprised.

"Well, partly," Edward added. "When they transform into wolves on regular, they stay in their current age."

"Ah, dang it!" I growled and threw my hands in the air. "What do we do then?" I didn't let them answer. "We'll just have to wait a few years, then it'll have worn off."  
"Bella, you killed their Alpha," Garrett said, and I saw Edward glance angrily at him, but Garrett didn't care. "If someone killed your Carlisle, would you just forget it? Let it wear off?"

I gritted my teeth. Damn it, he was right!

"I think maybe Bella's right," Tanya suddenly said, and we all turned to her. She looked different, more remorseful suddenly. "It's such a short time since you left. You shouldn't go back. Maybe it will actually help to wait at least a few months."

Edward thought about it, I could see it clearly. He was measuring the thought. I knew he didn't want me in danger, not among the wolves, but I knew that he also thought the most secure place in the world was with our family.

"Fine," Edward growled in agreement.

---

We stayed together all four. I was happy to have Tanya with me, and Garrett was no bad addition, either. I hoped he'd stay. Especially for Tanya.

I was happy to be with my sister again, and I felt more at ease. It felt almost like "old times".

That is until Edward froze.

We were out hunting for the bears that were wandering carelessly around, when Edward suddenly stopped with empty eyes. Then he gritted his teeth, and I knew someone was coming, someone bad. Or just someone Edward didn't like.

"What is it, Edward?" Tanya asked worriedly.

"Not something good," he answered through gritted teeth, and I suddenly found myself in his arms. He held me close, and that was when I knew: _danger_.

As a human I hadn't developed a really good sense for danger, and therefore I had a habit of coming into the most ridiculous situations. This ability had not lacked since I became a vampire, and I did not count on it to do so.

So naturally, I blamed myself when the two cloaked figures stopped in front of us.

-------

Guys, I'm so, so sorry for not updating earlier! And I'm so sorry that it's so short! I'm just so stressed and worn out -

The next chapter will be from Edward's pov.! I know you've all been missing it! Woohooo! I miss him, too xD Edward thinks too much. He's so much damn fun to write.

Please, please, _please_ review!


	31. Chapter 31

PLEASE REVIEW!

YES! It's here! The next chapter! YAY! Do you realize it is18 days since I last wrote a chapter? Enjoy it ^^ It's an Edward chapter, just as you liked and requested it.

-

31. VOLTURI

I wrapped my arms closer around Bella as they stepped forward, their cloaks moving aimlessly in the quiet wind. I could not see their faces, but I could read their minds.

_I didn't know other vampires lived around here. They must've just come_. That was the thoughts of the tallest of the two figures, the male.

_How come we haven't been informed? They could be plotting. What are they up to? Why do two of them have the same golden eyes as the American covens? Why doesn't that one guy? And what is the strange, orange of that girls_? These were the thoughts of the much smaller figure, a strangely more aggressive mind than the other, though in other ways. It was a female, not very old when she was changed.

They were Volturi. There was no doubt about it; it gushed from the very core of their being.

I heard Tanya spot them as the same, and Garrett, too. Garrett was an adventurer – I had expected as much. Just as I'd thought, he'd seen these cloaks before.

I had only seen them in the minds of others. I had only felt the fear through others, always persistently told myself that I would not be intimidated.

But even though it was just these two, I was afraid. No, I was terrified. They were not just two cloaked figures, they were the Volturi! There might as well be standing thirty vampires behind them!

And I had already known that most of them were gifted, and if not, they were either very strong or had other traits, that the Volturi could have use of.

The little one had a gift – she was thinking about it loudly. Thinking about using it on us, even though her reason for doing so was not real, simply something she had made up – so that she could use her gift.

She was not just far more aggressive than the other one, not just far more dangerous – she was sadistic. She truly looked upon her gift as that; a gift. And gifts should be used, she had decided. Or else, whomever gave them would be sad. That was how it was with gifts.

I had the feeling of one who is going to vomit.

I felt Bella frozen in my arms. How afraid she must feel, not knowing who they were, or why we feared them so much. I should have told them more about the Volturi. It was my fault that she did not know, my fault that she was without doubt blaming herself right now. And it was my fault that we were even in this situation. I should have looked more around after other smells. I should've –

"Who are you?" the male asked – Felix.

"I am Edward Cullen," I answered deliberately, before Tanya could. It was best if I take the lead – what with my mind reading and all that.

"This is Garrett," I continued, pointing to the vampire, "Tanya, and this," an insignificant part of my mind picked up that I tightened my grasp around her further, "is my – is Isabella." I gritted my teeth. I didn't want to point out Bella too much, and I didn't want to remind Tanya of why she left. I couldn't recall ever before having fumbled with words like that. Bella didn't seem to notice or even listen to what was said.

"Aha," Felix murmured in a quiet whisper – one that worthy the entire human race's stories of vampires. "Cullen?"

"Yes," I answered, trying to keep the cold from my voice.

Bella unfreezed, and I felt a feathery almost-not-there, afraid-and-impatient tremble from her hand that rested on my arm. I wished I could explain everything to her right away, but that was not possible. I wanted to put my lips to her ear and tell her their names, but that was not possible, either. We would both have to live with her unknowing of the truth.

"I expected as much from your eye-color," Felix continued, and then he turned to Tanya.

I glanced at my Denali sister. Was she paler than usual? She was, at least, frozen. I understood so sincerely, and it hurt. It hurt, because I could hear her fear. That was nothing to blame – her former history with the Volturi had not been pleasant.

"Are you Cullen, too?" Felix asked.

"We consider ourselves extended part of the Cullen family, but I am not directly from it. I am from the Denali Clan," Tanya answered, trying to sound as confident as possible. I could hear the pray in her, the pray that things would work out without trouble.

A low, fervent hiss from the female promised different omens.

I saw in her mind the woman that had been the Denali Clan's head, the woman that had been Tanya's mother – Sasha. Though the Volturi vampire did not know her name, and even though Tanya and her sisters did not even think the name, if possible, of course I knew it.

"Please," I interrupted, before more than that hiss could happen, "we do not wish to pick up trouble."

"What are you doing so far from your home?" Felix asked. I didn't like that they were still cloaked – though I had a bit of sense of how they looked through their minds, it wasn't clear. And to the others it was much harder, not knowing.

"Vacation," I answered confidently.

"Really? Without the rest?" Felix arched one eyebrow, and I heard his thoughts was not trusting my words.

"Does it really matter whether we are with our families or not? We are simply away for a little time. As I said, vacation." It was starting to bother me. They should be passing on now.

"There must be more to it," the female – Jane – insisted. Even though she was so tiny, she reminded of Alice, she was very intimidating. I knew her power, and at the moment, I wished for nothing but for her _not_ to use it. In an instant of insanity, I imagined Bella, writhing in pain, screaming, fidgeting, begging for it to stop while this monster was standing in front of her, grinning –

I shook it off me, trying not to hold Bella closer. I mustn't get so dark pictures in my head. It was unbearable.

"Are you looking out for more vampires to join your coven?" Jane continued, looking from Bella to Garrett, not having to think about what my holding so firmly on to Bella meant.

"No," I answered. "Why would we be doing that?"

Her lips pulled back over her teeth, almost in some sort of snarl. She was displeased by the lack of response. She wished to take us to Aro – one of the leaders of the Volturi, a vampire who could read minds much as myself, except for a few conditions – so that he could check us. But she didn't have a reason to do so. What we said could be true.

Exactly as it was.

"Their eyes are not the same. Hers are not like any color I have ever seen!" She pointed to Bella, and I hated that she had gotten the attention. It was clear to anyone who knew Bella the slightest, that she hated attention, but for some reason she always ended up getting it anyway.

"I just crossed by," Garrett told them severely. "As Edward said, it is coincidence."

"Really?" Jane asked. "So what about her?" She pulled back her arm and re-pointed at Bella, to make clear she wanted an answer immediately.

"She's just joined our way of living," Tanya said. "Her eyes are adjusting."

"Excuse me," Jane hissed, and I could hear the fury in her thoughts – I had to fight my urge to scoop Bella into my arms and run away. "Can she not speak for herself?"

Bella stiffened again.

The silence laid itself upon the space between us, while Jane awaited her answer. The question was not clear.

"Well?" Jane demanded.

"I don't … understand," Bella answered slowly. Her voice wasn't like I had ever heard it before. It was as if her mind was molding to get some sense out of the situation, at the same time as she was being extremely nervous – more nervous than the rest of us, I was sure. At the same time, her bell voice was demanding and angry.

"What don't you understand?" Jane was clearly impatient.

_Don't snap now, Jane. Aro won't be pleased if you snap for no reason_! Felix, apparently, did not support the idea of us laying wrything on the ground. It wasn't so much that he had compassion for us, more that he wanted to go home and that, in fact, we were innocent. He was a bit annoyed at his companion. Despite the situation, I found it a bit amusing.

"Who …" Bella cut herself off and slowly turned in my arms. I loosened my grip so to make it easier for her. And she was still a newborn; I couldn't have her accidentally hurting me, especially not in this situation. I didn't want to bring to their attention that she was a newborn, too.

But, it seemed inevitable, now that Bella was starting to ask the question I should have answered before.

"Who?" she mouthed.

I sighed, and I took an entire second to try and figure out what to do. I didn't like bringing to their attention that Bella didn't know who they were, but they kinda already did. I could hear them making the connection.

So I bow down and mouthed back: "Volturi."

Her brows creased, but I didn't think she knew what I was trying to tell her.

And that was when both Jane and Felix figured it out.

"Is this female not familiar with the rules?" Jane asked, acting hysterical. Part of her was, but most of her was rejoicing – she was certain that she would now get to use her gift.

"She is," Tanya hurriedly assured. I still hadn't de-frozen.

"Then how come she does not know who we are?" Felix asked calmly.

I looked up and into his eyes, trying to be as calm as I could. But I felt Bella in my arms. Her hand clutched my wrist, and I knew she had now put together whom they were. And she was afraid.

"She has never interacted with the Volturi before, and we haven't told her how to defer whether a vampire is a Volturi or not," I answered. Bella slowly turned to take in their figures. She must be even more annoyed over their cloaks now – how I hated not knowing. Then I would know how to make her feel better.

Jane hissed again, and though I couldn't see it, through her mind I knew she was narrowing her eyes. "So she is a newborn?" she asked. "So that's why her eyes are like that! You created her to your coven!"

_Wait till Aro hears this_!

I couldn't imagine in what way we were breaking the law, yet she was eager to tell this. Why?

Though I did not like the thought of being anywhere near the Volturi, a sudden urge to go to Italy – their home – hit me. I wanted to hear the thoughts of this vampire, though I knew my own thoughts would be the cost.

"Actually, Bella was already created when _she_ found _us_," Tanya protested.

_They can't justify this! If they lay as much as a freaking _finger_ on her, they're dead! I don't care what happens to me_!

Tanya's thoughts surprised me for some reason. It wasn't that I didn't already know how much Tanya loved Bella, it was just that I'd never been in a situation where Tanya's love would be tested.

"What coven did you belong to before?" Felix asked, looking at Bella. Janes thoughts concluded that she did not like that he asked.

"I didn't really belong to any," Bella answered. I felt as if my arms around her, no matter how tight, did not protect her.

I stopped myself from growling.

"But you did belong somewhere?" Felix asked, cleverly sensing the but.

Bella tugged herself closer to me, clearly uncomfortable. "Well, I was kinda with three nomads for a short period. I think a few weeks. But I didn't like their way of living, so I left them to search for others who felt the same way."

"Really," Felix murmured. "Interesting." I figured I shouldn't tell him I knew he was dead bored.

"We've done nothing to hold the Volturi's interest," Garrett assured.

Jane hissed. "Just make sure to make all the details clear to her!" she growled. She flicked her head to her left, allowing a bit of short, pale brown hair to be exposed, before it hid again in the dim shadows of her cloak. "Come on, Felix."

Felix was more than happy to leave. They ran off as black lightning, and the sound of them quickly disappeared in the forest.

It seemed everyone had held their breath and now started to take in air again.

"Why didn't you say it was the Volturi?" Tanya asked right away, turning to me with sort of an accusing glare.

"I'm sorry," I murmured. "I couldn't find the time for it." I was looking at Bella and had a hard time finding time and reason to look away. What shock she must have gone through! "Are you okay, Bella, love?" I asked and stroke away some of her hair and behind her ear. She looked at me with wide eyes.

"I'm so, so sorry," she whispered, as if she was going to burst into tears at any moment. "This is all my fault! I –"

"_Bella_!" Both Tanya and I cut her off mid-sentence at the same time.

_This is so typical her! Blaming herself for everything_!

It was strange how I didn't find any annoyance in her head, only sorrow and sympathy for her sister.

I rubbed my hand against Bella's bag, putting my hand at her jaw. "Bella, this wasn't your fault!" She opened her mouth to speak, but I quickly moved my hand over her lips to conceal those words that would make me angry. "Don't you dare say it was your fault!" She lowered her eyes, but I knew she was thinking it, which was enough to make me furious.

How dared anyone make her feel this way? How dare anyone even try and hurt her, even _think_ of it, as that demonic Jane had? It made me sick that Bella could even blame herself for something like that. What kind of childhood had she had to make her so self-loathing? Could she not see that she was totally innocent? Couldn't she see that she was the most beautiful, kindest, - that did not even _begin_ to cover it -, amazing, sexiest _and_ silliest woman in the world?

"Why were they here?" Garrett asked.

"They'd been talking with a little coven in the northern Norway," I answered.

"Really?" Bella suddenly interrupted, seemingly eager. "We should go visit them and see if –"

"Bella," I cut her off.

"Bella," Tanya said tenderly and came to put her arms around her. I found myself forced to let go, though I hated Tanya for it. She knew and she didn't care one bit. "We have to go home. We've been away a while now. I'm sure things have settled down a bit back home."

"I killed their freaking _alpha_, Tanya!"

"Even so," she continued, "we're not going to Forks. They won't know."

"But if they find out, they're sure to strike," Bella murmured. "Why can't we go north? Why can't we stay here?"

"Bella, it would be an act of terrible dimensions to go see someone the Volturi visited," Garrett said. "We've already marked ourselves to them. They might even send some to greed us and take us on a detour to Italy."

She bit down her lip and looked at the ground. She was definitely calculating the lesser of two evils.

She came to the same conclusion as us.

"Fine," she whispered. "I guess you're right. We must go home."

I reconquered her from Tanya and tugged her to my chest, gently stroking her hair. "It'll all be fine, Bella!" I promised her.

In my entire being, to the deepest core of my heart and out to the very skin, I hoped I was speaking the truth.

-

Finally! I got to write the Volturi's coming ^^ I've really been waiting for this!

Funny story:

So I've in a while now had a problem with me wanting to write on this story, but then two days ago, I remembered the scene with Bella's arm reattaching, and I was suddenly on fire for writing this again! You guys will probably have to get used to the thought of more limbs reattaching, 'cause I like to write about – for some odd reason. Maybe I, too, - like Bella – have a glitch in my mind.


	32. Chapter 32

I'm sorry I didn't get the chapter out yesterday, but the chapter just kept on growing and growing till I sat with more pages than expected. But hey, more for you to read!

Please review!

-

HOMECOMING

"Garrett?"

I had turned in the seat that would probably be quite comfortable in a human's eyes, and was now leaning over the back of it, staring at the strange vampire that was coming with us back to Alaska. It wasn't that I didn't like him, actually, I was happy that he was coming.

But I still couldn't understand _why_.

"Yes?" he asked, lifting his head the slightest bit from his pillow. He didn't open his eyes.

"Would you explain to me again why you are coming with us?"

"Bella, is this the best place to be talking about this?"

I looked around. Indeed, there were many humans, but I'd already waited two hours for most of them to fall asleep, and I wasn't satisfied with the answer he'd already given: _to try something new_.

"Just answer the damn question, Garrett," I hissed.

He sighed, turned fully around toward me and opened his eyes – which was some muddy brown, since he was wearing contacts. "Because I want to –"

"Try something new, yea, yea," I hurriedly cut in, making it clear to him that I already knew that.

"If you already know, why do you ask?" He seemed amused.

"I just don't … Garrett. You've been living … Your way for a while, right?"

"Yea. So?"

"So … I know what it smells like, what it tastes like." No reason to point out what _it_ was. "What we eat is nothing compared to it. My brother, Jasper, has problems with it. We don't like it, but … Well, _I_ do it because I don't like what I become if I do what … Well, what you've been doing … Understand?" He nodded. "It's hard, and I still have to get used to be out in public. Even now …" I shook my head, and I immediately felt Edwards arm around my waist, not only comforting me, also securing me in my seat. If I were to slip now, it would not only be all those people who would be sorry. I would be, too. "Garrett, if the only reason you're doing this is to try something new … I don't know if you could pull it off, and I think that maybe …" I bit my lip. I hated telling him I didn't have faith in him. "I think maybe you will have a harder time than the rest of us."

He grinned. "Then there's even more of a reason to do it."

I stared at him, my mind blank. "What?" I asked.

Edward snickered, and I flicked my eyes at him, staring him down. What was funny?

"I'm doing it partly for the challenge, Bella. The harder, the better," Garrett told me sincerely.

"But …" I narrowed my eyes. "Partly?"

He shrugged. "It's not as if I enjoy … What I've been doing up until now. It'll definitely ease some of the guilt, but it's not that I couldn't _live_ with that. Besides, I want to meet this so-very-much-spoken-of family." He grinned at me, and I smiled back, somewhat satisfied with his answer.

I slid back down into my seat, now with Edward's arm around me, which wasn't a bad add to the present. I put my head on his shoulder and faked sleep. He pulled me tighter – as tight as the little armrest would allow – and put his arms securely around me.

"I'm happy that we're going home," he whispered in my ear. This put a lump in my throat. It hadn't accomplished anything, going to Europe – except for picking up Tanya and Garrett, but she assured me that she would have come home anyway – and I'd dragged Edward from his family for nothing. I'd torn him away from those he loved, and he wouldn't even let me apologize. "But you know what?" he whispered on. I half opened my eyes, expecting something, what I didn't know. "I think it was a nice trip anyway." He ran his nose and lips up and down my jaw, putting his hand so that it rested at my neck. There, it carved around it, as if to make sure I didn't move. I didn't have any intentions to, anyway. I was perfectly fine being where I was.

"I miss Alice," I murmured softly, and his hand started playing with some of my hair. His touch ought to raise goose bumps.

"Surprisingly enough, so do I," he chuckled. I smiled, too. I was worried, though. Wouldn't they be angry when we got back? I'd left them all worried, stolen their son and brother, just for nothing. How long had we been gone? A month?

And furthermore, it couldn't be near enough for the wolves to settle for anything _near_ friendly.

"Don't worry so much, love," Edward murmured, sensing my mood. How well he knew me. He could pick up when I was blaming myself and immediately, he'd distract me. Like now, he was starting to place kisses along my jaw line. He wouldn't let me blame myself, wouldn't let me fall victim to the crimes I'd made.

"Hmm …" I murmured as response when his lips reached my throat. Even though my mind worked so much different from when I was human, now being able to think of several things at the same time, this seemingly insignificant touch distracted me more than enough. Already, my mind was flying elsewhere.

I put my hand against his neck and forced his lips on mine.

Our lips moved softly against each other, and I wondered shortly if it was possible for a human to feel such a sensation.

Then my mind slipped, and I duck into a more firm kiss; this meant me putting my arms around his neck and pulling us closer. He did not protest.

He gasped lowly and pulled back. I froze. What had I done wrong?  
He chuckled at my expression. "How easily you blame yourself for things that isn't to be blamed." He shook his head. "If you haven't noticed, my love," he continued, putting his lips at my ear, "we're in a public place."

Ah, dang it. "If you go take the pilot, I promise I'll be right here when you come back." His laughter was muffled in my hair. It was easy to _joke_ about killing people, of course, doing it was far away from my plans.

I sighed and slid back into my seat, keeping my hand in his. He still rested his fingers in my hair, stroking it back, and then ruffling it up so that he could begin over again.

The trip wasn't overly exciting, but I spend the time asking myself whether a vampire could get a headache. I really didn't know much about being a vampire, though I'd been it for a while now. Just like with the Volturi. I knew the Volturi existed, but part of me hadn't realized how very _real_ they were, until they stood there in front of me. I remembered the not knowing in silence, guessing Edward would freak out if I told too much.

I'd put us all in danger. No matter how they put it, it was my fault. And Alice probably had seen it – seen the Volturi. She must have been terrified, and I once again felt guilty for taking away her favorite brother. At least she had Jasper. That was the most comforting thought I could come up with at the moment.

I noticed when the sky started to lighten outside and people began to move around; the smell gushed around, warm and delicious. I stopped breathing all together, looking outside, trying to look indifferent.

"Bella," Edward murmured. I turned to look at him. "You're too still," he told me. "People are noticing that you're looking like a rock."

"Oh," I breathed, not quite able to figure out what to do. "Oops."

"Just try and move a bit from time to time. I know it's hard with the smell, but if you don't breath, make it look as if you do. Raise and lower your shoulders from time to time. Try and play with your hair a bit. And shift the way you sit in the seat sometimes. Humans don't sit the same way very long."

I glared at him. I knew that! It was just, there was really no need for doing all that. I was perfectly fine just sitting – or standing – without moving. I could stay in the same position for weeks! It seemed stupid to do all those little things – they were unnecessary!

"Why haven't you pointed this out before?" I whispered back, too low for anyone other than vampires to hear – I wasn't even sure Tanya and Garrett could hear if they weren't listening. "Why haven't anybody else?"

"You haven't been much in public," he answered, and I frowned.

"I was with Rosalie and Alice out –"

"And I'll scold them for that," he assured me. I smiled a bit. "But to be a Cullen is to know how to act. It's important that we keep up the charade."

I sighed and nodded a very little bit.

"And then you might want to go change your contacts," he added sincerely. He stuck the little box in my hand.

I took the box simply, got to my feet and was just about to go to the bathroom when Edward took my hand. "By the way; try not to walk too quick or slow."

I gritted my teeth and started walking, remembering that humans wasn't quite as graceful, either. I tried to remember how it was to be clumsy, tripping over every single thing. Edward's chuckle told me I wasn't doing a very good job, so I dropped it all together and just tried to walk slowly.

I wondered why he hadn't talked to me about this the last time we were on the plain, or before we got on it.

Then I figured I knew why. We'd both been stressed out at that time, and his mind had been elsewhere up until now. Wondering how long it would be before he'd see his family.

I sighed when I reached the bathroom. I looked in the mirror. He was right; I definitely needed to change. My eyes were almost entirely back to the crimson-orange color.

I lifted my hand to my eyes, forced myself not to blink, and picked out the contacts. I smiled. At first, it had been strange to put things in my eyes. I'd blinked my fair share. Now I remembered that blinking was another unnecessary thing. It was something that I had picked from my human life, much like breathing – it was a habit. I could try to make those other things habit, too.

I tried pulling back my hair and stretch my arms. I felt as if I was someone going on a bus and sitting next to a stranger when there is enough seats for me elsewhere.

It didn't belong. I felt silly doing it.

I'd have to ask Alice to help me with this.

Thinking of Alice and me doing stuff together again made me smile widely. I put the new contacts in my eyes, blinking, trying not to focus on the bow of the contacts that my eyes could see perfectly.

_I'll have to ask her why she didn't mention this stuff to me before. When we were shopping, everyone was positively gaping at us!_

I froze, realizing what I'd just thought, then giggling weakly to myself in the mirror. I was beautiful; I still had a hard time grasping it. I'd always been average, not something special. I'd never been amazingly good at anything, never been praised, yet not scolded, either. I'd never been the one everyone noticed – it was this fact, united with the genes my father had provided, that had made me so shy toward attention. I hated being in the center of things, probably because I wasn't used to it. This was not something I was planning to change – everyone had their own habits, I could keep mine.

In the middle of a strangely happy mood, called forth by these crazy thoughts, my mind blackened, remembering another habit; bringing the ones I loved in danger.

A sudden thought occurred to me, and I reached out for what I had not touched for a while now; my shield. I was afraid I'd lost my grasp around it, but after trying to push it a bit, I found that I was still at the same level, though the edges had fallen off. I wondered if Tanya would be interested in continuing training – I knew Kate definitely would.

If she did not hate me.

I frowned at myself in the mirror. Why did things turn out this way? A part of me wished I'd simply stayed home that night, watched a movie with my mother, or reading Wuthering Heights or Romeo and Juliet.

But I couldn't bring myself to truly wish for that, not now that I had Edward. He was worth any loss, but nothing was worth the loss of him.

Someone knocked very quietly on the door, and immediately knew it was Edward. One: He was probably the only one who would worry so much over a bathroom-visit to come check on me. Two: Even though he was very quiet, I could hear it. Three: It was faint, but I could smell him, too. Nothing in the world smelled so delicious. Anyone must know that and recognize him immediately.

I was suddenly hit by a shot of jalousie towards the people who were sitting in the cabinet, though there was no reason for me to be.

I opened the door, and just as expected, I found Edward looking wearily at me.

"What?" I asked.

He suddenly looked rueful. "I was just worried. Is anything wrong?"

I smiled at him, trying out what he said about the Cullens having to be able to lie. I would keep my distress from him – it would only make him sad, and there was nothing he could do to make it better, which would also make him sad.

It was still strange to me how much my ability to lie had improved since I became a vampire. No blushing or frantic heartbeat, no eyes wandering all over the place. I could now calmly look at my opposite and say whatever was on my mind.

Though, when it was Edward, the most important thing was that I was the one person whose mind he could not read.

"Nothing's wrong!" I assured him, taking his hand, secretly trying to seek comfort. "Why must you always jump to that conclusion?"

He frowned at me, his eyebrows creasing darkly. I put a finger to his forehead and tried in vain to smooth it. I sighed. Why did he know me so damn well? Well, I still had to try.

I smiled on. "Let's get back to our seats. It won't be long before we're home." The words sent thrills through me, filling me with expectation. He saw that, and he smiled widely, grinning a bit. His teeth flashed shimmers in the air, and I wondered if the humans were able to see it. It was so _clear_, they surely must. Part of my mind wondered if I'd ever unknowingly crossed vampires before.

"I miss them, too," he told me. We started to walk back to Tanya and Garrett.

"Really? Alice, too?" I couldn't help laughing, and the bell-like chime still mesmerized me. Out of my eye I caught the stare of two male humans and a woman with her child. I shut my mouth right away and let Edward pull me into my seat.

"Yes," he answered. "Alice, too. Now, why don't you stay here for the rest of the journey? No need to attract extra attention." Was I delusionary, or was there a double side to his words?

I smiled at him. "What? A bit jealous?" I teased.

He smiled and put his arms around me. "I like to think its closer to pity. I'd pick sitting here with you rather than sitting in their seats any time."

I smiled widely at him. "Really?" I flicked my head towards the two males who was still gaping at us – or me, I wasn't sure. "You don't want to trade with those two?"

His reaction was bound to make me laugh, though it became a muffled one. I had to try and keep it in.

He froze, his arms tightening around me, as if to keep me away from something dangerous. His eyes narrowed, and he glared at the two men. Pity ran through me; they must be scared. No, terrified would be a better word. Not only could Edward be frightening, their subconscious told them he was dangerous, too. When he stared at them that way …

I cautiously sniffed in, though I knew it was dangerous, and searched for their smell. Yes, I was pretty sure that was adrenaline.

Feeling my muscles tighten, his grasp became less of a protection and more like a prison. Not that I did not like to be there – I didn't ever want to leave. It was more that he now held me there so that I did not hurt anyone.

But though my throat was now afire, I could take it. I just had to turn and take in some of his smell, and my mind was instead now creasing around that smell, wondering how much better it would smell if I leaned in …

Edward was already in the same mood as I, and our lips met before half a second had passed. It would have been quicker if we were not in … Ugh – public. I had to remember that. I couldn't go around kissing Edward every now and then, though it was certainly a very appealing thought.

The thought of kissing Edward every now and then and whenever I felt like it only made it harder to break the connection. But I had a feeling a stewardess must soon come to tell us to stop being so damn cocky. I smiled.

"What's funny?" he murmured, feeling the smile on his lips.

"I'm just wondering when a _reprimand_ will hit us."

He chuckled. "Soon, if we don't stop this."

"Mhmm," I breathed, not willing to be the one breaking. It turned out he wasn't, either. "On three," I murmured. "One … Two … Three."

We broke the connection, staring into each other's faces. I was scrutinizing every inch of him, appreciating his very existence. Well, the very existence of his parents and grandparents, too. And the existence of Carlisle, who had transformed him. I smiled. There was much to be thankful for.

"Edward," I asked.

"Yes?"

"Do vampires celebrate thanksgiving?"

He didn't answer; he simply chuckled and kissed my forehead, not daring touching my lips again.

-

I felt stupid, sitting with the seat belt on, but I knew it was the rules when the plane was landing. I sighed. How long were they going to make us use them? I didn't exactly know why, but it annoyed me to have them on.

"Oh!"

I turned to demand of Edward what was so surprising, but his expression stopped me. His entire face was absolutely _sparkling_. I shot a glance at my own skin to see if the sun hit me, too, but it appeared the sun was behind the clouds – as it was supposed to in Alaska.

"What is it?" I asked, curious to know what could put him in such a mood right now.

"Alice!" he said. "He saw us coming." He rolled his eyes, still grinning. "I should have known. She's looking out for us now. The others are there, too."

Tanya laughed with him behind us. "Hi, Alice," she said. If Alice was looking out for us – which she surely was – she would hear.

I was filled with glee, and the seat belt was annoying me even more. I needed to get out _now_! I needed to run to my sister, I needed to _dance_. Incredible – I'd never before had the urge to do that. I wanted Alice with me instantly! Even if I had to put up with a whole _month_ of shopping! And that was just Alice. Then there were the others; Kate, my dear, crazy sister, who's humor never failed; Emmett, who would probably be picking a fight with me as soon as we were reunited; Jasper, who would grin and laugh at Emmett's requests; Rosalie, my beautiful sister, who was probably going to tell Emmett to cut it out and then tell me that my hair looked good before hugging me. I smiled, going through the rest of my family, too, realizing even more just how much I'd missed them.

"Are we there yet?" I asked under my breath, causing laughter from both Tanya and Edward plus a muffled chuckle from Garrett.

Finally, the plane got permission to land, and I watched Edward expectantly.

"You can hear them, right?" I asked.

He nodded. "It's a bit blurry, but I can make out the important parts."

I smiled. "Are they all there?"

He smiled back. "Yea. They've been missing you. A lot."

I frowned, but before I could protest, he put a hand on my mouth. "Suck it up," he said gently.

Edward may complain about Alice to the end of existence, but he'd never come around how much they were alike. Maybe they spend too much time together. I smirked. I could change that.

He raised one delicate eyebrow at my sudden beam.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

I grinned. "How much brother and sister are alike," I answered.

He rolled his eyes, but I was sure he didn't mind being compared to his favorite sister in some ways.

Behind us, Garrett and Tanya were eagerly discussing Garrett's newest goal; becoming a vegetarian. Tanya told him tons of things about the hard life, but also some of the good stuff that I didn't think much about. Like it was easier to control oneself when being a vegetarian. I grimaced. I remembered when I first noticed that; back when I was with James' coven.

"Finally!" I gasped when we were allowed to take off our seat belts.

"Is it that hard to sit still?" Edward asked gently.

I frowned at him. "You're having just as hard a time as me."

"Wrong," he smirked, wrapping his arm around my waist. "I'm having a harder time."

I gasped, outraged. "That cannot be!"

"Stop it, you two," Tanya laughed, standing up in front of us as we started to move out. "I'm the one having the hardest time."

"This is a very strange conversation," Garrett pointed out, and we all grinned at him, humans forgotten. That was a mistake.

The smell gushed through me, and I stopped breathing, my head swirling strangely.

"Just a little longer, my love," Edward whispered in my ear.

I nodded grimly.

The humans were too slow! How did they ever get anywhere?

"Easy," Tanya murmured and patted my hand. "You should think having all the time in the world made one more patient, but no." She grinned at me, and I couldn't help grinning back.

"Alice is at least as impatient," Edward suddenly laughed. "Jasper is having a hard time keeping her in one place. Just before she thought about running up here." He shook his head. "Alice." He glanced at Garrett with a brotherly smile. "She's looking forward to seeing you again. They all are. She was wondering where'd you'd been and why she hadn't looked for you."

Garrett grinned. "I guess she's have other things to think about."

There was something in Edward's voice. He was telling more than 'Alice is looking forward to seeing you again'. What had Alice seen?

And then my mind went elsewhere. There was a sound – or rather, there wasn't. We were in the airport now, surrounded by the noises. Yet we were still separated from the crowd, but it wouldn't be long …

I knew, because there was a group of feathery vibrations, slight sounds of movement.

If I was not so tuned to the sounds, I would not have noticed it. If it had been anyone else, I would not have recognized them unless I had been listening carefully for it.

It was them. By my calculations, we would be united in a few seconds.

The anxiety from before was back, filling me with rage toward myself again. How could they possibly forgive me for my doings?

"Excuse me, miss! Miss, you can't go there!" a loud voice yelled, and I could imagine who he was shouting to.

The people around us began to look anxious, and the ones up front – those who could probably see my family now – stared obviously.

"Miss!" His voice wasn't as sure as before, and I wondered what Alice had done – and whether Jasper would approve of it or not.

A tiny body, with what must seem for others to be impossible elegance, danced through the crowd, smiling widely. It was as if she had some kind of inner sun that was about to burst out of her.

"Bella!" she shrieked, the high-pitched noise becoming a heavenly song.

It was less than a second when I was suddenly forced away from Edward and encaged by the thin arms that seemed too fragile.

In one, swift moment everything connected, everything fell into place. Of course they didn't hate me; they were my family. They had been sad, but they hadn't ever blamed me, no matter how much I deserved it. I blamed myself for hurting Alice. How much she must have wanted to go look for us, but she knew that was not what we wanted. All she could have done was too look out for us in her own way, but only to assure to herself that we were okay. She could not contact us and tell us that we needed to worry.

Maybe she'd seen the Volturi.

"Bella," my sister sniffed, and for a moment I thought she was going to cry.

I smiled and hugged her back. "Alice," I whispered back.

She stepped back and poked my shoulder. "You better have missed me!" she warned, her eyes shooting lightning at me.

"Yea, yea, Alice, we all missed you," Edward sighed, and she turned to him with narrowed eyes.

There was a long moment of silence as the two of them stared evilly at each other, and I was pretty sure that they were doing one of those times: Edward would read Alice's mind to see, what she'd do, and she'd look into the future to see, what he'd be doing. In the end, they wouldn't do it, because in their minds it had already been done.

This time was different.

"Aw, what the hell!" she gloomed and threw her arms around him. "I guess it's good to see you, too."

"I never said I'd missed you."

She glared at him.

"Okay, okay," he laughed. "I missed you – and I promise."

Her face lit up again, and she took my hand, turning back to me. I wondered what he'd just promised. "Bella, it can't possibly be good for you to be with him. Look how he's inflicting you! Edward has always been a disappointing brother, but I didn't expect it from you!" She talked as if we were discussing a virus, but there was no hint of anything serious in her voice. It was clear she did not blame me – apparently, if she blamed anyone, she blamed Edward.

Still holding my hand, she turned to Tanya, who she also hugged tightly. "Everyone was so afraid," she told her. "Of course I knew you were all right. But I didn't look out for you much. I know you didn't want that."

Tanya smiled at her. "Thank you, Alice."

"Would you move it?" someone sad from behind. We were still standing in the line.

"It's amazing," I murmured as we began moving. "First they're moving incredibly slow, and then they're griping about us not being fast enough." I talked too low for any humans to hear me, yet three eyes shot me warning glances.

"Garrett," Alice thrilled, smiling at the nomad. "We're all so happy you've come to join us! It's been a while since last time!"

Garrett grinned back. "I happy, too. And I agree – it has been too long. But I was busy in south America and then I went to Norway," he answered.

That was when I saw my family again. They all looked as if they were on the edges of … doing something that humans should not see.

We hurried to them to not tempt them more to do anything in that caliber. We were instantly covered by arms and faces, and if it wasn't for my vampire eyes and mind, I wouldn't know what was going on.

Kate and Rosalie reached me first, Kate swinging over to also grab Tanya so that we were all entangled in a huge hug. I could hear that Edward was being attacked, too, though in a more subtle way.

It had only been one second, then Kate parted with Tanya, and Irina was there, hugging both of them. One tenth of a second later, both Carmen and Eleazar was with them.

I looked at Edward, who had just finished getting free of his two laughing brothers, who now turned to me.

Emmett grinned hugely, reaching out for me. I narrowed my eyes. "Like I would ever dare," I breathed. He laughed, and I dared anyway.

When I was surrounded by Jasper's arms, he laughed. "You're weird, Bella," he told me. I looked up into his eyes, and they were sparkling at me. I wondered what he was thinking.

Alice laughed, her arms around us both. "Didn't you already know?" she asked. Jasper smiled at her, and I could see relief in his eyes. I guessed Alice had been in more distress than she would ever let me know.

Edward had finished with Carlisle, but was still in Esme's arms – she looked at him as a mother looks at her three-year-old son who just got a scratch on his knee.

The head of the family was now in front of me, and he looked at me with worried eyes. I was sure he would be the only one ever truly daring brining up what had happened.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Bella?" he asked, and though he tried not to, he looked sad. "We wouldn't want you to be unhappy. If you need to leave, then we will understand."

I smiled widely and threw my arms around the man I looked upon as a father. No, more than a father. Though I hadn't been with my family for long, he already felt like a guidance to me, too. "What I need is my family," I answered him, and pulled back. "I've missed all of you!"

He smiled, relieved. "We missed you, too, Bella."

Then Esme was shunning him out of the way, her arms instantly closing around me. She hugged me tightly, letting us swing a bit from side to side, as if she was trying to comfort me. I was very thankful to her. She was a true mother.

"Oh, Bella, dear, you're finally home!" she whispered. "I was so worried for you!" I could imagine that. Esme had not had one comfortable moment, knowing two of her children might be in danger.

"I'm sorry I got you worried, mom," I murmured, smiling at the fraise. She held me closer.

"Esme, can we …?"

I looked over Esme's back and saw Carmen, Eleazar, Irina, Kate and Tanya. How right they looked, all together now. I smiled, but Esme seemed to be very reluctant when it came to letting me go.

Instead, another huge group hug found place. I tried to get my arms around everyone, which made everyone laugh.

"The Cullens already know Garrett," Tanya said, holding Garrett out in front of her sisters and Eleazar. "But you don't. We met in Europe, and we're good friends."

"We've heard about you, Garrett," Carmen announced, holding her hand out to Garrett as an invitation. She glanced at Alice with a smile. "She's hard to keep anything from."

Garrett laughed. "So I've heard." Alice stuck her tongue out at him, which only made all of us laugh.

I looked around. It all seemed so cliché, and I wondered what people were thinking of us – of course, this was only a small part of my mind. The majority of my mind was concentrating on my family.

Then my eyes fell on Jasper, and to my surprise, he seemed to be the one with the most relieved expression on his face. Probably catching my confused feelings, he turned to me with questioning eyes, but I looked away, knocking it out of my head for now.

"There is someone else that you need to meet, Bella, Tanya," Irina told me, taking my hand in one of hers, and Tanya's in the other. I followed, confused and curious. The others stayed behind, chuckling and talking quietly. I looked behind at Edward to get some sort of clue, but he just shrugged. Right. Like _he_ didn't know.

"Where are we going, Irina?" Tanya asked.

"Outside," Irina answered. "I decided to wait till we were outside, y'know, to not ruin the reunion." She smiled, and there was something in that smile. Like she was complete. Or going to be.

It took a while to get outside; the humans made it impossible to get through. Especially because they made a sport out of stopping to stare at us. Someone shouted words to us that would have made me blush if I was human – and if I cared for them. Right now I was only focusing on the doors leading outside.

Safe out of the building, we maneuvered toward a bunch of good-looking cars that I recognized. A lone figure stood there, his black hair waving in the wind, making him look very human. But the scent told me he wasn't human, not at all. And after a second, I remembered who he was.

Tanya took five seconds longer than me.

"Laurent?" she asked.

Laurent asked, and when his eyes caught mine, he grinned. "Hi, Tanya," he greeted her. "Long time since, huh?"

Tanya shrugged. "Not really," she answered.

"Huh? Well, yea, I guess." He grinned wider.

"Laurent?" I still couldn't put it together.

"Hi, Bella."

He began walking closer, and that was when I noticed; his eyes were usually crimson, and they were now, too, but … They were lighter. Just a very little bit, but compared to the Laurent I had in my head, good eyes could see the difference.

"Did you …?" I asked, leaving the question hanging, hoping he understood.

He nodded. "Yea. I'm vegetarian!"

I smiled at him and peeked at Irina. "That's great!" I said, though I wasn't sure if he could hold on to it. But he did it for Irina. There was a chance.

"Hello, Laurent," Edward greeted pleasantly, reviving at my side. I reached for his hand, and he gave it to me.

"Hello, Edward," Laurent answered. "Oh. There's a new one." He looked at Garrett, taking in the other nomad. "I'm Laurent."

Garrett smiled. "I guessed as much," he answered.

"Enough talking!" Alice chimed. "Let's get home!" She was instantly at my side. "I'm with Bella!" Her voice was demanding and threatening, and she ran her eyes over the others, telling them not to get in her way. Jasper laughed, obviously not trying to ease her feelings. Alice beamed when no one responded. "Then let's go!"

She pulled me into one of the cars – I didn't notice which – and Edward followed without a word.

Rosalie got in with us, taking the driver's seat, followed by Jasper. The smile on Jasper's face gave me that weird feeling again. I'd never seen him like this.

"Let's –"

"Go," Rosalie finished Alice's sentence. "Take it easy, Alice!" Rosalie had turned her beautiful face to roll her eyes at her sister. Alice simply stuck her tongue out. "I know you're eager to get home, but don't you think your act is a bit suspicious?"

I was immediately alarmed.

"What?" I asked, frozen in my seat.

Alice sighed. "Take it easy, Bella. It's just a surprise." She glared at Rosalie, who laughed. "The bimbo ruined it!" Rosalie chuckled and turned around again, turning the car key in a swift movement.

"Edward," I murmured. "What is it?"

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said sincerely, truly seeming as if he was sorry. "But I promised Alice not to say anything."

I tried to remember him promising such a thing, and my mind wandered back to when she'd attacked us. I sighed.

"I hate surprises," I murmured.

"Suck it up!" Alice informed me sharply, and then her eyes sparkled. "You'll love it! We've all worked hard for it, Esme especially. It's sort of a 'welcome home' present."

"A _present_?" I shrieked, staring frozen at her.

"Jeez, Bella, what's your problem? Everybody else loves presents!" Alice glared at me as if I was crazy.

Jasper had turned to look at me, and I felt a wave of calm wave away the shock.

"What's wrong, Bella?" he asked seriously, suddenly worried. He seemed more worried than needed. Had Jasper caught some mood-sickness? A virus that only he could get?

"Nothing," I murmured.

But there was.

I'd put all of my family in sorrow, and now they were giving me a present? It was too much …

"Take it easy, Bella," Rosalie said to me, looking at me through the rear view mirror.

As soon as we left town, all the cars picked up speed, but Alice still felt it was taking too long. She was writhing in her seat, leaning forward every now and then.

"For the love of … Alice, stay _still_!" Rosalie shouted.

"Can't you drive any faster?"

"_No_!" the blonde answered firmly, glaring forward. I was afraid she might destroy something accidentally.

"Finally!" Alice gasped. We were driving on the entrance that lead to the house, soon looking at our home.

She opened the door before the car was stopped entirely, grapping my hand to pull me out with her.

"Come on, Bella!" She stopped and stared back at Edward with narrowed eyes. "You too. And try to look surprised."

Edward sighed and got out.

The others were already here, waiting for us. Behind me, Rosalie and Jasper were getting out of the car as well.

I looked at the house. It hadn't changed. Not one bit. I was happy to see this. I didn't know what I had been expecting, but maybe a dark, miserable version.

"Come on, Bella!" Alice repeated, pulling me along. I heard Emmett roar a laughter somewhere, and I tried to glare at him, but Alice had already gotten me inside the house.

"Hurry! Hurry!"

"Right," I growled.

She took me to the kitchen where she stopped. "What?" I asked her.

Then Kate came, waiting for something.

Before I knew of it, Alice had put her hands over my eyes. "Don't push me away. It's for your own best."

I wondered what was going on, when I heard some kind of door crack open. Kate told me to start walking, and I felt her hand in mine.

"Stairs," she told me. I moved forward, looking for the right steps with my feet. I heard a click, and I guessed a contact had been turned on.

"Look now!" Alice whispered excited, and removed her hands.

I blinked and looked for what it was she wanted to show me.

I froze.

I stood in a room with a big couch that looked very comfortable, a very soft looking carpet on the floor and bookshelves. There was a coffee table in front of the couch and a double bed in the corner by the stairs. It was a big room, and there were still room for a lot of other stuff, too, and the bookshelves were only decorated with very few books.

But it was this room that made it feel so … so much like home.

I'd lost a lot of stuff since I became a vampire, and this was my chance to get it back.

The walls were painted beige, and there was a very calm aura in the room.

I loved it.

"So what do you think?" Alice demanded.

I stepped further into the room, looking at the bookshelves. A new cover of _Wuthering Heights_ together with all of Jane Austen's classics were stored there. I smiled. I reached out for the book I'd lost when we left Forks. On the first page I found a note written with a swift script.

_I know you like reading, but if you keep reading this book as much as you used to, you'll end up just as depressing as the book itself. Care for some baseball?_

I snickered and said out loud: "You actually read the book?" I waited for his answer expectantly.

"Nope. I read half," Emmett answered from above, laughing boomingly. "Too depressing for me!"

I smiled. This was too much. I didn't deserve it at all.

Yet my family had done all this for me.

"Thank you," I murmured. "All of you."

I went with Edward upstairs where I hugged all of them again. "Thank you so much," I murmured again and again.

We went to the living room where Edward, Tanya, Garrett and I were placed in the sofa.

After talking and laughing for a little while, Alice danced to my side, suddenly serious. Edward froze at my side as she handed me something.

-

Tell me what you think ^^

And yes, we can agree that this chapter is very, very long. I wanted it a bit longer, but, well, had to stop at some point. But it's holiday, so I'll be writing a lot :)

Happy holidays, everyone!


	33. Chapter 33

Yea! I got it finished today! Please review, will you? :)

-

33. THE ANCIENT LORDS

Alice was holding a sheet of paper towards me. It was almost blank except for a few black words written in thick, black letters.

I cautiously took the paper from her, looking at Edward out of the corner of my eye. The others were waiting for my reaction, too. I saw that Tanya and Garrett were just as blank as I was.

I read the words so swiftly, time was not relevant. I didn't understand as quickly. It was nonsense to me. The letters were printed on the paper with some sort of cryptic meaning, or someone was playing a really bad joke on me. Emmett immediately flew through my mind.

But Emmett wouldn't make this kind of joke. Then what was it? Was I supposed to understand? Was someone trying to mark me as stupid.

**One of you lives unknowing.**

I stared at the words, my mind spinning to figure out what could possibly be the meaning of this.

"It's just as written," Carlisle murmured. "She doesn't know."

Edward snarled lowly, not threatening, more like a curse, under his breath. "We were reckless."

"We took it for granted," Carlisle said, whether he agreed I did not know.

"What does this mean?" I asked, looking up at them.

"It's the Volturi, Bella," Edward answered. "They must have some sort of spokesperson. Jane and Felix went back to Italy to tell Aro about us. It was in their minds. Even if it wasn't, Aro would have known anyway."

I was surprised the others didn't gasp or something at the info of us meeting the Volturi, but no one made a sound.

_Alice_.

"Aro?" I asked.

Edward moaned and hid his face in his hand, looking utterly in despair. I was immediately alarmed. Seeing him like this made me ache.

"What's going on?" I asked. Just a few moments later I felt a bit soothed, and I was thankful for Jasper. Alice reached for my hand and sat down beside me.

"Aro is one of the three Volturi leaders," Carlisle said. "The Volturi is like royalty, remember?" I nodded, remembering that they'd said that before, when they explained the rules to me. They hadn't told me much about the _rulers_, though. "So Aro would be like a king."

I narrowed my eyes. "Yea. But what do you mean he would have known anyway?" I asked Edward.

It was Carlisle who answered again.

"Aro has a gift much like Edward's, only he need to connect first. And when he's connected, he can hear every thought that ever crossed the mind he's connected to. The Volturi always give their masters all information about what has happened through Aro. He simply needs to touch their hand, and their thoughts is in his hands."

I shuddered. I'd thought Edward's gift was bad enough, but with him you could at least try not to think of something whenever he was around. But with Aro that was not a possibility.

"But what do they have got to do with this note?" I asked.

Carlisle looked at me with remorseful eyes. "It's about you, Bella. 'One of you lives unknowing' is a hint to you. Alice knew that you didn't know it was them. We were worried, so she looked for what the Volturi was doing, and she saw someone write the note. It came with a letter yesterday." I shuddered. A Volturi couldn't possibly have come to our territory! They must've gotten the humans to do it. How? I wasn't sure I wanted to know. All I needed to know was that they hadn't been that close.

"It's an advice to learn you how to recognize them," Carlisle said, but he was interrupted by Edward's furious growl.

"It's a warning!" he growled.

"You don't know that!" Carlisle pointed out. "You haven't read anyone's minds."

Edward was instantly on his feet, looking intimidating, yet we all knew it wasn't any of _us_ he was furious at. "I don't need to read anyone's mind! It's obvious!"

"Edward's right," Jasper said quietly. "It may not be as serious as what they're usually dealing with, but the Volturi doesn't tolerate lapses."

"So?" Emmett asked. "If they come, we'll fight them."

A silence crept over the room in a second.

Then Jasper continued: "Emmett, it's not that big a deal. One vampire that doesn't know how to recognize the Volturi. There are plenty of them."  
"It's another thing when it's the Cullens," Edward murmured.

Carlisle nodded. "The Volturi expects that much of us."

Emmett growled. "Fine. So we'll teach her how to find out it's a Volturi. Big deal."

"They'll probably be checking in on us," Eleazar nodded. "They always did that when I was with them. I don't see why that should have changed."

I flinched, thinking about Eleazar's past with the menacing vampires that everyone seemed to fear. I feared them, too. They'd told me stories about them. When the Denali had been gone, Carlisle had told me about their mother and the son she'd created. The immortal child. Like many before her, she'd changed a human that was merely a baby into a vampire. These immortal children did not have the ability to learn, so they could not keep the law. They could not be controlled. When they were hungry, they fed, not caring who knew. The Volturi had killed my sister's mother and the brother they did not know of. When the Volturi saw that they didn't know, they spared their lives. But they'd been lucky.

That story alone had been enough to scare me. I wondered why anyone would dare make such a child.

"Okay, so we'll teach Bella the stuff she needs to learn – also the stuff not concerning the Volturi, just to be safe – and then make ourselves look good when they come to check," Rosalie summed up, looking around. Her eyes stopped at me, and she smiled weakly at me. I didn't understand that smile.

"Alice, how long have we?" Esme asked.

Alice's eyes went blank only to return to 'normal' a few moments later. "I don't know," she answered. "The Volturi may not come to check up on this. It's not that important." She looked at Carlisle. "Besides, Carlisle is their friend, and I guess they must trust him to a certain degree. Maybe they just wrote the note to help us."

Edward made a strange noise, but Carlisle smiled. "I hope you're right, Alice."

"Well," Kate continued, suddenly grinning too widely. "Should we get Bella to school or what?"

Emmett snickered, catching her mood instantly. I wasn't looking forward to having them as teachers.

-

I was standing in the doorway, watching the forest. I was enjoying one of the few silent moments I'd had in the last two days. My family was constantly filling my brain with information about the Volturi and the vampire life and the rules. How determined I might be, I'd needed a break, and after I'd gone hunting, I was now standing in the doorway.

It was also one of the rare moments that Edward wasn't with me. Ever since we'd gotten the note he'd been hovering over me more than usually. He didn't seem to take it as easy as the others.

In the same moment, a glistening of silver caught my eyes, and I looked for it. Irina and Laurent came from the forest, Laurent with a bit grumpy look in his eyes. I smiled. He didn't like animal blood much.

Irina grinned at him, her silver hair wavering around them both. I was happy to see her like that, but I hoped Kate didn't take it too heavily. I remembered how she'd taken it with me and Edward.

"Hi Bella!" Irina called, dragging Laurent along, while she waved her hand at me. "How's learning going?"

"It's okay," I called back. "Just as school is supposed to be. Hard and without obligation."

She laughed, and she and Laurent crossed by me. Laurent tried to smile at me, but he didn't succeed very well. I feared he may cheat soon. I would have to look it up with Irina.

I remembered the last time I'd taken a break. He'd told me all three of them – him, James and Victoria – had split up. Victoria had gotten insanely into some sort of study, and Laurent had decided to come to us. James hadn't felt like either, and he'd gone his own way. Laurent didn't know where he was.

I wondered if James was okay, and I hoped he didn't go anywhere near Italy. I gritted my teeth. Everything reminded me of _them_. Though I tried not to think directly of their name.

"Bella." I turned to see Alice smiling at me. "I made this for you."

She gave a folded paper to me, and I narrowed my eyes. Her expression didn't match any sort of sad news, so it couldn't be something from the Volturi.

"What is it?" I asked.

She grinned at me. "You'll see." Then she danced away.

I opened the letter, and after I'd looked it over, I gave out a chuckle.

_The five ways to recognize the Volturi_

_1 They're almost always wearing cloaks, lacking a sense of fashion as they are._

_2 They're almost always in groups of two or three – unless you're in Italy, then they're a bit more than that._

_3 They're always acting arrogant._

_4 They constantly speak to you as if you've done something wrong._

_5 They're not nice. Oh, well, Eleazar is, but y'know, rules are made to be broken._

-

Sheeijan was the one coming with the idea of "ten ways to recognize the Volturi". I just wanted to add it :) Thank you, Sheeijan ^^

Well, this was a quick and not very important or interesting chapter. I hope you enjoyed anyway.

I hope to get started on the next chapter Wednesday. I can't start sooner because Henriette is coming to visit tomorrow – you all remember her, right :P Not that you guys care or anything xD You probably don't even read this.


	34. Chapter 34

Edit: UPDATED CHAPTER! NOW WITH VOLTURI SCENE!

Before we go on, I have something important to say.

I was reading through Breaking Dawn the other day, and it suddenly occurred to me: The Cullens already knew Garrett! DUH! So chapter 30 and chapter 32 have changed a bit, but not much. Just a few lines here and there. Nothing major.

Just so that you know :)

-

34. CONSPICIOUS

"Bella, seriously," Emmett sighed, leaning over my back. "Haven't you memorized it? Can't you just read it inside while doing something else?" He seemed to think about what other activities I could be doing than reading my _Wuthering Heights_. From the expression Edward gave off, Emmett had already decided what he would suggest, and it must be something with "me getting hurt", because Edward's arm around my waist tightened. We stayed together as much as possible – not only because Edward was superstitious and thought I couldn't handle a Volturi. Having been away from them for a while made me think they weren't as terrifying as I made myself believe – maybe Emmett was contagious.

We also stayed together for another reason.

It was very hard to get some alone time in a house filled with vampires who had excellent ears. Emmett and Rosalie could get away with it – luckily, not every night – but I was much too self-conscious for that, though, obviously, it was too hard to stay away from Edward. Sometimes I found myself wondering if we could take another vacation.

"You could … Hmm … I dunno," Emmett mumbled beside me. I'd totally forgotten about what we were doing at this point. "Come wrestle with me?"

Edward groaned and pulled me away from him. Emmett rolled his eyes.

"Or you could fight Edward for being so irritating and overly protective!"

I gasped, finally looking up from my book. It was an outrageous thought of blasphemy! Hurting Edward was just … just … Impossible!

I glared at Emmett, feeling like …

I growled.

"Woooooh, so scary." He snickered and turned to Edward. "How you keep her down I can't imagine."

It took less than an eight of a second for me to realize what he'd meant, and I growled more heavily.

"Ah, come on, Bella!" he grinned. "That supposed to scare me?" He winked at Edward. "Or does he like when you act wild?"

"That's _it_, Emmett!" I shouted, jumping off the couch, flipping my book to the corner of the room.

I kicked myself off the couch, not bothering whether we needed to buy a new one or not, launching myself at him.

I heard Edward call my name and felt his one hand try to grasp my wrist, but I was too fast out of his arms.

"You! You! You!" I shouted, not sure what to call Emmett while we tumbled around on the floor. I was stronger than he was, and I didn't care if I hurt him; he was a vampire, I was living proof that those kinds found their way back together.

Emmett just laughed until Edward pulled us away from each other, quickly standing in between us, facing our brother. He growled furiously.

"What now, bro?" Emmett laughed. "Jealous? Is she too _cold_ towards you?"

I heard Rosalie snicker somewhere, and Jasper sigh.

"Looks like I owe him," he murmured.

"Big time," Rosalie laughed.

"I should have asked Alice."

I was just about to jump at Emmett again when I heard that. I turned to see them standing in the other end of the room, Rosalie with my _Wuthering Heights_. When had she gotten that? She grinned at me, shaking her head at some inside joke.

"Where's Alice?" I asked worriedly.

Jasper was much like Edward. As soon as he learned that the Volturi just _might_ show up – even a few of them – he went to Alice's side and didn't move from it since.

Jasper frowned at me. "She got some vision and told me to stay away," he answered. "She didn't seem bothered. Her feelings weren't in turmoil. But you never know …"

"Oh, cheer up, Jazz," Emmett boomed, rolling his eyes.

I gritted my teeth at him. "I'm not done with you!" He grinned, not bothered by that at all.

Then my mind almost made _click_ sound, and I smiled knowingly at him. I still had a maddeningly urge to rip his head off, but I knew that was what he wanted. So if I just didn't let him get to me that would be more of a punishment than anything I could do physically at him.

I cringed at the thought of what jokes he could make out of that.

I jumped over the now destroyed couch – after both Edward and I had launched over it, there had been no other fate for it – and walked to Rosalie. I held my hand out for my book, and she gave it to me, first looking questioningly, then seeming to understand. She snickered, and I grinned back.

Jasper shook his head, smiling, too. I still wondered why Jasper had changed so much.

He turned his head at me when those confused feelings towards him reached his gift, and he shook his head as if I was missing something very obvious.

I rolled my eyes and went outside, Edward following right behind me, Emmett growling something about bad sisters and hurricanes.

We were sitting just outside the clearing of the house, in the shadow of a tree. I sat with my book in my lab, trying to concentrate on it, while Edward ran his nose and his lips up and down my jaw. He hummed a melody, murmuring incoherent words in my ear.

When I finally noticed that I'd read the same sentence more than a hundred times, I sighed, slammed the book together and flipped it away in the grass.

I turned around to put my arms around his neck, meetings his lips softly with mine. A longing moan demanded its way through my throat, and I ignored self-consciousness and Emmett's laughter inside. He may be laughing about something else …

"Edward, Bella, we've got more urgent things going on than cuddling!"

I quickly pulled away from Edward, the movement almost disappearing, to look at Alice. My sister was bowing towards us, and I felt Edward freeze under my hands.

"He's coming," she said, grabbing my hand. "He just decided to give us a visit."

I didn't have to ask who.

So the Volturi was only sending one to check on me. I was grateful to that for many reasons; first, my family wouldn't be in as much danged, second, I wouldn't have to deal with more than one, and third, it meant they didn't care much.

"When will he be here?" I asked as Edward pulled both of us up.

"Three hours," she answered, not bothering to look at us. She danced to the house where Jasper had his arms open for her return.

As soon as we came into the house three seconds later, I was overwhelmed with a pop quiz of the Volturi and all in all the life as a vampire – and even questions of vampire history. I ended up growling quite a bit at my family as the stress kicked in.

"Take it easy, everyone," Eleazar said. "It's not that bad. It's just one vampire."

Nobody responded, and Eleazar sighed in defeat.

For once, it seemed like the time ran away, and we were soon all gathered outside the house, on the edge of the forest, waiting for the sight Alice had seen; a vampire walking through the shadows toward us.

"Finally, the black cloak made it to the hysterically terrified, strong vampires, who – "

"Emmett!" Alice snapped.

"What? I was bored."

My lips twitched. I would never give up my brother, even if he was a pain. He always took things so lightly, it was hard to feel down with him around.

"Finally," Alice sighed.

One second later, a cloak stood in front of us, stone still. A second passed, then the Volturi lifted its hands to let the light shine on his face and revealed himself.

His hair was as red as his eyes, short, but alive. As fire.

He was beautiful, of course, but I was happy to say that he was not as big as either Emmett nor Jasper.

He watched us with his crimson eyes for a moment before opening his fine mouth and saying: "I bid you my greetings from the Volturi masters, Aro, Caius and Marcus. My name is Fredric."

Silence had already befallen my family, but when he spoke, it was as if another layer of silence took over. One that didn't just overcome the body, but also the mind. I wondered if this guy had some gift that prevented us from … Well, I didn't know exactly what we were prevented from. All I knew was that some place inside of me, I wanted to get away from him, and I wanted my family gone, too.

I knew the best I had; my shield.

I tried to expand it, but I could only reach Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Kate and Emmett. That was the extent of my shield.

I was about to give out a groan, but I stopped myself. The Volturi would misunderstand.

"I am Carlisle," Carlisle presented, cautiously walking toward the Volturi with his hand stretched forward. I didn't like it. I wanted to follow him, to have my shield around him. But that would mean leaving Edward …

Truth was, I didn't even know if my shield could prevent this guy's gift, or if he even had one. Maybe our reaction was one to stress.

Fredric took the hand without a flinch. "I am here because of your newborn."

Carlisle nodded. "We figured as much."

Fredric raised an eyebrow and Edward tensed beside me. I wondered what had upset him.

"My masters fear that she does not know of the law," Fredric informed, looking deadpan at me. This was very frightening; not being able to read his face.

"I can assure you, she knows the law very well," Carlisle said.

"Yet she didn't recognize The Volturi when she saw them."

"You cannot expect every newborn to know how to recognize the Volturi," Carlisle argued.

"We can. It is needed so that the law is kept." His eyes wandered back to me from Carlisle, and Edward's arm tightened around me.

"But we have done nothing wrong. There is no need for you to be here," Carlisle continued.

"I see," Fredric mused. "Who created her?"

Carlisle hesitated, and his eyes flickered shortly to mine and to Edward's. Made such a little tilt of his head, it almost didn't count as a nod.

"We don't know," Carlisle informed. "She was left."

Fredric raised his eyebrows. "Left? So no one told her of the law."

I felt it was needed that I began taking charge of the situation and the story. It could be bad if they got it wrong.

"I was told of the law," I said. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't entirely the truth, either. "I've never killed a human, and I've stayed hidden. The law is not broken." I hoped my assurance was enough for him to leave. Instantly.

He didn't move.

"How did you get here? How did you join the Cullen family if they did not create you?" he asked.

"I stumbled across them," I answered. This was true.

He narrowed his eyes, sensing there was more to the story than what we'd told him, but he nodded. "I see. It is true then. I am not needed here. I will tell my masters what you have told me." He bowed his head and ducked back into the shadows.

-

"That guy was freaky, wasn't he?" Emmett asked when we walked inside. He immediately sat down in the couch, flicking on the TV. Rosalie sat down beside him, and he moved his arms around her.

"Stop trying to pick a fight," I told him.

"What? I'm not!" he exclaimed.

"Yes you are!"

"How? He's not here!"

"Then stop _acting_ like it!"

"Bella," Rosalie cut in. "That doesn't make any sense."

I rolled my eyes. "With Emmett it certainly does!"

Emmett stared suspiciously at me, and then his eyes widened as he understood. Edward sighed behind me, sounding very tired.

Emmett grinned at me. "What's the matter, Bella?"

"Nothing!" I muttered

"Oh, are you sure? Edward, she's been kind of down lately, do you think it's because …" He let the sentence hang for everyone to understand.

I heard Kate giggle somewhere, and I swore I would kill her, even if I couldn't.

"Emmett, she's a newborn," Jasper stated, but he didn't sound worried as he would have before, when newborn had been a swear-word to him. "She could take you out in a second."

"Oh really?" Emmett asked. "Then why hasn't she? Even before, she didn't, right, little sister? You're too worried about me to really harm me. Your threads will never become more than that – threads. You're too weak to stand up for yourself, aren't you?" His eyes glistened while Edward's hands clenched around my arms. It didn't hurt, it was a bit irritating at the most. "Or maybe you're legendary newborn powers have worn off?"

"Shut … up … Emmett!" I gasped, growling. He only laughed at that. Rosalie smiled. What, did nobody take me serious? "Edward … Let … go … of … me … now … please …" I uttered through gritted teeth, staring at Emmett, trying very hard to focus only on him and not Rosalie's and Kate's giggles.

Edward cautiously let me go, and as soon as he did, I was in the other end of the room, the movement never happening.

"Bella!" Tanya called. "Bella, that's an antique – thank you, Carmen." She gave a sigh of relief as Carmen quickly removed the vase we were about to break.

I finally got a good grab around Emmett's arms, pitching him to the floor.

"I won!" I stated simply, getting to my feet. I walked away, trying to ignore his insults. When I reached the door, I turned around to stick my tongue out at him.

"Kate," I mused, dancing to the door. "Do you want to go hunting?"

Kate raised an eyebrow at me before nodding. Edward must understand that I wanted to talk with Kate alone.

She didn't ask before we were at least three miles away – outside Edward's "hearing range".

"What is it, Bella? Want me to help take down Emmett? Are we gonna _ensnare_ him? Gonna _trick_ him into coming out of the house? Don't worry, I won't shock him too much! I'll let you have some fun, too." She snickered.

I rolled my eyes. "Not you, too," I sighed. "No, that's not why I asked you to come with me. I _do_ actually need to hunt."

"You could have gone with Edward. Or Alice."

I cringed. How insightful she was.

"Okay, okay," I murmured. "I asked you because I want you to start training with me again."

"Really?" Kate asked, suddenly urgent. It was almost as if she had missed our training.

"Yea," I responded, ignoring the eagerness in her voice. "The whole werewolf Volturi thing made me think a lot about it, and I'm still not good enough with it. I can't get it further than about five meters. That's not good enough, Kate! It's not enough to protect my family!"

"Easy, Bella. Time is the key. And practice, of course." She grinned at me.

"Do you think Tanya will go again?" I asked cautiously.

She grinned wider at me. "Oh, I think we can find an even better – and more willing – Guiney pick than her."

"Really?" I narrowed my eyes and thought about capturing a wolf. "Who?"

She shrugged. "You'll see. Now, shall we get hunted some?"

She was off before I could respond.

-

I looked up from my prey when I heard him come. I looked at Kate who just shrugged. I was a bit angry that I still wasn't good at eating without muffling up my hair and my clothes.

I cocked my head to the side as he came. He stopped a few trees to our left.

"What is it?" I asked. A first I'd been worried about who it was, but after realizing it was neither Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle or Eleazar, I figured it must be Garrett. I hadn't really heard him run much, and this run was different. Urgent and rough.

"Hi," he greeted as he came towards us. "I was just wondering if something had happened. You've been away for the whole day."

I shrugged. So we'd enjoyed having the danger of a Volturi taken away from over our heads, was something wrong with using our freedom?

Kate laughed for some unknown reason.

I gritted my teeth. "You could have just asked Alice."

He looked away, as if he seemed rueful, yet smug.

"Relax, Bella," Kate requested, rolling her eyes. "He didn't do anything wrong."

Seeing my sister's grin and the way she laughed at Garrett for no apparent reason made my eyes wander from her to the object of her actions. Garrett smiled back at her, his eyes glistening with some strange curiosity.

"Kate," I called, not sure if it was possible to call her back to reality.

"Oh, Bella, right," she responded, turning back to me. I took in a deep breath. "I would like to suggest Garrett as our Guiney pig."

"What?" Garrett and I asked synchronized.

"Bella would like to practice her shield, which means me shocking you," Kate answered, waving her hand at him.

I didn't understand what was going on at all. They never acted like this in the house. Well, actually, I wasn't sure they'd spend much time together.

"Really?" Garrett mused. "How can I say no to helping dear Bella?" He grinned at me.

"What´s going on?" I asked cautiously.

Kate shook her head, laughing. "You know how Garrett likes new challenges, right?" I nodded. "Well, he found out about my gift, and he's been begging for me to shock him ever since."

I raised an eyebrow. "I'm surprised you haven't done it."

She shrugged and chuckled.

Garrett smiled. "I've heard of this power that can lay a vampire on his back! To imagine that I get to feel this on my own body!"

"It hurts," I muttered.

"Oh, how can you know?" Kate asked, rolling her eyes.

I ignored that. "Well, it does, right?"

She shrugged it off, and I knew the answer.

"Should we get back then?" I asked. "Before the whole family comes to look for us."

"Sure," Garrett answered, smiling wider.

I shot a glance at Kate. She was different – a good different. She looked at Garrett in a way that told me she'd soon understand me much better than before.

-

Please review ^^

And there was a little Kate/Garrett in this chapter, as you've been asking for for so long! You guys were almost as urgent as when it came to getting Edward in to the picture xD

Thank you for 600 (615) reviews!

Love

Dawn


	35. Auther's Note

I'm sooooooo sorry for not updating, and I was planning to write it tonight, but then I ran into a writer's block. I suddenly felt like nothing I wrote was good enough, and the need to rewrite everything just came over me! I suddenly hated ever word ever written in Newborn – I still do – and so, the story will make a twist, when I finally get on with it. The way I write it will change a bit, if not much. I don't know how, but I know that these emotions will have an inflict.

Of course I won't rewrite everything, though I want to. But this feeling is dangerous – it's feelings like that that make you stop writing a story. Right now I'm in the state of writer's block called _self-loathing_ and _hopelessness_. There is one plus, though – I'm more up for writing my own stories now – though it is also depressing to me that I cannot write them in English.

Anyhow; I'm sorry for being such a depressed person! And I'm sorry that you have to bear with me. But I just don't feel as good enough a writer to continue the story right now. SO sorry! You can't even begin to imagine! Argh!

It's a real dangerous thing – reading other stories. You need it for inspiration and to develop your own writing and such, but it's damn dangerous because feelings as though I am in right now can come over you. *Sigh*

I'll try to get over it as fast as possible, but I can't guarantee _anything_.

Dawn


	36. Chapter 35

I'm sorry for taking so long. I really am. And thank you for your kind support; I am very grateful for your patience. I hope to get some good stuff written down now :) And I hope I can improve.

And I know I don't say this enough, so all of you: THANKS FOR ALL OF YOUR WONDERFUL REVIEWS!

Now for some WONDERFUL news!

I'VE GOTTEN ACCEPTED INTO A SCHOOL FOR YOUNG WRITERS FOR A WEEK IN THE SUMMER HOLIDAY! WOOOOOOO!

---

MORE THAN SISTER AND BROTHER

Even though the meeting with Fredric had went well, I was still feeling a bit frightened. Practically nothing had brought us to the Volturi's attention, so when would they turn toward us again? We had to be careful not to put their eye on us. I remembered the story of Tanya's mother too clearly.

On the contrary, I was still blissful that nothing further had happened.

I was training with Kate and Garrett now, and I was surprised at how Garrett reacted to Kate's shocking. Tanya had always cringed; I'd known she hated it. And though part of Garrett reacted the same way as Tanya, part of him also found it fascinating, and I thought he probably would be the one other vampire than myself who could endure her powers – him because of sheer willpower, me because of my shield.

I had an even better grasp of that very same shield now, though it would still occasionally slip. I didn't understand why, and I hated that. Something was blocking me, and it didn't help that everyone was cheering me on and telling me that I was so great. I couldn't feel it myself.

It was snowing in a thick layer as Edward, Alice and I ran through the forest. I knew Edward was a bit annoyed with Alice for tagging along, but I was glad. I felt like I didn't see her enough, what with my shield training and being away for so long, and I feared I might have to go shopping with her soon.

"Alice," I asked on a wimp. A sudden curiosity had hit me. I saw Edward peek at me from the corner of my eye. He looked at me as if I was some great mystery.

"We gamble," Alice said, stopping to look at me with bright eyes.

I was still getting used to Alice always knowing one's question before spoken – or maybe she was the kind of person you never got used to. I feared it was the latter.

Then I moved my mind to her answer. I'd been meaning to ask how my family was so rich. Of course, it made sense for a family that has a talented doctor and a housedecorator for parents to be rich, but I'd noticed that money meant very little to them, so I'd figured there was more to it. I hadn't considered my psychic sisters ability to predict the lottery.

"Where do you go?" I asked.

"When we don't do the usual and buy lottery tickets, Alice loves to go to Las Vegas," Edward said, rolling his eyes.

I narrowed my eyes and smiled. "And would I be mistaken if not you were, too, intrigued by Las Vegas' many faculties?"

He chuckled. "You're not wrong," he assured me.

"Bella," Alice suddenly said in a serene tone. I looked at her to find her eyes glowing strangely.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Alice," Edward told her.

"Oh, drop it right there, you want to."

"Want to what?" I asked.

"Bella, don't you want to go to Vegas?" Alice asked.

"Why does that sound like some lame line from a movie?" I asked.

"Is that a 'no'?"

"A clear one."

Her eyes widened. "But _Bella_ …" The way she stretched my name out made her sound like a four-year-old. Dang. It was working.

"I don't feel like it, Alice," I told her. Besides, we don't exactly need money right now, do we?"

"You do know that can be arranged, right?" my sister asked sneakily. There's a lot of really expensive designer's clothes I want, and maybe a new car, and you don't have one, either, so we should get you one. And if I'm getting new clothes, everyone else should. We could also give money away out of generosity –"

"I get it, Alice, but please don't make me," I cut her off.

"Why don't you want to?" she asked pleadingly. Somewhere in her eyes, I could see she feared it had something to do with her.

I sighed. "I just want to get that shield thing right first. Then maybe – _maybe_ – we can go to Vegas."

"Yay!" Alice sang. I knew that in her mind, the future was, literally, already made up. "Emmett's going to be so happy. He'll force you into a contest of who can win most money."

"Wait!" I squeaked. "Did you already talk with him?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course not, Bella. Jeez, you're such a drama queen."

"But then how do you know?" I asked.

She smiled. "It's a brother-sister thing. I'm supposed to know stuff like that."

"Huh," was all I could respond. I felt like I should say more, but nothing came to mind. "Uhm. Let's hunt." Alice and Edward nodded, and they were just about to focus on the hunt, when I remembered something. "By the way, do you two know what's going on with Kate and Garrett?"

Edward and Alice exchanged glances and then looked back at me. The blackness in their eyes were suddenly more noticeable to me.

"What's going on?" I asked, crossing my arms.

Edward hurried to smile when he noticed my nervous words. "It's nothing, love. They're just really happy … Together."

My mind went blank – which was quite a competition for a vampire.

It wasn't that I hadn't considered this possibility, but it just somehow came so suddenly.

Then I smiled. "That's good. Our family is expanding, right?"

Alice smiled back. "It is." But for some reason, neither Edward nor her held the happy expressions for long.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Edward grasped my hand and nudged it. "It's just that we can't stay so many together for so long. The Cullens will have to … Leave, soon."

It took me less than one eight of a second to realize why they'd hesitated with this information, and why it tormented them.

"This will lead to some sort of choice from my side, right?" I mumbled.

Edward squeezed my hand. "You have all the time you need."

He pulled me along, but as we hunted my mind was elsewhere.

He couldn't possibly have any doubts about my choice, of course, it was so obvious, no one could be expecting anything else. I knew that my choice would cause that I would be separated from part of my family again, but time was an abstract thing for a vampire. All I really needed was Edward. He was the one thing that I couldn't exist without – I wouldn't be whole.

And it wouldn't be goodbye, either. We'd see each other again, probably soon. And Kate wouldn't get very sad now that she had Garrett, neither Irina, she had Laurent.

I was happy about that.

But there was one person who was still alone, and it worried me. Tanya might look fine, but I was pretty sure she wasn't. She'd been through so much – me having Edward, leaving the family, meeting Garrett. I didn't know whether she'd ever had any romantic hopes or expectations about Garrett, but I couldn't tell. If she had, she would be hurting even more.

I sensed I had to talk out with my sister before the Cullens left. But there was still time.

-

"Come on, Bella!" Emmett pleaded for the hundredth time within a minute. His big hands were clawed around my shoulders, shaking me back and forth. I knew I could break free, but that would just make him even more aggressive. Besides, if I was lucky, Edward would come by.

"Emmett, I don't –"

"Just do it, Bella," Rosalie sighed. "It'll make it easier for all of us. And besides, it'll be fun."

I looked into her sincere eyes, and she winked. She was probably right, but the thought of competing with Emmett didn't exactly appeal to me.

For once he'd thought up something that didn't involve limbs being detached from the rest of the body, and instead he'd suggested that we'd hold our own little competition involving all kinds of sports – like the Olympics.

"Fine, fine," I muttered.

"Victory!" Emmett announced and ran off.

"What victory?" Rosalie asked no one and shook her head. Then she shot me an apologetic smile.

I followed her outside, and I could see that Emmett was already running off to the place we'd played baseball so long time ago, it seemed like decades.

"Let's go," Rosalie said and grabbed my arm to tug me along.

-

The field looked just as usually except for a few changes; there was now something looking an awful lot like those stripes that makes out running fields, going around in an ellipse.

In the middle of the field there were two tall, naked trees, that had obviously been pulled out of the ground to be put there, which held up another smaller tree.

Around the field, in the corners, a baseball field was set up.

"He's got too much free time," I murmured, and Rosalie laughed.

"I've tried to make him use his energy on other stuff, but he doesn't seem to listen to me," she said. She looked at the baseball field. "Maybe we'll be on the same team." Then she ran off to attack Emmett from behind with a soft kiss on his neck.

"Finally." His soft murmur caressed my ear, and my head swam. His arms closed around me, and he placed his lips at my ear. "I was beginning to worry you might refuse to come."

Despite the glory I felt within, I put on a pout. "You knew!"

I felt him shrug.

"You could have stopped them!" I accused.

"Yes, but I didn't," he chuckled. "Don't be mad at me."

I sighed, knowing that it was an impossibility. "Fine. Let's get this thing over with."

"Gotcha," he agreed. "Though I think Emmett won't be all excited about that. He may drag this out for days."

"Yuck," I muttered.

"Come on! Game time!" Carlisle called. I noticed that even Esme was playing, so I gave in.

"We're coming!" Edward said, but of course it was loud enough for them to hear.

We were with them within two seconds. I looked to the other end of the field. It was long enough that it may take me thirty seconds to get to the other end. To me, that was a long time.

"Since we're an uneven number, whichever team that have the Newborn should be outnumbered," Jasper teased. I scowled at him, and he grinned. I was glad that he liked me better now. When I'd asked Edward why he'd suddenly changed his opinion, he'd said that of course Jasper had always liked me, he'd just been cautious. But when Edward and I left, Alice was a wreck – I hated myself for doing that to my beloved sister – and Jasper felt helpless. All the others were feeling bad, too, and Edward explained to me, that Jasper's gift to affect other people's moods also had a backside to it – he was affected by the environment he was in, so he was feeling somewhat more sad than everyone else, because everyone's sadness was also his. It was different than Edward's ability – Edward could block people out. With Jasper, it was something physical, so he couldn't just ignore it.

And so, when Edward and I came back, and everyone was happy, when Alice got that little vision that we were coming, he'd already unconsciously changed his opinion of me. Edward said that where he liked me before, he now loved me as the sister I had become. I felt kind of guilty that I hadn't earned it on my own.

"I'm on the opposite team of Bella," Emmett said. He winked at me and rested his hands at his sides. "Little sis is going down."

I knew it was childish, but I stuck my tongue out at him. "Like I'm gonna let you!" I spat at him.

He grinned wider. "Someday your newborn powers are gone, lil sis, and then you'll be humiliated so much your cheeks will blush!"

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous," she murmured.

"Let's get the teams straight," Eleazar suggested.

As Carlisle began to divide the teams, I thought about Emmett's words. Blush. I couldn't do that anymore, and the memories of how it felt like was so blurry. I remembered vaguely that I'd done it a lot.

Then I tried to remember the things that had made me blush, at least in general, but nothing came to mind. Terrified, I forced myself to recall my mother's face, but also she was like looking through water. Had I lost my human memories?

"Bella, are you coming?" Alice called.

"Huh?" I turned to see the rest of my family scattered across the baseball field, which was obviously going to be the first activity. Alice and Edward waited for me, and I hurried to Edward's side. Alice parted from us to go into the field with her team.

"Okay," Jasper said enthusiastically, "let's play some ball!"

-

We played several games and sports, many of them more than one time. The two trees holding up another tree trunk functioned as a goal to jump over.

To my surprise, it was fun. I won many of the games, and I got to be with my family.

And I got to watch Kate and Garrett.

It was clear to me now that they more than enjoyed each other's company. They teased each other, laughed with each other, found themselves suddenly standing still and talking while the games continued, until someone called them. It was a lucky thing they were on different teams.

I thought about the match, and I decided they fit each other maybe just as well as Edward fit me. They both had adventurous spirits, and they were compassionate, stubborn and strong.

I was wearing a wide grin as the first day of our Vampire Olympics passed to an end and the night began.

---

Please review :)

Dawn


	37. Chapter 36

Yay! A new chapter! Wuhu! I finally got this and the newest chapter of Winternight written! I feel like I've actually accomplished something with my holiday xD

Anyway, thanks for all the wonderful reviews! We're almost up at 700 reviews now! I_I And there keeps coming new ones. Well, keep it up! Remember, there's cake ( or Brownies ;) ) if you do!

Well, here's the 36th chapter! xD

ENGAGEMENT

"We _powned_ you!" Emmett declared, grinning and grabbing Edward and Jasper by the shoulders. They both rolled their eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Jasper asked, bashing his ribs. "We got you good! Didn't you see Bella leap like fifty meters in the air?"

I felt like blushing.

"Bella's a newborn. That doesn't count!" Emmet discarded and called to me: "But you didn't seem all up for it, huh, Bella? Someone getting weak? Getting tired? You need some rest now, huh? Little Bella's not active enough, she needs some training, or she can't do it."

I gritted my teeth. So he'd noticed, huh?

That had been when I'd noticed, too. I'd become pretty content with my powers as a newborn, and I was somewhat able to control them.

But during our little game, I'd noticed that my strength was weakening. What did this mean? I didn't really remember how long it was since I'd become a vampire, but it probably wouldn't be wrong to guess nine months. The weather was turning into the wet and cold I hated and that I'd detested Forks for.

Just remembering the little, rainy city made it ache where it shouldn't be able to ache anymore. I hadn't thought of my family much, and now I realized yet again that I was losing my memories, now knowing that it was too late to reminisce them. I'd forgotten too much, they could never become whole. I was even more saddened that I remembered Phil more than I remembered my actual dad.

I cut off a tearless cry and looked straight forward as we all moved out of the field. It had been fun. Undoubtedly one of my funniest moments yet.

"They're crazy," Rosalie stated beside me and sighed. "It's too bad we love them."

I turned my eyes toward her and found her smiling at me, and she was so beautiful and dazzling that it was hard not to smile back.

"We did win, though," she clarified, and I rolled my eyes.

"You were more!" Kate shouted behind us.

"Bella's a newborn," Emmett called back. "It's the only fair way."

"You'd say the same if you were on the losing team!"

"I'd never be on the losing team!"

"I say that it was rather clear who won," Garrett stated arrogantly, and I turned to see him smiling at Kate, who stuck a childish face at him.

"I agree. Us!"

"Based on what, your imagination?" he teased, picking at her forehead.

She tried to grab his hand, and I could imagine what kind of attack she had in mind, but Garrett evaded her easily, all the while laughing.

I smiled and turned around again, feeling that what was going on between them were too private for me to watch.

I felt something wrap its way around my waist, and I looked up to see Edward looking back at me with warm, liquid eyes. He bend down and kissed me. I caught my breathe and enjoyed the moment as much as I could. Every second with him was to be treasured and memorized. I was losing my other memories; I wouldn't lose a single one of him.

"Get a room!" Emmett shouted. I turned my head and stuck my tongue at him. He grinned back and winked at me.

We continued back to the house in a slow tempo. We continued discussing and fighting over the past few days for a long time, clapping the shoulders of our teammates and dashing to our rival's shoulders, arms and ribs.

"We should probably hunt," Carlisle said at some point, and we all agreed to continue our fight and go hunt together. We hadn't hunted for about five days, and after all the energy we'd used up, we needed to.

"If a human walked in now," Laurent muttered, and Garrett nodded in agreement.

"Though I'm becoming more and more used to this way of living," he noted.

We ran into the forest then, spreading a bid, but always near each other.

Edward and I ran by ourselves, looking for a prey. Edward didn't seem in such a high spirit.

"What's wrong, Edward?" I asked.

"There's no mountain lions," he responded.

I looked at him for a moment before I burst into laughter.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Nothing," I answered as I ran into a tree, fell to the ground on the other side and got up, having probably totally ruined my clothes. "It's just a bit hilarious to me."

He rolled his eyes at me before reaching out for my arm and forcefully dropping himself – and me – to the ground. He rolled over so I lay on top of him, but I didn't move.

I kissed him urgently and he responded happily, placing his hands loosely around my waist.

"You know, it can't be a good sign that we always end up like this," I laughed.

"Rosalie end Emmett took a good ten years before they stopped being cocky. I guess we can take our time."

I raised my eyebrows. Ten years.

I thought about ten years of distractions like this and found it a light future.

We returned to our actual goal before we could get too much off the trail. I wondered about the mountain lion and thought that Edward probably missed Forks a great deal.

He suddenly fell very silent, and he go that look in his eyes, that told me he was listening to someone's thoughts, and that he found it interesting.

Then he grinned widely and looked at me with sparkling eyes, as if he saw something I didn't.

"What?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing," he answered with a light chuckle.

I scowled at him and pretended to hold a grudge, though it was hard. Who could ever hold a grudge toward him?

-

Emmett naturally claimed to be the single victor to the challenge, though we'd never really agreed on a challenge.

"My prey was _definitely_ bigger than Jasper's!" he stated, and he and Jasper got in to a fight, that Alice tried not to become a part of.

I smiled as I watched them, glad that, for once, Emmett was fighting someone else, but I was interrupted by my father's voice:

"Edward."

Both Edward and I turned a bit to see Carlisle walk beside Edward.

"I know," Edward answered. Two seconds passed. "Fine, but we have to wait just a little while longer." Carlisle raised his eyebrows. "No," Edward responded. Carlisle's eyes flickered shortly toward me. "I will."

Carlisle nodded and then left us.

"What was that?" I asked.

Edward's face was as set in stone. I could tell he was upset over something.

He shook his head and responded as I'd expected:

"Nothing."

-

"You heard it, right?"

I turned to see Alice coming walking towards us. Edward and I were training my shield. I was trying to pull my shield away so that he could read my thoughts.

"Heard what?" I asked, though I knew it was a question directed at Edward.

She ignored me.

"Yea, I heard it," Edward answered, and Alice's face beamed. "But you already knew that."

"It's so nice," she laughed, and winked at me. I had no idea what was going on. "Good luck."

She turned and dance toward the house. I looked at Edward, who was positively glaring at the little body moving away from us.

"What is it you aren't telling me?" I asked.

Edward sighed and looked at me with defeat in his eyes. He looked very tired. It was something I'd never seen on him before, this glint in his eyes. For the first time I comprehended how much older he was than me.

"The humans are starting to notice us," he told me.

"Notice us? What do you mean, we stay here all the time," I said.

"They have their times of being observant. They've noticed that we're different and that we're many. Some of us will have to leave."

His eyes bored coldly into mine, waiting for me to understand.

"Oh," I murmured, thinking his words over. "_Oh_!"

He meant the Cullens. They had to leave.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

He raised his eyebrow, but I saw something looking much like relief in his eyes. I didn't understand him at all.

"You're coming with us?" he asked.

I stared at him blankly. "Of course I am. Don't you want me to?" Fear shot through me for a short second, but he shot the thought down before it really began to fly.

"No, I just …" He looked at the ground. "I thought you might want to stay with your sisters."

"Edward, don't be silly," I said seriously, letting a gush of air out of my lungs. "Alice and Rosalie are my sisters, too, and Esme and Carlisle are my parents, just like they're yours. And Jasper and Emmett are my brothers."

"But what about the Denali?" he asked.

"It's not like I won't see them again," I said, though I did feel a bit awe with the thought of leaving them. I put my head against his chest and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Besides, I don't think I can bear being away from you." The last part came out in a whisper, and he bowed his head towards mine, resting his lips upon my forehead.

"I don't think I can bear being away from you, either," he murmured against my skin, and I closed my eyes as if I were asleep.

We sat like that for a little while, before Carmen came out to get us inside. "Kate and Garrett have something to tell us."

I looked at her for an explanation, but she seemed as oblivious as I. We both turned to Edward, who shrugged. I didn't dig further into the subject. I would know soon.

But it bothered me that he wouldn't tell me …

Everyone in my family was in the room, gathered in a circle around Kate and Garrett.

Edward, Carmen and I went to stand beside Eleazar. Alice danced to my side instantly.

Garrett nodded. "Good. Everyone's here now."

"What is it, Kate?" Tanya asked.

"Some of you already know, so we won't delay it," Kate answered and winked at Edward and Alice.

"We're getting married," Garrett finished.

Silence only took over the room for a second, and then everyone burst into congratulations with smiles so wide it was scary.

I was happy that Kate had finally found the one that could make her as happy as Edward made me. We wouldn't lose each other. Maybe we were now even closer than before.

"I'm so happy for you," I murmured to her hours later when we sat outside. Garrett was getting introduced to being a brother in our family by those very brothers. We didn't know where he'd been taken, really, but I thought it might be some sort of weird, pre-bachelor party.

"I'm sort of surprised, you know. I didn't think we'd be the first," she told me cautiously.

"The first? What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well … Edward's always been a gentleman, and I'm wondering why he hasn't gone on one knee and asked you to marry him already, but I guess he has his reasons," she answered.

That struck me.

I'd never considered marriage as something vampires could do, so I hadn't given it any thought, but now Kate was putting scenarios in my head, scenarios that were too appealing.

Me in a beautiful, white dress, and Edward in a tuxedo, standing at the altar. It was a picture that was now forged into my mind.

When my brothers and Edward returned, I hoped Kate wasn't thinking about what she'd said.

-

We'd come back when it was time for the marriage, but now it was time to leave, and we were ready to say our goodbyes. I was sad about the thought of not seeing them all the time, but I was also looking forward to having more quiet around me – though that sounded sort of impossible considering we had Emmett. They'd probably get more quiet than we would.

We'd go to Chicago where the Cullens already had a house that only needed to get new furniture and then it would be ready. Alice and Esme would have a lot of fun with that.

I was looking forward to our new home.

So it was with a feeling of joy that I ran across the country with the people I loved – my family.

---

Oh God are these twilight chapters of mine not becoming a bit sentimental? Seriously xD But that's the style in the books, and I should stay with that, but it becomes so cocky xD

Well, after this there will be Jacob chapters. Not one, not two, but THREE! In a row. So say your goodbyes to Bella and Edward and all the other fellas 'cause we're going to the nightmarish place called: the wolve's territory! Ugh. It smells there – as Bella noted back in one of the first chapters xD

Yea, so that was about what I wanted to say xD Please tell me if I should make it less cocky! . It's so pink you can't see straight!

Oh, and I'm going to writer's school in a two weeks! On Friday I'm going to Italy, and I'm taking my new labtop – on which this newest chapter is written :D – with me, so I can lay at the pool and write and sunbathe at the freakin' SAME TIME! WUHU! So I should probably get a chapter written there.

Uhm … Yea, THAT was it xD

Dawn


	38. Chapter 37

Hey everybody! Thank you for all of your great reviews, I'm so happy to receive them! Let's see if we can hit a thousand reviews before the story ends, shall we? :D Y'know, I've really been cutting the chapters down, so each chapter will be longer, have more plot and character development, and I'll be finished sooner. The same goes for Winternight, which will also soon be finished.

This also means that instead of getting three Jacob chapters, you get ONE! Wow, that's a lot better for all you team Edwards – I'm counting on that it's either team Edward or team Switzerland that's reading my stories.

Anyway, since this will all be over soon – sounds like a threat – you should enjoy these last chapters, since I won't be doing more chapter stories for Twilight. I might do some oneshots, since I have some ideas for that, so stay tuned, but don't look out for big things like Newborn again from my side, not for Twilight, anyway. There MIGHT – just MIGHT – come a sequel to Newborn, but I'm not sure, especially because it reminds a bit of Winternight. Originally, the sequel to Newborn could only exist because Winternight might not, but I don't know. The plot for the sequel isn't quite the same as it was before.

Anyway, I'm babbling, as you see, so just read the chapter and enjoy :) The plot will finally begin! xD How typical this is for the Twilight saga.

-

That's-God-damn-unpleasant

_Jacob? Jacob. Finally – No! No, Jacob don't you phase on me! _Jacob_!_

_What is it, Leah?_

_Geez, Jacob, what does a girl have to do to get your attention around here?_

_If you don't have anything important to say, I'm – _

_Look, Jacob, I know where you are, and I'm just gonna hunt you down. You can't run from me in human form. Even in wolf form, you get –_

_It's tie._

_Whatever._

_Look, Leah, what do you want from me?_

_I want you to act as a leader. You're our Alpha, man! Take a decision, will you?_

_It's not that easy._

_On the contrary! We've already decided what we want. Travel north, hunt them down, burn their limbs, through Bella Swan's body in the ocean five different places and then go home to eat some hot dogs._

_Don't be so colorful!_ I growled and shook my head. The pictures of the girl I'd known as a child, now in her vampire form, ripped apart, thrown in the ocean …

_Jacob, we know you're a bit sensitive about this, but she _killed our Alpha_! She killed Sam!_ I could feel all the sadness pressed up behind the charade she was trying to pull, but she couldn't fool me. _You ordered us not to kill her, and we didn't, but do you have any idea what it's doing to us? You're the worst Alpha ever!_

_Thank you, Leah, so I'm a bad leader because I won't let you kill an innocent girl._

_Innocent? Are you sane, Jacob Black? She killed Sam!_ She whimpered. _She's _not_ innocent!_

_I knew Bella back when we were little! She would never do anything like that! She didn't choose herself to be a vampire. Someone made her._

_But no matter how you turn this around, she's still a vampire, and she killed. The girl you knew is gone. She doesn't exist anymore. There's just a bloodthirsty creature now, and it's our job to kill her._

_You don't know what you're talking about._ I was at the edge of the forest now, and I phased before she could say anymore. I took on the jeans I'd wrapped around my leg, and then I ran toward my house. Leah couldn't come out of the forest as wolf, so she'd have to phase.

The little run didn't even get my pulse up. I opened the door and walked inside with a pleasant hello to Billy and Charlie, Bella's dad. He was spending a lot of time with Billy nowadays.

I wondered if she knew what she'd done to her old man. What he was suffering. Losing his only child, the only thing he had left … I shuddered.

It was like Emily. Seeing her lose Sam … It had made me really want to kill Bella and her precious vampires. I'd almost given the order.

But something stopped me. She was Charlie's daughter, she was someone I knew …

I stood in the kitchen for a little while, staring at the magnets on the refrigerator, when Leah barged in the door.

"Jacob, you can't just ignore this! Bella's the reason –"

She froze. Her eyes had just caught on to Charlie, who had turned around at the name of his lost daughter. I could see Billy's neck stiffen.

"Bella?" Charlie asked.

"Yea," I mumbled. "She's someone we know." I sent Leah a dark glare. She glared back.

"Right," she muttered. "Jacob, can I speak with you outside?"

I saw Charlie turn around with a suspicious look in his face, but he was probably too tired of disappointment at this point to try and find out anything anymore.

Before I could answer, Leah grabbed my arm and dragged me outside. Dang she's strong.

"Okay, listen, Jacob!" she growled. "You have to stand up for what happened! You owe it to Emily! Do you remember her? The girl who lost the meaning of life because of that little vampire bitch! So get your whiny little butt to it and give the order!"

I sighed. "I can't Leah. It's wrong."

"The only thing wrong here is you being the Alpha!" Leah shrieked. A vein pulsed in her forehead, and I could tell she was fighting not to scream at me.

"Look, Leah, I can't explain it, but …" I put my hands on her shoulders, which I decided never to do again.

She snapped. Right in front of my house, right where Charlie might see us, right where _anybody_ might see us.

I hurried to let the fire spread within myself. I heard the clothes being shred to pieces as I turned and began running towards the forest.

She was right behind me, digging her paws deep into the ground as she followed.

As soon as we were safely in the forest, I turned around and tried to shout at her, but she collapsed with me in an instant and was trying to get to my throat, so I had no other choice but to fight her.

Leah was my equal. No one else could stand up to me like her. She might be smaller than all of us, but she was agile, persistent and stubborn, and those were her strongest weapons against any of us. Besides, she wasn't exactly weak.

Her paw cut through the air towards me, but I grabbed it with my teeth and forced it to the ground. I jumped back and placed myself firmly before she attacked, and then I tried to get my claws around her, and pin her to the ground.

She growled and snarled like a grizzly, and I could tell from her thoughts that she was just as furious as one that had just been awakened from its slumber.

_Cut it out, Leah!_

She didn't listen. She got free and snapped at me before I could get out of the way. I couldn't hurt her. I was the Alpha, and it was my responsibility to take care of her.

_I never wanted to be the Alpha!_ I thought, not really meaning for her to hear it or answer or anything.

_You think I care? Sam was a douche, but at least he was a good leader. You're even more of a douche, and you're a rotten leader. You make the math._

Her teeth cut through my fur and skin till I felt something warm run down my side. I growled at her and hit her in the head with my paw as hard as I could. It made her confused for a little while, and she was stumbling. I used it to my advantage and jumped. She was pinned down under me in seconds, and I placed my mouth at her throat, just as a warning.

_My orders stand, Leah! Obey them!_

She didn't growl or try to get free. Instead she whimpered, like she was crying. I realized I was unconsciously using my Alpha command on her. I withdrew from her and sat down calmly, waiting for her to stand up. She didn't.

_Get up, Leah._

She tried to ignore me at first, but she finally began to collect herself.

_I'm sorry for having to do that._

_No you're not._

_I am, and you know it._ She didn't respond. She sat with her back to me, head down. _Am I really that bad a leader?_ I asked.

She sniffed. _You're not all bad, though you're definitely a jerk all the time._

That was when Quil joined us. _Quit being sentimental and come join us quick! There's an emergency at the border!_

We both saw the picture. Emily, lying on the beach, her unharmed half of her face upwards. Her eyes were closed, and she was very pale.

_We're coming!_ I answered quickly, and then we flew through the forest toward the place we used to cliff dive.

-

Everyone was dressed in black. I'd found my last black T-Shirt and a dark pair of jeans. The other wolves were dressed much like myself; in the last belongings they had left in their closet.

Emily had been a touchy subject for a long time, but she wasn't going to be any longer. This would unleash an explosion of voices, and they would all claim one thing: Bella's death.

I dreaded the confrontation, but I knew there was no way around it. Besides, did I really want to get around it? Bella deserved to be punished for what she'd done. Emily had never hurt anyone, but she'd ended up being so hurt herself, that she jumped from the cliff. It was Bella's fault that Emily had lost the will to live.

_Damn bloodsucker!_ I remembered the letter she'd sent me. Even if I decided to give the order, I couldn't know if Bella was with the other vampires. And if she was, we'd tracked them down to a place up north, where they lived together with other vampires. They were many, and their number didn't have an inflict on our number of werewolves when they didn't live near us. They weren't posing a threat to our lands.

"Jacob," Leah called behind me as I was walking away from the graveyard with Billy. I turned to see her and Seth run towards me. "He didn't have a chance to say it before now because … You know." She shook her head. "Anyway, Seth found something."

I could see she'd cried. She wasn't wearing any mascara – Leah almost never did – but knowing her, I could tell. I'd been inside her mind hundreds of times.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You have to come see for yourself," Seth answered. I nodded and let Sue take care of Billy. She was spending a lot of time with us lately, after Harry died. She'd started to see Charlie a lot, too. That was good. Maybe, then, I wouldn't feel as conscious about it if I was forced to kill his daughter.

We gathered the other wolves, and then Seth led us to the eastern edge of our territory. I couldn't make much out of his confusing thoughts, maybe because he was confused, too. All I could understand was something with a stone.

Then the stink hit me.

_Vampires!_

_Bloodsuckers!_

_Parasites!_

Bloodlust stood out all around me.

_Calm,_ I cautioned.

_Here._

Seth stopped in front of a big stone, and we all observed the letters on it.

Wolves

I am a vampire

I wish to speak with you about a certain brunette.

I will be here in three days. Be there if you want to talk business.

I will bring two guards with me.

_What is this?_ Leah growled.

_A certain brunette? I think we all know who this bloodsucker means._ Embry groaned.

Bella's face repeated several times, everyone seeing her with those orange-golden eyes. I saw her with the chocolate brown ones that she'd had before.

_Jacob ..._ Quil called.

_We'll talk with her. Bella and the Cullens have done enough damage._

-

"I'm glad you finally decided to get the Bella-problem out of the way," Leah said to me as we walked side by side. She was watching the sky as snow fell from it. Winter was beginning. "But we still have one last problem."

I sighed. "I know."

"It's even bigger than Bella."

"Then how come you were only persistent about the Bella-issue?" I asked her.

"Because you hadn't decided about that one yet. Besides, we don't know who our run-away is. We know who Bella is," Leah answered.

"You're so perceptive."

She groaned.

"Anyway, I'm hoping we'll find out who the bloodsucker is soon," I told her. "But we've followed the scent many times now."

She nodded. "It always gets away. Damn ocean."

In the past many weeks, a vampire had been ravaging our lands and further around in the cities nearby. It wasn't normal for a vampire to be a place for so long, and we'd tried to catch it several times, but it was good at running away.

"Many people's lives are at stake," Leah muttered. "We can't have the police get into this."

I nodded.

She patted my shoulder. "See ya, Jakie."

"See ya, Leah." I stopped to watch her run off before I continued towards my home.

-

"Ugh, that really smells bad," Quil groaned and wrinkled his nose.

"Bear with it," I told him. He shrugged and tried to look normal.

"There they are." Leah pointed to a cliff nearby.

As the information had said, there were three of them. The one at the left was beautiful with black, wavering hair. His crimson eyes were visible even so far away.

The one on the right had brown hair, she was also beautiful, and her eyes also reached us like she stood right in front of us.

The one in the middle was without a doubt the leader, and the one who had written on the stone. Her skin was as pale as expected, and she was beautiful in a catlike fashion. She had long, wavering red hair that looked like flames.

"Greetings, wolves," she said in an edgy voice. "I'm Victoria, and these two are Caspian and Gabrielle."

"I am Jacob Black," I responded. "These are Leah and Quil. Those behind us," I pointed backwards towards the wolves hidden in the shadows of the trees, "are my pack. What do you want?"

"We want to talk about the establishment of an alliance," Victoria replied.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because we would both be interested in the achievement."

I already knew, but I had to ask: "And what would that achievement be." I narrowed my eyes as a smile, that looked like the one of a tiger that just hunt down its prey, spread across her face.

"The destruction of the vampire Bella, of course," she told us. She was not just talking to me now. She was looking at Leah, Quil and the wolves, too. "Join me, and you will get your revenge."

"What do you mean?" I found it suspicious that she seemed to know so much about our grudge towards Bella. Was she someone from the north who knew the Cullens?

"She killed your former Alpha, right?"

"Yes," I confirmed, "but how do you know that."

"I have my sources." She looked back at the others. "So what do you say?"

"One question: Are you the vampire who keeps hunting down the humans around here?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I thought you already knew. It's Bella."

"Bella?" Leah murmured.

"It doesn't smell like Bella," I stated.

"Vampires have their ways of hiding that sort of stuff, if they really want to."

"But why would she want to come here? Her father's here," I said.

"That's exactly why. She wants him," Victoria informed.

"Why would she want him?"

"I don't know, she's psychotic, okay?" She rolled her eyes. "I'm not all knowing. It's not like I'm a mind reader."

"You seem to know quite a bit, though," I muttered.

"Like I said, I have my sources. Besides," she continued, "you know she's already been here before, right?"

I gritted my teeth. We'd all seen Sam's memory of when Bella came here the first time. Had she been out for Charlie, too, then?

"But Bella's with the Cullens. She doesn't hunt people."

"People change course sometimes, right?" She raised an eyebrow. "I heard she left, too."

Bella's letter came to my mind immediately.

_Bloodsucker_, I growled in my mind.

She'd tricked us.

"So what do you say?" Victoria asked. "If you go for Bella, she's sure to bring the Cullens and friends. You're not enough for that. But I have some friends, too."

I turned to Quil, who nodded. Leah agreed, too. I looked at the part of my pack that was in wolf form. They nodded, too. I looked back at Victoria and nooded.

"We agree to this alliance," I said.

Victoria nodded. "That's what I thought. Now, let's hammer out the details."

-

After writing this chapter, my heart opened to a new pairing in the Twilight saga – JacobXLeah. I mean, come on, if it wasn't for Renesmee, they'd TOTALLY be meant for each other! I love Leah, and her and Jacob's character always make the strangest situations and dialogue, whether they're illogical, funny, serious or emotional.

Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed!

Cake or death?

Cake = Reviewing.

Death = … Not reviewing?

In any case, there's cake for those who review ^^ Or ice, since some of you don't like cake. (O_o)

In other words: Please review! ^^ Would make me happy!

Love

Dawn


	39. Chapter 38

This fanfic is now over 100,000 words.

Hey everybody. I KNOW that this is a very bad chapter, I know, I know, don't throw it at me, but I wasn't really in the mood, it's not a chapter with much that happens, and lately I'm sort of getting tired with Edward/Bella. Don't get me wrong, I don't support anyone else, but it's just so … PINK and HAPPY and LOVE that I have a hard time getting Edward's possessive side out correctly. *Sigh* If I ever do any other Twilight fanfics, do NOT think that they will be about Edward/Bella love! If it's even about love, then it'll be about something like Alice/Jasper or Rosalie/Emmett or someone like that … Or totally new characters! *Deep breath*

Anyway, I'll try to be more enthusiastic about the story, and of course write it properly. This chapter is exceptional. Please forgive me.

Chapter 38:

----

NEW MOON

"High School," I murmured as I stared out into the black. Okay, it wasn't really black, just dark shades. My vampire eyes could see everything without exception, as opposed to my old, human eyes. I was used to that by now.

"Does it bother you?" Edward asked. He stood behind me with his arms around my waist. His chin rested on my head, and I turned it backwards to see him.

"Not really, since I never finished High School. I'm just worried about …" I sucked in a breath. "Well, the scents."

"Don't worry, Bella, we'll help you through," Alice promised. "And you're doing really well with your practice. You still have two days left, so it shouldn't be a problem."

The Cullens had been training me in the last three weeks, adapting me to the scent of human blood, so that I could resist in the crowd. They said I could finally go around normally, since my eyes had the golden color that they had, now, and since my newborn powers was no more. Of course, there were still a little bit left, but it was almost all dried up, so they weren't worried about it. Least of all Jasper, for some reason. I figured he was just really happy to no longer have a newborn in the house.

"Right," I murmured.

"Just remember to enjoy your first time going through High School," Rosalie told me from the couch.

Emmett's laugh boomed throughout the room. "Nobody is as annoyed with High School as Rosalie," he told me. I shrugged. I could understand why repeating the same thing over and over would get boring.

I sighed. "I can't say I'm not sort of looking forward to finishing what I started."

"Bella," Alice called. "I've found the perfect jacket for you, but if you're gonna wear it, I have to buy a blouse, too, so you have to choose which one you like the most."

I sighed. She knew how to make me wear the clothes she wanted me to; if she tricked me into choosing it myself, there was no argument.

"Alice, can't we just take some of my other clothes? I'm sure it's –"

"Don't you dare say fine, Bella! Just listen to me! You should just give in like everyone else."

I moaned. She was really hard to argue against.

"Just pick whichever," I gave in, and she let out a victorious battle scream before clicking frantically with the mouse. I watched in horror as my future was decided by this maniac.

"Bella, you might want to go hunting again, since we're going into the city again in a few hours," Alice proposed.

I nodded. "Yea."

Edward made a move to follow me, but Rosalie was already up. "Can I take this one, Edward? Thank you!"

She pushed him aside and took me by the elbow in a rush, and she pulled me out the door so fast that it was hard to object. Edward stared after us with a bewildered look.

"What is it, Rosalie?" I asked.

She turned her face towards me as we ran. "I just thought we haven't exactly had any quality time lately. Have you seen your schedule?"

"No, don't we get that the first day of school?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Cullens," she responded, and I smiled back.

"You and I have Spanish together, so we get to have some time together then, but it's not really the same. We need to spent more time together, Bella."

I smiled. "True, Rose."

The forest around us should be a blur, but I could clearly see it.

We'd only run for a very short time before she started talking again.

"Edward's always been a very masochistic person, just so you know it. He's always been very … melancholic and sad. He was always surrounded by us, happy couples that had found their other part, and he was always surrounded by people's thoughts. On sunny days he'd often take the opportunity to leave and not come back before hours later. Even in his own family he's been an outsider. We always want him with us when we play ball and whatever, but he sometimes decides not to play, to Emmett's disappointment." She rolled her eyes. "He's a real pain, you know. But he's not the one you'd think has the roughest time."

I listened eagerly, enchanted by her words. I knew she was going to tell me something important soon.

She halted to a stop and let go of me. Her steps were heavy as she took a few steps away from me. "He can live with it. He doesn't regret being what he is, though he would probably pick human if he could. But his choice was this or death, and he would have chosen this. Especially now that he has you. He wouldn't become human if he'd lose that.

Don't misunderstand me, Bella, I love Emmett, and I'm satisfied with being a vampire." Her voice was quiet. She'd sat down on a stone and pulled her legs up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them. "But … I miss being human, Bella. I miss it very much. I lost more than you can imagine. You didn't grow up as I did. I'm not telling you this to make you sad, but … I want you to know."

"What is it, Rose?" I asked and sat down on my knees in front of her. I put my hand on her leg and watched her hair that was the only part of her head that I could see.

"Esme was a mother. She had just lost a child, and that's why she jumped off a cliff. Carlisle found her and saved her. She took Edward in as her son, and the same with the rest of us. But I can't do that, Bella. I can't adopt people like that."

"Did you have a child, too, Rose?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No, Bella." She looked up. "But I really wanted one."

Rosalie's story was shocking and sad. I had never imagined that she had lost so much before she became a vampire. So much more than what I had lost. All her dreams and hopes, the child that she'd love already before she'd had it. I tried to comprehend what it was she was telling me about, this unconditionally love, stronger than the one for a lover.

Rosalie's eyes would be filled with tears if she had been human. The heavy feeling was painted thick in her eyes.

"We should hunt now," she murmured. I nodded, not sure what to say. But as we got to our feet, my instinct reacted before I could think about it, and I embraced her. She didn't struggle against my arms. Actually, she laid her arms around me, too.

That was when I realized how much I actually loved Rosalie. I suddenly knew that she would protect me, just like she would have protected this child that had never been born.

"Thank you, Bella," she murmured.

I nodded, feeling that 'you're welcome' wouldn't be quite the right to say.

-

When we came back, a surprise was waiting for us. Our family was waiting out in front of the house, with one addition. James.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"The wolves," Carlisle answered.

"They've teamed up with some Victoria girl. The one Bella knew," Emmett growled.

I stopped beside Rosalie, who looked warily at me.

Just as we thought things could finally be peaceful.

"I went to see Victoria just a few days ago," James said. His smile was dry. "I found out what she was doing."

"Are you going to stay with us?" I asked hopeful. We would need as many as possible.

He shook his head. "No. I'm leaving the continent for good. I just thought I owed to tell you this. Now that I have, I want to leave."

He didn't say anymore before he was already on his way.

"What do we do?" I asked.

"We have to tell the Denali clan what's going on," Carlisle answered. "We also need help against such a big army. They might be willing. Jasper and Alice want to go see if they can find Charlotte and Peter." I nodded. Charlotte and Peter were two of Jasper's old friends, from the south. They were nomads. "But the rest of us are going to the Denali clan."

I had a feeling something was wrong. We'd expected the wolves to take revenge for what had happened, for what I'd done, but the fact that they were teaming up with a vampire like Victoria was a strange sign. Something had to be wrong.

That's why I went to Emmett and Rosalie to ask for their help.

They agreed, even though Edward wasn't much for the arrangement.

"I'm coming with you," he said firmly.

"No, Edward, this is something _I_ have to do, without you. I can't have you in danger like that."

"What about me?" he asked. "I can't have you in danger, either."

"Well, you're just going to have to accept it!" I growled.

His eyes burned. "I am not letting you go alone."

"For your information, Emmett and Rosalie are coming with me!" I answered. "And you can't tell me what to do!"

For a minute, I thought he might take advantage that I was no longer a newborn, but he finally sighed and respected my choice.

And so, the Cullens were separated for the I-don't-know-what-time.

------

Thank you guys for all of your reviews. Please review again :)

Love

Dawn


	40. Chapter 39

I am really, really, really, really sorrry for not updating for so long! SORRY! There's just been so much, and I haven't been in the mood for Newborn, and I didn't want to give you another crappy chapter! So I waited till I felt like it again. I know it's annoying to follow a story that updates so rarely, but now there are very few chapters left, so I'll try and get them out as fast as I can!

Please review :)

-

39. DARK DAYS

It was the tenth tree I'd hit in an hour when Emmett called to me, pointing out that my mind was way in space.

I knew that he was right. I had to concentrate on our mission. We were going to Forks to talk with the wolves. It was dangerous, but Edward was the only thing on my mind. Maybe it was wrong for us to have separated. Maybe all of us should have gone.

But then they might feel intimidated by us, and we wouldn't get a chance to talk with them. Of course, that could be the case when we were three, too.

"What do you think the chances are?" I asked.

"Slim," Rosalie told me. "But we might have a chance with this Jacob guy, especially since Victoria isn't exactly a nice nomad."

"I'm surprised they joined up with her," I murmured.

"You killed their Alpha," Rosalie pointed out. "They're probably pretty pissed."

"What if they attack us when we get there? Before we can say anything," I continued to worry.

"We'd be in a bad position to fight back," Rosalie said dryly.

"You both worry too much," Emmett boomed. "We can take them."

"We'll run," Rosalie groaned.

"Look, if we stick to the plan, things should go fine," I tried to calm myself down. I had to think positive. But whenever I turned my thoughts towards the plan, Charlie came to my mind, too. Naturally. We were going to break into his house.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Bella?" Rosalie asked.

I nodded. "We just have to wait for him to be gone. Then we should easily be able to slip in."

At that point, we were getting nearer and nearer to Forks. We all wrinkled our nose when we passed a frail trail of stinky wolf. They'd widened their range. I wondered why, but since we didn't want to go through the trouble of finding out, we simply sped up.

"The smells here are strange," Rosalie noted as we moved towards town. "It's a strange combination of …"

"Wolf and vampire," Emmett finished.

"Victoria," I breathed.

"They wouldn't let her get this close, would they?" Rosalie asked.

"What is it that she has, anyway? They wouldn't just join up with one vampire," Emmett said.

"Are you saying that there might be more?" We were getting closer to my dad's house. It was a long time since I was last here. I remembered running through my stuff in the very room that used to be mine …

"There might," Emmett responded. "It would make sense."

"There's no car," Rosalie pointed out. "Do you think he's home?"

I shook my head. "No. Let's go."

Our plan was simple. Get in, find Billy's number, leave a message for Jacob, and wait. We'd stay near town so that they wouldn't attack us. We hoped, at least.

It wasn't hard to find the number. It was written down on a piece of paper, held up by a magnet, on the refrigerator. I only needed to glance at it once, and then I had memorized it already. I dialed it and waited.

"Hello, it's Billy."

Well … dang.

I ended the connection.

"Wrong answerer," I told them. "It has to be Jacob."

"So what?" Rosalie asked. "We're just going to wait until your father comes home and see if it works then?" She rolled her eyes. "Great plan, Bella."

I scowled at her. "We'll try again in a little moment."

"They'll get suspicious," Rosalie murmured.

"You give them waay too much credit, Rose," Emmett stated, squeezing her cheek. She cut him off by jabbing his hand away with her own.

"_Anyway_!" She turned back to me. "Even if that might be so, we should still be careful. We don't want to cause an unnecessary ruckus."

"I think we already caused one when I killed a certain alpha," I snorted. I looked at the phone. "We just have to find out what it is that Victoria wants."

"It's really simple, Bella. You. Dead. And that's what the wolves want, too."

"Well what do you suggest?!" I shouted at her.

"Shh, Bella," Rosalie cautioned.

"We can't back out now. We left the others for this," I growled.

Rosalie sighed.

I turned back to the phone and dialed the number again, ignoring the short amount of time that had gone by.

Lucky.

It was Jacob.

"Hello?"

"Meet me at my dad's house in two hours without the pack," I breathed quickly. I wasn't sure whether it was too fast for his ears.

I cut the phone off.

"Right," Emmett stated. "Let's get this over with!"

"If this goes … badly," Rosalie said. "What do we do?"

"We go back to the others," I responded. "As fast as we can. But until then …" I started making my way out of the house, "we need to have a little chat with Victoria."

They followed me right away, knowing that this was inevitable. We couldn't go home with empty hands. If things went wrong with Jacob, we needed to have _something_ – like the knowledge of exactly _how_ persistent Victoria was when it came to the subject of my death.

"I think I might have smelled something earlier," Emmett said. "A few miles back."

"Yea, I think I smelled that, too," Rosalie agreed.

"Then we'll head out there. We have two hours to get our information, maybe less. Let's go!"

-

Indeed, we were on the trail of something – or rather, _someone_ – but it wasn't Victoria, that much was clear. I remembered her smell pretty well – it was one of those stored under _try not to remember_.

This wasn't Victoria.

"You don't think they joined up with other vampires, no?" Rosalie asked, sniffing around the empty house we'd tracked ourselves to.

"No," Emmett answered. "They wouldn't let vampires hunt, and this place smells like blood. This is a nomad, not a vegetarian."

"Something strange is going on here," I murmured. "Even I feel that."

Rosalie nodded. "I'll be right back."

Before Emmett or I could interject, she was gone, and I looked questioningly at Emmett, who shrugged. He looked worried, though, as if he might follow her, and I imagined the scenarios he was imagining. Something probably very similar to the ones I had dreaded of Edward.

"She can take care of herself," I told him.

He nodded, obviously not convinced.

Emmett's muscles didn't relax before Rosalie was back ten minutes later, holding something white in her fist.

"What is it?" I asked, walking closer.

She held it up, and I recognized the setups of articles and pictures and titles of the day.

"What do you want with the newspaper?" I asked.

She flipped through it. "Your father's in it," she told me.

I reached for the newspaper, and she gave it to me willingly, pointing to the place I needed to read, obviously not needed with my fast powers of skimming.

The words written down on the white pages seemed to be dripping with desolation. I was frozen as I read my father's name again and again.

"This does explain the nomad," Emmett murmured. He grabbed the newspaper out of my hands, leaving them empty in the air. I didn't move, too scared to try and think. "But it doesn't explain Seattle or Port Angeles. Or any of the other cities around."

He was right. Things were definitely wrong here.

People were dying. Disappearing. To humans it would seem pretty normal, though maybe a bit extreme in this coincidence, but to us, it was plain.

Vampires.

"What does this mean?" Emmett asked.

"I don't think Victoria would let another vampire have the chance of ruining her plans," Rosalie said. "It doesn't make sense for Victoria to be alone, either. That vampire is probably a companion of Victoria's."

I forced myself out of my frozen position. I was worried about this vampire. My father was investigating the case. He could be in danger …

But then again, if this nomad was an ally of Victoria's, and Victoria knew that Charlie was my father … No matter how much she would like to, she must know that it would be bad business to kill my father, even if he was an obstacle.

I took a deep breath to steady myself, physically needed or not.

"That doesn't explain the hunting," Emmett argued.

"It does," I said. "Victoria is trying to trick them or something. We have to find this vampire and get the truth from him or her."

"This way," Emmett responded, pointing south. He didn't wait for us to follow.

-

My sense of time was telling me that there were still an hour and a half till we were meeting Jacob outside my house, but my brain was constantly saying that we had less time. What if Jacob didn't have enough trust left? The pack could be out for us now …

My ears seemed to turn at any sound, trying to make out the different imprints from each other.

Nothing.

"I think we've been noticed," Emmett clarified.

My body tightened, and my shield was instantly in effect. My brain hurt as I extended it. I wasn't exactly sure of the limits of my shield, but I knew that they were strongly connected to the state of my mind. I tried to be calmer and smooth out the corners as I spread it out around us. Emmett and Rosalie were like two lights, burning in my mind. They were now connected to whatever part of my mind that created the shield. It was a part of them, too.

It calmed me, and it made it a little easier to hold the shield up.

"I can hear it," I said.

"Come out!" Rosalie shouted. "We're tired of this game of hide and seek. Let's get this over with."

"Easy, Rosalie," I hissed.

"What? She obviously needs a push in the right direction."

"She?"

"Yes," a voice sounded. "She."

We all turned towards a female vampire with long, chocolate brown hair, white skin and red eyes. I found a sort of similarity in her.

She wore a pitying smile.

"You must be Bella," she barged. "My so-called other self."

I gritted my teeth. "What do you mean?"

She rolled her eyes. "Little Bella. So stupid." She looked at my siblings. "So sorry."

Emmett swirled around as something crashed into him, and I turned to see what had happened. Three vampires had snuck up on us. They were strangely silent and hard to make out. Blurry. I had to blink to try and see them. I couldn't, and I knew that Emmett and Rosalie couldn't sense them. It was only me. Because they were inside _my_ shield. I could only sense them because of that. At first I tried to withdraw my shield from them, but that just made it worse. Whatever power they possessed, my shield could not protect me against it.

I turned towards the female nomad. She was still visible, and I launched myself at her right away. We were about equally strong, so Rosalie's call to come to my assistance and hold her hands was to much help.

Emmett's groan behind me distracted me long enough that the nomad could pull back her feet and kick me in the gut. She turned around then as well as she could, biting Rosalie where she could get to.

"Emmett!" I shouted, jumping at those bodies that I could only guess at. I bit around me, trying not to hit Emmett, and I felt him writhe out from under them.

"Thanks, Bella."

"Help Rosalie and _run_!" I shouted.

I kicked one of them off me and nailed another one down with my knee and bit the last one in the wrist.

That was when I set off in full speed and followed behind Emmett and Rosalie, before, only few seconds later, we were trying to escape the four other vampires.

"Where are we running?" Rosalie asked.

"My dad's house," I responded.

We ran as fast as we could, and I spread my shield as a veil behind and around us. I had to try and keep track of where they were.

I lost track of time. All I could comprehend was our escape and the frail hope of the wolves realizing that these were friends of Victoria.

We finally got to the first houses, and we ran in a circle around town to get to my dad's house. They slowed down a bit, halted and then stopped entirely.

"Wait! They stopped," I said.

"How do you know?" Rosalie asked.

"I can sense them with my shield," I responded.

"Then why should we wait?" Emmett asked. "We're almost there."

"Exactly," I said, "and the wolves might be waiting."

They both slowed down, and we were all listening and trying to smell the wolves. It didn't take long before we knew that they were there.

"He's not alone," Rosalie whispered.

"We didn't count on it," Emmett responded.

"Come."

I led them to a place near the house and intentionally made noises that would make the wolves notice us. Then we gathered on a little hill and waited. The hill was made so that we would have a chance to jump away if the pack surrounded us and tried to attack.

"We know what you've been doing, Bella!"

I almost couldn't recognize Jacob's voice. It was so deep and rough.

I turned to see him come walking out of the forest, his hair cut short and his chest bare. He was only wearing shorts.

"Bella hasn't been doing anything," Emmett growled.

A few of the wolves growled back, and I raised and arm to put my hand on Emmett's shoulder.

"Then how will you explain all of the people around here, who have been killed by a brunette vampire that looks exactly like you?" Jacob asked. "And smells the same, too."

"We just met a female vampire," Rosalie cut him off, and his eyes moved to her pale face. "She looked exactly like Bella, and she called Bella her 'other self'."

"Don't lie to us, bloodsucker," another werewolf, who wasn't transformed, spat.

"We're not lying," I tried to tell him. "They're still in the area. One of them has a power of camouflage. I don't exactly know how it works, but it wouldn't surprise me if it worked with smells, too."

"How convenient, this power that makes it hard for us find them," the other werewolf growled.

"We might as well check it out," Jacob said, pointing to five of the wolves, which moved out right away. "Now," he turned towards us, "even if what you're saying _is_ true, why would we want to have anything to do with you who killed our Alpha?"

"That was an accident," I told him.

"Accident or not, that's what happened," the other one groaned.

Jacob sent him a glare, and he shut up.

He looked back at me. "Why have you contacted us?"

"We know that Victoria has contacted you," I said, cutting straight to the point. The wolves made surprised and confused noises. "We also know that there are more vampires than only Victoria."

"Yes," Jacob responded. "They are three. Victoria and two guys."

I shook my head. "They are more than that. We're not exactly sure how many, but at least five, including Victoria, if two of the three male vampires we saw are the two you saw."

Jacob raised an eyebrow.

"You've gotta believe me!" I told him.

"Why have you come?"

"We need your help to get rid of Victoria," I answered.

"Victoria wants you dead, and you want Victoria dead. We might as well withdraw from the whole thing and let you guys work it out yourself. If it was not for you killing Sam, that is what we would do."

"Victoria kills people!" I forced through my gritted teeth.

"So do you."

I shook my head. "I don't! The girl who _look_ like me do! And she's most definitely working for Victoria!"

Rosalie cut me off and said: "Haven't you wondered why Charlie hasn't been killed?"

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "He's her father. She wouldn't kill him, or so we counted on."

"But she would get her father tangled up in the vampire world. He's the one who's leading the search. Why would Bella, if not willing to kill him, make everything worse for him? And why would she hunt near you guys?"

Jacob's expression was blank.

"It isn't Bella. Just look at her eyes." She pointed to me. "See! They're not red!"

Jacob narrowed his eyes. "I don't know what that means."

"It means she hasn't fed on human blood!"

"Why should we believe that?"

A new werewolf in human form walked out of the forest.

"We followed a trail smelling like Bella. It led up north, then south and then it followed around the town. Then it split, and we followed the one leading back up north. After a while, the trail changed into four different smells."

Jacob turned back towards us with a groan. "Fine. What if we do believe you?"

"We don't know what Victoria is planning," I said. "She's tricky. She's probably planning on getting rid of the wolves after the fight, hoping that enough of you have gotten hurt. But if we fight together, the werewolves and our family, then we can take her and all her plans down."

Jacob looked around at the wolves, before the three werewolves, including himself, that were in their human form disappeared into the forest. The wolves made strange noises yet again. Ten minutes went by, and I felt all the eyes on us. Rosalie put a hand on my shoulder, giving it a little squeeze.

Then Jacob came back.

"We have decided to work with you if one condition is met," he said.

"What is it?" I asked eagerly.

"As a punishment for Sam's death, after Victoria's death, you and your family are forbidden from ever stepping on these grounds again. _Ever_! Not in a hundred or in a thousand years. No more!"

I met his eyes with sadness, knowing that this would be a great loss to my family, more than it would be to me.

Emmett stepped forward. "We accept."

"Emmett," I whispered.

"We know them better than you do, Bella," he cut me off.

"Call your bloodsuckers," Jacob growled. "Don't come into the reservation, stay at your house and only hunt animals!"

We nodded.

"Meanwhile, we'll try and catch Victoria."

"Be careful," I said.

He snorted, and the wolves withdrew.

I sighed and rested myself in Rosalie's arms.

-

I rather liked this chapter :)

I hope you did, too.

Dawn


	41. Chapter 40

I'm so sorry that it took me so long to get the next chapter written! There's just so MUCH! *Sigh* Luckily, this story has only two chapters left after this! And after this is finished, six chapters remain to be written of Winternight. So my two biggest stories are coming to an end! I'm looking forward to getting Twilight off my hands. I'm getting sort of tired of the endless romance – as you can probably feel in my writing. I'll try not to get into too big projects in the future, too, though it's hard! I might do some oneshots for Twilight in the future, though, since there are characters I think should get more … text-time I guess we'll call it. Characters like Leah Clearwater.

Anyway! Chapter 40!

-

40. ECLIPSE

"Oh, I missed home so much! I didn't even know," Alice chimed, as she danced through the house that used to be the Cullen's home. Her face was lit with excitement, and it was as if she was the sun in the room. She brightened the whole place.

"Don't get too comfortable," I said.

Alice stopped in an elegant, yet stiff, movement, and she turned around in a spiraling movement that would have blinded a human by the bare beauty of it.

Her eyes were accusing, but I ignored it. I felt Edward's questioning gaze on my face, but I didn't respond. Something was changed. No, not something.

Everything.

I turned around and left the room to move out into the sun. It was an extraordinarily sunny day for Forks, but here it didn't mean a thing. My skin shone like diamond and cast off delicate sparkles. I heard Jasper's steps behind me and turned around with expectant eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

I shrugged and looked away from him. He could feel the turmoil in my mind, then.

I was being selfish.

"The wolves are coming," Edward announced from inside.

"Kate and Garrett will be back from hunting in a moment," Alice said. "Then we'll all be here."

I looked over the forest, waiting for my sister and her fiancé to come running. I was anxious that the wolves might have changed their mind somehow, and that we were all in danger. In that case, though, it might be better if Kate and Garrett just took a run for it.

Just as Alice had predicted, Kate and Garrett came in time for the wolves. It was unnerving to see the big, smelly creatures line up before us in the gallant way that it looked, and from the corner of my eye I saw Emmett twitch restlessly. Luckily, Rosalie was there to assure that no stupid movements were done from his side.

Jacob moved out from the big crowd of fur, already speaking.

"We investigated, just as you advised us. We found out that Victoria's socalled 'party' was a bit bigger than just three people. It's an army."

"An army?" Carlisle asked puzzled.

"We singled out at least twenty-seven different fragrances apart from yours, and we are certain that there is at least ten more," Jacob responded.

"How was the individuals interacting with each other?" Jasper suddenly asked. Edward's hand crept into mine, and I peeked up at him. His eyes met mine, and he opened his mouth, as if to speak, but then solemnly closed it again. I wondered briefly what he could have wanted to say.

"Aggressive," Jacob said. "Almost like selfish children, fighting over mere toys. Only on a larger scale."

Jasper turned in a sudden movement. "Newborns," he declared.

I realized we had all been thinking this, but never wanting to let it officially cross our minds. We knew that he was right, yet none of us spoke. I was certain that I wasn't the only one trying to make out how this could all be a misunderstanding.

"If it were newborns, I think that the newspapers would have noticed," Esme declared.

I smiled shakily, putting my faith in Esme's words.

"They noticed," Jasper said. "You've all been too busy, but I've seen the papers. Besides," his eyes darkened, "its better that it's newborns than experienced vampires."

His words took my breath away. I couldn't believe that I had been so careless. Of course he was right. I remembered those days of brute strength without composition. They didn't know what they were doing, and with so many vampires and so little time, Victoria couldn't possibly have taught them much.

"What are you talking about?" Jacob asked.

"We'll tell you all about it," Carlisle promised.

-

There was no doubt what Victoria wanted, what she had known and what she had planned.

She wanted me.

She'd known that the Denali clan would help us, and that the wolves hated us.

She'd planned to create an army and fool the wolves into working with her, outnumbering all of us.

Even though it wasn't as big a number as before, she was still outnumbering us.

That was what we kept our minds on. We had to find a way to fight her and her army. My family was calling around for help, while we all trained with the wolves.

Except me.

My family had agreed that if I was to suddenly stand in front of the enemy, I wouldn't have a chance. They had decided to hide me somewhere, and Edward would stay with me. We were to hide a place that our scents would be hidden, but close enough that my shield would be able to protect our side. That was why I was training my shield, expanding it as much as I could.

Alice couldn't look into the future. For some reason, her vision didn't work, to her great worry and confusion. Edward and Carlisle agreed that it was probably because of the wolves. Alice continued to be worried, though.

Edward and I went to our meadow. I felt that we had to go there, since it was the last chance we ever got. It was so sad to be there, knowing this. I wondered often if it would have been better had Tanya never found me, had I somehow ended up in another part of the world, far away from Edward …

I knew that I was far too selfish to seriously wishing this for real, but a part of me couldn't see any other way that my family could have been spared all of this.

If I got the chance, would I go back in time and tell myself not to have gone to the place where Tanya was?

If I had had the chance … Would I have gone back and told myself not to go for a walk that fateful night?

"What's wrong, my love?" Edward asked, reaching for my hand as we lay by each other's side in our meadow.

I shook my head an forced a smile on my lips. "Nothing," I answered. As I looked at him, my smile became real, and I pulled myself towards him so that my head lay resting beside his chest. He put his hand on my shoulder and sat up. I looked questioningly at him.

"There's something I want to ask you, Bella."

I got up, too, feeling that this was important. I lifted my hand to put it on his cheek, and I looked into his eyes with concern.

"Yes?"

"Bella …" He pulled both my hands into his and gathered them in his own between us. His eyes met mine, and for a moment it seemed like time had ceased to exist. I was certain it did.

"Will you marry me?"

A force pressed through my lips in a whisper.

"Yes."

In my human life, marriage had seemed such a dull thing, and I might have considered myself too young for it. But this was something different. I was already planning on spending forever with him.

He reached for something behind him, and I saw him pull something from his pocket. It was a little box that he opened carefully, and inside it I saw a diamond ring. It had so many different angles and facets that it gave off a brilliant spark of different colors, created from the light passing through it.

I stopped breathing for a whole second, my hand twitching towards it without my permission.

Edward chuckled and grabbed my hand, placing the beautiful ring on my ring finger. When he let go of my hand, I raised it into the light so that I could see it better. I ignored Edward as he wrapped his arm around me, observing the ring just as I did.

The light of the forest seemed all the more like that of a fairy tale. But even fairy tales has it's dark points.

-

None of us wanted the humans to get involved, so we decided to make sure the battle took place far away from it.

Everyone but Edward and I took place in the huge meadow a few miles from the Cullen's house.

Edward took me to a place about seven hundred meters away, and my shield were only barely capable of reaching my family and the wolves.

"What now?" I asked Edward.

He sat down beside me in the grass. It had begun to snow, just as I remembered that it did an awful lot in Forks.

"We wait," he answered. "Alice is looking out for us."

I nodded with a sigh. There was nothing more I could do but wait till it was all over.

The battle had been parted so that the wolves would fight in a smaller meadow than where my family was, making it so that Alice could see. And Alice had seen today in her mind as 'the day'. We didn't know when exactly, but soon.

Edward and I didn't speak. We just sat with each other's hands intertwined.

Then Edward took a deep breath.

"It's about to begin," he whispered.

I stiffened and concentrated on my shield. I knew that some of the vampires that Victoria brought with her had powers. Since I couldn't see, only feel those within my shield, I could do nothing but guess at my family's movements where the enemy was, and I formed the shield as close to my family as I possibly could.

Edward acted as my eyes. He would tell me when a vampire with a special power came near one of our own, and I would concentrate on that place. It only took ten minutes before a severe headache was planning to destroy my capacity, but Edward held on to me, giving me words of courage.

I could feel the shield snapping backwards, and I was unsure of what to do. How long could this fight drag out?

"Do you think they'll win?" I asked Edward in a short breath.

"I honestly wouldn't think so."

Even though it was a long time since I had last heard the voice, I remembered Victoria's scathing way of speaking.

I looked anxiously away from Edward, towards the sound. All my fears concluded as I stared at Victoria across the little field we were in.

Edward had me pulled up in a second, positioned before me in a protective manner.

"The shield!" he reminded me through gritted teeth.

I nodded but then caught my eye on four other vampires behind her. We were badly outnumbered.

"Run, Bella!" he shouted to me.

I didn't have time to decide what to do. One of the vampires were already standing beside me, grasping my shoulders. Edward was not capable of helping me, since he, too, was trying to free himself of the enemy.

Instead of continuously trying to fight my way free, I plunged into the vampire holding on to me and placed my teeth into his neck. He gasped and threw me away. I landed securely on my feet, Edward right beside me now.

The five vampires facing us were already striking again, and Edward pushed me backwards yet again, facing off the first of the vampires.

I didn't have time to worry about Edward any longer.

All my force was centered in my legs as I lunged myself backwards, taking a moment to clear my head.

Two of the vampires plus Victoria were already after me, while the last one was going after Edward. I was pretty sure that Edward could take on two vampires, but these two looked pretty strong.

"Don't take me lightly," I growled at Victoria as I returned my attention to the fight I was about to go through.

Victoria raised an eyebrow. "I think that's my line," she declared scornfully, and the three of them attacked me mercilessly.

I tried redoing my move from before, but as I tried to push myself backwards, one of them grabbed me, turning my speed against me and hammering me into the ground.

Knowing that lying down more than a second in such a fight was fatal, I hurriedly tried to get on my feet again, but their arms were around me before I got to my knees.

"Don't worry, Bella," Victoria grinned. "It won't hurt too bad. Though how should I know? I've never been burned alive before." She laughed and gathered both of her hands high above me. I gasped, closing my eyes just before her fists punched into my face, and I heard something crack, meddled with Edward's voice.

And then the scream from my throat.

"What an annoying sound," Victoria declared, the smirk obvious in her voice. I wouldn't know if her face was actually lit by it. It felt like a huge hole was where my face was supposed to be. "Let's cut it."

Before I knew what was going on, hands were on what I was pretty sure was my mouth, forcing my lips open. Too late I realized what they were doing.

I squirmed and threw a fit the best I could, but his fingers were already pulling at my tongue.

A tearless cry was prevented from escaping.

"_Bella_!" Edward shouted.

Victoria laughed.

I tried to scream.

And then the woman, that had once been the vampire I had put all my hopes in, wrapped her arms around me, twisting my arms in a way that was too painful to imagine. I was starting to give up on freeing myself, and instead I was hoping that Edward would somehow come to my rescue.

"Now."

Victoria's order released new pain in my arm, a pain that I remembered from the time that I got my limb ripped off.

I screamed without a sound, and the most grotesque part was, it felt like it was Victoria's laughter coming out of my mouth.

-

Yea … I love ripping limbs off … It's so much fun … Especially when Victoria's doing it … Yea.

Review?

Please?

*_*


	42. The End

Dear readers of Newborn

I am sincerely sorry to have let you guys down by failing to post chapters. I promised to finish it quickly, now that there were only two chapters left, but I simply cannot. It's a blockade that will not go away, and for that I apologize.

I have been through blockades lately, in all my arts. Amv-making, art-making, fanfiction-making and writing my own story. My world has been turned upside down, and I'm not quite sure by what exactly.

Examinations are nearing, and I'm nervous about not getting into the school that I want to, because if I don't … Well, I'll end up in a pretty crappy school that will ruin my education. So yay!

And I'm serious, it's that bad.

In conclusion, I will not be keeping you guys on the hook. I am ending this restless story right now, by never finishing it. I am sorry.

But! I will, if you would like, post my notes for the last two chapters.

Again, I'm sorry. This doesn't mean that I will stop writing fanfictions. Actually, this is more of my "come-back" to fanfictions, after my long absence.

I hope you find it in yourselves to forgive me. You have all given me such an amazing journey by leaving all those kind reviews, and making me laugh at those comments bashing the gore in the story, declaring me insane for having written this.

Thank you all so, so much!

With the warmest of regards, and most respectful of thoughts;

Lythya


	43. Chapter 41 by Titanterror12

First off, I want to say to "**Newborn Lythya fan**", an anonymous reviewer whom I cannot write back to and therefore respond to here, that I am sorry for the thoughtlessness of my comment and that I agree. It was tactless of me and I thank you for the comment. A thousand times sorry. I hope you can forgive me, because in a way, I understand. I have phobia, and I get very upset when people say that it's overrated and that it's nothing and that I should get over it. It was wrong of me to trivialize it.

When I announced that I was ending the story unfinished, Titanterror12 immediately proposed to finish the story, and I agreed. I gave Titanterror12 my notes and thoughts and therefore will not be posting them here, as the chapters, written by Titanterror12, will.

Please enjoy this chapter, written by Titanterror12. I hope you find that it is in the spirit of the story.

Titanterror12's profile: .net/u/2113973/titanterror12

39. THE WORST

_Edward POV_

"_Bella_!" I screamed out. With my arms being held behind my back, being restrained by two newborn vampires, all I could do was scream while my love and my life was being ripped apart.

Victoria's laugh echoed in the small dark meadow that had once been full of light and love. I wished that I was the one Victoria was after, not my mate. I would do anything to keep my Bella alive.

"Now." Victoria snarled as she got a tight grip around Bella's arm. And with a hard tug, the limb came off with a glass shattering noise. It was horrific and in all my vampire years, I felt sick for the first time.

Bella's shriek only added to the feeling as she expressed her pain for her torn limb.

"And again." Victoria laughed. She leaned over to Bella's other arm and tore it off just like the last one. Bella cried out and I could see venomous tears pooling in her eyes. "You are so weak, little Bella. Thinking you could ever live off of _animals_ blood and be able to fight in a battle? If you had lived my way you would have had a _chance_ at fighting me. But your way of life made you frail while I am strong." Victoria breathed.

Her arms shot out at Bella which sent her flying into the ground. Mud and dirt flew up around her, creating a dust cloud. I silently prayed she would take the chance and run, but as the dust settled, I saw Bella just lying there, armless; defenseless. I looked at her darkening eyes, and didn't see a shimmer of hope. She truly thought this was the end.

_Let us see how Bella likes a little fire!_ Victoria thought as she pulled the lighter out of her pocket.

"NO!" I boomed. Victoria's head whipped around to face me and just looked annoyed.

She looked at the vampires restraining me. "Shut him up. Hard." She purred. She directed her focus back on to the lifeless Bella lying on the ground as well as the other two vampires flanking her.

The two vampires holding me looked at each other behind my head, yet they didn't know I could read their thoughts.

_Looks like we are taking the head off. Alright! One, two…_

But before they could count to three, I made the risky move by squatting down on my knees. They both had had too much of their weight on my shoulders, and they both collapsed on the ground which was what I was hoping for. I sprung up quickly as they were falling. I kicked the one in the face effectively shattering his entire head.

One down, I thought.

_MY BROTHER! HE KILLED MY BROTHER! THAT BASTARD! _The other one thought. I landed on the ground as he started running at me. I ran at him and at the last second, I did a flip over him. He went skidding into the ground, expecting to have hit me.

He regained his balance and snarled at me and I growled back. I faintly heard a whimper and immediately recognized it as Bella's. I died a little more inside at the thought of losing her. I couldn't. I wouldn't. I would find a way to go with her if she ceased to exist.

But I shoved those thoughts out of my head at the knowledge that Bella was still alive. If Victoria would only give Bella a few more minutes…

But my thinking had distracted me, and my enemy's had taken notice. One of the ones that had been helping Victoria left her and came after me. He had come from behind me and shoved me into the one in front of me. I stumbled and at the last second slid on the ground next to him. I shot up in one second and was running at both of them in the other. As I was running, I read the first vampires mind and saw he was going to wrap his arms around my torso. At the last second he opened his arms out, but I had expected it and jumped. I landed with my hands balanced on his head and gave it a good twist. Once again, its sounded like metal tearing and glass shattering as his head popped off and fell to the ground. His body followed and thumped to the ground.

_EDWARD! If you can hear me listen! I am almost there! Alice said Victoria has Bella, help her! NOW! _I immediately recognized the voice as Jaspers because of the southern drawl, but wasn't sure what to do.

I had one vampire on my hands, then two others: Victoria and her helper. So in total I had three to deal with. I suddenly didn't care about the other vampires as I dove at Victoria. But she front flipped over Bella and crouched down by her head. Luckily the lighter was out of her hand, yet an evil smile whipped across her face. I saw in her mind the two newborns were coming at me from behind, so I back flipped in the last second. They fell into each other as I looked at Bella.

I finally died all the way inside as I looked over her lifeless body. Both of her arms were ripped off, and there were only shards of stone where her arm sockets were while her arms lay next to her. Her right foot was also torn off which was lying by her shattered ankle. Yet what broke my heart was the countless burn marks that covered her body. They were a few on her legs, several on her stomach which was exposed because of her burned clothing, but I stood frozen as I saw the last one, because it showed all hope was lost. The last one was stretched across Bella's neck; it was the equivalent to slicing a human's throat; Bella was dead. I wasn't quick enough.

"You're too late. But thank you for letting me have so much fun with her. She was an excellent play toy." Victoria laughed while throwing her head back. I could only see red as I launched myself at her. She wasn't expecting it so she fell into the ground. Behind me, Jasper flew into the meadow and took on the two newborns behind me.

I was standing on top of Victoria as I leaned down and ripped her right arm off.

"How do you like it, bitch?" I yelled at her while she shrieked. I was never one to be inhumane, but Victoria killed my mate, and she would pay. I felt the lighter at my feet and snatched it in half a second. Victoria was too worried about her missing arm to realize what would happen next.

I flicked the lighter and caught her hair on fire. Her eyes were as black as coal while she screamed as the fire licked up her hair and started burning her head.

She didn't think her next move so I wasn't expecting it, and she effectively threw me off of her. Her red hair was literally fiery as it shriveled around her sadistic head. She whipped her head quickly which immediately put out the flames.

She then lunged at me, but I had expected that. I jumped over her and turned around just in time for her to punch my jaw with her left hand. A glass shattering noise echoed from my face, and I could feel the crack in my skin that started at my chin and went up to my temple. I flew back into the ground, but tried to get up quickly. I launched myself off the ground using my arms, while my feet kicked Victoria's unsuspecting face. She started to fly back, but landed on her hands. She shoved her weight at the ground making her land back on her feet.

She growled at me as she ran straight forward. I stepped to the left as she came at me and I grabbed her left arm, placing one hand on her wrist and the other at her elbow. I swung her over my head and slammed her into the ground. I put my foot on her head and yanked on her arm. She cried out as I heard the ripping of her arm, but heard more behind me. I just prayed Jasper was winning that battle.

I walked around Victoria, lying there just like Bella had. Remembering this, I stomped on Victoria's right knee which shattered underneath my force.

"You killed my fiancé, MY MATE. Now you die." I snarled at her. I leaned down by her head and could see horror in her own eyes. She was finally scared. Good.

Feel scared just like Bella did as she tortured her.

I placed my hands on head; one cupping her chin and the other across her forehead. I gripped tightly, and finally shoved my right hand forward and my left hand back. Her head snapped off while her scream was cut off. At last, she was gone. Bella's death was avenged and it was all over for her.

But then I remembered her minions so I looked behind me to see how Jasper was doing. Just as my eyes fell on him I saw him grab the final newborn into a headlock. He twisted the head quickly, finishing the job as the body fell to the ground.

I returned my attention back to the body in front of me, and started gathering her limbs and placing them on top of her. Japer gathered the two bodies that were mostly intact besides their heads. There were chunks missing randomly on the body but I could tell it was in Jaspers attempt to grip them. Taking on two newborns was impressive. But then again: it was Jasper.

I had a newfound respect for Jasper, as he risked his own life, taking on two wild newborns, to try to save my own life as well as Bella's. He had fought in battles like these before, but they had never been to save lives; they had been to destroy and save territory.

He dumped the bodies and heads on top of Victoria, and I placed Victoria's head on top. I flicked the lighter open and threw the weapon used to kill my mate at the pile. It immediately went up in flames and a purple smoke cloud rose from the bodies. I watched as they charred, blackened, and finally became nothing but ash. I felt Jaspers hand fall onto my shoulder, and I finally collapsed to the ground.

I screamed out for the loss of my future wife, my mate. I cried that I would not have a future with her. I cried that I would have to spend the rest of my time on this earth alone, and not with her. But that time would not be long. I would follow her as soon as I could.

Jasper sat down next to me and cried on my shoulder for the loss of his new sister. Jasper had cared deeply about Bella, and this whole battle proved it. We sat there in silence, other than our dry, tearless sobs, as we hugged each other for the loss of our family member.

I sobbed even louder when I heard the rest of the family running to us. When they stopped at the edge of the meadow, they all gasped upon looking at Bella, and again looking at us.

"MY DAUGHTER!" Esme shrieked as she fell into Carlisle's arms. This made me feel even worse. I hadn't been able to save her new daughter. She had lost a son in her human life, tried to kill herself and became one of us because of it. I could only imagine how she felt at losing yet another.

Carlisle's eye's looked as though they might cry, though of course they wouldn't. His thoughts revolved around being strong for his family.

Alice broke down completely, falling on the floor and screamed. "BELLA!" She bawled. She choked on her sobs and just screamed, even though she had known.

Jaspers head slowly picked up at hearing his wife's sobs and walked over to her. When he finally reached her, he collapsed as well. He held her close while they cried together.

Emmett was sobbing, which meant Rose had to be the strong one for Emmett, yet her eyes resembled Carlisle's.

When Jasper went over to Alice, he had left me by myself, in the middle of the meadow. I crawled over to Bella, sat down next to her body and picked her up while cradling her head in the other. I pressed her body against mine, just holding her as I sobbed over her loss.

I don't know how long we all cried tearlessly. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks; I wouldn't have known the difference. I was too lifeless to even care.

It was only when Alice's cry's stopped abruptly that caught my attention. I looked into her mind and saw her vision.

_The Volturi were heading into the clearing where the main battle took place. We were all back there except Esme and….and B-…Bella._

_Jane had a sickening smile plastered on her face. "What has happened here, Cullens? We come to destroy the newborns and find you here instead." She sneered. She was indicating that we created the army. Demetri looked somewhat upset, I guessed that he just wanted to kill._

And then the vision went blank.

"Al-Ali? Wh-What did you s-see?" Jasper choked out.

Alice let out a loud scream. "The Vol-Volturi. They're c-coming. Right now. We need to get back," she cried as she pointed in the direction they had just come from.


	44. Chapter 42 by Titanterror 12

_Previously:_

_It was only when Alice's cry's stopped abruptly that caught my attention. I looked into her mind and saw her vision._

_**The Volturi were heading into the clearing where the main battle took place. We were all back there except Esme and….and B-…Bella.**_

_**Jane had a sickening smile plastered on her face. "What has happened here, Cullens? We come to destroy the newborns and find you here instead." She sneered. She was indicating that we created the army. Demetri looked somewhat upset, I guessed that he just wanted to kill.**_

_And then the vision went blank._

_"Al-Ali? Wh-What did you s-see?" Jasper choked out._

_Alice let out a loud scream. "The Vol-Volturi. They're c-coming. Right now. We need to get back," she cried as she pointed in the direction they had just come from._

_Now:_

Gasps could be heard throughout the meadow. We knew there was a possibility of the Volturi coming, but we assumed that if we took care of the newborn problem in time that there wouldn't be a need for them. Apparently our battle was a bit too late.

"Alice, who all is coming from the guard?" Carlisle asked.

It took Alice a moment to collect herself enough to answer. "A-Aro, Cauis, Marcus, Demetri, Jane, and Alec." Alice mumbled.

"When?" was Carlisle's next question.

"In about twenty minutes. If we don't get to the clearing in time they will come to us." Alice confirmed, still trying to hold back tears. We were all trying to hold back the sobs. Everyone but me. I couldn't stop—my mate was dead.

I continued to cradle Bella in my arms as the rest of my family talked about the upcoming situation. I lifted one of my hands and traced my fingers over Bella's closed eye lids. I smoothed out her furrowed brow and as I looked at her face, I noticed it was finally taking on a look of calm. There was no pain or fear in her expression—just peaceful. My hand didn't stop caressing her face as I continued to weep for my love. I ran my fingers across her plump lips, back up to her temple and then down her nose. I just couldn't stop touching her. My heart couldn't come to terms with the fact that she was dead.

"Edward," Carlisle said softly. I slowly picked my head up and unwillingly took my eyes off of Bella, directing my focus on my father. I bit my tongue to stop my sobbing. When my eyes met his he continued, "We need to leave now, son; back to the clearing. The Volturi will be there any minute and we need everyone to be present for our explanation." He finished.

I thought about Alice's vision again. "Esme wasn't in the vision." I choked out.

"We know, that is intentional. Esme is going to take B-Bella back to the house." Carlisle stopped a moment to regain control of his wavering voice. "We are going to bury Bella, when we are all home."

I didn't know what to think of what Carlisle said. I knew I didn't want to be there at my loves funeral. I didn't think I would be able to handle saying goodbye, or seeing a tombstone. It would be too final. But then I reminded myself of what I would do in the clearing—I wouldn't live to see Bella's funeral.

I quickly glanced up at Alice to see if she saw my decision, and she didn't. I guessed she was too focused on mourning for her sister.

I looked back down at my Bella, put my arms underneath of her and picked her up bridal style. Thoughts then rushed into my head about how I would have carried her like that on our wedding day and the day we moved into our first house together. I couldn't hold my dry sobs back any longer. I burst into tearless cries as I thought about what could have been.

Esme walked over to me and held me while I held onto Bella. "I'm sorry." She whispered in my ear. She then released me and took the love of my life out of my arms and into her own. She carried her over to Carlisle and laid her down in front of him.

"I don't know if this will work but we can try." Carlisle said. He leaned over Bella and held one of her broken arms up to the socket where it had been torn from. We all held our breath and sighed when after a moment there was nothing. Just as Carlisle was going to give up, the arm slowly started molding back to her body. We all gasped at the phenomenon. We couldn't understand how the body would piece itself back together when she was ….d-dead.

I looked away as Carlisle carried on with piecing my Bella back together. When all noises stopped, I looked back. Bella was once again in one piece, but the thick black line across her neck still remained. It hadn't faded or healed like her limbs. The little hope that I had had was now crushed.

Esme leaned down over Bella and lifted her into her arms again. She nodded at Carlisle and then glanced over at me. I knew she was going back to the house now. My feet held their own as they carried me over to her. I stroked Bella's face once more, and as I leaned down to kiss her forehead all I could think was: _I will be with you soon, my love. Wait for me._

I took a step back, not taking my eyes off of Bella, even as Esme started to run back to the house. My body was screaming at me to follow, but I didn't. If I followed I wouldn't be able to die; I wouldn't be able to _be_ with Bella.

Once they were out of sight, I slowly turned my attention back to Carlisle. He nodded his head and ran in the direction of the clearing. One by one, everyone else began to run, and soon I was the only one left in the meadow. I looked at the once warm and magical meadow, the place where Bella and I had our first kiss and where she agreed to be my wife, but could only see darkness and death. The beauty and magic died right alongside of Bella.

I couldn't stand being there any longer, so I took off in the direction in which Carlisle and the others had left. I didn't run as fast as I usually did. The speed wasn't joyful like it had been before. There was no spring in my step, yet I ran a little faster knowing the sooner I got there, the sooner I would be with Bella.

When I emerged through the trees and into the clearing, I saw everyone waiting there for me. We arranged ourselves with Carlisle at the front, me slightly behind him, Emmett and Jasper flanking us and the girls at their sides. It was exactly like in the vision.

Not a moment later could I hear the thoughts of the Volturi guard. "I can hear them." I whispered, only low enough for my family to hear. This news alerted them, and they all leaned forward slightly. Shortly, we could all hear their footfalls of them gliding through the trees, and finally we could see them as they were heading into the clearing.

Just like the vision, Jane had a sickening smile on her face as she took in our appearances. Aro just looked around the open field, his eyes lingering on the piles of ashes that scattered the ground as he moved forward. He finally stopped his inspection when his eyes landed on us. As soon as they all stopped, they all put their hoods down.

"What has happened here, Cullen's? We come to destroy the newborns and find you here instead." Jane sneered. We could all understand from her tone that she was indicating we created the army. I didn't bother looking at Demetri, already knowing the look that was on his face from the vision.

"Now, now, Jane. Don't be rude." Aro said to Jane. He turned to Carlisle. "Ah, Carlisle, my friend. It has been too long since I've seen you last. I do wish we had met again under different circumstances, I might add." Aro said.

"Welcome, Aro. Yes, I agree it has been quite some time I have seen you last and I too wish this was not the reason we met again." Carlisle said, being polite.

"Well, I am sure you have an explanation for all of this! The newborns have created quite a stir and the humans are getting wary. They came very close to revealing our secret, I do hope this was not your doing." Aro said. He also indicated we were at fault. I would have laughed, have the circumstances been different.

"We are not at fault for the newborns. You see, we had a vampire join our coven not long ago," Carlisle was saying but Jane cut him off.

"And they lost control and created the newborns! If they joined your coven it **is** your responsibility." Jane glared, showing what little patience she had.

"I'm sorry Jane but that would be incorrect." Emmett said, making it sound like we were on a game show and she just lost. I had to admit it was funny, there were even a couple chuckles amongst the two groups but I couldn't get myself to laugh; I couldn't even get myself to smile.

"Emmett," Carlisle warned. Emmett just laughed. "As I was saying, we had a new vampire join our family, Bella. Yet before she was with us she ran into a few nomads, James, Victoria and Laurent. Being a newborn, she was ignorant and joined them for a short time, not really knowing what she was getting into. Bella and Victoria had had some misunderstandings, so she left, and stumbled upon the Denali clan. She lived with them for a short time before we came up to meet the new member of them family. It took some time getting used to one another but shortly thereafter we all became a family, and then Bella joined us instead of staying with the Denali's. Not too long ago we got word from James that Victoria joined with the wolves to...take out Bella. Victoria was raising the newborns, creating an army, all to eliminate Bella." Carlisle said, always dancing around the word kill. I shivered thinking about it. "Victoria and her army arrived earlier, and although we took out all of the newborns as well as Victoria, she got to Bella, completing what she came for." Carlisle choked out. I had never seen him have such trouble with words.

"So all of this was between Victoria and your Bella?" Aro asked. Carlisle just nodded. "Interesting, that one vampire would go to such extremes, risking their own life to take out another." He paused. "And you said that all of the newborns are gone, along with their creator, Victoria?" He asked.

Again, Carlisle just nodded. I could tell he was using all of his strength not to break down.

"Well, it seems that we are not needed here." Caius reasoned. He didn't look too bothered; just bored. Aro had a small smile on his face, while Marcus was just looking at Aro. Alec was just looking at us and Jane looked like she was ready to throw a temper tantrum. She was upset her power would not be necessary—but I would change that. Just as I was about to take a step forward, Alice screamed.

"Edward, NO! Em, Jazz, get Edward!" Emmett and Jasper both pounced on me from behind and we all ended up on the ground. I could tell by their thoughts that everyone was confused but when Alice screamed, they knew it was bad.

I knew my chance had been taken from me. I knew I would not join my Bella as soon as I had hoped. And at that I just sobbed. I couldn't stand existing while Bella did not.

"What seems to be the problem here?" Aro questioned. Carlisle looked tired as he glanced at Alice.

"Edward is not thinking straight, he just lost his mate. He was being irrational." Alice cried.

Everyone nodded, knowing what I wanted. "I will not kill you, Edward. You have such a gift! But you are welcome any time to join our Guard. You would be of great use!" Aro offered. I didn't answer as I just continued to sob tearlessly, still in the arms of Emmett and Jasper. "Well, the offer is always open, Edward. That goes for you as well Alice and Jasper."

Rosalie, Emmett and Jazz just growled.

"Well, I hope to see you again, Cullen's. Hopefully soon!" Aro said with a fake smile on his face. The guard all put their hoods back up, and turned around to go in the direction from which they came; all but one. Jane stood there a moment, staring at every one of us, even Carlisle. I was scared she would inflict her power on us, but she did not. After she was finished with her glaring, she put her hood up, and followed the rest of the Guard into the shadows of the trees.

I could hear Carlisle sigh in relief as the Volturi left, leaving all of us unscathed. Yet he then looked at me and all I could see in his eyes was pure pain. The pain was for losing his new daughter, seeing me, his first son, suicidal, and for seeing all of his family so hurt. He then walked over to me as Jazz and Em pulled me to my feet. Carlisle grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into him for a hug.

"I am sorry, my son. Losing her is hard on everyone, and I can only imagine what you must feel, but you cannot end your life just because hers ended. She wouldn't want you to do that. And if you take yourself out of the picture, it will only put our family in more pain. We all love you, Edward. We cannot afford another loss, we aren't strong enough." Carlisle said, choking on most of his words, just trying to hold back the cries. "Please promise me you will not take away the life I gave to you." He asked of me. But I already knew what my answer would be.

"I cannot." I said, trying to sound determined.

"Then please promise me you will try to live." Carlisle reasoned. I wasn't sure how to answer him. I knew I no longer wanted this life when Bella wasn't a part of it. Almost as if he was reading my mind, Carlisle added, "Even though Bella is gone, she will always be with you. For the rest of your life, she will always remain in your heart."

"I will try." I said truthfully. I knew Bella wouldn't want me to take my own life, so I would try for her. Carlisle looked back at Alice for confirmation. When her eyes glazed over, I didn't bother looking at the vision. I didn't care. When her eyes returned back to normal, she gave a sad smile and a nod, verifying that I would at least try. But trying is very different from doing.

Authors note: (Aka. Titanterror12)

Hey, I just wanted to apologize for taking so long to write this chapter! I was gone on vacations most of July, having no time to write, and when I got home I was sick and not thinking straight, so the chapters would have been crap if I had written them then. I then had my own story to update, and as soon as I was finished with that I worked on this one! I plan on writing the next chapter this week!


	45. The end and I suck

Hi guys

Yea so the story pretty much ended without getting it's proper end. Titanterror won't finish it, so I'm finally just going to post the notes, but not Titanterror's notes, my notes. From before Titanterror took over. (I can inform everyone, however, that titanterror was planning on reviving Bella.)

Anyway, from chapter 40 where Edward had proposed to Bella. The next chapter was supposed to be from Edward's pov. Where they fight Victoria and some of her followers and almost lose, but then Jasper comes along and helps them.

Victorie flees back to the army where the wolves and the other vampires are still fighting. Bella, Edward and Jasper join the battle. In the end the Volturi comes by and cleans up, warns the Cullens and leave.

Tada~

Bad notes, I know.

I'm sorry.

Yours truly.


End file.
